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Ask Dr. Babooner

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We are ALL Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I’m an older person who enjoys his simple pleasures. I cherish my freedom to “live large.” I figure I’ve earned my leisure time. No one is the boss of me and every minute of every day is pretty much spoken for. I guard my schedule of planned relaxation quite jealously.

Sitting in front of the TV with a beer a jar of nuts is one thing I really enjoy. I know it’s not particularly healthy, but I view physical exertion the same way some people look at paying taxes – I don’t do it unless forced, and then with plenty of complaining.

I don’t socialize or do things with the extended family, because that’s not really part of my routine. I start the day with light beer, dry roasted peanuts and morning news shows and slowly transition to dark, hearty beers, cashews, and police dramas.

There might be some intermittent napping in there as well.

Still, my relatives pester me about doing things to prolong my life, citing studies like this recent one that claims people could live five years longer if they would just do three hours of “moderate” exercise every week.

I don’t doubt that any of this is true, but do the math – that’s six full, 24-hour days of exercise each year. And let’s assume you get your five year “extension”. You’d have to continue this exhausting habit to stay alive – no coasting. Six times five is thirty. You’d be stuck doing another month of exercise until the grim reaper finally allows you to quit!

In the meantime, think of all the TV that would go un-watched, the peanuts that would be uneaten, and the beer that would remain un-drunk!

Dr. Babooner, why should I change my comfortable and abundant lifestyle just to spend more time (literally) on a treadmill?

Largely,
Bud Planters (not my real name)

I told Bud Planters (not my real name) that his “routine” is actually a steep downward spiral but he’s free to live five years less than he might if that’s his preference. But I couldn’t figure out two things.

  1. How did the mental fog lift long enough for him to do the math on excise and write this letter?
  2. How did he wind up with relatives who care whether he’s around an extra five years or not?

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

39 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. C’mon, Bud. You can get a treadmill with a tv screen and a cup holder. You’re just making flimsy excuses because you are afraid of outliving your interest in television.

    Once you’ve run out of everything but reality tv, you’ll thank yourself for doing what it took to still be able to get off the treadmill and take a walk outside.

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  3. you know the treadmilll idea is a great one mig. in europe a few years back there was a craze with bicycle beer. you would be able to go all day long if you mix your beer 50/50 with lemonade.
    hey bud 5 years is 1500ish days. if you have only one beer in the morning one at noon and one at night thats 4500ish beers. and nuts too. it may be worth the three hours a week.(if you count waking slow to the refrigerator to get another beer 3×7 days aweek is 21 trips at 3 minutes each trip =63 minutes) (heck if you could bump it up to 9 beers a day and walk even slower you could get all your excersize done walking ot the fridge)
    life can be simple.

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    1. If he hooks the beer cooler to the treadmill, he could just power it by walking.

      Maybe all that methane could be captured to power the tv?

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  4. Well, I lost a bet with myself. I was sure the next mention of a treadmill on these pages would be Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty warning us to stay away from treadmills because of the death a treadmill by some Silicone Valley famous guy. Ever since hearing about that, I’ve kept my distance from treadmills.

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  5. today is l frank baums birthday

    L. Frank Baum was a socialist. And he wrote: ā€œThere were no poor people in the land of Oz, because there was no such thing as money, and all property of every sort belonged to the Ruler. Each person was given freely by his neighbours whatever he required for his use, which is as much as anyone may reasonably desire. Every one worked half the time and played half the time, and the people enjoyed the work as much as they did the play, because it is good to be occupied and to have something to do.

    beer nuts and tv is all i need say bud planter. ok now work the other half of the day

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  6. Good morning. Bud, at least you are staying out of trouble and not bothering anyone. It seems you have some relatives that are worried about your unhealthy life style. You could tell them that what you are doing isn’t creating any problems for them which is a good thing and more than can be said for many other people. I hope that you can come up with some things to do other than watching TV that might spice up your life. However, as far as I’m concerned, you should just do as you wish as long as you aren’t doing any harm to anyone.

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  7. I’m having trouble liking things. I mean I like s lot of things, but I can’t seem to activate the LIKE button. Every time I do, I am sent to s register page where they want me to sign up. I did and nie I have my own blog site. I don’t want to blog, I just want to like things. Can someone help?

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    3. Here’s a link to a blog project your former student, Stephanie, has been working on. The most recent post is more than a year old, but I really like the concept and the mission of this blog. And she’s a fine writer, Clyde, but that’s not a surprise, given that she had such a good teacher!

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      1. Thanks. She is my son’s classmate. We are fb friends and I read her blog from there. She dropped the blog I assume to work on this project. The only course she ever had in journalism was a semester in tenth grade with me.

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  10. My dad was physically fit all his life, playing sports in high school and college, and working as a sports official for 65 years after getting out of the Army Air Corps. He lived to 93, and enjoyed his share of beer and nuts. Maybe Bud could become high schol sports official and look forward to his beer after the games he refs. That way he could have it all and add maybe more than 5 years yo his life.

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    1. my dad smoked and drank and got tired of the people around him telling him to stop his vices. the doctors always were amazed at his outstanding lung capacity even though he smoked for 50 years. it did kill him but it reminds me of the story about his buddy doug schnell.
      doug raised hell all his life and was very successful. he hit the wall at age 70 and the doctor told him he had to quit smoking and drining and runnign around or he was going to die. doug said, im going to die any way. how long do i have to live if i do it your way? the dovc says 5 years . how much if i keep smoking raising hell and drinking 2 years max was the doctors reply
      id rather live 2 years my way than 5 your way.
      he died a happy man 2 years later. he winked on his way out.

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  11. My mother rode a stationary bicycle every day even though she had MS. She livedtyo be 91 but she didn’t drink beer.

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  12. My mother is a youngster at 79 (she referred to people they know in Texas as, “quite old, they are in their 80s”. It did not seem the moment to mention she will be 80 in just over a month).

    She walks a mile a day, and does not drink beer. I don’t think she does beernuts either, and has never had an interest in television, except maybe the Rose Bowl parade.

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    1. i read beer nuts the first time too. its not hter. nuts is what bud eats.
      i like beer nuts. i started eating them when i was 10. it felt like sneaking a drink of my dads hamms. tasty too then peanuts cashews and the other lesser nuts became favorites too.

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  13. BP – if you start tossing the cans behind the furniture, you might want to get tested for dementia… My grandma used to like to drink beer and watch TV (tough not to this extent). After she started “losing ground”, and before she went to the nursing home, we would find the cans behind the fridge – she must have just tossed them there from the couch in her tiny apartment when she was finished.

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  14. I live just like Babooner.except for the morning beer. I have two goblets of cheap box wine every day at 4PM. The only time I really move is on the week ends when I dance for 4 hours without sitting down. The rest of the week, I barely move. I’m probably shortening my life more than the cancer did (BTW, I got another clean PET scan and was told that only 12% with this cancer are still alive by year 5). I also read that underweight people are 3 times more likely to get dementia, so all of you who have extra weight, you’ve got an excuse!

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      1. congrats on the scan
        box wine 101:
        i used to do wine tasting at haskels on satuurdays and one week someone asked about boxed wines.
        the teacher told us boxing the wine is the very bestr way to preserve it. no light or air ever gets at the wine. it is as good two weeks after you open it as it was the day you opened it.
        the problem is people think of boxed wine is crap so they dont pay real money for it so its a race to the cheapest. black box brand boxed wine is excellent wine. trader joes is not bad but not good there is one other one that is a good boxed wine if you care to learn it let me know and i will be certin to ge tit to you . if you dont care i woont.
        trader joes has more wonderful 5 dollar wines than i can believe and total wine moved into twon and has fantastic proces. the wal mart of wines that everyone in the liquor business is whining about (no pun intended) i think the closest one of those to you is in bloomington
        black box is 15 bucks at total wine for the equal of 4 bottles of wine. great price. as for the scan…. woo hoo….. congrats

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  16. OT – Thanks to everyone for the suggestions for our stay in Decorah. We saw the Vesterheim this morning, and loved it. Didn’t read the rest of the suggestions till it was too late. Having a grand time and loving this part of Iowa. Visited Spillville, and Balltown on our way to Dubuque. It ain’t Paris, but we’re loving it.

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  17. I don’t think Bud Planters should change his lifestyle if he really doesn’t want to.

    When you have a study that says people who are physically active live an average of five years longer, it must be remembered that that’s an average. Most people don’t understand averages very well. They think that means EVERYONE who is physically active will live longer, and it will be around 4 to 6 years or so. In reality, a few people might avoid an early heart attack and live 20 years or so longer. And several other people will live 0 years longer, because whatever thing they’re going to die of is not affected by physical activity. So don’t count on gaining extra years of life. If you’re going to be physically active, just do it because you feel better in the present moment if you’re active. And if what you really want to do is sit and drink beer and eat nuts, then do that.

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