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Ask Dr. Babooner

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There is no single Dr. Babooner. We are ALL equally good at dispensing advice.
Or at least we’d like to think we are!

Dear Dr. Babooner,

OK, it’s been super hot lately and the air conditioning in the office where I work has been spotty. So I’ve been trying to dress kinda casual. We have this clothing code that calls for business attire, but its a big office and people don’t get too fussy about it, so I figured there was some wiggle room.

I made the switch from dress shirts to polo shirts without a problem and once that worked, I began wearing sandals that cover most of my foot a couple of days a week. I sit in the back of the room at a cubicle all day long so for the most part, people don’t have to see my body – just my head and shoulders. And if I slouch, they see even less that that, so I’ve been peeling off the polo shirt on some of these endless afternoons just to give myself something to look forward to. That’s how I was able to start wearing shorts. I bring them in a bag and once I slide far down in my chair, I can change below the desk.

Lucky I’m flexible.

It’s gone so well, I’m wondering if there are any limits at all. I’d kinda like to see how far I can go. I’m not talking about total nudity – that would be creepy. But I’d like to be able to say I worked at a desk job where I wore a loin cloth one summer.

Kinda funny, eh? But would it be so wrong?

Daringly,
Tarzan of the Cubes

I told Tarzan that yes, it would be wrong on many levels. Courtesy to co-workers is the main concern – he didn’t say if his body was a treat for the eyes but frankly, how could it be? The odds in America today are heavily stacked against this possibility. And even if he was externally attractive all over, there could be resentment from office mates who would also like to dress down, but lack the nerve.

And most people simply don’t own a decent loin cloth.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

65 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. My son works a cube farm in silicon valley. They’s probably wonder what the issue us.
    I would take the middle road. I only wear shorts to bike ride. Fat old men have a duty to society about their display of flesh. That seems on the whole to be the feeling here in German country. But yesterday we were up in the Cities. Not the same feeling there.
    tim, must be a marking gimmick here.
    Catherine, start designing a convertible, expandable loincloth.
    Anna, color schemes are needed.
    Wait, wait. What about a camouflage pattern so people melt into their cubes so they don’t melt in their cubes. Get on it Anna.

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    1. The first thing you would need to know for good cube camo is if the cube farm subscribes to the beige, putty or grey color scheme. Once you have that, the trick is to find the correct cross-hatching to match the texture of the cube walls. If you want to include a bit of the chair color, that may also help (mine is blue, a nice match for my pale pale skin…).

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  2. With office space at such a low level I think niche marketing is the key. Clothing optional cubicles would give people a reason to get there early and stay late. Rent a workspace from t&a office space where the motto is we’ve got you a covered. X rated office space where productivity is secondary and half assed work is par for the course. Loin cloth r us is the shop at the end of the hall next to the espresso machine. I’m curious which direction you want those expandable loin cloths to expand in clyde. Your waist is the same size at the hens of the day as it was at the beginning. No need for expansion there. Camo loin cloth right next to my NRA bumper sticker and Carlton Heston poster. Could be fun!,

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    1. All snortworthy! and spellcheck makes it even better – “waist is the same size as the hens of the day”. Using chickens to measure body size; that could be ticklish with only a loin cloth.

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  3. Quiet day. Is everyone heading for Donna’s cabin?

    Most folks who write to Dr. Babooner disgust me, and Tarzan of the Pubes holds up that tradition. This is an incredibly narcissistic post, almost to the point of solipsism. Clothes are all about modesty and a decent regard for the comfort of others. People can work together happily and productively if everyone is dressed in ways that aren’t distracting or offensive. Loin cloths are appropriate dress for people whose job is swinging on vines. Otherwise, more standard choices are better and more considerate.

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  4. I’m thinking tarzan maybe you ought to take this as a sign you need to acknowledge a deeper unspoken part of yourself. It’s fine to want to wear a loin cloth but to sneak it into the back cubicle and make the fun in your job come from the unspoken capers beneath knee hole is another issue altogether. Maybe a new chapter in your life is in order. There was a radio blip last week about a stor where they offered a free something or other to anyon who showed up naked. They wondered if they would run out of the giveaway items. They had about 20. 950 people showed up. He punch line was it was in Germany. I think maybe a clothing optional grocery store, barber shop, oil change, donut shop could all be very interesting pursuits. You are not alone Tarzan you just need to find jane instead of hiding in the cloak closet at cubicle land. C’mon Tarzan let it all hang out. The world is out there. I think you’re waiting to discover how far you can push the business attire toward the other idea you are exploring will certainly end in avignon the decisions made for you. Why not take it upon yourself to initiate the move. Get together with some like minded friends and talk about the first thing that pops up. Have fun and good luck.

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    1. You are too kind, tim (says the blue doily). Europe doesn’t agree on much, but I think the universal opinion is that Germans should wear a LOT of clothing, especially at the beach. And as for your advice to Tarzan, if a bunch of workers get together in the nude, the “first thing that pops up” might not be something they’d want to discuss.

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        1. Many, many, many reports of general disgust at “fat German tourists.” I don’t know that they are any heavier than anyone else, but I’ve heard that complaint over and over.

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        3. now is that by the per capita or the pound. i believe that america has more babyfat obesity than any other country where the grbage we consume and the hours of tv time make us add 2 pounds a month form birth but we peak out about 16-18 and stay there at 130% to 170% of desired excess baggage. in germany suspenders are required.they got some big boys over there.

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        5. no i was not able to go to the cabin. life came up and whacked me while i was trying to live. sad to miss it.

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  5. I am having a wardrobe quandary myself. Next weekend the band of which I am a member is headed to Pine Ridge to perform at a Baptist mission. There is a dress code for those who go to the mission, having mainly to do with protection from rattlesnakes rather than Baptist modesty. My band members (the ones who are Native Americans) haven’t figured out what we are going to wear when we perform, and suggested “Rez Casual” although they haven’t got an idea what they mean by that term. We will not wear loin cloths. Any Baboon suggestions for Rez Casual?

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    1. Sioux women, in my experience, dress modestly. The first thing that comes to mind is a print skirt that falls below the knee. I think traditionally the Sioux favored geometric patterns over the floral designs of their enemies, the Ojibway. (I’m sure that doesn’t relate to modern reservation dress.) My memory is that women on reservations often layered their clothing: a plain shirt or blouse would be topped with a loose-fitting patterned shirt.

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    2. knee high boots is the key to rattlesnake protection. jeans and t shirts is the rest of the outfit unless you get fancy with western shirts and vests. i was surprised that the indians dont have animosity enough towards the white man to have distaste for the western style garb but that is what i see them wearing in daily life. bolo is dressing it up. turquoise is the dressy version of casual

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  6. Morning. Slightly rainy here but not expecting much. I knew it was going to rain; my knee told me that 36 hours ago….

    Nope, don’t own a loin cloth. Don’t intend too.
    A few weeks ago, I had to go visit someone about a barking dog complaint. The yard is full of kids toys, bicycles, old vehicles (including an old truck with the rear wheels up on blocks backed up to a pool. Still trying to figure that one out.) The large, pale man that got of one of the cars and was wearing only shorts kind of put me off. Maybe it was like Clyde said, “Fat old men have a duty to society about their display of flesh.” But this guy wasn’t that old. We had a pleasant conversation but I would not want to work in a setting with everyone baring that much skin.
    No, no loin cloth unless you’re built like Fabio. You better have long sweeping locks of hair blowing in the wind to give my minds eye something to latch onto.

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        1. Yes, I think 3 ft would be fine for the splash of a cannonball for those under 10. Sounds like the fun uncle or cousin house; the one your mother would not want you to visit because all the adults drink beer and the kids run wild.

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  8. I have a neighbor who likes to go shirtless in warm weather (or in a warm house in the winter). I don’t have a moral problem with this, but I do have an aesthetic problem with it. His body, with its Huge Belly is no treat for the eyes, let me tell you. I suppose I should be thankful he hasn’t gone down to loincloth only – it’s bad enough as it is, because I can not look at anything besides his Belly when he wears shorts and no shirt, I’m afraid that if he wore a loincloth, I wouldn’t know where to look. This guy obviously hasn’t heard of Clyde’s wise words of old fat guys having a duty to society to limit their display of flesh. I suppose he has a right to wear as little as he wants in his own house and yard; thankfully, he doesn’t extend his shirtlessness to public places (yet).

    So, T of the C, Dale has the right advice. Listen to him!

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  9. I hope people won’t mind if I get OT on a slow day. I haven’t posted in a long time about the world’s coolest grandson. The other day he asked Molly, “Did you get your hair cut Mommy? It looks real pretty. You look real pretty today Mommy.” Spotting a new hair-do and complimenting the woman involved is a social skill that eludes most grown men. Liam is two!

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    1. Definitely one of the world’s best two-year-olds (I can say that because my granddaughter is only one). Sounds like a real sweetie!

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  10. Having spent a major part of my working life in office management, I can attest to the fact that dress codes exist for a reason. Some people have no sense at all of what it is appropriate to wear in their work environment, and T of C, you sound like one of those. The CPA firm where I worked had a rather strict code, possibly because it was an international firm; the law firm was a little more relaxed but still required business attire. The alternative school tried to get along without a dress code until a couple of young female employees pushed the envelope too far. We had to spell out that no bare midriffs, strapless tops or short shorts were permissible! In retrospect, perhaps we should have banned loin cloths too, just to be on the safe side. Didn’t think of it at the time, and now it’s someone else’s problem.

    But, times they are a changin! Servers in some restaurants these days are so pierced, tattooed, and generally look so freakish to me that it almost hurts to look at them, but clearly those establishments are attracting a different crowd than old fogies like me. Perhaps you’re not working in the right environment, T of C.

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    1. We ate in a Perkins in Golden Valley yesterday where every server was tattooed, many pierced in the face, a couple were freakish looking, not appetizing at all.

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      2. i sent my son to the red staag supper supper club restraunt where jims son in law plays music with a date because he wanted to go somewhere that was not a perkins or a reguar venue for drunken sports attendees. the food is great and the prices are high but not blow your face off. he came back and gave me hell for sending to a place with pierced , tatooed wait staff. it never dawned on me it would be an issue. i think those people make the world go round. god bless em. but i am glad my children have all drawn the line at ear piercing to date. facial tatoos is such an irreversible decision.

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  11. I think Tarzan should adopt at least a minimal amount of flesh coverage (more than a LC).
    One of my first jobs was in Hubbard Broadcasting’s (KSTP) accounting dept. When I started (1973), women had to wear skirts/dresses. Not terribly atypical for that era. After a few months, they expanded the code to include “pantsuits” but only during the winter when Stanley Hubbard was in Florida. When he returned, we were to go back to skirts/dresses so he could take a gander at our gams.

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  12. In the Twins game an older man with ample adipose tissue was shown wearing no shirt and “Mauer 7” shaved into his back hair.

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      1. I did look and it’s not as bad as I thought. The guy’s not nearly as fat as I thought he would be – that is way less gross than my neighbor’s big belly.

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    2. The internet is so much fun. I’ve just been reading about Johnny Weismuller’s life. Perhaps the best story is about when he was playing golf in Cuba in 1958 when he and his partners were captured by revolutionaries. Weissmuller cut loose with the Tarzan yell and was suddenly befriended by the revolutionaries who said, “Tarzan! Welcome to Cuba!” To me, that sounds like a moment from an early Woody Allen movie.

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  16. Hey gang,
    It’s tradition in my family to pack an ice cream bucket of cookies for the road. So that’s done and we’re headed to Mississippi.
    Adding to the adventure, I’ll be flying out of St. Louis Thursday to a funeral in York PA and then back to MN on Saturday.

    I’ll check in later.

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    1. That sounds like a fine tradition, Ben – an ice cream bucket of cookies for the road. I should try that for my trip to Duluth. Well, maybe not, since it’s a short trip and I will be traveling alone.

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    3. ben it 741 miles form st louis to york pa. i think there is a closer airport.
      sorry to hear about the funeral. never a good time for that.

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        1. Greetings from St. Louis! Yep, going to see an Aunt in MS tomorrow and Tuesday, Wednesday heading back to MN, I’ll fly out of St. Louis and Kelly will drive back to MN. I’m meeting family out in PA and will fly back with other family members.
          And there’s cookies left!
          Boy, it’s hard to plan a vacation! Darn near impossible to fit one into the schedule!

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  17. Having seen both the too large and the tiny exposed in a variety of ways in recent weeks, I can say that no matter the size, too much exposure can just be distracting (and not always in a good way). Distracting both for the viewer and the viewee (who is, if not oblivious to their over-exposure, inevitably tugging at whatever it is that is passing for “clothing”). Imagine all the time you would need, T of C, to ensure that your loincloth wasn’t about to fall off, flap open, or shift inappropriately when the VP of your division came walking by. That sort of thing would surely necessitate a trip to HR – and HR departments are known for their lack of sartorial humor or leniency. Plus, what would you say to your boss when explaining that the data doesn’t match up because you were too busy fretting about your clothing (or lack of it) creeping up in an uncomfortable way and heading to a place only your doctor or spouse should know that intimately…

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  19. T of the C – See if you can get someone in power to let you wear a sundress. The coolest thing I own, and what I wear around the house whenever it’s 93 and above, is a loose fitting dress that drops straight down from the shoulders. Scoop neck, stops at the knees. Preferably linen, but definitely not synthetic fabric if you want to stay cool.

    OT – got back a while ago from Donna’s cabin, where we had an awesome time – Linda, Husband and I with Sherrilee and Teenager for part of it. No loincloths, but swimwear was worn.

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