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Beechly Gives His Trump Speech

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Today’s post comes from Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing Minnesota’s 9th district – all the water surface area in the state.

Greetings constituents!

As the district thaws out for spring 2016, I’m encouraged to see many of our residents still honoring the tradition of having a contest around when the ice will ultimately leave their local lake.

Once my dad and his friends dragged a broken-down 1940 Studebaker Champion out about a quarter mile from shore to see how long it would take for the thing to drop.

But that was back in the day when nobody would complain if you tossed a car in the water and left it there.

We don’t do that kind of oil-slicked, gravity-based, gambling anymore, but I’ve been running into a lot of people lately who want to know the same thing about Donald Trump – as in: “He’s big, he’s an eyesore, he’s been sitting way out there for a long, long time – when is he finally going to disappear beneath the waves?”

I’ve been around elections far too long to feel OK predicting the political demise of anyone.  Oh, demise comes to all politicians, but just like comedy, timing is the key!

Recently, the Republican Party establishment has been outspoken about trying to hasten the end of the Trump candidacy, with no real effect.

I think people are beginning to realize that Trump is a NEW kind of political animal – one that feeds on our scorn!   It used to be that pure, focused criticism destroyed careers.   The most successful kind of politician tried to be loved by virtually everybody and negative comments ate away at their support.   Donald Trump has turned that equation on its head.  You can’t defeat Trump by disapproving of him because that just makes him stronger.  Attention is the fuel he runs on, so the only way to weaken him is to pretend that he is boring!

That’s why, whenever I see Trump on one of my many screens, I force myself to yawn.

At first it felt odd, but it became easier and now it’s almost automatic.  I’m actually starting to think he IS boring.

I’m not saying it will change things overnight, but in the same way children work to save Tinker Bell by clapping, I think we can send Trump back into the  murky depths of Lake  Biggity with a coordinated,  open-mouthed, closed-eyed campaign.

Like internet cat videos, yawning is contagious and potentially viral.  And even if it doesn’t change the election,  it might help distressed Americans get the rest they so desperately need!

What popular fascination do you find boring?  

 

73 thoughts on “Beechly Gives His Trump Speech”

      1. I don’t particularly care for any of the “reality” shows. I’m proud to say that I never watched a minute of Jersey shore or Housewives of Beverly hills.

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  2. Great idea, Dale!!! Well, I should say, “Great idea, Beechly!!!” You have it right. Boring, boring, you are boring, Donald and I hope you sink soon just like those cars that were once put out on the ice.

    I hope all those people who over use the word, awesome, will not be too offended when I yawn every time they use that word. Okay, maybe I will not do that or maybe I will.

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  5. Anyone else having problems this morning with posting a comment?
    I posted a response, which was, “spectator sports” but it didn’t show up and when I tried to post it again, WordPress tells me it’s already posted. But it isn’t.

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    1. No, not with posting today. That happened once last week. However, I keep wanting the posts to show up in my mailbox. I sign up, it works for two days, and then it disappears again. Yesterday the post did not show up on the website. WP does not like me anymore. I am so busy right now, I just don’t have time to mess with it if it does not show up on time, so I miss out.

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    1. I don’t even think of mummies, zombies and vampires as fantasy. They’re in a group all by themselves.

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  7. i am not a fan of video games and i find the new xacivity of watching someone else play video games just plain odd. i used to find it odd when my sons friends would sit around the tv and cheer the two guys who were actually watching. now i understandd there are events bigger than the suer bowl watching the champion pong player trying to get a high score.
    well…. maybe not pong.

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  9. it was richard nixon as the world started coming down around him who began speaking in third person. trump does it as a matter of daily practice.
    i find it boring to watch a windbag release its flatulation. bernie winning kids with promises of free whatever and trump winning the under educated with promises of walls and waterboarding its a situation where poppycock wins out. i find it interesting with all the fact checking and discussion possible that bill o reily rush limbagh and the donald all get to say its true and make the right wingers believe its true just by repeating it.
    instead of looking at the reality we are bombarded with balderdash and it is boring boring boring. give me music and ill pass on the news thank you very much

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  10. This is a subject I could be grumpy about at great length, so let’s just say “nearly all of mainstream culture” and have done with it.

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  12. I want to say Facebook, but that’s not quite accurate. I find some stuff quite interesting (enough to Share), but I have to wade through the muck from, say, old acquaintances from my teens – I don’t want to unfriend them, but can no longer figure out how not to see their prolific postings… so I get on as little as possible. Confession – I’m a sucker for cat videos, though.

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  13. This topic makes me squirm. But I face something nasty today, so I’ll be brief. I’m bored by just about everything mentioned so far, plus I’ll add Twitter and (boy, this hurts!) most pop music, especially rap, hip hop, techno and club music.

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      1. I was a teen when rock music was just becoming popular. Stuffy, priggish preachers were telling us that rock was the music of the devil. People had bonfires to burn rock records. I loved the new music and felt myself implacably opposed to the self-appointed critics. Now I find myself thrust into a similar position as the creepy, clueless old farts who hated the music of my youth.

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        1. For the most part, I lost interest in rock music in the late sixties and haven’t paid much attention to it since. I’ve gravitated to a lot of different styles of music over the years. With few exceptions, rock hasn’t been one of them. No apologies, no regrets.

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        2. What bothers me, Bill, is not disliking today’s music. What bothers me is taking a big step into geezerhood by feeling alienated by virtually all pop music. I don’t want to be that guy.

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        3. Since I started on that path in my early twenties, I don’t feel as if my musical preferences signify anything about my geezerhood.

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    2. check out vidku meetings option. a `17 second video to respond to the issue and get on with it. there may be hundreds of responses but you have to hit the go button to listen to them

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  15. Reality TV, video games, meaningless conversation, etc. Crow Girl got it right — most mainstream culture. But I do so love science fiction, fantasy and um … I don’t know about vampires. Jury is still out on that one, but i have to admit a morbid fascination with that.

    My middle son loves gaming and enjoys watching these “championships” of folks who play online games against each other. it’s even moderated by some geeks just like the Super Bowl. Very strange indeed.

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  16. It’s good to hear from the Congressman again – for once, I think he’s on to something.

    The other popular fascination I can’t be bothered with is smart phones. I have a dumb phone, so I suppose I can’t speak to the fascination. But I wish people could pull themselves away when, say, their child is tugging at their clothing as they are about to cross the street.

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  17. Guess I should be ashamed to admit that I have no clue what people are fascinated by these days. However, that is nothing new for me; I’m so thoroughly accustomed to younger people talking about things I have no idea about. Perhaps it’s sour grapes, but so many of the things that have fascinated my peers over the years, have made very little impression on me.

    I am, however, aware of Donald Trump. He seems to be everywhere. What completely escapes me is what his appeal is. I’m mystified.

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  18. Received a letter from our tax account’s company. they were hacked. Our entire financial life has been breached. Oh, the places I must go, the hours I must wait, the work I must do.

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  19. Two of my top picks for Drumpf (his original family name) yesterday: “I can be more presidential than anybody, if I want to be,” Trump said. “More presidential than anybody, other than the great Abe Lincoln. He was very presidential.” Comparing himself to the best president in history, then saying “If I want” blew me away.

    My second favorite was his response to an interviewer who pressed him on his plan for getting rid of ISIS. “Well, I don’t want to talk about it because then they’ll know my plan”.

    You can’t make this stuff up.

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  21. Most of what’s on TV (with a handful of exceptions….Downton Abbey was one of them and now it’s done…sniff…), sports ball, reality TV…a lot of what has been mentioned. Current pop and rap, though has a few gems (really, it does Steve!). Went and saw local rap/spoken word/hip hop artist Dessa on Tuesday night – she’s fabulous. You need to pick and choose a bit, but there are some gems out there on the radio dial.

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    2. I agree, Dessa is fabulous. I’d also not consider her your run of the mill rap star. Very, very talented young woman.

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  22. i am reminded that my snooty attitude is waht happens when you get old. my 22 ( 23 on monday) year old gives me crap for not listening to bernie. i laugh and tell him thats what he is supposed it say. i blow off rappers but i saw bob dylan saying thats where al the true oets are today talking about meaningful issues with fresh voices cudos to people wo keep their brains fresh. i tend to do what i tend to do. the definition of an old fart

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      1. that reminds me of the joke where the guy goes into the doctor and say wow doc i am having a lot of gas but when i fart it doesnt make any noise and it doesnt smell. the doctor asks him to hold on a minute and returns with a large stainless steel syringe and a pot of hot water. he uses the syringe to suck up some hot water and injects it into the ear canal of the patient and in doing so dislodges a big ball of ear wax. the patient exclaimed that he was surprised and let go with a big old fart and the booming sound resounded through out the room . wow that was loud said the patient. ok now said the doctor let see if we can work on your nose next.
        im not sure it matters if it has gone to hell or if it only feels that way. what is the difference. it is 100% perspective.

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        2. “Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
          instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
          fell on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.” Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

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    1. Actually Clyde….. I can’t think of any that you’ve mentioned that I thought were boring. In fact, at the last book club I chatted up the book about the two guys who bicycled around England with no money in their pocket!

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    1. That’s just how I feel. It is a real struggle for me to do anything worthwhile about the yard/garden in the fall. Plant fall bulbs? Hardly ever happens.

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  28. I talked to my daughter last night to learn how she is mending after her auto accident. She’s doing well. She could easily ding the insurance company of the kid who hit her with thousands of dollars for the bruising and soreness she is feeling, but she refuses to do that. “I won’t be that person.”

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  30. BIR– That is a GREAT question!
    Right now I’m making some spread sheets showing actual production costs at one of the theaters in town. We got totals from the treasurer but we wanted to see the actual costs.
    I am not an accountant in real life, but I do play one onstage and it’s been kinda fun pulling numbers together and making a nice tidy spreadsheet that covers everything.
    Go back in and futz with categories and break it down in different ways.
    Having ‘just-the-right’ numeric keypad makes all the difference in the world!

    Emptying the dishwasher also appeals to my sense of organization. All the forks this direction, all the spoons this way, all the small glasses there and big glasses there. Hate filling the dishwasher, but love to empty it.
    (how my daughter can use SO MUCH silverware in a day is beyond me!)

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  32. I’ve just checked out a book called “Lingo: Around Europe in Sixty Languages”, which I’m sure would bore many people to tears, but the one chapter I’ve read is fascinating. May make a boring blog post some day…
    On that note, I didn’t get one in to Dale today as planned, but should be able to finish tomorrow.

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  33. Occasionally when I tell someone I do volunteer work preparing taxes, they will tell me that sounds really boring. I don’t find it so. When you put together a tax return for someone, it’s a kind of biography. A snapshot of where they live, who they live with, how they spend their days.

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