Today’s post comes from Bart, the bear who found a smart phone in the woods.
Yawn!
Bart here, fading in and out of that wintertime state of torpor otherwise known as “hibernation”.
I’m not too excited about being awake right now, but as long as I’m up I do have a bone to pick with the people who make a big fuss over Groundhog Day.
Last year I said Groundhog Day could be lots more interesting if they made a big show out of rousting a bear to find out how much longer winter would last.
But nobody took me up on it. Yesterday came and went without even a knock on my door. Not that I have an actual door in my den, but you know what I mean. I waited around all morning hoping to be poked with a stick, but nothing happened.
Instead, all the coverage went to that stupid groundhog. Again.
So no, I’m not impressed that P. Phil “saw” his shadow. Casting a shadow is not a big deal in the animal world. Almost everybody can do it.
Rousting a bear would be much more active than waking a groundhog, and I can do a lot more than blink my eyes in the February sunshine. But I realize the whole groundhog thing is built around old fashioned “folk wisdom”, so I made up a little rhyme to get the bear rousting tradition going.
Wake a bear while he is nappin’
and he can tell you what will happen.
If he stomps upon your torso
spring’s delayed six weeks or moreso
If he bites you on your shoulder
March and April will be colder
But if he licks you on your face,
Spring will hurry here, apace.
Nice use of “apace,” eh? That’s Shakespeare. Let’s see a groundhog do that!
Your pal,
Bart
Share your favorite bit of folk wisdom.
Trail Baboon 
Time heals all wounds and time wounds all heels.
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That one’s true.
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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go,
because, man, they’re gone.
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My mother had a plaque on the kitchen wall that was supposed to represent the folk wisdom of the Pennsylvania Dutch: Vee grow too soon oldt und too late schmart.” It didn’t mean much to me when I was eight, but now . . . .
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
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Two rights don’t make a wrong. Two Wrights make an airplane.
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
My very diligent grandmother was full of these. When trying to get us to help her with anything, it was “Many hands make light work.”
When viewing a hole in a the knee of jeans or a sock it was, “A stitch in time saves nine.”
While we baked cookies together she would answer my question, “Grandma, should I grease the cookie sheet?” with, “Any cookie that can’t grease its own butt, ain’t worth baking.”
And when it came to flavoring food, her answer was, “Everything tastes better with a cup a sugar and a cup of cream.”
I love remembering her saying these things. However my favorite folk ditty is in cross stitch, hung on the wall of my porch, framed by an old horse yoke which came from the farm where my dad was raised:
“Who plants the seed
Beneath the sod
And waits to see
Believes in God.”
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I think I would have liked her cooking.
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My mother had an old saw, a line, a rhyme, or truism for everything.
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An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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We run our gardening life by these.
You all already know about planting the potatoes on Good Friday.
But I also cannot and will not pick rhubarb after the 4th of July.
My great-grandmother always planted at least 2 of everything as well.
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I don’t know about planting potatoes on Good Friday…
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Lisa, I recall a discussion of the wisdom of the Good Friday potatoes last year, as it seemed early and too cold.
I ended up getting them in late :(.
That will teach me to question the wisdom of people who actually had to survive on their garden.
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My mother had two she would play off each other.
One bad apple doesn’t spoil the bushel. And. One bad drop spoils the cream.
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Also from Adeline: penny wise and pound foolish. Know on which side your butter is
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Darn IPad.
Know on which side you bread is buttered. Now the shoe is on the other foot. Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. Everything I like is illegal, immoral, or fattening.
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how many roads must a man wak down before you call him a man
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Good morning.
Don’t take any wooden nickels.
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It doesn’t take a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
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the answer is blowing in the wind, tim.
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im in the wind and im listening
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These from our Arikara friend-
See a raven, cold weather and snow are coming.
The higher the nests in the trees in the draw, the deeper the snow will be in the winter.
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He is referring to wasps nests.
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From son’s Grade 5 teacher-
One boy, one brain. Two boys, half a brain. Three boys, no brain.
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one dog mans best friend,
two dogs, a couple of damned dogs
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
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A wink’s as good as a knob to a blind bat.
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:-)! Very funny, tgith.
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There’s more than one way to skin a cat.
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indian or african?
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this was directed why the heck up there at renees husbands post about the nests. i guess i mis replied
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From grandma: Burnt toast makes your hair curly.
Not exactly an aphorism, but my neighbor gave me (right after we’d replaced our sump pump) a framed needlework saying:
Who has more fun than homeowners?
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If you drop a dishrag, guests are coming.
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what if you drop it on the floor and wash the floor with it?
is that why all those kids keep coming over?
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My favorite is this wartime credo:
Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without
I need to do a cross-stitch sampler of that and hang it over the recycling bin…
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OT: Harper Lee is about to publish her second novel. The first one did pretty well, so this might be interesting.
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I just saw this news yesterday. Apparently she wrote it BEFORE Mockingbird. I’m 205 on the request list at the library!
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times have changed. her story was beautiful. does anyone still care about beautiful?
maybe the super bowl commercials appealing to our sense of positive aspects of life make it possible to think people are capable of caring as a mass ensemble. id like to think so and hope harper lees book goes there.
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(I probably already shared this one) Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end of the roll, the faster it goes. l really wish l’d never heard this one as come things are better left unsaid.
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“come”? Try “some”!
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i thought it was because youd better be able to deal with the shit it has to offer and figure out how to flush it
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Leave no torpid bear unturned.
Bart is worse than his byte.
Don’t let one paw know what the other paw is stealing.
A bear in the hand is worse than two in the bush.
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Don’t count your chickens until they are hatched.
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Bart and his shadow
Lumbering down the forest lane
Bart and his shadow
Babooners to tell his troubles to
And when it’s spring o’clock
He climbs outside
Up from the rocks
Groundhogs to scare
Just Bart and his shadow
All alone and feelin’ blue
And when it’s spring o’clock
A forecast to make
His torpor unlocked
To steal ‘nother phone
Just Bart and his shadow
All alone and feelin’ blue
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Just Bart ansd his shadow,
All alone, wanting to eat you.
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and when its six oclock
he climbs the stairs
he never knocks
because he is a bear
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I know Dale’s topic for tomorrow. Ha Ha.
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What is it? I’m dying to know!
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Death?
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I bet it is either plutonium munching goats or the invasion of south Fargo by hordes of massive snow shoe hares.
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When someone says “So?” I say ‘Sew buttons on a balloon; you’ll get a bang out of it.’
They say ‘Hey’, I say ‘Straw is cheaper, grass if free. Buy a farm and you’ll get all three.
They say ‘I See’. I say ‘Said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.’
When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
An elephant for a quarter isn’t a bargain if you don’t need an elephant.
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My grandpa used to say the “blind man” one… he was a carpenter.
Love the elephant one.
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Three snows on the robin’s tail before spring arrives.
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hadnt heard that one
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Three crows mean danger.
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If you want it to rain, wash the car.
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Only pick up the heads up change you find on the ground.
The tails up coins are bad luck.
No idea where I got that, but somewhere in my gypsy theatre days.
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My mom’s favorite…. “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
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