Family, Stories

Moving the Bed

63 Comments

Today’s post comes to us from Barbara in Rivertown.

We just got back from visiting my mom. Her room in the nursing home is pretty long and narrow, and her bed was in the farthest corner from both the entrance and the bathroom. She’s been after me for weeks – not every visit because she doesn’t always remember, but often enough – to rearrange so that the bed goes crosswise and is closer to both of the doors. I had gotten the OK from the appropriate staff, and Husband was with me Sunday, and so we moved the bed, a shelf, and a little table into new positions.

I can’t remember when she has been so animated, and pleased. She was thrilled that the arrangement makes the room feel cozier, and although the bed is really only a few steps closer to the above mentioned places, it FEELS closer to her, and that’s what counts. What I suspect feels the best is that she still has some say over one aspect of her life.

Is there any part of your life you feel in control of?

63 thoughts on “Moving the Bed”

  1. i feel like being in control is all i’ve got sometimes. when the things pile up and feel like they are trying to beat you over the head with reality the ability to choose how to react and respond is key

    when 400 things need to be addressed and each feels like a urgent task the ability to choose is all you have. priortizarion and follow through is what i can control what my life is about these days
    my wife comes from the base that lives by the philosophy that if you prepare for the worst and expect nothing then you aren’t so disappointed when your dreams are not falling into place, it is the number one challenge in my life. she has not had it easy. her family was 9-5ers who had a steady paycheck to count on and very low level of allowed dreaming
    i decided at age 16 that i would chart my own course and be ready to respond to stuff as it came and celebrate or hunker down as the cycle decreed.
    charting the course is my control
    if steering the ship to determine the destinatuon isn’t the ultimate control i don’t know what is.
    i took a job a couple months ago and asked for a title of new project guru
    my card was handed to me yesterday with
    tim jones
    strategy development manager

    as the punchline

    what do you call my approach to life and how control plays into it?

    strategy development for life
    steer that rudder a little to the left
    a little to the right into the gale approaching and hopefully to a successful arrival at the destination before setting out again
    i feel like my choice to

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    1. how you respond determines what happens
      never mind the past 2 minutes ago or two weeks ago it’s what’s next you have to deal with

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  4. I am in Bozeman, MT with daughter and husband on our way to Tacoma. I don’t think I will feel in control of my life until I am back home. The trip is going well, but I will be glad to get this girl settled and then turn her loose. My life has been daughter centric for months now.

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  5. Bill has it right. What I keep hearing is “Gee, you’re being a good sport about this.” “This” has many meanings: old age, a wonky heart, failing vision, poverty, arthritis, an unplanned move to Michigan or auditory challenges.

    Things I can’t change.

    But I still can smile.

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  6. Off the subject…or perhaps not as one has control over decisions such as ….Cynthia is having hip replacement surgery today. I don’t think I’m overstepping her privacy in telling you….wanted your positive thoughts & prayers for a speedy good recovery.

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    2. Cynthia has come through her surgery and is hungry, according to her FB posting. However, her evening meal is a disappointing clear liquid diet. Hope someone sneaks her an after midnight snack.

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      1. In my experience, the clear liquid diet is better than the “real” food the hospital offers. Hopefully, Cynthia’s hospital has better food than what I’ve experienced.

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  7. I don’t feell any control over the sale of our home but I will have control over the decision of where to live…our next home.

    I agree with Bill that one doesn’t a.ways have control over things that happen in life…but one does have control over response.

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  9. I agree that for the big things we are not much in control sometimes. But looking at my mom’s life, I realized that there are things I can appreciate being in control of, while I am still living on my own – when I get up and go to bed, what I eat, how I spend my day. I’m sure Mom gets choices at meals between two things, perhaps; but she’s pretty much on the nurses’ clock. She can usually decide whether or not to participate in an activity. She can go outside when I visit. Period.

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  10. It is in my control to go to the MPR day here in Kato. Live local classical talent. Sound good on the air. First day I have listened to MPR in years. Also in my control to stay home.

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    3. Thanks PJ– I spent the day playing with my fancy ‘Hog’ lighting console and getting ready for RCTC’s Commencement Thursday.
      So yeah, a good day with only *expected* surprises.

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  13. My 22-year old grandson moved out a month ago. It was time. After 10 months, he went on a tirade about how much I stressed him out. He’d clearly been harboring these feelings for a long time, but it came as a complete shock to me. After some much-needed reflection, I understood. He’d come home from a long day and want nothing but solitude and quiet. I was in the opposite mode, seeking conversation and sharing after a whole day with very little human interaction. No one was at fault here – it was just a stark difference between energy levels and needs: me to upload, him to download.

    What I’ve noticed since resuming my live-alone lifestyle is that there’s a sense of control that I hadn’t even noticed I’d lost along the way. I rather like knowing that I’m not irritating and stressing out anyone, truth be told.

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  15. I drove over something on the interstate near Deer Lodge, MT that instantly destroyed a front van tire while I was going 80 mph. I did not lose control of the vehicle, and it only took 45 minutes to get towed to Deer Lodge to get a replacement tire put on.

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    1. In Montana, 80 mph seems like a reasonable speed. Do you have any idea what you drove over? Glad you didn’t lose control, and none the worse for the wear.

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  16. The airlines have had control of me for the last 36 hours, but I am FINALLY where I’m supposed to be, so feeling a little more at ease. I probably try to control more things than I should although being a single mom, owner of dogs and cats as well as an old house tend the whoop that tendency right out of you!

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        1. I would not be on this ship if I weren’t here for a client. Everybody is very nice and extremely friendly, but truly, I do not need someone to carry my plate from the buffet to the table for me!

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  19. There is one that starts in the Mediterranean and ends up in Scandinavia – but that might tempt me. Ocean cruses don’t run the risk that we ran into with the river cruise- the river is either too high or too low to accommodate the ship!

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  20. I am so desperate to hide from more news about Trump that fifteen days on a boat with drunken sunburned tourists actually sounds attractive. Not that it is possible anywhere on earth to hide from Trump. If I were on a big-ass boat with no TV or radio connections to news media he’d do something like firing Pope Francis and I’d learn about it from planes skywriting the news.

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    1. The only problem in your scenario, Steve, is that all the big-ass boats have loads and loads of connections these days. Even a little boat (sorry… ship) like the one I am on is connected. Trump firing his latest lackey was on the front page of the little “newspaper” outside my cabin door this morning!

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    2. i avoided him while in china almost completely
      i did get into a discussion with a fistful of chinese millionaires who thought trump was great and i gave them my view which appeared to be the first time they had either heard or considered it.
      i keep being elated that trump is being such a tremendous example of how not to do it that maybe some of the silent majority may put two and two together and realize a few things that w and the last bunch of smoke and mirrors republicans succeeded in masking as public good tactics
      trump ain’t getting away with anything
      he is obviously making his position clear and those who love him are pleased and the rest of the world is appalled

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  22. Update on Indigo Bunting: the building maintenance man told me he had seen a bunting in the brush near my patio. So I sat on the patio with my camera. It hopped out but not in a good place to shoot. It started hopping in my direction. I did not want to spook it by taking a picture. So I waited. it was getting just about right; around the corner came a lawn mower. Funny.
    Also, I have noticed this small tan/brown little bird hopping out of the woods to feed on the ground, once or twice going up to the small seed feeder. It has been around for a week. Could not identify it. You real bird people are ready to tell me it is a female indigo bunting. So maybe they are nesting nearby. Bird books say this is ideal habitat for buntings.

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  23. VS’s comment about being able to carry her own plate reminds me of what makes me uncomfortable on a cruise – the overly luxuriousness Love the good food and wine, but I don’t need to have more food out 24/7. Don’t need the linens changed daily, etc.

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  24. I have never been on a cruise ship, and the idea of being on one of the big ones doesn’t appeal to me at all. The whole notion of a cruise ship that makes a port call in the Bahamas and unloads thousands of tourists for a few hours of whatever tourists do, sends shivers down my spine. No thanks, don’t want any part of it.

    Now buy me a ticket for the Delta Queen or the Mississippi Queen, and I’ll be gone in a heartbeat.

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  25. i enjoyed the heck out of the cruises i was on
    kids loved it
    parents loved it.
    rough seas one trip with bad weather made me appreciate the others
    i won the prize in tequila class and in vodka class wine class and cigar class
    i am scholarly on cruise topics i also excel at beach and whirlpool hammock is pretty good and all you can eat stone crab call for a bottle of white burgundy
    i got to do a prague inverness train equivalent along with budapest vienna venice bonn milan lake como and having florence for home base with a daughter who has s knowledge of what i would be interested in was wonderful
    paris layover in and out on my way was great
    ahhh i love travel
    stayed downtown vegas this week
    gritty and wonderful
    its gonna get gentrified soon i fear but it could end up cool like the north loop in nordeast minneapolis

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