Poems

A Policy Wonk From Wisconsin …

49 Comments

We now have a new prospective Veep in Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan, who will be lauded and vilified for at least the next three months. If we believe everything we hear, we may never know anything about him.

Vice Presidents are, by definition, NOT front and center on the political stage. The website vicepresidents.com carries on its masthead this curious motto: “Proud To Be in the Shadow”.

For some reason, thinking about the American Vice Presidency makes me want to write bad limericks. And by that, I mean clean ones. Why? Because George Bernard Shaw said clean limericks are “a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity.”

That would make it the perfect form of poetry to describe vice presidents.

An unusual fellow named Spiro,
As our veep was a definite zero.
But his boss was the worser,
a notable curser
and a genuine folk anti-hero.

A reason that limericks and Veeps don’t line up? There is a dark side to the job – perhaps too dark for this lighthearted form.

As political power is reckoned,
the most worthless position is second.
‘Cause you take all the falls
but you can’t make the calls
’til your boss, to his maker, is beckoned.

A criticized Rep. from Wisconsin
Wants a job he can shape his response in.
He enjoys cutting taxes
But never relaxes
Out of fear he’ll become Andrew Johnson

Feel free to contribute your own limerick or haiku or free verse. Anything to trim the verbiage!

49 thoughts on “A Policy Wonk From Wisconsin …”

  1. Good morning. I’ll make an attempt at writing a limerick:

    Who will become Romney’s Vice?
    Certainly not someone with lice
    Will he pick a cool cat?
    Or maybe a lousy rat?
    I doubt it will be someone who is nice

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  2. pawlenty let’s just call him tim
    thinks vp might really suit him
    an original idea?
    treat it like diarrhea
    stop it up push that cork deeper in

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  3. Wisconsin is a state in distress
    Walker has gotten it into a mess
    now he is trying to be
    the United States VP
    don’t see this as a thing God will bless

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  4. I should have read the link Dale put up on Paul Ryan. If I had read that link I would have know that Ryan has been picked as Romney’s running mate. I don’t think he a cool cat and I don’t know if he is a rat, but a doubt that he is nice.

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    1. Me too. I painted Ryan with Scott Walker’s brush. Actually think Ryan is more dangerous than Walker. Glee in the tea party today!

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        1. tim, how I wish I could muster your optimism. Interesting isn’t exactly the word that popped into my mind. I was thinking more along the lines of brutal.

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        2. I predict rabid joy in the ranks. It will be interesting like a 10 car pile up in the other lane that I don’t want to see but feel compelled to look

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        4. we cant allow the right wing nazis to go under the radar any longer. there are good people who are still part of the republican party because they have issues with giveing the dems free reign to be dems. but that vs giving the gop the ok to be the gop these days is a different choice altogether.i think having a tea party yes man behind the gop talking head should help put the ghost party of joe mccarthy in a true perspective. karl rove and joe mccarthy = gop today. is that what america has evolved into by building a platform that appeals to the god gay gun no tax no foreigner contingent? if it has they need to get it out of their system one way or the other. think of the other off the wall special interest people who have had a shot at taking the reigns and how they have been put down and looked at years later. the only problem is wh is going to put em down when they are the leaders of what used to be the free world?
          i am optimistic that we will be able to see them for what they are and if they ever did get elected that we would be able to see like we did with w what a travisty it is to allow these 21 century greedy grab all i can for me and mine and never mind the big picture of the masses to run the show and bury the premise of america for the last 250 years.
          ryan is perfect he is palin in pants. the difference between palin and ryan? lipstick!!

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  5. Paul, Paul the Budget man,
    taxes the middle class as fast as he can,
    gives the breaks to his richest fans
    Sports a perfect, even, tan.

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  6. At least we don’t have Pawlenty
    To look at in pols’ ads a-plenty
    We just need to hope
    That Mitt and this dope
    Don’t get the chance, us to tormenty.

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  8. I was still awake when the news came through (3AM), so I researched a bit. I’m hoping to God that this choice will awaken the senior vote since Ryan’s “plan”, which Mitty will now showcase as HIS, would end Medicare as we know it. Ryan would give each senior $6,000 a year to cover all
    their medical expenses. People approaching 65 would have the most to fear as it’s possible we older folks would be grandfathered in. On the other hand, if he’s veep, he loses his powerful Ways & Means Committee chairmanship, so that’s a plus for us! This draconian-minded little 42-year old subscribes to Ayn Rand, a social Darwinist. At least he openly did until someone mentioned to him that she was a rabid atheist, then he suddenly tried to distance from her philosophy (he’s a good Catholic boy)!

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    1. What are you doing awake at 3 am and why would mitt announce it at such a time when all America is asleep. usually that’s a sign of trying to sneak it past the media while no ones looking. can you imagine the midnight shift looking at the wire or whatever they look at today saying “holy cow stop the presses we need a new front page” dale really has done the week in media industry. right on time for all mitts friends at he final weekend of the olympics

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  9. Paul Ryan’s no slouch I am sure
    Though I fail to see his allure
    He’s sure to make cuts
    Kick our collective butts
    While the rich roll in dough like manure

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  10. ryan is the way they decided to go
    america all wants to know
    how to take taxes away
    where no one will pay
    mitt and paul slight of hand is the whole show

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  12. Today has been a slow day on the trail, and I truly think it is a result of the utter worthlessness of the honorable Mr. Ryan. He has no real interest to wise baboons, and there is really little to say about him. I am more excited about the harvesting and putting into a pie of our first Savoy cabbage. It was delicious!

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      1. I got this recipe from a King Aurthur Flour Cook book.

        9 inch double pie crust
        3 T butter
        3 c. of shredded savoy cabbage
        1 chopped onion
        8 oz sliced mushrooms
        1 t. dried basil
        4 hard boiled eggs, sliced 1/4 inch
        1 t. salt
        1/2 t. pepper
        4 oz cream cheese, room temperature..

        Saute the cabbage and onion and seasonings in 2 T of butter until the cabbage is wilted and the onion is soft. Put in a bowl. Saute the mushrooms in the remaining 1 T of butter until they exude their juices. Mix in with the cabbage. Preheat oven to 400.

        Spread the softened cream cheese in the bottom crust. Layer on the egg slices. Layer on the cabbage mixture. Roll out top crust and place on pie and crimp edges. Make three vent slashes in top crust. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes, then for 20-25 minutes at 350.

        I had to bake this a lot longer at 350 to get the crust to brown, but I think I had the pie at the wrong rack level (too low in the oven). It turned out really well. Today we are harvesting more cabbage and will blanch and freeze it for soup this winter.

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        1. I guess I didn’t detail that one is to roll out the bottom crust, too, and put it in a 9 inch pie plate.

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  13. Neither a limerick or haiku can I make
    I would rather just eat my cherry cheesecake
    Than think of the vice prez who gives me a headache.

    Some say he is very like McCarthy, Joe
    If so, please excuse me if I am not gung-ho
    I fear that this may give freedom a deathblow.

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        1. http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/no_bake_cherry_cheesecake.html

          I tweaked it a little. The cheesecake part seemed kinda bland, so I added about half a teaspoon of almond extract…could have added the same to the cherry topping, or maybe a splash of amaretto.

          I put it in a 7×11 pan instead of 9×13 and the cherry topping seemed about right for that, would have been kinda thin in the bigger pan.

          I used tart cherries…yum!

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  14. Good morning.

    Romney picks Ryan to run by his side?
    I don’t think he could do worse if he tried
    Is there any way they can win?
    How did George two get in?
    Did he pick Ryan using McCain’s choice as a guide?

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  15. I’d much rather play with my kid
    Than read about the new VP bid
    It’s sure to distress
    And make a big mess
    With luck Mitt’s campaign will skid

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  16. My haiku-fu is non-existent today-aged aunt is in transition. Bless her, she is making this as easy for us as possible, but it is still a thing to be waded through.

    I believe the Paul Ryan pick is not about the 2012 campaign , it is about 2016. The GOP is planning on continuing to control Congress for another 4 years of gridlocking the POTUS and making very sure no young, up-and-coming Dem even gets to see the light of day, and then sweeping all the marbles off the table in 2016.

    I don’t think they will succeed, but I do think they plan long-range.

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  17. OT-SInce the uproar here on Friday with the fugitive on the lam in town, we locked our door last night, and it caused problems. Daughter and best friend are accustomed to coming and going from one house to the other without worrying about the doors being locked. Husband, daughter, and I were all asleep about 11 last night when husband picked up the phone to hear best friend pleading with us to please unlock the door and let her in. She was hysterical when she stumbled into the house, in tears, and told us “I can’t find my mom and my dog is dead!” Her mom was incommunicado at a wedding dance, and best friend came home from her job at the local movie theater to find her 11 year old Pembroke Welsh Corgi dead at the bottom of the living room stairs with his head in a bag of dog food. Daughter went over with friend and helped her wrap him in a blanket. I haven’t heard yet what was the cause of death. Never a dull moment.

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      1. Thanks. We are all doing ok this morning. The girls have a basement movie night planned. Best friend leaves for college next week, so this is going to be an interesting week. The Corgi appears to have suffocated with his head in that bag, Best friend’s mom said “he just didn’t understand what lack of oxygen would do”. So, dog owners, keep dog food bags out of reach of your pooches.

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        1. i woke up a couple weeks ago to find my adhd puppy had knocked the tall treats container (one of those blue tupperware tallish containers with the round blue screw tops the size of a peanut butter jar) and had gone in head first to get the doggie treats only to discover just because a head goes in doesnt mean its coming out. i found her at 530 ish and had to cut the jar off with a garden shears through the thick plastic. when i got it off she did that giant inhale and i will be her best friend forever. i initially thought it must have happened moments befroe but i figured out by the vole of the drool in the jar she must have had that holding her captive for at least a couple of hours and rather than panic she laid down and chilled til i got there, i am so familiar with what you and your neighbor went through because i almost did and played it back a hundred times since with the what ifs scenarios. my condolences.

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    2. what a bad time to have the door locked. sorry to have the creepy world inch into your hoem. hope all is ok soon with the neighbor and the neighborhood both outside and within

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  21. The republican party is very
    Old-fashioned about who should marry
    Romney wasn’t even tryin’
    The day he picked Ryan
    I’m just glad it wasn’t Mike Parry.

    It has rained lightly all day here. It got up to 60 degrees once, but then it went back down to 59. Pippin stuck his little nose and one little foot out the door a minute ago, but he looked at me and slipped right back in. I’m actually roasting garden vegetables in my unused oven! It has been SO NICE to have this rain and cool weather. It’s been like having an actual day off!

    I’m not thinking of Ryan;
    Tomorrow
    Is another day.

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