Here is a tricky social situation, just right for navigation by sensitive baboons. The note comes from Jane Beauchamp – a former Morning Show listener, sometime Trial Baboon reader and permanently proud mother who is about to have an FTD moment.
FTD in this case means “Forced To Dance.”
My son is 24 years old and marrying his high school sweetheart in an outdoor garden ceremony July 21 at a local country club to which her parents belong. He’s my oldest and the first of any of his friends to get married. I’ve not been very involved in the planning but it appears that it will be an elegant affair; a champagne reception and formal dinner follows the ceremony, after which the dance begins.
The challenge, then, is to come up with exactly the right piece of music to make the obligatory mother/son wedding dance both memorable and painless.
My son and I agree that a) neither of us are great dancers of any genre and b) we do not want anything that is very sentimental/syrupy/pop culture type of thing that would leave his mother (me) weeping in a heap on the dance floor. In fact, if we could avoid the whole dance thing that would probably be better, but I’ve been advised that isn’t part of the program for the evening, and, honestly, I would likely regret it if we didn’t do it.
What is the solution? Jane says the tune should be “something classic but/and fun; short vs. many verses is better; and beyond that we’re open.” Here’s a little more background to help guide you as you sift through your musical back stacks.
When my boys were growing up, we’d listen to The Morning Show every morning on the way to school. I like many other of your listeners told them it was my way of supporting a part of their music education. It was my only chance music-wise, as they both are very competitive athletes and that’s where their interests were. The son getting married played high school and college soccer; since finishing college, he’s been in sales for a national insurance company and loves the different type of competition he experiences there. He and his fiance have a small dog, Jolie, who they love to pieces, and when they’re not planning their wedding they like to travel (France, US, Mexico) and cook.
Stories? Suggestions? Songs?
Trail Baboon 
This may be too sentimental but it’s worth consideration
LikeLike
Okay so long as you DON’T do this song the way Peter Ostrushko did it at the end of the last Morning Show! I was listening to the stream and practically sobbing at my desk. “Coffee Tasted Better When You Were Here” was hard enough to get through, and Ann wasn’t milking every note the way Peter was, the bugger.
LikeLike
i think you do it exactly the way peter did it. thats the whole deal. nothingcould be more clear . i used to sing my kids to sleep with a guitar and different version of you are my sunshine every night when my first two were little collicky problems. i discovered the homeopathic fix for collick for the next ones and they missed out on you are my sunshine but i sure have fond memories.
LikeLike
CG – and at the theatre we were all crying like babies!!!
LikeLike
little potato and dancing with bars are the only apparent tunes for a morning show family.
LikeLike
LikeLike
Good morning. I agree with tim. I think Waltzing with Bears would be a good choice if it works for you, Jane. If it is too “corny” for the setting of the dance, just have them play the music without the lyrics if they have a live band. If you don’t know how to waltz, I think you and your son could learn to do a waltz with a little practice. I am not at all good at dancing and if I do a little practicing I can waltz.
LikeLike
“Waltzing with Bears” would be hilarious, but if that doesn’t pass muster, I’d say detour off the Trail and take a look at the Cole Porter songbook. I’m in awe of his best lyrics, and most of his songs manage romance without syrup (avoid “Every Time You Say Goodbye” like the plague, though!). “I Get a Kick Out of You,” “I Love Paris,” “You’re the Top,” “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” “Dream Dancing”–there’s a ton of possibilities. Remember, too, that schmaltz is as much in the delivery as in the original lyrics, and ask the band to make it bright and upbeat. Or, as Jim suggested, have them play the tune without lyrics–it’s not like that’s never been done with Porter’s songs.
LikeLike
I think CG is on to something – the Porter songbook is great. Or try some Gerswhin – again, with or without lyrics. You could do a slow fox trot (probably) to “Summertime”…
LikeLike
I LOVE Waltzing With Bears and it was a song on my list. He and I have danced to this before, although he is too young to really remember!
LikeLike
Iowa waltz
LikeLike
like
LikeLike
Under a Quarter Moom
LikeLike
like again
LikeLike
i have a 22 year old daughter who is getting married in aug this year. i have offered suggestions and ideas but it is her and her mother that are putting it together. an outdoor event hopes the weather will cooperate. invitations are going out this week. she is enjoying it but having the typical challanges. her husband to be is from kosovo and will have a friend who lives in new york there and we will see if anyone from his family can come. money and visa issues both present challanges. i am hoping all goes well they deserve it. both for the wedding and after. the ceremony… what a trip.
LikeLike
My daughter had a picnic so I escaped the dance with her. Phew.
LikeLike
My wife and son danced in a plaza in Balboa Park to a Mexican band playing something we did not recognize. She did it despite her lupus. Small steps.
LikeLike
for my wedding the band guy called in sick and sent some other guys who had no knowledge of the list we agreed to have him play.my ex was pissed. he asked to be paid the same amount so he could pay the musicians who showed up. i said no.
LikeLike
LikeLike
Obligatory??????? I don’t think so. Don’t dance if you two don’t want to. If you feel you need to do something, maybe a special toast, but dancing is NOT obligatory! We didn’t have a mother/son dance at my wedding.
LikeLike
Andrea – my sentiments exactly. I know that I had a dance with my dad at my wedding because there are photos, but I couldn’t even begin to tell you what the song was after all these years. Enjoy the day and don’t worry about posterity!
LikeLike
Here is my first thought, but I’m not sure it is okay. The song isn’t sentimental . . . we’re cool that way. But I sometimes think there is a EWWWW factor with this song. It doesn’t help to know that the title was inspired by a dish Paul Simon saw on a Chinese restaurant menu, a dish combining chicken and eggs that was called “Mother and Child Reunion.” But you can figure that the wedding guests wouldn’t know that!
And, hey, it is a nice dancing tune.
LikeLike
Wow, Steve. Great minds think alike. That’s exactly the song I was thinking of!
LikeLike
Morning-
The Izzy version of ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’? Can the band do their own version of ‘As Time Goes by’? Mind you, I’ve said before, I don’t pay attention to the lyrics so these might not even be appropriate. Oh well.
Our wedding, we knew the band from other events and my only request was no Raisin Songs. We got married in 1992 and the California Raisins were big. While I can like the song ‘Heard it through the Grapevine’ I didn’t like it in connection with raisins. And so marketing ruined another song for me.
LikeLike
What’s your problem with raisins?
LikeLike
I ain’t got no problem with raisins.
LikeLike
you can start raisin rabbits then
LikeLike
I think a good selection would be Turn Around by Malvina Reynolds, but the lyrics would haves to be modified to fit a son.
LikeLike
Bill Staines “Child of Mine” but I would break down waltzing my daughter to that.
LikeLike
And if you’d like another option for a gentle waltz, “Ashokan Farewell”, also without words…
LikeLike
very nice
LikeLike
… and I saw it at the end of Waltzing with Bears above.
LikeLike
My son and his wife chose Willie Nelson’s Sunny Side of the Street for the groom
LikeLike
…mom, bride/father dance. I thought it was perfect (unlike this messed post).
LikeLike
And a little story – my son thought we should practice dancing to the song before the wedding, so we did – in the itty bitty space between the couch and the refrigerator in their tiny NY apartment. After about 8 seconds of trying not to bump into stuff he said, “Ok, we got it.”
LikeLike
p.s. Thanks for asking, Jane, and good luck with everything. Here’s a little tip: tell them not to take the wedding photos on a dock:
http://www.itv.com/news/2012-06-26/bride-and-wedding-party-fall-in-to-lake-as-pier-collapses-in-america/
LikeLike
I saw that last night on the NBC Nightly News. That spill into the lake sounds like something Garrison would talk about in a monologue.
LikeLike
Mairi’s Wedding would be a nice choice. Does anyone in the band play pennywhistle, or bodhran?
I was thinking of the Chieftains, but this is a nice version:
LikeLike
Neither of my daughters or their spouses really consulted with either set of parents as to what the dances would be. At both weddings the mother/son and father/daughter dances were at the same time, which took a little pressure off my husband who was quite nervous about his dances. There are a lot of good suggestions already – the main thing I know is that I don’t remember what either of the dances were. I’m SURE I would have remembered Waltzing with Bears!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Here’s one I’ve always liked.
LikeLike
Bonnie L. Posted this on fb
http://www.snotr.com/video/8965
LikeLike
That’s great!
LikeLike
It’s called So papa, how do you like the iPad we got you?
What language is that? Danish?
LikeLike
No, German.
LikeLike
Someone in the comments said it’s from a German comedy show.
LikeLike
I was just about to say, “Let’s ask PJ!”
LikeLike
I don’t remember what the song was when my son and I danced at his wedding. It could have been the Beer Barrell Polka for all I know. By the time the dance started, I was exhausted and relieved and ready to be finished with all responsibility.
OT but weird-Today I have been receiving parts of an old time radio show out of the external speakers of my computer-even when the computer is not connected to the internet. It comes and goes, and always repeats the same scene-something to do with a Japanese Detective who drinks hot whiskey, a heroine who is really a robot, and the sound of an old airplane soaring through the air. Our IT guy says he has seen this happen before, and believes the speakers are picking up some radio signal in the atmosphere. Maybe Tom Keith is playing tricks?
LikeLike
we can only hope
LikeLike
Now I am getting a Lysol commercial and a Cascade dishwasher commercial.
LikeLike
It reminds me of that book “Why Should You Doubt Me Now” about a mysterious picture of the Virgin Mary that keeps appearing in the most unlikely places all over Ireland, places like right over the water dish of the dog belonging to a protestant resident of Dublin. It is a hilarious story.
LikeLike
sounds like august wilson who would write his plays and say he just sat down and copied down what the voices he had introduced in the play said. maybe you have entered a new side of awareness renee. take notes.
LikeLike
if we want to get em weeping in the aisles play sunrise sunset and change it to is this the little boy
LikeLike
That tune would absolutely unleash a wellspring of tears! My bias for wedding dancing would be some good old-fashioned Motown 70s music (hint to Jim) because no other genre triggers people’s inner dancer more immediately than this. To have joy from dancing requires a sheer absence of inhibition and Motown seems to accomplish this.
LikeLike
baby love.my baby love ooh ooh ooh my baby love
i got sunshine on a cloudy day when its cold outside i got the month of may
i guess you say
what can make me feel this way
my boy… talking bout my boy
i can see doing it with mowtown
LikeLike
Does someone remember what part of FLA Chris is in? Let’s hope she and her family are above water.
LikeLike
I thought the Broward County/Miami area. but I have no memory.
LikeLike
yep not the north.
but she probably got wet
LikeLike
Jane, whatever you end up with, let us know how it went, when you’re past the “exhausted and relieved” part Renee mentioned…
LikeLike
any waltz would do, but I like the Tennessee Waltz, but I neveer knew the lyrics so you better listen to the words first. My daughters had to listen to TMS also, and they picked Brandi Carlisle’s “did you ever?” for their couple dance, it is lovely and weaves a story around a great tune.
LikeLike
thats the story of a best friend who stole a guys wife. may want to pick a different one. or keep a close eye on the sons best friend
LikeLike
And you should get a structural engineer for a son in law if you want a wedding on a dock, we had 170 people on ours at Lake Superior, and had a great DRY wedding!!
LikeLike
Must’ve been a pretty big dock!
LikeLike
Greetings! Cole Porter or Nat King Cole are great ideas. Personally, I like a lively Harry Belafonte tune like “‘”Dance Senora” — or whatever the title is. It’s a great, fun dance tune that encourages improvisation, so doing goofy dance steps won’t look out of place. Or get down with “Dey-O”. Plantation attire optional!
LikeLike
bring on the bananas
good to see you font joanne, hope all is well
LikeLike
The song about Senora dancing is “Jump In the Line”. Love that one. Always makes me want to vacuum.
LikeLike
cmon over. ill play it for you anytime
LikeLike
Linda, I can just see you grooving away to that one. Good cleaning music for is Paul Simons’s Graceland album.
LikeLike
day o
LikeLike
Thanks, Jane, Dale,and all the baboons for a lovely evening of listening. I’m still surprised that nobody suggested a mash-up of YMCA and the Chicken Dance.
LikeLike
ah those sweet german bonding melodies.
LikeLike
LikeLike
great tune
LikeLike
not great…super fantastic. perfect wedding dance tune. cmon mom. kick up them heels
LikeLike
LOVE Tim O’Brien. Great song. Linda, you’ve got exquisite taste, i.e. I like it.
LikeLike
What fun!
LikeLike
Wow, everyone, thanks for the wonderful suggestions!! Great ideas and tonight I’m hearing that the kids will be using some of these songs for everyone to dance to. Any of these pieces would be fun. I’ll let you know what we (he) decides to do for our dance. Dale, thanks for coming to my rescue and posting my question. I knew this group would have some terrific ideas!!
LikeLike