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The Ministry of Silly Warnings

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I opened a bag of flour yesterday as I was finishing some batches of Lebkuchen and Ginger Spekulatius,  when I saw the silliest warning on the bag.

I never imagined that some people would sit down to a nice bowl of flour, unaware that you only eat it if it is cooked in something else.

I am a firm believer in natural consequences.  You eat raw flour, you don’t feel so good. What ever happened to the dignity of risk?  Why do we need all these warnings?

What silly warnings have you encountered lately?

26 thoughts on “The Ministry of Silly Warnings”

  1. A certain two-part flooring adhesive has a small package in the container holding moisture absorbing granules. It looks like a dishwasher pod but you can’t see the contents. “Do Not Eat” is the warning.

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  2. Maybe not silly, but funny… I saw this again recently on FB, but it was originally going around during W. Bush’s administration. It pictures a close-up of a label on the neck of a blue sweater:

    This is a clothing label from a small American company that sells their product in France. Here’s the translation of the French part of the label.
    Wash with warm water.
    Use mild soap
    Dry flat.
    Do not use bleach.
    Do not dry in the dryer.
    Do not iron.
    We are sorry that our president is an idiot.
    We did not vote for him.

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  5. We had an insulated coffee urn that had a plunger in its top. If you had coffee in this thing and pushed the plunger, coffee came shooting out. It had a label affixed to its back:

    Do not over turn product when hot liquids being insided.
    Watch out for shattered glass
    Take care for children’s treatment

    I loved that last line. I decided it was as nice as any other possible phrase for a goal in life. “Take care for children’s treatment.” And I have.

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        1. Not probably, there was a law suit. And the woman who placed the hot coffee between her thighs and drove off from the drive-in window actually won the law suit. You’d have to have a greater love for the letter of the law than common sense to see the logic of that one.

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        1. There is a sensible explanation that supports that lawsuit. It’s been a long time since I heard it, and I don’t recall most details. I remember that McDonald’s used a coffee maker that was significantly hotter than the industry standard. McDonald’s continued to sell exceptionally hot coffee in spite of several accidents that burned other customers, leading to several not-famous suits before the one that captured national headlines.

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      1. lawn morwers now have the thing that makes them need to be safe when you start them up and the blade can not go around unless you hold the handle or some thing like that because every year people would start their lawn mowers and pick them up to trim their hedges and cut their fingers off. so we better make it idiot proof. they tried outing warning signs on the lawn mowers but people said the tags were gone when they picked up the lawn mowers

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  12. God Jul, Dear Baboons. Daughter flies in to Mpls tomorrow at noon, and then she and best friend hightail it to Bismarck by late afternoon. Pray for good roads and weather. My best friend is to drive fom Mpls on Friday. I think she may be delayed.

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    1. the worst roads ever are north dakota roads in winter. the wind blows a stead blanket of snow across the state and the only way to go is to follow a semi at whatever spped he is driving and hope he stays on course as the winshield see nothing but muted tail lights through the cotton ball womb that is north dakota in a blizzard.
      too bad about your daughter having a travel day on christmas. lots of other travelers to commiserate with or celebrate with depending on the situation.

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