Songs, Uncategorized

The Foggy Foggy Dew

125 Comments

Today is the birthday of Burl Ives, the round, bearded, pipe-smoking, banjo-playing folk singer immortalized in claymation as a balladeer for the 1960’s TV special “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” He was also blacklisted in the 50’s and snubbed for a time afterwards for keeping his career going by testifying before the House Un-American Activities Committee.

My favorite thing about Burl Ives is that he was an itinerant folk singer during the Depression, and got arrested in Utah for singing the song “Foggy Foggy Dew” in public on the grounds that it was a bawdy song. This, in spite of the fact that no one could pin down exactly what the term “Foggy Foggy Dew” meant. Some suggestions – Tuberculosis, Virginity, Being Sent to a Nunnery, and of course, Bad Weather.

This is an infectious little tune and there are multiple versions. It is uncommonly friendly to finagling via the folk process. So in keeping with our Theme of the Week, I’ll adapt it to fit one of the more arduous tasks of my youth.

When I was a juvenile I lived with my folks
And a hungry St. Bernard.
And the only, only thing that I sang was this song
As I walked around the yard.
I walked there in the wintertime
And in the summer too.
And the only, only thing that I did all day long
Was to pick up all the Doggy Doggy Doo

One night the hound came too my rooms
Her whimpers left no doubt.
She’d stolen a whole box of prunes
And needed to go out.
She yipped, she skipped, she nearly flipped
So what else could I do?
I leapt out of the sack and I let her go out back
And she filled it up with Doggy Doggy Doo.

Now I’m older than I was and I live with my son
And a different St. Bernard.
And every single time that the dog is in the house
The kitchen has a cupboard guard.
We lock it up in wintertime
And in the summer too
And all the fibered food is protected by alarms
Just to cut down on that Doggy Doggy Doo

What chore do you despise most?

125 thoughts on “The Foggy Foggy Dew”

  1. In keeping with this week’s theme—
    Since I was a child I hated exercise
    Never liked to sweat and strain
    And the only, only thing that I did was to think
    As I exercised my brain
    I thought hard in the wintertime
    And in the summer too.
    And the only, only thing that I did all day long
    Was to think more than others Do

    One night a runner came to my rooms
    Her sneakers left no doubt.
    She wanted me to exercise with her
    And insisted I come out
    Around her neck she wore a star
    So what else could I do?
    I leapt out of the sack followed her out back
    And ran with the Joggy Joggy Jew.

    Now I’ am old and live in Miami
    . With a wall of trophies too
    And every single time that the sun comes up
    I slip on my Nikes, blue
    I run in wintertime
    And in the summer too
    I am cardiovascularly fit
    All thanks to that that Joggy Joggy Jew

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    1. Apparently B-A, you have been hiding your great gift for poetry and parody. Nicely done. When I answer a question, all you get is an answer. B-A, when you answer a question an entire poem merges. Wow.

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    4. Oh man, you guys are too much. 🙂 I should have seen Doggy Doggy Dew coming, but I don’t think I could have predicted Joggy Joggy Jew, B-A!

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  2. Good morning. I do the doggy do pickup, but don’t mind that too much. What I really don’t like my job as cleaning lady or in my case cleaning dude. I do my best to do my duty with the vacuum and dust mop, but I would rather do just about anything else including picking up after the dog.

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  4. I had to grin at Dale’s opening song. We had a Saint Bernard, Bobo, who got so big we had to give him away to folks on a farm. While he was still with us, puppy Bobo ate all the crayons in one of those two-pound Folgers coffee cans. Bobo’s Doggy Doo Doo after that indiscretion was somewhere between bear shit and Jackson Pollock, but man it was colorful.

    Here’s to you, Bobo, old pal. I’m sorry we had to give up on you. A dog your size needs a few Alps to grow up on, not some sleepy little small town street.

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    2. We had a similar experience with our dog some years ago, Steve, only the ingested colorful substance was Play-Doh. Dog walks were fun for the whole family that week!

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      1. My daughter’s Rottweiler, Tank, once ate a Van Halen cassette tape. We didn’t know it until I spotted the dog running around the yard with a black strip coming out of his ass. The vet advised us to not step on the extruding tape, saying that if the dog kept running, the tape could cut up his intestines.

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  5. I really hate cleaning out the dryer vent, as ours goes almost all the way through the house from front to back, and I have to jerryrig extensions for the flexible brush to make it long enough to clean the whole vent. It also means I have to disconnect the dryer from the vent, and it isn’t as easy as it used to be for me to squeeze in back of the dryer to do that.

    Our first Welsh Terrier loved popping and eating balloons as well as crayons, and her droppings got pretty colorful, too.

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  6. Unpleasant chores? Near the top of that list would be digging the crud out of my rain gutters.

    Also near the top would be scrubbing toilets. I’ve just discovered that brand new toilets flush better and are so smooth they are virtually self-cleaning. I’ve got two brand new toilets now (named Toilet Number One and Toilet Number Two). If they start getting dirty, I’ll just replace them again.

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    1. When I added a second bathroom to our house, I was a little worried that the reduced water capacity toilets wouldn’t flush as well. That turns out not to be the case. The new one is very efficient, with a surprisingly quick flush and refill cycle. The manufacturer chose to name this particular model “The Diplomat”. How could I resist?

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    2. To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:
      Whether ’tis nobler on the bottom to suffer
      The slings and arrows of outrageous potties
      Or to take TP against a lack of supplies,
      And with preparations have a clean end: to pooh, to fart
      at will, and by a pooh, to clean our end…

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        2. You could put it in your outhouse by the cabin seeing as you don’t have a chandelier. You’ve got to do something to add a little class.

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    3. Sorry about that, folks…didn’t mean to lower the dignity of the Trail with my bathroom musings the other day! Having said that, some of this stuff y’all are coming up with is darn funny. 🙂

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  8. the day begins and up i get and brain i do engage
    a bunch of baboons i do spy most of an advanced age
    some show up daily early
    some show up daily late
    but most show up often enough
    to fill my daily plate

    the topic has a story with it that we all enjoy
    the post has misdirection with a last line to employ
    some will respond cleaverly
    some will just reply
    the baboons daily find a way
    to keep the blog alive

    i hate to get the news its time to move on with the day
    id like to sit in bed or bath and blog the day away
    i like to answer quickly
    or with a deeper thought
    but most of all i like to leak
    creative juices that ive got

    the blogs a lovely vehicle to get the practice daily writing
    it offers time and audience of friends who’re inviting
    to blog about the topic
    to blog about the day
    with baboons all extraordinaire
    is a lovely lovely way

    i have many things i hate to do in life this time around
    things on my to do list long weigh at least 600 pounds
    but the blog it is a feather
    a soft butterfly kiss
    ill get to those things i despise
    but my blog friends i wont miss

    i wake up in the morning and do seek the baboon blog

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  9. Windows. And bill paying. My windows are in appalling shape and are in desperate need of a scrub. The house came with perfectly awful aluminum windows – the combination windows that are impossible to take apart and clean. I am keeping an eye out for a good Groupon (or something similar) for window cleaning so I can pay someone else to deal with it…’course that gets me back to having to pay another bill, but that at least I can do at 11pm in my jammies…

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  10. Morning–

    Refilling the water reservoir on the piano ‘damp chaser’ system is a tedious chore. And I have two of them; one at home and one at the college. Man, if I could just rig up a 55 gallon barrel to the piano.
    And raking hay. (Turning it over to dry.) It’s about the most tedious job in the world… I’d bring out city friends and let them rake hay so I could avoid it.

    My sister would tell you when she was growing up it was collecting eggs she hated because the chickens would peck at her.
    At the moment I have four hens that are ‘sitting’. They just get it in their heads and decide they want to be moms. There’s a brown one that will peck your arm off. And she bites, too. There’s a black one that will shoot out of her box, wings down, making circles around – and over – you. She even scares my dog. And then two other black ones that just sit there; I just reach under them, roll them over, gather the eggs and they settle back down again. One is sitting on a fake plastic egg. I almost feel sorry for her…

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    1. There are a boatload of memories there. Fake eggs in my childhood were made of wood. Like you I spent my childhood driving in ever0tightening circles. I do not really mind chores. I think all those hours of dull tractor-driving taught me to just put my mind somewhere else and get them done.
      Cleaver poetry today.

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      1. I have photographs of me mowing hay at ten years old. I look at my nine-year-old grand daughter and try to picture her on a tractor next summer.

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    1. I’ll talk to (forgetful) Husband and figure out if we actually have money in the budget for my little pipe dream of clean windows – good to know there is a resource ready to hand. 😀

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  13. Cleaning blinds and dealing with paperwork and paperjunk.

    I’ve eliminated the former by getting rid of each set of blinds as my windows were replaced. Of course now my house is a fishbowl but no more blind cleaning.

    Paperwork never ends. Bills to be paid and credit card bills to reconcile are pretty clear but what about that interesting newspaper article that was clipped, that notice about a play that you might or might not see but could use the reminder, the card that Save The Children suggests that you send to your sponsor child, things you’ve been meaning to mail to your offspring (that they probably don’t want anyway), recipes, FILING.

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    1. My wife has always done the bills/paperwork until now. So I am just starting. It is not yet a chore but rather a mountain to be climbed. Then it will be a chore.

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  14. I think cleaning toilets has to win the prize. Our water softener wasn’t working for a few months, and I need to go in there and “un-rough” all the surfaces, and how about let’s just get a new toilet. Well, two of them.

    Another one would be cleaning off my desk – see Lisa’s last paragraph. If I would do it every day or so there wouldn’t be this great pile…

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  15. I’m beginning to understand why some people never cook. Cleaning the stove afterward is a chore I hate. It’s damn near impossible to get that black, shiny enameled surface to look good again. You can’t use abrasives on the surface or it scratches, and many of the commercial cleaners are too harsh to use as well. So I futz around with boiling water, vinegar, a sponge and whatever else I can think of until I’m satisfied that the surface isn’t crawling with germs, but it still doesn’t look good. Arrgh!

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    2. baking soda is the secret abrasive that doesnt scratch as much. also the simple green kind of product is an amazing cleaner with no abrasive. no cooking. furgetaboutit

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  16. Cleaning floors is my most despised task. I spend a fair amount of time and some considerable bending and back strain getting those floors spiffied up. The cleanliness lasts approximately 32 seconds, thanks to the kid and the dogs. To hell with that for an afternoon’s work, as far as I’m concerned.

    OT – Kid and hubby are back from China, and we will be doing some high-intensity family quality time as soon as they wake up (they got in about 2:30 this morning and are understandably zonked out). Also planning a visit down to see my folks and my sister’s family this weekend, to let them all welcome the intrepid travelers back and to celebrate Father’s Day. So I may not be around the blogosphere until whenever…but I’ll be back as soon as we’re normalized around here!

    Double OT – They had no problems with the Chinese bathrooms – some were nasty but apparently they were well-prepared for any condition and managed to get through the trip with no major potty-related incidents. Just thought I should update y’all, since I know this topic is of endless fascination around here. 😉

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    1. Did they take some good photographs (besides the one bathroom sign you shared with us)?
      I’m glad their trip was good and that you are all back together now. Have a great time reconnecting. We’ll try to keep cleaverness to a minimum so you won’t miss anything. (I guess I can only speak for myself)

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      1. They said that they took a lot of pictures, but we haven’t had time to check them out yet. I may post some on my Flickr page, and if anyone here is interested I can post a link at some point. And don’t hold back on the cleaverness on my account, I will catch up eventually! 🙂

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  17. Oh, and Dale, you are on a roll with the song parodies/adaptations this week! Been enjoying your posts a lot. You’re cracking me up, dude! 🙂

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  18. When I was very young (one of those memories before age 5) we had a 2-record (4 sides) set of Burl Ives folk songs, all about animals (yours for only $35 via Amazon):
    http://www.ecrater.com/p/9407889/burl-ives-animal-fair-songs-for
    I loved every one of those songs. When teaching kdgn. in early 70s I was thrilled to find a lot of them on vinyl, so I could still sing many of them today. I’ve probably mentioned them before; here is one:

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  19. I think I hate all my chores, the one I hate the most is whichever one I’m currently doing.

    Paperwork/paper junk – dislike.I have a new system that really works (seriously, decades of piles are now under control!!!!) but I still do not like it
    Paying bills -dislike.
    Cleaning the bathroom – especially the tub – dislike.
    Cleaning the stove – dislike.
    Deciding what to eat and making a shopping list – so very tired of doing this. I’m thinking of going on strike. Just go to the farmers market, buy what looks good and then cook it. Or not cook it. If it rots in the frig, I can compost it.
    Running errands – dislike. There seems to be so many of them and the lines can be long and slow.

    I do kinda like laundry, especially if I can hang up the laundry outside to dry.

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    1. Open all the windows and doors. Alternatively, smear yourself with peanut butter and run out into the front yard. Perhaps it will follow.

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      1. Tried the peanut butter. That just attracted hordes of middle-aged divorced women whose many issues include a peanut butter fixation. Interesting, but not what I’d intended. Tried closing off the Sun Room, trapping the chickadee in that room. Removed the storm from one window in that room and threw it open. The chickadee took the hint and left

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        3. Poor Steve. You had no idea that smearing yourself with peanut butter would create such problems.

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        7. You probably won’t read this Renee, but I (and for once I’m being serious) can generally tell female from male birds even when the breed doesn’t have different markings. The females just look . . . more female.

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  22. Dang, they’re keeping me too busy at work these days! I miss my down time. I’ve only been able to pop in here to take a quick glance, but looks like the creative juices have really been flowing. Great work, especially on the musical! See ya, the documents are waiting…

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  23. When I was youngster I looked for a trade
    That would pay the bills for me.
    After flunking out of business, engineering and law
    I pursued a medical degree.
    I couldn’t pass the NCLEX
    So I tried physical therapy.
    Now the only only thing that I do all day long
    Is to limber up the gimpy gimpy knee.

    Now I toil for Sister Kenny six days a week
    With those in need of aid.
    Resistance band and treadmill and stationary bike
    Are the tools of my joyless trade.
    I hope my fees are covered by
    Your insurance company.
    Then your only only cost is your copay (and parking)
    For my working on the gimpy gimpy knee.

    (This is dedicated to my very patient and unfailingly cheerful PT.)

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    2. I should emphasize that my PT bears little resemblance to the disgruntled PT in the verse, except that she works for Sister Kenny. She seems to really enjoy being a physical therapist, although I have trouble understanding why – she works very long hours and has to listen to everyone’s complaints all the livelong day. I’m also sure she never flunked out of anything; she’s as smart as a whip.

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  24. TECH HELP: videos do not appear on here or on facebook. It’s just a blank space. Some web cameras just show a blank space too, but not all. This started happening this morning after I downloaded a windows update. Anyone know what is going on?

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    1. It may be that you have something that is not working with your Flash player (the update you did may have conflicted with Flash, or doesn’t work with an older version of the Flash player) – YouTube works primarily in Flash, as do a lot of other web video-related things. If you go to the Adobe site, there is likely a download for the latest Flash player – see if downloading does the trick.

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      2. Sometimes I get the blank spaces if my browser has timed out. Reloading the page solves it if that’s the case.

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  25. Like CG, been too busy today to check in. Funny funny funny!

    I don’t have any knock-down, drag-out chores that I don’t like. However in general I don’t like housework because it’s never ending. You get something done and a couple of days later (or hours in the case of the bathroom I share with the teenager), it needs doing again!

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  26. I dislike greasing the bread pans before baking bread. It’s just a step that I hate doing. It seems like an annoying little messy task that must be done.

    I also dislike almost all house cleaning, especially vacuuming, toilet scrubbing, blind cleaning, shower cleaning, dryer vent cleaning, dusting, and cleaning behind the refrigerator. There is a psychological reason behind this: when I was young my mother made me vacuum eight times, in rows, progressing across the livingroom floor from side to side. I had to move all the furniture too, vacuum under it, then move it back. I had to dust walls, library books, the insides of closet doors. I had to crawl inside of low cabinets Mom couldn’t fit in and make sure the corners were clean and free of spiders. I was familiar with toilet bowl cleaning techniques by the time I was nine. I spent the time cleaning deep in thought about the meaning of cleaning. I began to notice patterns. Things had to be cleaned repeatedly, every so often – once was never enough. There is zen in cleaning, I guess, but there is also zen in countless other activities that have more permanent meaning. The result is that my house doesn’t get cleaned very often. Only when Mom comes over.

    Mom is still really big on cleaning. She says that she has learned to “let go” and she no longer vacuums her own carpet eight times in rows. There are signs when she’s becoming a little anxious about something not being clean enough, though. Saying nothing, she might stare and stare at a window. Finally, I’m able to detect a spot in a place she can’t reach, so I go get a ladder and a spray bottle full of vinegar. She often has me move her refrigerator for her so that she can dust and use a disinfectant behind it when I go to her house. I’ve learned to live with it. But I don’t like house cleaning. I just don’t.

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    1. Ooooo, geez, your mom has it bad. Poor Krista. I know just what that is like. In my Match.com days, I dated a woman for two years who was like that. Twice a year she would declare war on dirt and scrub down and disinfect “everything in the house bigger than a paperclip,” including the under sides of furniture and the covers of each book. She once reduced a dinner party to howls of laughter with the question (which was perfectly sincere): “How many times a year do you scrub down all your walls?”

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    2. Krista, it sounds like your mother and mine went to the same housecleaning and child rearing academy. In my mother’s case, to make matters worse, she was always in a foul mood when doing housework; you never knew when she was going to erupt into a violent fit. I was never able to figure out was caused this, it just was. Small wonder I’ve adopted a much more relaxed attitude toward house cleaning.

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    1. I don’t think it’s just WP, the whole internet, including Facebook, are having problems. I also lost phone service for a couple of hours shortly after noon.

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  28. I solved my flash player problem by switching to Chrome, which was wanting to try. I like it a lot.
    When I was elementary school we would often be played Burl Ives singing folk songs for our music class.

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  31. My sister was a swimmer when she was in school
    And a lifeguard in the summer too
    And the only only way that she needed to take care
    Was to keep from being Soggy Soggy Sue.

    Sorry! That’s been percolating all day…

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  32. Weird light tonight – there seems to be a pinkish glow coming from the sky, as if it were trying to atone for its surliness earlier in the day. I have some lilies blooming that look almost fluorescent.

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  33. Too late for anyone but here’s my stab at the Dew:

    When I was a shock jock and blogged all the day
    I used some colorful proses
    and the only, only thing that prudish folks did
    was to turn right up their noses

    I let George Carlin be my guide
    and used all the words he knew
    and the only, only reason I avoided the censors
    was to fashion the Bloggy, Bloggy Blue

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