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Complainasaurus Rex

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Now some scientists say dinosaurs were already in decline when their extinction meteor hit.

The common belief is that Earth’s collision with a massive space chunk is responsible for the disappearance of big scaly beasts 65 million years ago. But this notion could be modified by new research which indicates certain varieties of dinosaur were already on the way out when a surprise astro-calamity hastened their demise.

How do we know this? Scientists have their reasons, all very scientific of course. I’m sure they used fancy formulas and brainy calculations, assessing some collection of small details about dietary differences and adaptability. That’s science for you – using undisputed fact to deduce the truth.

Me? I’m a journalist, so I try to turn complicated truths into easy-to-digest over simplifications. As for proof, all I need is another writer to say it. I figure if things were going bad for the dinosaurs, some cranky columnist would have scrawled a whiney op-ed about it.

“Best Days Are Behind Us”
By Sara Topsid

I’ve got this friend Barney who is a duck billed hadrosaur. We both been around a long time and we get along great. We spend a lot of time down by the bog talking, which naturally leads to complaining.

One thing we agree on is that, as a species our best days are behind us.

I know this is hard to hear, but all around me I see signs of decline! For example, a lot of the young dinos now are going in big time for bio-diversity. All kinds of shapes and sizes of dinosaurs are suddenly “acceptable” and have to be “honored”.

Says who? Even their weird dietary habits are supposed to be supported and respected. Like eating different stuff is some kind of a good thing?
Give me a break!

When I was young, all the dinos I knew were herbivores. We all ate plants in large bites, and I still do! Not a lot of sampling and testing and experimenting allowed – you eat what your ancestors ate and don’t ask questions. It was good enough for me and I grew up fine. Plants are plentiful. My neighbors are decent and they all eat plants. Why mess with a good thing?

Now I’m seeing all these smartass young meat eaters hanging around street corners and pushing their omnivore agenda like it’s a normal way to live. Sorry, flesh rippers, but in my book a legitimate meal has always been one dino, and one leafy green plant. No exceptions.

Leafy greens are good for the constitution. Maybe we should make it a rule that everybody has to be the same when it comes to … Hey! What’s that bright thing in the sky?

What (or who) is ruining everything?

105 thoughts on “Complainasaurus Rex”

  1. Morning all. Very funny, Dale! Of course the answer is “them”. It’s always “them”!

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  2. My boss went to Massachusetts a couple of summers ago and attended to a jazz concert at Tanglewood and heard some pretty famous Bebop musicians. Although she prides herself on her musical sophistication, she obviously had never really been exposed to that sort of improvisation and absolutely hated the concert. She told me “what a way to ruin a good tune!” I drove her crazy by playing Ornette Coleman discs on my office computer. She was not amused.

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    1. Renne, when I was younger I was a big jazz fan and I remember when some of the jazz critics thought that Ornette Coleman was ruining jazz. Now I think he generally considered to be one of the greatest jazz musicans.

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  4. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    My List is as follows:
    !Rush Limbaugh
    !Christian Evangelicals (of whom my sister is one, but I give her a break because she does not try to convert me)
    !The former Exec Director of Chrysalis who ruined a wonderful place to advance her own career
    !George W. Bush
    !Dick Cheney/Darth Vader who has recently proved that he really is heartless

    I am sure I could think of more, but I must get going. If I have a minute to check in later I’ll add more to the list

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  5. Fluoridation, the designated hitter, imported French beef, 1970’s rock and roll, “I hate that letter E,” American Idol, Drew Carey, Blame Canada, all those cable channels and still nothing to watch, Starbucks, right turn on red, WordPress because Catherine is no longer on the blog.
    But most of all the Indians lack of an sound immigration policy.

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      1. Who were here long before the 99.9% rest of us came over on the boat without permission or any vetting whatsoever. How many of us would have made the cut?

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        2. 🙂 Don’t be so sure, Clyde. My people are your people — teachers, ministers, farmers, writers, musicians — somehow, some way, most of them landed on their feet. We are the 99%!

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    2. I’ve been missing madislandgirl too – are you able to lurk, Catherine? I’ll email you.

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      2. My theory that somehow a user account on the BBC site was causing the conflict for MIG/Catherine is not a sound theory…pooh. I haven’t set her up as a user associated with the BBC site it seems. Was hoping that might be the cause and I could fix it. Pooh.

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      3. I wonder if Catherine could solve her problems with using Word Press by updating her internet browzer. I updated the browzer I use, Internet Explorer, from version 6 to version 8 and that solved the problems I was having here with the performance of Word Press.

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    3. Good Morning all,
      Yesterday, in South Mpls, there was the kick-off American Indian Month.
      Words on a hoodie:
      front: got land?
      back: Thank an Indian

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  6. Good morning. Well, of course, it is the 1 percent. I think that is a good answer, but I don’t want to dwell too much on the greedy extremely rich people who don’t seem to care about anything other than wealth and power. I think VS has one of the best answers, it is them. You know, everyone is crazy, except you and me and I’m not sure about you. I think we would say that Babooners are not the ones ruining everything or at least not most of us. Be careful, there might be some infiltrators that could be leading us down a bad path. We already know that Edith has a criminal record.

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    1. Yes, and my answer would have to be the people who caught me in my crime and my jailers. My life of crime was ruined by those people.

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      1. I think I could see the faint traces of a number on that shirt you are wearing in the group photo from Sunday. I assume it counted as community service time.

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      2. Okay, Edith. If your life of crime has been ruined, I will assume that no one has turned you into an infiltrator who is secretly working againest us.

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        1. Not a chance of that, Jim. I have a wonderful photo of Edith from this weekend, two hands clapped tightly to her mouth. I call the photo “Speak No Evil.” She is no snitch.

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      3. Edith, You’re an urban legend now so go ahead, rise above those petty bureaucrats and claim your place in history. Write a book. Clyde can mentor you.

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  7. I’m with Jim about the greedy, they’ve been behind so much of what is wrong. Decisions where more money is the guiding principle are responsible for much of the environmental polution (Husband is reading a book called Plastic about that mess in the Pacific Ocean… Will think more about this today.

    Love “Sara Topsid”, Dale, and also yesterday I meant to “Like” Bubby’s coining of the phrase “May NOT Day”…

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    1. Oy…just scrolled back through…*my* way (not “might” way…that would be the problem – too many “might makes right” folks…but really it’s all those narrow minded, conservative, greedy people who can’t see that my own narrow minded, liberal, socialist tendencies are the better way to go…).

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  9. The Proctonosticators- those who make assertions, predictions and decisions based on information they’ve just pulled out of their butt. That includes:
    Rush and his ilk,
    MB,
    Newt,
    Fox News,
    pretty much the entire Republican Party,
    Archbishop Nienstedt,
    the NRA,
    MCCL,
    the Koch brothers,
    and those neo No-Nothings, the Tea Party.
    I could go on…

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    1. Breaking news, Bill. In a few hours the Republican presidential contest will be lighter by one Newt. He is about to make a speech saying so. You know, about a week ago a penguin bit him while he was campaigning. I expect Newt to say to America today, “Y’know, when you lose penguins, you have lost America.”

      Oh, and Bill, Kathe says “Hi!” to you from Belgium. She remembers you as a nice guy, and I didn’t correct her on that!

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        2. For me, the preparation for the colonoscopy was more bothersome than the procedure itself. Individual mileage may vary, I guess.

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  10. I’m in a rocky mood today from having watched a fabulous but dismaying two-hour PBS “Frontline” show last night. Clearly, it is bankers who are ruining everything. They just about took down the whole world economy and now are preparing to do it again. One of the most depressing things I’ve ever seen.

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    2. The activities of those big banks is depressing, Steve, but it is good to know about them. I thought I would avoid the big banks by working with a more local bank and then they turned my mortgage over to one of those big banks. I guess one of the many papers I had to sign and didn’t have time to read gave them the right to do that.

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      1. Norwest chased me through 3 smaller banks. After I joined a credit union, I sighed in relief at having escaped. Then, they bought my mortgage!!!

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  12. The ones ruining the world are those who are trying to manipulate the circumstances to make their current circumstances work out better. It has always been so but it used to be a well kept secret that only carnage james j hill the rockefellers and the chosen few were aware of they knew they were treading where they didn’t deserve to be and you got the feeling they kind of looked out for us. Dayton’s and the big money folks looked after the arts and foundations to create better lives for all the little people. Wall street and the republican 1% are the me me me show. Like spoiled playground bullies who terrorize because they are so much bigger and feel no remorse for bloodying the little people’s noses, the power of the media to raise one voice and silence another is disarming. Back later. Off to battle the biz wars for yet another day to keep America free for one and all

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  13. I’m surprised you have to ask, Dale. Sherilee is right, it is “them.” They’ve always ruined everything and they’ll keep on doing it. We need more penguins.

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  14. Electronic devices, FB, YouTube, video games, etc. that reduce attention spans to a millisecond.
    As the attention span shrinks, the wasted time grows exponentially.
    Not holier-than-thou, here. I’m one of the addicts and time-wasters.

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      1. Not sure what part is unintelligible but now that I re-read it, the relationship between short attention span and time wasting doesn’t make sense.
        I should have kept them separate: Two things that ruin everything are short attention spans and time spent on trivial stuff.

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        1. I think Clyde was trying to be funny there…maybe indicating his attention span is too short to follow your long paragraph.

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        3. She said, “I am not a crook!” while waving her fingers on both sides of her face!

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        4. It occurs to me that now that Edith’s face is out there in the public domain, she may need some kind of new nefarious disguise. Of course, the public’s notoriously short attention span and devotion to trivia could work in her favor.

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  15. Heeehehehe, ya got this Ozazk Farm Chick cryin’ and tea squirtin’ out my nose here. Man, you are a riot and an half, for sure!!!

    Thakns for your hospitality…the visit was delightful.

    God bless ya’ll from the happy hills and hollers of the magnificent Missouri Ponderosa!

    Have a fantastic day!!! :o)

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    2. Nezzy, new voice on the trail? Welcome; be sure to come back. There’s no tellin’ what we’ll discuss next, and new perspectives are always welcome. We could use a little down home hollerin’.

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    3. Nezzy, if you’re already snorting tea from laughing here, you’re one of us. Click on Glossary at top and find “Snort”…

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  16. I think it’s the drunken sheiks….

    OK, a random comment from out of the blue. What do you call the misheard word? My wife mentioned the musician ‘Duncan Sheik’ and our friend thought she said Drunken Sheik… so that’s who we’re blaming for everything today.

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      3. Good one, Nan, I looked it up and got waylaid for a good half hour laughing all the way. Never heard that word before. 🙂 It’s in my little book now.

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        1. I think I heard it from Dale and Jim Ed; I seem to recall a funny morning bit. It is the kind of word I couldn’t forget. And once I understood it—surprising how often I hear and use it. I bet that will happen for you—with any luck

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  21. I’m all clear here. Now for Holly to be fine, and my former fine student and colleague Lisa, in Northfield.

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    2. Really H of N, your depth and breadth of knowlege about pop music over the years is astounding.

      Have you ever heard thewords to the Bonanza theme song? They are pretty funny pardner. They were featured in one of the first episodes. I also amthe proud own of the Bonanza family Christmas Album in which Pa talk/sings Silent Night at the Barn Dance. Yeh Howdy, I am.

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  25. We got preachers dealing in politics and diamond mines
    and their speech is growing increasingly unkind
    They say they are Christ’s disciples
    but they don’t look like Jesus to me
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    We got politicians running races on corporate cash
    Now don’t tell me they don’t turn around and kiss them peoples’ ass
    You may call me old-fashioned
    but that don’t fit my picture of a true democracy
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    We got CEO’s making two hundred times the workers’ pay
    but they’ll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage
    and If you don’t like it, mister, they’ll ship your job
    to some third-world country ‘cross the sea
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    Living in the wasteland of the free
    where the poor have now become the enemy
    Let’s blame our troubles on the weak ones
    Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
    Living in the wasteland of the free

    We got little kids with guns fighting inner city wars
    So what do we do, we put these little kids behind prison doors
    and we call ourselves the advanced civilization
    that sounds like crap to me
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    We got high-school kids running ’round in Calvin Klein and Guess
    who cannot pass a sixth-grade reading test
    but if you ask them, they can tell you
    the name of every crotch on mTV
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    We kill for oil, then we throw a party when we win
    Some guy refuses to fight, and we call that the sin
    but he’s standing up for what he believes in
    and that seems pretty damned American to me
    and it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free

    Living in the wasteland of the free
    where the poor have now become the enemy
    Let’s blame our troubles on the weak ones
    Sounds like some kind of Hitler remedy
    Living in the wasteland of the free

    While we sit gloating in our greatness
    justice is sinking to the bottom of the sea
    Living in the wasteland of the free
    Living in the wasteland of the free
    Living in the wasteland of the free

    – Iris Dement

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      1. Very good, Linda. Iris is one of my favorites and that one has to be one her best ones which is unknow to me. I’m glad it slipped by the WordPress screening for “intemperate”.

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  26. Our part-time, seasonal laborer is also a farmer near Morristown. They had crop damage as well as damage to one of their rental houses in Morristown last night. It makes me feel guilty for complaining about damage to my hostas. (But you should see them – they’re ripped to shreds.)

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    2. That’s a bummer, Krista, since they don’t come back very well. They won’t die altogether which is good, but this year might be sparse. You didn’t have hail, did you? Was it just rain and wind?

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      1. We had nickel and dime-sized hail with some larger aggregate clumps that were bigger than a golf ball. It came down for a good 10 minutes like that, then it poured hail. The ground was white in some places and it was still there for about an hour. There was a lot of hail here and a tornado warning.

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