Family, The Baboon Congress

i am rich in children

65 Comments

today’s post comes from tim

sorry to rub it in but i do have the best kids in the world. devin is in reno tara is in hell spencer is in limbo olivia is in transition and emma is in denial.

each is my favorite at every moment.

fullsizerenderdevin and tara came form my first marriage and instead of beng taught not to lose one glove like the younger three learned they like me often have mismatched gloves hopefully a right and a left but not always. the weather turned cold and i went out to find the matched gloves in the tupperware tub in the garage (i knew where to look) when i went to pt them by the dog walking door i noticed spencers pristine choppers. id kill for a pair of those. i ahve always wanted a paiir but the last couuple of years have been a money challange so instead of buying functional stuff i by dog food and pay for music lessons.

img_6330it was so fun doing a life of globetrotting and high life and i thought i wild be there forever and now that i know its not that easy i am really going to savor it in another olittle while when i am back amongst the action folk instead of the reaction folk. two letters makes all the difference. instead of doing whats right you need to do what you need to do.

my biggest contribution to their upbringing as i have mentioned before is to show them how not to do it. i think they have enough examples and i look forward to filling the other side of the ledger.

 

 

 

 

65 thoughts on “i am rich in children”

    1. So, “What’s the question?” Is the question. I challenge you all–what should the question be at the end of tim’s post? Then you can answer it too.

      Free form today. and in the spirit of tim, no caps.

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  2. Perhaps we should all give an answer and then at the end of the day we will be able to extrapolate the question.Here are my answers. I and another teacher wrote this years ago. I found this jumble a fitting answer to tim’s nonquestion.

    All-Purpose Cheat Sheet

    We all attended schools.
    We followed all the rules
    Giving answers sure and smart:
    1. True
    2. False
    3. No
    4. Yes
    We knew what was our part.

    “Perhaps,” “maybe” not to say.
    The game we did learn to play
    of choosing answers ala carte.
    5. 1492
    6. 1066
    7. 3.1416
    8. George Washington
    We gave no answer from the heart.

    a squared plus b squared equals c squared,
    to others forever compared.
    Each could not find the right way.
    9. Boyle’s Law
    10. Ohm’s Law
    11. Battle of Gettysburg
    12. develop not develope

    When we were asked what to say,
    the answer in the teacher’s head
    was where discussion lead.
    We always took careful notes.
    13. ;
    14. ‘
    15. C Major
    16. Beethoven

    At the end of the day we put on coats.
    Went home to fill in answer sheets
    with answers always clear and neat.
    Sometimes, rarely were asked why or how.
    17. Rembrandt.
    18. Two-point perspective
    19. Covalent bonds
    20. Shakespeare

    Little of this is useful now.
    I would get quickly confused,
    if any of this I used,
    to live a fuller life,
    to be true with husband or wife.
    To problem solve;
    With stress not dissolve.
    On my feet quickly think;
    my health keep in the pink.
    Work with others, work alone;
    live life closer to the bone.
    Find what is my place,
    not get caught in the madding race,
    treat others with smiling grace,
    one day my death to face.

    21. A
    22. B
    23. C
    24. D
    25. E
    26. A and B but not C and D
    27. All of the above.
    28. None of the above.
    By age of thirty I did know
    things change, we do grow.
    I think now I should have said:
    29. Sometimes maybe A but I’m not sure.
    30. Or E is not an answer quite so pure.
    31. D might be right when the light is right.
    32. Could I think about it over night?
    33. C I know is what you want me to say.
    But I thought of a better answer that day.
    To fill in all of the white
    As my fancy took off in flight.

    No. I gave the answers you told me show.
    Not the right answer: “I don’t know.”

    Liked by 9 people

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  4. rise and shine baboons!

    my question, “what is the best example of a mistake you would tell your kids not to do?”

    me? don’t get married too young. let yourself be an adult for awhile before making a commitment like that.

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        1. my problem was not age it was judgement. nice woman but wrong wrong wrong for a life together. she has successfully maintained her misery without me being a part of ot for another 25 years since my departure.

          Liked by 2 people

    2. If I were to advise young people about marriage, I’d tell them, that without some help understanding their first marriage, they’re likely to go from one extreme to the other extreme. That’s, of course, assuming most first marriages ending in divorce lead to a second marriage!

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  5. At one point in my daughter’s adolescence I realized I was in a panic because she seemed to be making the same mistake I made at her age. I wanted to prevent that. But then I remembered that making mistakes and learning from them is the right of each kid, just as it had once been my right. Screwing up and learning lessons is how we live and grow. There is nothing tragic about kids getting things wrong when they are young. I decided it was not my job to prevent my kid from getting things wrong. It was my job to help her avoid the most dangerous mistakes and to ultimately become stronger by reflecting on things when her first efforts didn’t go so well.

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        2. It’s funny. I think about this all the time, although I’ve not been a parent in a significant way for several decades. My conviction, which grows stronger as I age, is that less is more when it comes to protect and control one’s child. The goal is not protection but fostering the strength and wisdom in the child to protect herself and choose well. I now think it is easy to be a distracted parent when kids are young and really need you, but to be overly involved as they age and need you to back off. Just my opinion. And since the only kid I parented is wonderful, I’m an expert!

          Liked by 3 people

  6. this is the problem with having dale at arms length. this is not the post i thought i sent. i sent dale one and puut on one the word press sight. the pictres went to dale and the post is a different one than the one i thought i posted.
    it is ok to have this one pop up today and the pictures of the girlks works sort of.
    thanks to everyoine for the daily offerings. it is so nice to have fresh ones even if they are not the ones i intended.
    i have now shone the trail how not to submit a guest blog. wrong words , pictures intended for a different post and the blog didnt copy in its entirity.
    dales well edited trail has gone to hell in a handbasket and i represent that remark.
    thanks baboons.
    i have another i will figure out how to submit about the girls again.

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        1. I love that, tim. That’s one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child, the sense that they’re loved and valued.

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    2. I wish we could always hit “reply” directly under the post we’re responding to, but this is my reply to Steve’s post. My experience unfortunately is that as my kids get older, I need them more than they need me. Their careers are booming while mine has gone to weed, leaving me feeling increasingly boring around them. When they recently had “the talk” about my driving being unstable, it made me feel 85 and like I’m fading into a downhill slide.

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  7. I married at 20, had daughter at 21…never thought I was too young as it was what I wanted and felt ready at the time. Finished college when she was in school.
    My scary parenting time was during her teen years in HS. She grew much taller than me and had her fathers “Coach” voice ‘at’ me…times when he’d flown somewhere with work.I don’t like confrontation and wasn’t always an effective parent or so I thought. I believed in her and told her. She later out of guilty conscious showed me a scrapbook with photos of she and her mates expeditions to Mexico for the night…we lived in San Jaquan Capistrano CA. (She was spending the night at a friends?) I didn’t get mad…I was grateful for her truthfulness and that they always had a designated driver. The one time she came home drunk and sick…her friend brought her home. Suspicious that the friend came to say hello-hoping to sneak daughter to her room…I came out to greet them both. Again I did not get mad. I fixed something for her to help her stomach(she had heaved) and just said she had to go to work the next morning…this would be no excuse. She went dispite not feeling to great. Evidentially never go drunk again…even now in her adult life.

    I’m the proud mother of a great daughter who has given me three outstanding grandchildren…a Fr & Sr. in HS and a Soph. in college…all taller than me. (6ft.+!)

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    1. My children confessed to me a few thinks in adulthood, mostly that they peeked in wrapped Christmas presents, which actually seemed to me then a violation of trust, but I did not say so.

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    2. I was 26 when I married, slilyss, and smug about being wise enough to have done it well. The next decades were a complicated process of learning how tricky marriage can be. I now think there is no age at which people are smart enough to choose well–26 or 46 or 66. It takes too long to know one’s own character and needs, plus it is terribly complicated to anticipate what happens when two people grow up while yoked to one another, both of them changing all the time. I now think it is far better to be lucky than wise when choosing a partner. That might sound cynical to some, but it is as hopeful as my experiences allow me to be.

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  8. Even when we mess up it is good! Work is delayed today until 10. The plows have not yet cleared our street, so I will crash through the drifts to get there. I just hope the parking lot has been plowed.

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  11. That was fun tim.

    We have pretty great kids. Even though Amelia is too much like me so that she drives me crazy. She’s opinionated and stubborn and she always thinks she has to have the last word. We know how to push each others buttons. She’s a great kid.

    I hope you all won’t judge me for this: evidently I said to my son once (I don’t remember this but he clearly does) ‘You can do whatever you want, just DON’T JOIN THE MILITARY.’
    Freshman year of college he calls and says he’s looking at joining the Marines. Hadn’t said a word about it in the intervening years…
    Figures… you tell me not to do something, I’ll figure out how to do it.

    He didn’t, but he has gone into law enforcement. Currently working security at HCMC and in the running for a spot with the Minneapolis Police Department.

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    1. i remember through the motivational training over the years that a great example of how not to do it is

      try to get something done by stating not to do the unwanted thing

      the focus becomes the unwanted thing instead of the wanted thing
      i hope if your son goes into law enforcement he is the guy who can make the difference. i hate the macho cop. i like a community cop paul welstone personality rather than a schwarzenegger wannabe

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        1. I wish your son well, Ben. This is surely the most complicated moment in history for a good person to be a cop. Black lives matter. Blue lives matter. Cops often face ethically complicated moments, and they don’t have much time to make decisions that have terrible consequences. We need good cops now, as never before.

          Liked by 3 people

        2. Yeah Steve… we keep thinking that too. But it’s what he wants to do. He’s always been the guy who doesn’t go crazy at the party, but stands off to the side making sure the rest of them don’t get too crazy…

          Liked by 4 people

    2. It’s funny how some kids “follow in their father’s footsteps”. Notice I didn’t say “mothers” because I’ve rarely seen that. My 51-year old daughter and her ex have both been natural body builders since youth. All five of her kids are personal trainers in the sport and health nuts when it comes to nutrition as well. I suppose that makes sense since both parents modeled this lifestyle for them? This spring, Mary and four of her brood are actually competing in the same contest. They’ve urged me for years to get in shape and also compete with them, but I’m too unmotivated. Having Conner living here, I’m constantly harassed about not joining the team of healthy lifestylers

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    4. wow, good for him, ben. i, too, wish him well. minneapolis could use some level-headed, smart, nonracist (not nonracist in the sense that everyone says they’re not racist but truly nonracist), friendly, fair cops. as could many other cities.

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  12. are you a person who never looses a glove or do you know you will go through 27 pairs every year? when next season rolls around do you swap the box full of shorts and t shirts for the box full of sweatshirts and sweaters? or do you have to dig to figure out where it went again?

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    2. I would use a heck of a lot less gloves and mittens if other people didn’t swipe them from my basket and never return them.

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  13. I sound like I am complaining about my kids. I am not. I am complaining about me. The oddity that few who knows us understand is that my daughter is very much like me and our son is much like Sandy, although she picked up her mother’s excellent social skills and he picked up my curiosity and language skills.
    The thing I am the most proud about them is that they would rather travel and have adventures and enjoy the arts that own stuff, although that was a part of the failure of my son’s marriage.

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  15. OT re health in this house: went to my GP and he gave me the report of the EMG and other test (Cannot remember the acronym). It explains my lack of hand control and pain in my shoulders, arms and hands. I have carpel tunnel in both hands, have nerve damage in both wrists, have nerve damage in vertabra 4 through 7 effecting shoulders, pain and muscle issues.. She does not test higher but the MRI indicates the same thing. Nerve damage, not really fiaxble but we will see what the surgeon says. No muscle atrophy in hands, some in shoulder he thinks. Just something to live with, which is what I have thought all along. Old age.
    Sandy has good news. Not going to get specific, but very positive results on colon pacemaker.

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  16. Both our children are pursuing careers in Mental Health treatment. Daughter claimed my play therapy equipment after I retire. Son prefers to work with adults.

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  18. As a child I wore gloves under mittens, for warmth and so I could take off the mittens if I needed more dexterity. But the mittens seldom matched because I did not care and because a mitten would get lost or worn out. Logging tended to tear up mittens. It was a family joke. But I had a good pair to wear to school.Sandy buys me navy blue and black socks in the same style. Need I explain where that leads to?

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  19. I can usually find a matching pair of winter gloves. Gardening gloves are a different matter. I never have two that match.

    I have a cat that steals socks from me. Wish I knew what she does with them. I suppose they will turn up someday.

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