Poems, Words

What Rhymes With Affluenza?

51 Comments
Header image from free Photobank www.tOrange.us / CC by 4.0

Around water coolers everywhere, the strange tale of the “Affluenza Teen” is all the rage right now.

Ethan Couch, while still a minor, sought to evade responsibility for causing four deaths while driving drunk by using the defense that his pampered upbringing left him unable to tell the difference between right and wrong.

He managed to avoid jail time with an extended probation, but when it began to look like he would be prosecuted for violating the terms of the probation, Ethan and his mother fled to Mexico.

Yesterday, Tonya Couch was returned to the U.S.  Ethan has appealed his extradition and will remain in Mexico a while longer while authorities work out the details.

He will most certainly be returned, to much fanfare and derision.

When Trail Baboon singsong poet laureate Tyler Schuyler Wyler learned of this  sad (but uniquely American) story, he thought the topic was weighty enough to be worth at least three limericks.

I
Affluenza is quite a disease.
When you’ve got it, you do what you please.
but the symptoms ain’t bad
if your mom and your dad
keep on paying the lawyers their fees.

II
A pampered young man and his mum,
were so careless and reckless and dumb.
they made national news
which essentially proves
too much cake makes a good child a crumb.

III
A young Texan explained, in his view,
He was over-indulged as he grew.
The disease that he got
made him easy to spot.
As the guy with the privileged flu.

What’s YOUR excuse?

51 thoughts on “What Rhymes With Affluenza?”

  1. a rich kids kills folks but lamented
    some keen legal minds hired and rented
    avoided court order
    sent him south of the border
    with a ridiculous defense as presented

    Liked by 6 people

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    1. Husband and I are doing a family therapy work shop in February for the Interlake Branch of the SD Counselling Association. This case would be fascinating to assess from different family therapy perspectves.

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

  4. nice to see tyler schuyler wyler back in the saddle on the new years day. thanks dale for rounding him up.

    im initiating guest blog sign up for 2016

    dale used to go on vacation and we covered it . now we are not getting regular posts because lord know when or if the next one is coming.

    how about a monday wednesday friday offering until we get into the swing of things. i will commit to a post to be in 2 days early to be posted on mondays for the month of january. does anyone want to commit or the first wednesday and friday of january and we will get caught up on the rest of january as we go?
    love reading comments but 3 or 4 days is not the way to do it between posts if we want to continue.

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      1. not looking fror a post week. my idea is two a week or 8 a month out of the trail population. i will commit to one a week and leave sign up available for others to fill the slots so we dont go 2 weeks on 2 posts. if you took the 2nd friday and bor took one and steve took one that would leave 5 more and we could guilt wessew and chris in otwatanna into doing one and cynthia ben and linda and plain jane and jim and bill couud do one every two or three weeks and wed be set. to have a dr baboon or a tsw or a trail post come through is always a plus but obviously we need a plan b.
        give me on every three weeks renee and ill be elated.
        i feel like mickey rooney trying to put on the show

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        1. I’m happy to commit to making a serious effort. What I am not sure I can deliver is an acceptable final product, as some of my ideas are weak and don’t make it to a published blog.

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        2. No “guilt trip” necessary for me but I haven’t a clue as to how to proceed. And while I’m honored for even being considered for such inclusion, my writing skills are quite limited.

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        3. wessew. as to how to write a blog for the day. come up with a thought and write some stuff about it. we will comment. thats the essence of it. as you get a post or two listed you get better at it or like me remain consistently so so. your writing style is fun and easy to respond to. give it a try. dale uses news and science of the day. i use thoughts that pop into my head. reneee finds a topic worth discussing sherilee has a fulla assembled opening middle and conclusion and that works too. other list factoids and trip details. go for it

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        1. I’m okay with the way Dale is managing it now with some days not covered when Dale and the rest of us have other things to do. That’s my suggestion which is only a suggestion and I will wait to see if Dale has any plan other than the way he is currently operating.

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    3. That’s a good idea, tim. I can do one post, maybe two, even though you didn’t mention me in the list below 🙂

      I’ll aim to have one ready to publish by the end of this coming week (but Dale can use it whenever, assuming it’s good enough). That is, if I start to feel better; ever since I returned from KC on sunday, I’ve been mostly in bed with sore throat, cough, aching body, etc. I feel about 8% better today than yesterday, and yesterday was the worst day so far, so perhaps I’m on the mend (crossing my fingers).

      Liked by 1 person

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        1. Thanks, Steve. Pretty sure I developed an ear infection today. My left ear Hurts! Pressure and a ringing in the ear. Of course this happened about 20 minutes after the urgent care centers closed for the day. Thank goodness for online diagnosis and 24-hour pharmacies.

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        2. Actually I lied. The treatment plan says I will recover on my own. No prescription for me. Meanwhile I alternate Tylenol and ibroprofen every 3 hours and let them know if I don’t feel better in 3 days. So if anyone wants to message me in the middle of the night to distract me from the pain, feel free.

          You don’t really need to do that, I’m just feeling very sorry for myself.

          Liked by 1 person

        1. thought you sad you can not commit renee. thanks lets try it if you and i and bir do some and the rest of the trial throws in a bit then we dont have be angry with jacque for sluffing

          Liked by 1 person

    1. a guy named jim moved the city
      from walnut grove and its a pity
      hes got a work load to do
      and his wife says so too
      his excuses are all really shitty

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  8. OT- Car update.
    My old battery got put back in in time for me to get to the 4 o’clock showing of The Force Awakens, which I very much enjoyed (and I am now able to converse in polite geek society without fear of someone spoiling it for me).

    On Tuesday the car goes back to have the new battery installed at which point the tech guy will “flash” the car so it can stop fretting that the new battery is not exactly the same as the old one (who knew hybrid batteries were old Lutherans). Mind you, I only wish I could save the money by “flashing’ the car myself. If I thought it would work, I would actually do it :).

    Liked by 3 people

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      1. i checked. nothing there. you might go to the oreily auto parts store and ask for help hooking up the obd anayliser to tell you hwhats going on in the engine. thye may be able to tell you how or what to do to get it done. is the guy whos saying he will do it charging lots or are you just trying to save a couple of bucks. to me the install should include the needed stuff to make the install work. why would you pay him to swap batteries if he knew it was going to work poorly unless or until he tweaked it. sounds lame to me.

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  9. I grew up in south Minneapolis
    It was really quite dandy and happilous
    No excuses for me
    Nor lies can’t you see
    I don’t need them, I ain’t killed no one, thankfulous.

    Or

    When you’re not brought up rich with a spoon
    In your mouth nor with parents who swoon
    At each word that you speak
    Nay, no “c’est magnifique!”
    Right from wrong are quite easy (no fool’n)

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. ‘m okay with the way Dale is managing it now with some days not covered when Dale and the rest of us have other things to do. That’s my suggestion which is only a suggestion and I will wait to see if Dale has any plan other than the way he is currently operating.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. “Flashing” just involves stripping to your skin and running past someone like David Niven. While this is perhaps not the ideal season to flash your car, it would be cheaper than hiring a mechanic to do it for you.

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    2. That was my thought, but if it didn’t work, I might wish I had just paid the guy.

      Compared to the battery, the flasher is cheap.

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  13. There once were some parents in Texas,
    Who thought nothing of buying a Lexus
    for their son, way too young,
    too addicted, and and dumb,
    and now they must enter defenses.

    Liked by 3 people

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  16. My excuses are for sins of omission
    Because I’ve been in such godawful condition
    I have such bad aches and pains
    That I’m left with zero ambition

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

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