Ask Dr. Babooner

Note: This is the 500th post on Trail Baboon, many of them written by you, and all of them written FOR you. Thanks, Baboons, for your steady friendship and readership!

Dear Dr. Babooner,

Not that it matters all that much for the advice-giving part of this conversation, but I’m still running for President of the United States. I’ve asked you questions before and your words have been a real comfort to me for the most part, though you can be a little unkind and you’re not very consistent. Still, I think you’re genuine, and to me that matters more than knowing things.

I have been working so hard to change the world around just the way I like it. There’s a whole lot of convincing that has to be done. The people who disagree with me aren’t as docile as they ought to be, in my opinion. And then there are the people who are supposedly on my side! I thought I could count on them to back me up, but just yesterday one of my closest advisors decided to pledge his allegiance to someone else. Ow! It came totally out of the blue, really.

I’ve had problems with campaign workers all along, but this latest one takes the cake. What kind of person accepts a leadership role in support of a candidate and then abandons her just before the finish line? Whether you like me or not, you have to admit that’s pretty low. And you also have to admit that the kind of miserable cretin who would betray someone that way also happens to be the exactly the kind of person I would hire for an important job in a crucial state. Just like some of the other not-loyalists I hired in New Hampshire. Never knew any of them, really. I just went with my feelings, which I think are much more important than facts. It makes you wonder what sort of cabinet I would put together if I actually got elected. The implications are pretty dark. Lately I’ve been telling people that I’m just like Margaret Thatcher, but more and more I’ve been feeling like Blanche DuBois. I do so rely on the kindness of strangers, and those strangers have been unusually cruel.

Dr. Babooner, why am I drawn to people who aren’t good to me? I’m wondering if I’m just too nice, or if I give people too much credit, or if I simply love too quickly. I can’t decide. Please tell me – Which of my positive traits makes me vulnerable to disasters like this?

Sincerely,
Mrs. B.

There’s yet another possibility – that something about your personality attracts insincere opportunists who will exploit a situation as fully as possible and then move on without remorse, always looking for the next chance to benefit somehow by getting people all riled up and irrational. I don’t think it’s about being too nice or too loving – can you ever be TOO either one of those things? But maybe you could benefit by choosing your friends more carefully, or by asking yourself if your style has a special appeal for phonies and backstabbers.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

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61 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Good morning to all. Mrs. B, I think Dale is right on the mark with regard to your situaltion. Still, some how you do have supporters. I think you did win several elections in your home state. You must have some appeal. What is it? Are there people who see a person who seems not to be able to avoid working with backstabbers and phonies as a good person to serve as their elected official?

    Dale, it has been great participating in this blog during the first 500 postings. Many thanks to you for creating and hosting this blog.

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  2. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    500. I did not know. I am off to Iowa this a.m. for our delayed family Christmas. But I must say Congrats and Thank you Dale for all the fun. And to the other Baboons, as well.

    Meanwhile, Mrs. B, as ever, you leave me speechless. I think other people treat you like you treat them. With a certain heartless opportunism. Nuff said.

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  3. Congratulations, Dale, on reaching the 500-blog mark. It says something about you and all the baboons that this daily scribbling continues to delight, entertain and, sometimes, even enlighten; a fun way to start each day.

    To you, dear Mrs. B., what can I say? It’s laughable that you should compare yourself to Margaret Thatcher, a woman who has actually accomplished something, like her politics or not. I might add, that I think you’re way off the mark with Blanche DuBois as well. That said, I wish I could muster enough sympathy for your situation to actually care. Why don’t you just pack your bags and save us all the embarrassment that your candidacy is to the State of Minnesota and women everywhere.

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    1. Hear hear (to that last bit). I’d like to go a few years without having to explain the elected officials from this state. Can we get Wellstone, Humphrey and maybe even Mondale back?

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  4. which of your positive traits makes you vulnerable to attacks like this?
    the trait that has the world rewritten to fit your means. it doesn’t matter if there are people involved or not. if the numbers can be arranged in a way to make them line ip like little soldiers for your speechwriters then the consequences for those who get in the way are incidetal. but keep that milatary stong and add to defese spending because thats how we stay storng. i think fox will have an answer to these questions and bill o’reilly and rush limbaugh will be able to help you with the deep thinking required to make sense in this world. there is a sense of relief to know that it can all be explained by the correct manipulation of the facts. the other great news is that ron paul now has a guy who can follow a true patriot whacko without wondering if he is sincere. if he came form your team we know he is sincere. the fact that people disappoint you is just part of the package mrs. b how many times have you said to yourself homosexuals, taxes, global warming these are issues i can lead people on. well i think you should do it and never mind that the person leading your followers is leading them in a different direction. i think he has learned from you how to lead. the only thing worse than a leader who doesnt have any followers is one who doesnt have any ideas to pontificate on for te people who left. i have confidence you will never let this stop you mrs. b . no one will ever be able to say you didn’t write a book and get it out in time for all your followers to put in the christmas stocking. it is fun to see your face where sarah palins was just a short while back. too bad the book didn’t sell it sure is cool to see it in bookstores isnt it? are you planing on getting a show on fox where your greatest assets can be truely showcased? you can have a whole group of people make up facts and numbers to quote and they can run it over and over and make it true. i think you have a strong future in front of you mrs. b keep up the good work. dont let those homosexual planet warming rich guy hating radicals get to you. you are the man. you are the man.

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  5. Mrs. B – I agree with our Dale, you should think long and hard about the implications of these staff defections. If you should (heaven forbid) win the election, do we have to worry about your cabinet members defecting to North Korea, perhaps taking our deepest darkest secrets with them, as well as a few codes and cyphers best retained here. Hmmm…perhaps if you don’t get the nod, you might fare better in that very exclusionary, ahem, exclusive country where the population is more compliant and fearful. They’d probably love love love you there. I hear they have a newly ascended leader – dollars to donuts he could use your brand of folksy common sense as he learns his new job (and the staff could learn a thing or two as well about backstabbing and defections).

    Congratulations Dale and all on post #500 – it’s been an absolute treat!

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  6. Morning all.

    Not to belabor the point, but WAY TO GO DALE!

    I was thinking about the blog and my “blog friends” (as I refer to you all) over the holidays; it’s the most amazing thing to have discovered, via this trail, a group of friends who are kind, considerate, well-read, well-spoken, funny. This is the only blog that I take part it – mostly because it’s the only place I’ve found where the participants are not mean and horrible to each other under the guise of anonymous authorship. This fact, plus the fact that we’ve expanded our friendships outside our daily writings says quite a bit about our founder. Thanks Dale for what I consider the truly remarkable gift you have given me!

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  7. I can’t find it now, but somewhere on yesterday’s news (All Things Considered?) I heard an interview with some guy who thinks Mrs. B would be the answer to all his concerns. I continue to be flabergasted by these folks, and just hope and pray there aren’t that many of them.

    Thanks for letting us know we’ve gotten to 500, Dale! I thank you especially now that you also have a full time job to keep up with in addition to us (!). I encourage all Babooners, even if you may not think you have a guest blog in you, to rethink that. If you’ve been blogging for long, you know that ANY topic will do for a jumping off point, and our Baboons will take it from there.

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    1. I echo the sentiments of BiR and Barb in Blackhoof, Anna, Plainjane, Jim and Verily Sherrilee and, well, everyone! Especially the point about guest posts, which have kept us afloat for at least the last six months. Thanks Go To The Entire Congress of Baboons. 500 is a milestone we reached together!

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  8. 500–look what you can do if you don’t put your mind to it.
    Somewhere off in the distance I hear my mother’s voice: “Think of what you could have accomplished if you had used that time constructively.”

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    1. I think you are on to something, Clyde. Babooners make good use of their time even thought it might appear that they are not being constructive. So I think you are right when you say, “look what you can do if you don’t put your mind to it”. Maybe you could call some of the efforts of the Babooners non-constructive accomplishments, but the accomplishments are actually constructive from a Babooner point of view.

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      1. i used to and honestly still do get flack for being interested in such a varied bunch of stuff. i have always been a mile wide and an inch deep. i get deeper here and there when there is an interest that requires actual knowledge but why bother unless it is absolutely necessary . constructive use of time is overated. those people who spend their time wisely are no one who ever have time for a cup of coffee and a conversation. we don’t roll that way hereon the blog. 500 has come and gone so quickly i would bet we will see 1000 and then 5000 in short order and before you know it a year and a hlf will have turned to 15 and we will all be old. ill bet dale will still be the blogmaster with the mostest 15 years later and i hope to be a part and to share it all with you tomorrow and 1000 blogs form tomorrow. thanks for all the smiles and warmth. the commendatory and support. we are a nice group aren’t we. baboons ho

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  9. I guess I should be thankful that ND politicians are so dull and lack flamboyance. Mrs. B would not do too well here.

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      1. Daughter’s Suzuki School played at the lighting of the State Christmas Tree. Boy, was Dalrymple boring. His people were Bonanza farmers in the RR valley. Conrad is a good, solid guy. No flash but lots of substance and fortitude.

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  10. Mrs. B.,
    No one could accuse you of being inconsistent. You’ve stayed the same since your early days in the land of not-so-niceness. Everyone knows by now what they’re getting with you. Those who have been closest to you must know that better than anyone else. It’s interesting to the rest of us that your followers seem to abandon ship the way that passengers left the Titanic in favor of icy waters. Maybe you should consider following your followers. Your highly developed ability to “feel” how things are going should indicate to you just how people perceive you. Anyway, thanks for providing fodder for us on the Trail.

    Dr. Babooner

    500! Thanks so much, Dale. It’s been so much fun to be here with the rest of you, and it’s been a privilege to call all of you my friends.

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  11. Follow-up from yesterday: the woman who fell did break her hip, and is far from “alone, I’m all alone” as she said. She has a son here in town, a niece, several adult grandchildren around. Whether she will be back here is to be determined.

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  12. OT – Just have to tell you. I’ve just finished reading an extraordinary memoir: “Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness” by Alexandra Fuller. Fuller, a richly gifted writer, looks back on her English family’s life in Africa at the tail end of colonialism. Can’t recommend it enough, it’s wonderful.

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    1. OOOoooh — good to know. I’ve had this title On Request from the library for a bit and I’m finally up to #2 in line! Have you read any of her other books (Don’t Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight, Scribbling the Cat, Legend of Colton H Bryant)? I have enjoyed all of them, although “Don’t Lets Go” is my favorite so far.

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      1. Steve – I would enjoy reading John Lithgow’s book if no one else has dibs on it yet. I’ve always found him to be a fascinating actor and it would be fun to read his book. I just finished “Richard Burton – A Life” by Melvyn Bragg. — a long, but fascinating biography of the great actor if anyone would like that book.

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    2. Coincidence here: I too am reading a travel/adventure book by a simply wonderful English woman writer. “A Lady’s Life in the Rocky Mountains” by Isabella L. Bird. Sparkling descriptions of Central Colorado in the 1870′s by a gutsy funny, independent, woman, whom history has sadly ignored. This book covers only a brief part of an amazing life. Amazing life. You will have to dig a little online to learn about here, Check out several biographies to get her full life.

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  13. 500 posts–especially posts of the quality that prevails here–is a wonderful accomplishment, Dale. Congratulations. There was a time when I couldn’t stand the thought of life without TLGMS, and now I feel that way about TB. Thanks!

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  14. It’s beyond coincidence that the Roman numeral for 500 is D. I can hardly wait to celebrate the 600th blog with DC.

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  15. Thanks to Dale and all the contributing Baboons for a place that feels like home even to a lurker. The last 6 months have been hectic but I hope to be able to peek out of lurkdom more often in 2012.

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    1. anytime caroline. nice to know you are out there. let us know when you are around. even if you don’t have much to say. heck if we all waited until we have something to say there would be a lot less posting around here

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  16. I have no advice for Mrs. B except “if you’re going to whine so much, why don’t you just take your toys and go home?”

    Concerning the auspiciousness of blog post #500 – way to go, Dale! and thanks so much for somehow gathering this community together. As a relative newcomer, I was amazed at how welcoming these Baboons are and several months later, I’m still blown away with the friendliness and warmth I find here (even if tim does think I’m a criminal).

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    1. Tim thinks I am elitist since I have an obsession with having matching soup spoons, but I think he can forgive me for it. Elitist is probably more objectinable than criminal.

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      1. anyone who has a full full service for 12 with bone china, sterling silver and soup tureens and gravy boats and napkin rings is likely to be a christmas cookie fiend and someone who is needed to bring confluence to any blog. i and all the baboons value your presence in the blog renee. but i do have a question for you… do they really have a tree in the north dakota capitol for christmas? i would think theyd just string lights on a telephone pole. its a shame to cut down one of the 3 or 4 trees in the state to satisfy the state desire to celebrate a religious holiday. what do they do for rosh hashana?

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      2. Out of concern for our limited number of trees, the ND state Christmas tree came from Montana (or somewhere out west where there actually are very tall trees) For the first time ever, they lit a menorah on the Capitol grounds at the start of Hanukkah. Why this year I have no idea. It was lit by two rabbis from New york. I don’t own a single napkin ring by the way, and my flatware is stainless steel. I confess to possession of a soup tureen and two gravy boats.

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    2. i’m glad they released you on your own recognizance. i think you have proven your self to be ready to rejoin society after you finish your community service

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      1. If, as the recipe says, you can’t taste the sauerkraut, then why would you think you need to add sauerkraut to the recipe. But I have to admit, I’m printing this out and may have to check it out.

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  17. #500 wow! Congratulations! to all. So glad to have found a little piece of TLGMS. It keeps the gentle tone and humor alive.

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