Business, Songs

Tax Day Tripper

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Today is tax day, the day when every disc jockey who has control over the playlist is required to spin “Taxman” by the Beatles.

And by “every disc jockey who has control over the playlist” I mean about a half dozen people, worldwide.

“Taxman” is a great song, of course. And it’s the only song about taxes that’s even remotely fun.  Admittedly, the competition is thin in this category because I can’t think of another song on the subject.

Among poets, love is so much more popular, topic-wise!

This is a rage-of-emotion problem.  Taxes and love can both give you the deep blue notes – frustration and longing, blending into misery and finally, despair.  It’s in the realm of exhilarating highs that love really has it all over taxes.

Probably the only thing taxation offers that comes anywhere close to the giddy delight of love is the sudden discovery of a great, rock-solid deduction.

That, and the refund, of course.

Although an accountant might tell you a tax refund is the same thing as forgiveness when it comes to love – a  welcome turn of events but something you would have been better off avoiding in the first place.

Clearly, though, the Beatles could have done more.  The world would have hardly missed it if a few of those love songs had been re-directed into tax deduction ballads.

Perhaps they didn’t look closely enough at the fine print.

Got a deduction. For taking my family out.
Got a deduction. It’s legal, there isn’t a doubt, though.
It was our vacation. I was working too!
That isn’t so wrong! For a scout. A real boy scout!

Business deductions. It’s all about the intent.
Business deductions. Airfare, beach bungalow rent.
It was a big meeting! Talked about the job.
I had to be there! That’s allowed. And I’m so proud!

Of course I claimed it – it’s a Jacuzzi!
Ask my doctor. He made me.
He wrote a prescription – a therapy tub.
An hour of soaking, then I scrub.

That’s what my deductions are.
Not entirely bizarre.
Stretching truth but not too far.
And it helps my asthma.

I’m also claiming an Olympic pool.
Ask my doctor. He’s no fool.
I need the workout. It’s good for my back.
So why don’t you cut me some slack?

That’s what my deductions are.
Not entirely bizarre.
Stretching truth but not too far.
Avoidance miasma!
(Please don’t audit me!)

You can deduct the cost of feeding Sparky.
It is allowed, though most are not aware.

Business.
That’s the pet deduction secret.
He’s an asset, not your pal. Whoa oh, oh

Setters.
Pomeranian or Spitz.
If it’s business then it fits.
That’s what dodgers do.
Ooooh!

Income.
Make sure Sparky has an income.
If he can be taught to sell, whoah oh, that’s

Better.
Put him on the staff today.
On his break time you can play.
Sparky and Old Blue.
Ooooh!

Ask my accountant to confirm it’s true.
His partner is a Shih Tzu!

What makes you sing?

33 thoughts on “Tax Day Tripper”

    1. Well, that depends. If you have a refund coming, you actually have until April 15, 2018 to file without any penalty and still be able to claim your refund. It’s only if you have a balance due that the penalties apply.

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  2. it was was while back when our boy dale
    started us upon this baboon trail
    he been writing in and out of topics
    from space to holidays in the tropics
    and he has introduced us to
    many things some old some new
    here on dales one and only baboon trail

    were dales babaoons here on the blogging trail
    we certainly enjoy the blog
    he leads us daily on the baboon trail
    natural as fallin off a log
    dales gives a story
    we read in all its glory
    it is rarely boring
    on the blog

    its wonderful to read here
    it certainly a kick
    its such a lovely way to start
    the day we always pick
    the thing we always pick
    ‘
    a although its time to start the day
    i just wanted to type in and say
    that i sure enjoy this daily stop
    to read and discuss daily slop
    so let me thank our fearless leader
    for directing us to read in meter
    all about the daily trail baboon

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  3. Rise and Sing Baboons!

    So, Dale, I suppose you were up at 5am composing poetry and lyrics for this. That is not the response that tax day inspires in me. The tax process makes me scream, especially last year after Lou retired and the entire burden shifted to me that first year. That was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, to quote Judith Viorst.

    Maybe tax day should inspire the blues.

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    1. Yes, there could be some fine blues songs about taxes. In fact, “Hellhound On My Trail” might be about an audit.

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      1. Because when he retired, his income went down, increasing my percentage of the total, even though my income stayed the same.

        Not a good day when we realized how that would work.

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  4. A good song cue helps…I work with a fellow who has done a fair amount of community theater, which often leads to one or the other of us using some absurd work thing to break into something from the 20th century American Musical canon (much to the chagrin of our fellow teammates I’m sure). Also, any opportunity to embarrass Darling Daughter by singing is generally taken. But not taxes – at least not often.

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    1. Yes, being with others who know the same songs can lead to frequent bursting out therein. My camp buddies share many songs, some quite obscure, and it’s fun to amaze bystanders with the oddities.
      The other day, PJ posted a video to FB of the Danish queen correcting a reporter for using the informal “you” when speaking to her. I didn’t understand most of the Danish explanation under the video but I did see the word siger (pronounced see-uh, we were taught). It reminded me of a round we sing in Danish about different sized clocks and what they say. The biggest clock says (siger) tick-tock, tick-tock. The middle sized clock says (siger) ticka-tocka, ticka tocka and the littlest clock says (siger) tickatickatickatickatickatickatic.
      So I guess a FB post can inspire singing.

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  5. Husband now has to pay estimated tax every quarter for his business. That is sort of depressing, though I am assured it will make next April 15th a happier occasion. Even modest good news makes me sing.

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    1. I recently learned that MN is one of only 4 states out of 50 that still taxes seniors for FICA. This irks me every year. It seems odd that, while I’m receiving benefits, I go on paying for them.

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  6. Good morning. I’m not much of a singer. I will join in when others are singing happy birthday or as part of a sing along. Other than group singing, I am not inclined to celebrate anything by singing although a beautiful spring day might tempt me to breakout in song.

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  7. I might be forgiven for repeating a story that sorta fits here. My friend Bob Nasby used to work on a construction crew. His back was seriously injured, preventing him from doing that work. The insurance company chose to fight the claim, and the case dragged out for six years. Finally a judge ruled in Bob’s favor and ordered the insurance company to pay him handsomely with money that would be tax-free.

    I remember Bob’s ecstatic phone call to me. “Grooms, they say there ain’t nothin’ sure in this life but death and taxes. Well, I just beat taxes. And I’m workin’ on death!”

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      1. It would be vain to think everyone read or remembers my old posts. I know better than that. I probably apologize for repeating myself just to signal that I have enough of my marbles to remember that I posted the same thing earlier! That amounts to taking credit for a small accomplishment. But at my age, if I can’t get anything for small accomplishments, I’m getting no more credit!

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  8. Here’s a post by a fellow by the name of Michel Adam Latz on this morning’s Facebook that almost made me break out in song; it certainly made me smile:
    “I love tax day: the privilege & responsibility of participating in civil & civilized society. And, the powerful fact that Michael & I now file jointly as a married couple–because of the hard work of so many thousands in our state, including my beloved friends, Ann Kaner-Roth, Jake Blumberg, Jake Loesch, Richard Carlbom, Scott Dibble, Karen Clark, Steve Simon, Branden Petersen, Marc Roth, Monica Meyer, Joe Radinovich-Bruce D Manning, Betsy Hodges, Beth-Ann Bloom-is not lost on us or our children. Thank you all, for most this amazing day!”

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  9. I might break into song if I’m listening to a catchy song and I’m in the house alone with all the windows and doors tightly shut. Same goes for being in a car – if I’m listening to a catchy song and I’m alone with the windows tightly closed and on a fairly deserted stretch of highway. It was made clear to me from a young age that I can not sing, so I do my best to not inflict it on anybody else.

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  10. Most recently, Dale’s parodies – I listened to each Beatles song above and sang Dale’s lyrics, here at my computer. What a hoot! I was laughing out loud half the time.

    Also, acouple of weeks ago our choir director asked me to “sing” Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Surprise at one of our recent gigs. You may remember it from TLGMS (see glossary) — it is mostly spoken, otherwise I never would’ve tried it, not having a solo type voice. Lots of words, I was able to use a cheat sheet…

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  11. Hello Dale. Here’s at least a little about taxes.
    “The taxman’s taken all my dough
    And left me in my stately home
    Lazing on a sunny afternoon

    And I can’t sail my yacht
    He’s taken everything I’ve got
    All I’ve got’s this sunny afternoon”

    Read more: Kinks – Sunny Afternoon Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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