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A Dust Up Over Dust

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We are ALL Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I get all my information about the world through YouTube.

Yesterday, I watched with great interest as a video explained how dust from the Sahara Desert in Africa nourishes the rain forest in South America.

These NASA researchers are doing wonderful things to demonstrate to a selfish and xenophobic public how our small world is truly interconnected. And it got me thinking how unfortunate it is that our culture does not respect the immense value of dust, which is something people love to complain about when they find it in their homes, or when they dress up like cowboys and go out for an evening’s entertainment.

Thanks to these two videos, I had a revelation!

Dust isn’t a problem – it’s a great boon! Phosphorus is only one part of the Gift Of Dust (G.O.D.) bestows on the world. Dust is what we eventually become, so some of the dust blowing across the ocean (and even collecting on my coffee table) is connected directly to my ancestors.

This is something that should humble us and make us grateful!

For this reason, I just told my wife I will no longer try to remove dust from our home, but rather, I will worship it from here on out and leave it untouched.

But instead of honoring my spiritual epiphany, she handed me a rag and some Lemon Pledge, and told me to get to work.

Dr. Babooner, please say I am right so I can show your answer to my wife and prove that she is in the wrong.

Sincerely,
Dusty Hubby

I told Dusty Hubby that Dr. Babooner does not like to be used to settle domestic arguments although she realizes this is sometimes the unavoidable fallout that comes with living in the world. In the very same way, dust is unavoidable fallout that apparently does some good in the rainforest, but that does not mean it’s equally useful when it collects on your coffee table. Even if it contains a tiny bit of great grandpa, worshipping the dust in your house is just another way to say you’re devoted to leisure, and your G.O.D. is actually the Lay Z Boy.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

32 thoughts on “A Dust Up Over Dust”

  1. Dear Dusty Hubby:
    You are correct, so take this reply and a copy of the Constitution of the United States with you and show them to your spouse. Point out to her the First Amendment which guarantees freedom of worship. Further, I believe that you are the victim of religious persecution and now have grounds for a lawsuit against your wife for violations of your G.O.D. given rights. I am sure there are lawyers whose practice includes both constitutional law and divorce.
    But just a word of caution. Through the millennia, many religious sects have experienced schism as disagreements arise over ritual and liturgy. Do not be surprised if you become part of a Reformation as your Dust accumulates and becomes Dirt.

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    1. can you declare bankrupcy and declare the holdings of you sect to be protected from consequences of your behavior. i think the new religious temple at my sects address needs to be held up as an example of my gods undying love for me. thank you dale. i knew i believed, i just wasnt sure of what. who can deny dust. you can see it everywhere. the opposite of that other deal.

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  2. when the video on the saraha dust being redistributed to the amazon was finished ther were other youtube choices all of them being nasa postings except this one.
    what a delightful version of tom petty and bob dylan doing knockin on heavens door. life can be simple. 3 chords, a harmonica opening with a wonderful chorus that can be learned in unison with the wonderful backup singers. i have the first song for the new hymnal. services at 8 930 and 11

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  3. Dear Dusty Hubby,
    While the dust from the Sahara may be rich in phosphorus, the dust on your coffee table is rich in dust mites and dead skin cells. Those might be rich in phosphorus too, but that may not overcome her objections.

    If you start seeing messages in your dust, you should perhaps be concerned.

    Full disclosure, I am NOT one of the worlds great dusters, but that doesn’t mean I like having it around.

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    1. I tried this just once. The woman scanned my cottage and said it’d take at least 10 hours (@$35/hour). Realizing that it only takes me TWO, l told her to get as much of the stuff l hate to do done in three hours, making it clear that l wanted dusting, vacuuming, and a tile floored washed.

      At the end of the three hours, this woman was still working on the kitchen which was already clean (by my low standards anyway). No vacuuming, no tile washing. With about 15 minutes left to go, l voiced my unhappiness that the floors weren’t even cleaned yet, so she did a very hasty tile washing. Two days later, l noticed dirty water all around the edges.

      I guess l don’t understand why people love to hire cleaning done, but then, l’ve always been a do-it-your-selfer.

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  5. Good morning. If I was the only one living in my home, I wouldn’t dust very often because I don’t notice dust until it becomes very obvious. However, I am willing to go along with a program of frequently using a duster. Dusting isn’t a big job. Get the the duster out and go to work Dusty Hubby. That’s better than spending a lot of time defending your position on not doing the dusting.

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  6. Boy, do we have dust out here. The wind came up on Monday and all the bare ground around the construction sites in town provided tons of dust to points east. Husband is allergic to dust mites, so we need to keep dusted but I am afraid we don’t do the best job.

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    1. Is the dust in ND worse than SW Minnesota? I remember my grandma and aunts near Pipestone dusting constantly because it is so windy there.

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        1. You are surely right, Renee. And I gather it is much worse in New Mexico. Friends there tell me April and May are their dreaded dust months, a time when each day begins with cleaning every surface in the home of a fresh layer of dust.

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  8. You could insist on your rights to worship dirt, Dusty Hubby, but don’t forget that your wife could then exercise her rights to live with a husband whose views of dust are more conventional. Our courts are generally harsh with people who seek legal protection for choosing to live in filth.

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  9. I have been looking at several surfaces here, meaning to dust them for several days. The dusting part would be easy – it is the clearing of the surfaces that is the problem. What takes time is removing everything from the tabletop, and dusting it before putting back on the dusted surface. So we’re back to decluttering!

    And I’m starting to understand how the modern flat style doors, etc., came in vogue, leaving behind paneled doors and mouldings that need dusting to look their best…

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    1. I just finished a month long purging the cottage by cleaning, tossing and organizing a lifetime’s worth of junk here. Every closet, drawer, file cabinet, and cupboard is perfect. 45 large kitchen bags were filled. They were so heavy, l could only drag them across the floor. The men l hired to haul them away asked if l was moving. l said, “Oh no. I’m getting ready to die”. Morbid, yes, but the truth is that every single thing l got rid of is one less that my kids won’t have to (no matter how long l live). Besides, l don’t have that much to do anyway!

      My greatest achievement was poring through at least a thousand old photos. Out of the huge heap, l sorted all of them into various categories like vacations, dancing, holidays, friends, houses, etc, then neatly put them in shoeboxes and labeled each grouping with an index card standing on its end.

      I sure hope l didn’t make anybody feel bad?

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    2. I agree, BIR, that moving stuff is what makes dusting into a bigger job. I am in favor of keeping surfaces free of an excessive number of nick nacks and such things. However, with a little extra work that stuff can be slide from side to side and dusting can be done fairly quickly. Quicker would be better because dusting, no matter how long it takes, is not one of my favorite chores.

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  10. OT for Clyde. You’ve probably seen this before, but in case you haven’t, know that you are in good company when painting and carving through your pain.

    “The pain passes but the beauty remains.” -Pierre-Auguste Renoir, artist [responding to Matisse on why he painted in spite of his painful arthritis] (25 Feb 1841-1919)

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    1. There is a wonderful Movie about Renoir, or more about his son, but depicts Renoir painting through pain. French with subtitles, called Renoir. Nude models in it. but very well done. Perfect cinematography.

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  14. We get lots of dust inside our cupboards and inside the closets. I thought it would get better when we got new siding and windows but it hasn’t improved all that much. I hate having to dust off things inside the closets.

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