todays guest post comes from tim
june 6 is the day i became a dad.
1987 a little guy popped into the world and forever changed my life. his routine became my routine, his reactions to stuff i did positive and negative became the criteria i used for going forward on this planet. he wanted to do it his way. we did it his way. he wanted a vote. we gave him a vote. he reacted to the song on the radio or my guitar or in the car we filed it away for future reference. he was full of weird stuff , phobias and needy stuff little kids bring along and I didn’t know how to recognize or deal with it very well. his mom had it timed so she could have the kid, take a 6 week summer break and then head back to life as a school counselor . i inherited the details. morning bath time with little potato, dancing with bears and other memorable morning tunes affected his life to the point that when he went to the daycare he would choose the raffi or peter paul and mommy music selection to guide the group. we went out to visit my sister in california when he was 2 and i remember him being in love with the joni mitchell blue album and the rolling stones with ruby tuesday on it.
i can still hear his: good bye ruby tuesday, who could hang a name on you , when you change with every new day still im going to miss you…. in the most perfect 2 year old presentation ever witnessed.
well tara came along about that time, mom had broken her leg month 8 of the pregnancy and the planned march birth that would give her the 6 weeks, stick your head back in to school and then take the summer off plan was a challenge with a needy one and a couple of kids too.i officed out of my house and the daily stuff was a challenge.
wife one had my job description altered and i was out the door. half time with the kids everything was fine til i got involved in another relationship. the x didn’t like my taking my affections elsewhere after dumping me. the new babe and I had an interesting first 2 ½ kids and ten years later we were married.
first kid with her is my son spencer is now 19 at st thomas and nice young man, olivia is 13 going into 8th grade, emma is 11 and going into 6th grade and i am all done having children with this wife. we checked into adopting haitian orphans a while back and were told we are too old. they may be right. the old bones are cricking and cracking these days and the stair steps are like an obstacle course some days.
devin is heading off to california later this month to follow his dream. he has a room with a buddy in the a capella biz and will take a run at rock star ism. wish him luck, he could do it. here is a clip of his college stuff.
i get miffed that there are no traces of the other things he has done and i can blame myself for not being as camera ready as i should have could have been . i have a great memory and at times I think it is even a more convenient method of getting it to come out right than having to rely on accurate portrayals.
one more with his a capella gang:
daughter is off to the wedding planner to finish up the wedding in july august to the foreigner from kosovo. moving into her first suburban apartment with the hubby to be. she is a multi tasking maniac who has a huge heart and a nice perspective on the world. she did a good job of picking out the good and learning from the other how to put your life priorities in a row.
middle kid, first in second marriage, actually first 10 years before second marriage is enjoying summer with his buddies home from school. washing windows and with a house to party on the weekends at down in the college area of st paul he is enjoying the first bennies of adulthood. wish him luck
the 8th grader is writer, actor, neat kid who sings piano and oboes her way along and is as nice a person as is possible in a volatile house like she comes from. she will find a way to make it work i am confident.
6 grader is a pistol. keeps me hopping and the idea that in another 5 or 6 years i will be sending her out the door is enough to make me realize the circle of life is a reality. my dad always said i hope you get one like you just to pay you back. oh he laughed and said you have a whole house of little yous, I didn’t know that was possible.
my kids all understand and partially inherit through osmosis my love of art and music and plants and cooking, chatting with strangers in the checkout line and on elevators, screwing around in general and a love of drink and cigars, a well spun phrase and a good hat, cards with friends and an opinion on the topic at hand.
life can be simple. put it all in perspective and realize its not a test run this is the real deal and kids are like pancakes. the first two are just for practice.
whats your favorite life lesson?