Today’s post comes from 9th District Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing all the water surface area in the State of Minnesota.
I’ve been writing to you quite a lot lately, and I apologize for that because I know many of you see your elected representative as someone who should not be heard from unless you have a need for my services or a face a government related problem that must be solved immediately.
Otherwise, you would rather I go off to Washington DC to argue with the other Representatives and try my best to do as little as possible in the way of creating policies that might interfere with your life.
I get that, and I’m trying to be the kind of servant you want me to be.
At the same time, I know you need instant access to all existing information about me. Every little detail. Even though you don’t like me very much, it’s important that there not be any secrets between us. I’ve been in some personal romantic relationships like that so I’m very familiar with the Personal Evasion / Privacy Invasion bi-polar disorder that increasingly characterizes our constituent / public servant contract. It’s OK. See how cool I am about it? Your feelings about me couldn’t be more conflicted than MY feelings about me.
And really, I’m ready to submit to any kind of scrutiny as long as you agree to keep voting for (loving) me.
Here’s the good news. Thanks to modern technology and the ongoing merger between reality TV and journalism, you don’t have to work very hard to get a chance to go over my tax returns and even see photos of my car in all the different places I’ve driven it. I also hope that I can soon make it a regular practice to keep my cell phone GPS turned on and linked to my Facebook page so people can always see where I am! Why? It’s a great for us to connect, or conversely, an easy method for you to avoid me if you find me appalling. After all, it’s much easier to duck into a shop or a restaurant when a phone app tells you I’m two blocks away than to wait until you see me and then cross to the other side of the street. And it supports small businesses, which of course is an approach I favor.
I hope that by using these convenient tools, you’ll be able to get comfortable with me, feel that you know me, recognize that we are very much alike, and see that I am as ordinary and mundane as you feel on your very worst days!
As your elected representative, I may not always do exactly what you would do in a given situation, but I do pledge to you that I will be as human as you are, if not moreso. Even if that means I have to be petulant and snippy, a little bit vacant, somewhat clueless, occasionally gaffe-prone and always, always emotionally needy.
I already feel a little uncomfortable with Congressman Beechly’s level of sharing, but I think he is doing this because he doesn’t have a political opponent this year, and thus he is forced to run against himself. That thing about his earlier romantic relationships should make this Fall’s contest against Write In Candidate a barn burner! Rep. Beechly’s support staff always goes on vacation in August, but before they left someone should have told the Congressman not to write constituent newsletters after his bedtime nightcap.
When do you know someone has given you Too Much Information?