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Rules People

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Today’s post comes from Bart, the Bear who found a smart phone in the woods.

H’lo, Bart here.

So the Ranger on this trail thinks he’s going to take some time off?

That’s OK. I like it when the rules people decide to give it a rest, and that’s what a Ranger is to me.  One of the rules people. Ugh.

Us bears have rules too, but not written.

Bears make it their own business to let another bear know when a line has been crossed. That’s not a job somebody else can do, ’cause one day the line might be in a different place than some other day.

On the parks and trails us bears get to know the different Rangers – their habits and how hard they want to work. The best ones take it easy, but there are a lot of hard cases out there. How close the local Ranger follows the book is the single biggest thing that shapes a bear’s territory.

Yup, you heard that right.

It’s not nature, it’s the Ranger. If he (or she) is a prissy, particular, hard-nosed stickler for the Letter of the Law, no bear will call that ground home.

It’s not ’cause bears are natural beasts that don’t like to be bossed, even though that’s true. It’s not that we can’t stand up to some tin-badge authority figure, ’cause we can! And it’s sure not because we’re afraid of the tranquilizer dart. I love the dart the way campers love beer. The world gets all spinny, and then a bunch of gentle  hands come to lift you up, and then you get a ride in a truck!

Travel expands the mind!

No, the reason us bears steer clear of rules-lovers is that most rules run against our interests.  And every rules person plays favorites – usually they aren’t interested in following ALL the rules equally.

But there’s this ONE rule they all seem to like just fine and they follow it to the letter, and wouldn’t you know it’s the one we hate the most.

Don’t feed the bears!

I don’t know about you, but my favorite kind of trail has no Ranger.

Your woodland pal,
Bart

If you could suspend one rule, which one would it be?

99 thoughts on “Rules People”

  4. This is a tough one for this Prussian. I like rules. If there is a bad rule, change it to a good rule. Getting completely rid of a rule makes me nervous.

    Well, except for rules about lawns and cutting grass…..

    I’d think Bart would find prohibitions against littering a drag too.

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  6. i used to spend a lot of time in the national parks and the rangers were the coolest things we would run into for the kids. they were helpful and knowledgable and cared so much about the park. in yellowstone they would be very occupied and everywhere you went the rangers were talking and answering questions and wearing those cool hats. in banff and jasper they got to wear cool uniforms and there was a bit more of a formal presence around being a ranger. then there are the rangers who work in remote places and its their job to watch for fires and keep the trals and paths from washing into the rivers. they seem to do it out of a love and a deep inner commitment.
    the trail has become a pretty civil place over the last 5 years and bart isnt likely to have to stand up on his two hind legs too often but its good to know hes there keeping check on the place we love.
    at 60 i know i have not spent my time as wisely as i always should have and i realizer that the quality screw off time i have remaining is measured so i jhope to get out for a few more go rounds before its over and the only way to do that ever is to put an x on your calendar and honor it.
    i think ill go find some mushrooms today and figure out what is on my to do list over that needs to be put on the calendar for the next little while

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    1. How is the mushrooming going? Just picked up my token bundle of asparagus and am thinking this is a skill I should acquire.

      School is out for the summer and s&h is kicking off “slug week” by going to the state meet to see the guys who beat him run against the fastest guy in the state. They all have graduated so he has big plans for next year.

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      1. mushroom club is 20 bucks a year. meets monday nights over at the u of m campus b the state fair grounds once a month or so ( monday june 9th 7 pm for a presentation and a bit of identifying of stff people will brin in. morel season is coming to a close and its cool to know when and where and how to look and differentiate from other types of scary mushrooms. i am now 99.99% sure on morels and the goal is to get to that same place on other stff. and has get togethers to go mushroom hunting and learning in areas within an hour or so of the twin cities general and the folks are exactly what yu would expect. mushroom loving characters who love to share knowledge stories and time. its a nice excuse to get out into the woods and smell the fungus

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  8. So, you guys, you gotta see it this way: baboons come in a continuum. On one end is mislandgirl, the Prussian. At the other end is tim, the Purgatory’s Angel. Strange, is it not, that our Prussian frau uses not the upper case like our outlaw. So where on the continuum falls you? Me, I’m mislandgirl’s next door neighbor.

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    1. Hey, I capitalize! just not the name and that is on autopilot. I also try very hard to spell and punctuate, but phone typing is not a strength and while I know it is no excuse, I will say I am ignorant of some of the finer points of English grammar.

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  11. I deal with seemingly pointless rules at work-case notes done in 24 hours, intake reports done in 5 working days, evaluations dictated in 30 working days- all to serve as evaluative measures for our performance evaluations. I hate those rules but slavishly live by them. On the other had, I an indignant when others don’t follow their rules for work . I guess I am closer to the Prussian end of the spectrum. I just don’t want to have any rules but my own applied to me.

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    3. i was working with a guy the other day who developed a piece of software for mayo that helps the docs and staf keep track of all those rules and procedures to be certain blood work is done and evaluations are filled out on time. if you miss one the consequences can be a big deal.
      someties its not rules of the guy in charge its the rules of the universe and the consequences in not following are that the science of the way it works is that it simply doesnt anymore

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  12. Students remember me who had a few hard and fat rules, which when followed, made for an open and free environment.

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    1. Yup. When I taught writing, I worked hard to disabuse my students of the idea there are a lot of rules about writing well. I mainly supported two rules: be clear in your writing and, if possible, be interesting.

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  14. Daughter was never any great shakes at art, but took a world art class in high school. One assignment was to make a basket from some skinny, stiff fiber. Hers started out as a basked about 5 inches in diameter at the base, but got thinner and at an angle toward the top. It is about 10 inches tall. Her finished basket took on the shape of a flamenca dancer throwing back her head. It is really cool looking and she got full points on it. So much for rules in art.

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  15. Is it a rule change if I want to change how the human body works so I can eat all the chocolate and ice cream I want and not get pudgier? Because if I could change that rule, that would be awesome. Other rules I’m good with bending, breaking or ignoring if the situation warrants, but that one I can’t seem to get away from.

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  16. Nursing home rules: You go to bed and get up on our schedule, so we can feed you on our schedule, so you can be ready for our scheduled activities. I’m reading a really cool book called Being Mortal (by Atul Gawande) which explores a different paradigm for institutional care at end of life… I am fascinated by his examples. Basically, we have put being “safe” ahead of “having a life.” Sigh.

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    1. My toughest job as a pastor: live-away children who wanted Ma in a home, in case she fell. Safe and not a life. They insisted it was my job to make her do what they couldn’t. But I wouldn’t.

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  17. I would like to alter the rules of time. I want the good times to last longer. I want the bad times to go faster. I want paint to dry while I watch it. I want to remember all the stuff in my life that I wasn’t paying attention to while it happen.

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  18. Have been rereading our collection of Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. I like the ones in which Calvin wakes up and the world has become two dimensional or there is no more gravity

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    1. As a birthday present for daughter (and her parents) we bought a boxed set that has all of the Calvin and Hobbes strips in one collection. Daughter is starting with book 1 and as soon as she is done, Husband or I will, I’m sure, glom onto it. Intent was to buy her another of the smaller collections but then Husband saw the Complete Works and asked for permission to buy it. Who am I to say no?

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      1. We have that set. Daughter wanted to take it to her new digs at college and we wouldn’t let her. One has to draw the line somewhere!

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  19. We have a construction guy at our house today fixing some issues that developed with our new bay window and front storm door that were installed last year. Rules weren’t followed and there were definite problems. It took a while for the company to get him here, but it is looking really good now.

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    1. Our next door neighbors are putting in a new toilet today. One of Murphy’s laws has kicked in. Half an hour ago, the wife came running and asked to borrow our fire extinguisher. While cutting our an old valve, the insulation around the pipe caught fire and they had to call the fire department. Half an hour later, they now need to replace one wall, the floor and rewire. And they’ll probably need to use our bathroom longer than anticipated. Sigh.

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        1. And certainly, for having neighbors you’re on good terms with if you don’t. Also, a good case for having your neighbors house be reasonably close. The freezer in their kitchen is currently plugged in, via a heavy-duty extension cord, in our kitchen.

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        1. i guess is should be putting refference marker in the replies. wen they show up 8 items down its hard to relate them to the comment i tried to tack it onto. if your neghbors had in addition to the close proximity and the good neighvbors and the other things suggested ….a brain that would have been helpful. lighting your wall on fire to me implies not thinking the project through fullly and preparation for the possibleoutcomes beforehand. the torch that started the fire was a tool there for them to use but the lack of having the insight as to the outcome. famous last words… hey lets try this

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        2. same thing happened above for vonnegut. made sense with no gravity when placed by the comment but down 8 notches it is lost.

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    1. thanks that reminds me to get going on another of my ideas that didnt work if you have to focus on driving the car and works great if you dont need to be concerned with that stuff. an extra x amount of time to plug in what youd like to fill it with is a tasty thing to consider.

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  21. Terrier rules:

    I am the queen of house.

    The cats in this house are really dogs. I do not have cats in my pack, just funny looking and odd sounding dogs.

    If the gate or door is open, go through it and run as fast as I can. If they want me to go outside, I only go if they give me a treat. If the treat isn’t good enough, I will refuse to go.

    If they turn their backs and leave food on the table, it is mine.

    Mom is warmer than dad. Snuggle up to her.

    Clean laundry is piled on the sofa just for my nest.

    Dad has to walk me every time he puts on his cap.

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  22. S&h just learned one of life’s little rules: show up. Went to the AA State meet and saw the guy break the State record for the mile (new record is 4:06 for those in the know). They asked for volunteers to work the class A meet, so he is going to that for free, got a t-shirt, and all for moving some hurdles around.

    Happy as a clam on his first day off.

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  23. You may have seen these, as they’ve been going around for some time:

    “found on the internet, unattributed …
    Toddler Rules:
    1. If I like it, it’s mine.
    2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
    3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
    4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
    5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
    6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
    7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
    8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
    9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically
    becomes mine.
    10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.”

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    1. My son caught on video his 22-month-old son for the first time reading a book to himself, a car book, saying “car,” his favorite “mine,” and making siren and car sounds. A treasure to capture that exact moment.

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    3. I know someone, who, when he was a toddler/preschooler and played with my oldest at our house, would do stuff like grab whatever toy my daughter had and pull it away “You have to SHARE – I’m a guest.” Of course, at his house the rule was different – he didn’t have to share because it was his house and he made the rules.

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  25. for sons birhday yesterday he asked everyone to do a haiku in place of the usual stuff. it was interesting and i thought i would plug it into the summer rotation on the trail.

    it is third thursday
    haiku challenge is in place
    go baboons write good

    what do you think?

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  26. i was in a meeting with a guy the other morning and he is a personal assistant for jeff johnson who ran for governor in minnesotas gop run off last time around. jeff was the most reasonable of the gop offerings and this guy comes off that way too.
    he said the 17 new laws passed by the legislature were critised as too few and maybe they were but he offered an interesting idea. today every law that gets introduced is 326 pages long with this and that added onto it and all sorts of complicated nuances to consider and realize the ramifications of. he said we already have a jillion laws in place and there has been a suggestion that for every law that gets added on should be removed. i liked that
    truth is i dont pay attention to a lot of the stuff that is in place now. i kind of do what i want unless ther is a police officer standing next to me then i either resist or wait for them to move. i googled rules and this popped up and it reminded me there are good rules too
    treat other the way you want to be treated is a rule to hang your hat on.

    http://tinyurl.com/pnzjxlk

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  28. I would suspend the rule that rainy nights are followed by giant weeds of supernatural strength. I would like to just look at my garden once in a while instead of waging mortal battle every time I go outside.

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    1. I saw an article about organic ways of dealing with weeds
      Pour boiling water on them got my attention
      I knew a flamethrower did it Littleton be romantic torch but a teapot is a great alternative

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      2. There’s so many tenacious weeds here (i’m looking at you, creeping charlie – and several other kinds of weeds) that I’m afraid my water bill would be astronomical if I poured boiling water on all the weeds. I was going to put down a lot of mulch this spring, well, that didn’t happen. I’m just going to hack down things that are choking out or are taller than what I’m trying to grow and not go for perfection. I don’t live in the suburbs, so I think I’m okay. I just have to make peace with losing the battle.

        OT – anyone want some fresh tarragon? My tarragon plant is about 3 feet tall and almost as wide. I’m not giving away the plant, but I could bring some snippings to book club next Sunday.

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        2. okie-dokie. i will do my best to remember to bring some. if YOU remember, remind me.

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        3. Yes, but the leftover water for tea is mighty fine on that place between sidewalk pavers out the backdoor where the weeds come up.

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        4. i have it envisioned coming out the spout of a tea pot as opposed to being poutred out the side of a spaghetti pot so you are directional as can be woiht application
          damdilions. thistle that type of thing can be directly applied to a 1 inch area and nail the tap root
          creeping charlie not a good solution.

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        5. I’ve done this but it’s really only good for weeds growing up between the cracks of the sidewalk and that kind of thing – not for weeds that are mingled in with stuff you don’t want to kill. It does work, although it’s not a permanent solution – you’ll need to do it again after a month or so.

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  29. Here’s one law I wish were different-“Cutworms are merciless”. I also wish bunnies craved nothing but weeds and left parsley and cabbage alone so we didn’t have to put up chicken wire fences.

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  30. Here is a rule I like. “When you have been to church and all the gardening is done and the apricot-cherry crumble is baked and the French bread is set to rise, it is ok to have a glass of sauvignon blanc and take a nap.”

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    1. I need to make a new rule for myself: never leave home for a graduation/wedding/ name-your-trigger without a hankie.

      Lovely graduation at the s&h’s school today, but oh will we miss those seniors!

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  31. i saw the nothern lights art night is next saturday for the all night freebie art crawl dale told us about a year or two ago. . sounds like fun but you all may need a nap before book club. i am going to ake one before my daughters birthday

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  32. If my understanding of Dale’s sabbatical is correct, as of tomorrow we’re on our own. So this is it – at least for the next three months! I’m not clear on what action we need to take in order to continue the blog in the interim. So this may be the last blog that just magically appears?

    Thanks, Dale, for a wonderful ride as long as it lasted. I hope your sabbatical full of insights and inspiration.

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  33. so here we are it 6 and i have checked a couple of times to find nothing new to

    dale did say in his last communication there was a place to go for those listed as contributing folks to post a new blog . maybe thats what needs to be done.

    otherwise the rebirthing of trail
    baboon is about to occur if we choose.

    Rebirthing-breathwork is a type of breathwork invented by Leonard Orr. Rebirthing’s practitioners claim that the technique can heal suppressed emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, etc. Orr proposed that correct breathing can cure disease and relieve pain.

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    1. So is this the part where our Upper-midwesternness takes hold and nobody posts something new because they don’t want to step on the toes of the other person they are sure was going to post and would be quietly offended if someone else did?

      S&h noted that no one was going to take the last piece of cake at graduation either…..no, he didn’t take it either. Born in Minnesota he was.

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