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Ask Dr. Babooner – Start Seeing Billionaires

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We are ALL Dr. Babooner.

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I’m the billionaire head of a massive corporation, so there’s no denying I’ve had some success in life. But I’m not just a money object. I think of my self as well-read and clever, and I have lots of ideas that surprise people, including me.

Recently I suggested that all our lives would be better if robots did more of our routine work because if people only had a four day work week, that would free us up to spend more time with our families.

It was an innocent suggestion, but boy did I get hammered for it!

Critics say I don’t understand the plight of the average person working an hourly job in America today who struggles to feed children keep a home intact.

They also say I’m a snooty, self-involved party boy.

But this should come as no surprise. In case you didn’t notice my first line, I’ll repeat it – “I’m the billionaire head of a massive corporation.”

For as long as I can remember, there has been an unlimited amount of money available to fill any need and satisfy every whim! Do I realize that many people work 60 and 80 hour weeks to make ends meet to support a family?

No, I don’t get that!

Can I comprehend the connection between time spent working and income for low-income people, namely that a shorter work week and fewer hours spent on the job means less money overall?

Of course not! Work is something I do to pass the time while my money makes itself.

I know this is pretty basic information, but being a billionaire today relieves you of any curiosity you might have about other people. I barely talk to my rich neighbor, so how could I be an expert on the lives of the poor?

The fact that so many people don’t understand how it feels to be the billionaire head of a massive corporation makes me wonder if there’s a market out there for Billionaire Awareness Training. With so many of us calling the shots in business, politics and technology, it seems to me that even a hotel maid would have something to gain from truly understanding the Billionaire mindset.

If nothing else, it might explain all those wet towels on the floor.

Like I say, I consider myself clever though my ideas have more to do with imagining the future rather than facing some other person’s reality.

I suppose critics will claim the poor don’t have time with all the hours they’re working to take a class about understanding billionaires. But that brings me back to my original point – robots can cover for them!

They can even take the course online, and if they don’t have access to the internet, I’m sure course materials could be delivered by drone to the front doors of their hovels!

But reaction to my previous brainstorm has made me a little gun shy, so before I put it out there I thought I’d better get a second opinion. Dr. Babooner, what do you think of my idea?

Hopefully,
Billionaire Head of a Massive Corporation

I told B.H.O.A.M.C. his idea is fantastic and he should move quickly to copyright and implement it. Even though the normal people of the world do not necessarily love billionaires on a personal level, they think the lives of billionaires are fascinating and most would jump at the opportunity to immerse themselves in details about the billionaire universe.

One suggestion – if Billionaire Awareness Training is offered as an evening class, why not have it catered at the poolside classroom?

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

28 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner – Start Seeing Billionaires”

    1. Funny – I’m listening to a mix and this same song is playing right now – sung by Bryan Bowers on the album A Tribute to Steve Goodman.

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  2. Good morning. Here’s an idea for you, BHOAMC, share some of your wealth with the people who work long hours to make a living so that they will have enough money to support themselves with a shortened work week. Perhaps as part of the billionaire awareness course you could explain why billionaires need so much money. Also, as part of the course, you might explain what you did to become so wealthy. I have the feeling that you didn’t get all that money through hard work or by being exceedingly smart.

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  3. It would solve a lot of housing problems in the oilfield to have robots doing the work,but I would be nervous about non-humans monitoring well sites. People serve a purpose. I think it would be more useful for our billionaire friend to have some training in the oil patch to truly understand hard work.

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      2. The installers are Korean immigrants. They work hard. I went into the garage yesterday to be greeted by the most wonderful smell. There was a pot of some sort of soup bubbling away by a rice cooker. It was their lunch.

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  5. I think Billionaire, you are failing to see the inequality of how we value work. You clearly feel that your work of sitting around watching your money make itself is of more value than that of the hotel maid who refuses to clean up after your spoiled self. Now, there is an argument to be made that to at least some extent, your so-called work has a bit more value in that you have created an environment and company that provides employment to others (where the maid’s work does not). However, I think that too easily gets us down a path where your work is overvalued and the maid’s work is undervalued (see your argument that her work could be done by a robot – which implies that she is essentially non-human in your value set). Your robot utopia may be all well and good, but you may want to add a soupcon of socialism to your thinking and provide a means to even out the pay scales a bit before you start taking hours of work away from people paid by the hour…

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  6. As part of Dale’s details about the billionaire universe, perhaps you could have a “picture (well, demo) is worth a thousand words” segment of your course, where you cater a dinner party for every hotel worker in your city. Serve a multi-course meal, and have as a “party favor” a $100 bill under each plate to demonstrate your generosity. Heck, make them $1000 bills

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  8. BHOHAMC – Not to offend you or anything, but why not take your money and stick it somewhere else instead of an off-shore bank??? If you happen to be a Walton worth 150 billion, perhaps you could reimburse we lowly tax payers the millions spent on subsidizing your employees because of the low wages you pay. It’s only fair if you can amass such wealth that you at least return this indirect subsidy, after all. Giving back the amount we all subsidize your employees with would mean every man, woman, and child would receive about $2 but at least
    it’d be a show of good faith!

    I feel sorry for you having to manage your billions and have your accountants working overtime to seek new, more ingenious ways in which to insure that your money makes money and escapes income taxes. It must be so hard.

    If, on the other hand, you’re Bill Gates, I consider you a saint and the best model of how wealth can serve the whole world! I’d hope that your earnest generosity might embarrass your fellow billionaires. If you’re Buffet, I respect you for willing every dollar you’ve accrued to Gates and other charities when you die. If you’re the Koch brothers – well – I just hope there’s really such a thing as Karma.

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  9. Rich guys don’t remember how it was before they were rich like poor folks have a hard time remembering what life was like when money wasn’t a profanity.
    The magic of thinking about things in a forward moving big picture see the end result before you begin brain is the thing billionaire guys forget how to teach.there are books on it.
    Traction
    The lean start up
    The magic of thinking big
    How to win friends and influence people
    Are all available for anyone to read and are wonderful guides on how to get rich but more rich people read them than wal mart employees
    My son in law form Kosovo is so happy to have a job paying 15 an hour he loves America. He wants a house and a classic car and a jet ski
    It is the American dream. He doesn’t get how to lay it out yet but he loves knowing it can be done
    My business son just left to go to hong kong yesterday to do factory inspections on his internship for the summer. He learns how to jump through the hoops to go forward and has ambitions of staying out of the soup kitchens.
    There will be a future in servicing all the automated stuff we have in our lives today. Some will choose to organize the chores some will apply to do the chores.
    It’s an open choice and the focus makes the difference.
    The Koch brothers vs bill gates is a charachrer
    trait thing. Paranoid vs grace. It’s a different issue.

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    1. Some who choose to organize the work also choose to do it in a way that takes advantage of other people. That character trait is the one that seems to be found in billionaires such as BHOAMC. We can admire Bill Gates for giving away his money to do good. How did he get that money? I believe he has been accused of using monopolistic business practices. I wonder if some of the people who might have been hurt by his business practices are not very impressed by his good works. I think decisions on how to solve world problems should be done in a democratic manner and not be done by billionaires deciding how to spend part of their money on good causes.

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  12. Hey, I think your idea is fine. I would like to understand billionaires better. It boggles my mind to think of having so much money. The only thing is, to be insured of an attentive audience, you should have a 10-question quiz when the class is over and those students who get at least half right not only get their class fee refunded but get a bonus of a few thousand.

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  14. P.S. I would like to order something from Amazon for drone delivery, regardless of cost, just to see what it would be like to have a drone show up at my house to drop off a package. Wouldn’t that be surreal?

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