Family, gardening, home, Nature, Uncategorized, Weather

Role Models

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About two weeks ago, Husband and I were in the front yard veggie garden planting tomatoes and peppers. This was unusual for us, as we never, as a rule, put tender plants outside until after Memorial Day. The weather here is too unpredictable, and there is often a late frost. This year I convinced myself that it would be different, as the weather service stated the chance of frost in our region was very low for the rest of the month.

One of our neighbors stopped by to ask what we were doing. We explained, and he said it was good information, as he always watched us to see when it was time to plant. I was rather taken aback by this, and felt pretty guilty as last week, we had to cover our tomatoes and peppers because the weather service was wrong, and temperatures were predicted to reach 31 last Friday night. Moreover, there was light snow predicted, and a high wind warning. I don’t know if the neighbor took our cue and planted his garden. I sure hope not.

We dutifully covered our plants with large tarps. Nothing froze, but it made me again vow I would never plant before Memorial Day. I don’t know if I like being a role model. I make mistakes. I don’t want people to emulate my mistakes. I never had any siblings I had to be a role model for, and I can imagine it must be really annoying to be in that position.

Were you ever considered a role model for others? Who were your role models? Ever felt like a fraud?

29 thoughts on “Role Models”

  1. You and Jacque must be aware of ‘Imposter Syndrome’? It’s pretty common for theater designers. For lighting, that first rehearsal with the directors and cast and we have to start showing what we’ve done can be pretty nerve wracking. And the night before I start to doubt myself.

    I have a few role models. Gary, Paul, Thom, Tharon, my dad…

    Every now and then I’ll be referred to as a role model; it makes me uncomfortable. But it’s a good goal to aspire too I guess.

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  2. RIse and Shine, Baboons,

    My whole life people have told me I am a “role model” but for what I am not sure. It is obvious when I take on an intern or supervise people that I am that, but otherwise it always takes me by surprise. I don’t feel like a fraud, I am just bewildered.

    Otherwise I have had some lovely, caring people who were role models, as well as high profile people I did not know personally, i.e. Mary Richards who moved to Minneapolis and Carol Burnett who forged a career in a time when that was not done. Personally, Joe Brice, music teacher, Carol Austin, Social Worker, Harry Thompson and Tom Balm, Ministers, Grandma, gardener and cook.

    Then there are all those “Bad Christians” who were the opposite who induced me to pray, “Please God, don’t let me be like her//him.” Loud mouthed, know-it-alls who think they have the answers.

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  3. I always felt pressured to be the model well behaved student in elementary school since my mother was a teacher in the same school I attended. I am glad I had my father as a model for impishness.

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    1. Thank goodness I was not saddled with being the perfect student. My handwriting was sloppy and I was too talkative and distractible for that. And then there was the messy desk…

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  4. We’ve been told we’re a good example of how to be care-takers for my mom, and then our friend W. But I don’t see anything we could have done any differently…

    All kind of good role models in my life, starting with my mom and dad. Thinking…

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    1. People tell me they like to watch my feet when learning a folk dance, that I am clear in my movements and therefore it’s easy to copy my footwork. Not sure if that constitutes a “role model”. : )

      Feel/felt like a bit of a fraud when I tell people I was a hippie – I was ideologically, and looked the part, but never did much of the weed and drugs.

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  5. In a previous life- before I started truck driving at 52-I was used to praise at work. My brother too. It wasn’t difficult, often we just did the job we were supposed to do. If the boss wasn’t there, we kept on doing it. Not everyone does that. We got on and didn’t complain, and people were so used to crap that we looked better than we were. But for myself, I don’t ever recall consciously being a role model. One time Neil got involved in a pioneering household recycling outfit, that worked with the council to get people to start recycling their bottles, cans etc. Eventually he became a director. In the early days he said, they’ve got no idea what work is. Basically they were mostly airy fairy semi idealists, that is, they sat round maybe smoking a joint or two(Steve will recognise this diatribe), and not really doing much about this great mission of theirs. I’m exaggerating I admit. Neil asked me to come and drive one of the vans, and show the guys how to actually go out and pick stuff up. So I did. Neil would go out on the road too, when he had time. Nobody was impressed. My chance to be a role model failed, people just refused to do it our way.
    And I’ve never really knowingly had role models.
    I felt for years after Dad died that he was watching and criticising. But he wasn’t a role model. Hmm. Least I didn’t think so till this moment. Maybe I’ll get back to you.

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    1. From your previous entries, Stewart, I know you’re living in Spain. I’m guessing you’re English based on how you spell “recognise”. I’m wondering how you know Steve? I’m also wondering where in Spain you live, and what you’re doing there? Nice with a little foreign flavor on the blog. Welcome.

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        2. I figured it was some shared interest, but was thinking more along the lines of photography. How are you doing, Steve? Are you breathing any better?

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        3. I’ve not found anything to recommend COVID PJ. There is only one man on earth I would wish to see suffer with it, and he already had it. I have two huge machines in my bedroom concentrating oxygen. Between shortcomings of this building, our current heat wave and the machines, the temp in my bedroom is 88. Sleeping here is a challenge.

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  6. I have never considered myself a role model for others, heaven forbid, but several younger women that I know have told that I influenced them in certain ways. Likewise, I can’t think of anyone I have ever considered a role model, but there have certainly been people along the way that I have admired and tried to emulate. Most of the time I feel pretty authentic, and I find that I have gotten braver as I have gotten older. I have reached a point in my life that I know who I am, and what I believe in. I also know what I will and will not tolerate. I find it increasingly difficult to hold my tongue when someone is trying to sell me load of crap.

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  7. At work gathering two days ago a coworker announced that she was leaving the company, going to Wyoming for the summer and when she got back she wasn’t sure what she was going to do yet. This is someone I’ve worked with for about seven years and I said to her “well I’ve got to have your email and your cell phone.” Another woman standing next to us, who I’ve known for 20 years said “oh yes once Sherrilee has you, she’s got you forever. This made me so happy because this is something that I see and value in my mother. She collects people. And that’s definitely a role model area for me.

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  8. Unfortunately expectations that I be a role model for my middle sister growing up drove a wedge between us that I don’t think will ever be removed. I know I’ve mentioned before that the trope was that I was the smart one, and she was the creative one, but smart was so valued by my parents and they did a lot of unfair comparisons. I am sure they thought they were just urging her to do better, but it didn’t work out that way.

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  9. I worry about my daughter. She attracts and keeps friends, and is somehow always the person everyone relies on to make things work. In her family, she is a spark plug who consistently makes life good. Now the new puppy in the family is already tuned in to her and not anyone else. She is an effective worker whose judgment on delicate HR issues seems perfect, and yet that puts her in the center of another arena of life. I struggle to keep her involvement in my life as simple as possible, yet that just isn’t working for us. She is critical to my quality of life, as she is for so many people.

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    1. Well, Steve, every family as one of these people. The families who do not have one, or who will not listen to their good sense, do not function very well. I also am often that person, as is my sister. It is much easier when people just tell me what they need so I can get it done and move on. Lots of times we can hire someone to do what needs to be done, such as cleaning.

      Right now my cleaning lady is out with COVID and not responding to texts. I am very worried about her. When I cannot access her services it makes my life harder. Yes, I am spending the morning cleaning. The condition of my kitchen floor was deplorable.

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      1. It is sadder than that, Linda. My s-i-l has tried schemes that would make him more interesting to the family dog, but at some point personality expresses itself. He’s just not as lively or tuned into the dog as my daughter is. In that family, everything begins with my daughter.

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