My cellphone chirped in the middle of the night with a rambling message from a restless friend who lives in the woods. It has been translated from the original Ursus Textish.
Hey, it’s Bart.
I know, I’m supposed to be hibernating but I couldn’t sleep. Know what that’s like?
Being awake in the middle of January is a real bummer. I’m afraid when April comes, I’ll still be tired. I’m dug into a hole under a big tree that fell over. It’s good. Out of the wind. Snow packed all around – that makes it cozy.But when I open my eyes it’s just … you know. Bark. Not much to look at. I’ve tried counting sheep but it doesn’t help. Makes my stomach growl. We bears are already good at growling, so our stomachs get real loud. Somebody passing by could hear it and figure, ‘Hey, there’s a bear under the tree.’ Then I really wouldn’t be able to sleep. Rumor is, there are scientists in the woods.
Yup, I get a little paranoid.
But there’s good reason. Some of the bears say home invasions are on the rise. You’re sleeping and suddenly the door opens and these people reach in with needles and electronic collars and tags. They’re putting their hands all over you and poking you and measuring you, whispering all the while like it’s some secret mission. Then they go away! But when you get up in spring, all their merchandise is hanging off you, like you’re a Christmas tree that got decorated and forgotten. Then you have to drag that stuff around with you through the whole summer and maybe the rest of your life, clattering and beeping … slows you down. And the lady bears really don’t go for guys with flashing, humming collars. It feels like you’re being watched. Or so I hear.
Anyway, thinking about this is gonna keep me awake for days unless I figure it out, so if you’ve got advice about going back to sleep … something other than counting sheep … let me know, eh?
What cures insomnia?
Trail Baboon 
Rise and shine Baboons! Go back to bed bears!
Bart didn’t mention the worst indignity dished out by winter biologists. Hey Bart, in spring after your place has been assaulted like that, do you ever get a strange feeling when walking? Think: rectal thermometer.
The only “cure” for insomnia I have found is wine and a really boring book. Repeat treatments as needed.
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a glass of port and the illiad would be my suggestion too. but if his stomach is growling, oatmeal rasin may be called for.
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I often fall asleep during prayer. Isn’t that ironic??
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fire and brimstone comin atcha
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That’s what she said.
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If you suffer from insomnia during the work day – one word: STAFF MEETING.
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Yup!
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I’m not sure what you mean, Donna. Do staff meetings put you to sleep or keep you alert?
When I worked in the legislature and there was some boring testimony in committee after lunch, the room all warm, I gave up on trying to stay awake. The new goal was not to snore.
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Taking a 19thc. art history class after lunch was also not such a good idea. They dim the lights and show you great art, all the while talking about attributions. The parts I was awake for were great, but it was a real struggle.
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Actually, most staff meetings make me want to throw up.
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Not if you are praying for sleep!
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This comment was meant to follow from “isn’t that ironic?”
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Rise and Shine Baboons, that is if you got any sleep at all!
Not much in my life. I can always go to sleep, but staying asleep is another issue. I listen to audio books while I lie there. Some boring audiobooks will often help me go back to sleep. However, I have learned that a really suspenseful book that is a fun daytime read, is not a great idea from 2-4 a.m. Lots of exercise can help a bit, too. There is also a melatonin/herbal blend that has helped a little.
But really, watching a little TV and doing a crossword is not that bad in the middle of the night.
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PS, Tomorrow when I have more time I’ll post more about a Carol Burnet show-a-thon. Looks like next weekend. Is Sunday good for all? Gotta get ready for work now.
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football may cause me to do the guy thing
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Sunday is OK for me.
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BBC World Service. DVDs of old tv shows or movies already seen, sometimes. Sometimes they can have a wakening effect…would try the book method, but don’t want to turn the light on. Extreme cases of ruminating midst the middle of the night calls for getting out of bed to fix warm milk and honey.
Is it a sign of age or the times that this question is pertinent?
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I’m fond of the BBC World Service too. I do sometimes get into trouble with that though, as I hear half a story on my way off to sleep, and then wake up wondering if I could have possibly heard what I sort of remember I heard.
Heard about Jesse Ventura being elected first on the BBC-if the BeeB covers it, it must be news. (did nothing for the insomnia-for the record).
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In particular, when the BBC goes off on Cricket sports talk, I go to sleep.
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Unless it’s really bad I try not to turn on the light…so I first try things like imagining I’m someplace quiet and peaceful (like the Lake Superior shore in Grand Marais – especially out on the little spit of a peninsula) and just let myself “sit” in that place trying to clear my thoughts and concentrating on something soothing and repetitive like lake waves. This often works, unless, of course, I can’t get my brain to turn off enough to be distracted enough by Lake Superior…then I try things like crossword puzzles or reading.
Good luck Bart – hope you don’t wake up with some extra accessories and a strange feeling about being poked and prodded.
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I also imagine I am in a place like the boundary waters on the edge of a lake to calm myself when trying to get back to sleep. I hadn’t thought of imagining lapping waves. I will try that.
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There’s an app for that, Jim. That is, you can get an app for an iPad or iPhone that plays lapping waves in your ears.
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I guess I should move out of the “stone age” and get a device that has apps.
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keep your phone and check out the ipad. i havn’t run into anyone who is sorry with that amazing piece of technology. getting one for my moms bd in a week.
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Husband tried to placate me by getting me a Nook for Christmas. It think it’s only so I won’t steal his iPad for an e-reader. They are pretty cool. Daughter loves it – adapted to the interface and doing stuff on it with very few instructions (at the age of 6…and if a six-year-old can handle it…).
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Six year olds do lot of stuff I haven’t figured out yet… I think it’s because I have too much extraneous crap in my head………….
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True that, Ben. (Well, okay – can’t speak for what’s in your head…just my own…think I’m overdue for a disk defrag and a reboot. Clearly my brain isn’t running the more efficient Apple OS.)
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Good morning to all,
I will be very interested in hearing all of your suggestions for dealing with not being able to sleep because I have that problem. My biggest problem is waking up too early and not getting back to sleep. Some times I can try to think calming thoughts and and at least get partly back to sleep.
I usually wake up in the middle of the night and I can usually get back to sleep okay if I get up a walk down to the kitchen for a small snack and go directly back to bed. My brother told me that for some people getting up in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep might be a normal sleep pattern. I do occaisionly sleep all night and I would prefer to do that.
Note to tim about a comment yesterday: The work I do around the house as a retired person might be worth about $1000.00 per month so I have found a way to earn some extra money in retirement.
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perfect
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I’m glad to see your comment, Jim. I was up at 1 AM last night, staying up until a nap at about 4 AM. For me, crazy sleeping patterns seem part of the aging process. Since the only living being in my house is a blind old dog who doesn’t know if it is day or night, it hardly matters when we are up or down and we don’t stress about it. I am fervently in favor of naps, for I regard the so-called “regular” sleep cycle is an abomination imposed on mankind by the Industrial Revolution. Naps are great.
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i have just accepted an old study i heard about where they put people in a windowless, clockless radioless environment (too many time references) and people were left in there long enough (like a month) to adjust from the 24 hour clock to discover where they would end up on their own. the result was that people stayed awake for 30 hours straight and slept for 6 hours. i have no idea where the study came from but it is one of those useless pieces of information i carry around with me.
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One of the tricky things I have noticed about trying to get enough sleep is not being able to be sure if I have been asleep or awake. Some times I think I have not been sleeping and when I look at the clock I find out more time has passed than I realized. It seems there probably were some periods of sleeping or dreaming without being awake when I thought I was awake.
I’m not good at napping. There are times when I do get a nap in when I am very tired. Also, I nap during a movie or a concert when I would rather be awake.
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i get a kick out of the fact that if i sit in a theater for a concert movie or school performance i immeadiatley get heavy lidded eyes. give bart my seats at the show. or maybe we should set up a
cable connection next to the tree. then the bbc and cspan would do the trick. i was at a baseball meeting for my daughthers last night. if there is one more way to say show up for practice the meeting could have lasted 1 1/2 hours, as it was there were only two ways to say it so the meeting was trimmed to an hour. listening to buffoons waste your time with inane restatements of the only point to be offered. have i said the same idea over and over tires me out. hearing it again and again feels redundant and makes me either go to sleep or crawl out of my skin in anxiety. see what bart has for a response. maybe a henry kissinger speech on tape or i’ll bet there are woodland creatures that offer a boring over and over message that would serve. that or maybe if he read and reread this blog entry. that would do it.
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wouldn’t it be nice not to have ot be concerned about that kind of trivial detail. if you could go when you felt fresh enough and rest whne you were tired you might be able to go on an as need sleep schedule forever. i sometimes have a wave of tiredness come over me and i beg off form my duties to do a quick crash and burn and then i wake up form my nap completely refreshed and ready to conquer the world and to my surprise according to the reports of others in the room my recharging session was a grand total of 15 minutes. rip van winkle in reverse.
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Not necessarily what he said, but I do love the sound of Henry Kissinger’s voice. I think Bill Cosby once did and impersonation of him that was pretty good.
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WHAT is with Henry Kissinger? He has been in this country 72 years, and he has an accent you could cut with a sword crafted in the Black Forest. There are little kids running around who have been in the US two years and they sound like natives. Whenever Henry K opens has mouth to me he sounds like he’s doing an imitation of Peter Sellers doing a German accent. Sheeesh! But you gotta admit, he gets the chicks. That accent gets him chicks.
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eh, my grandparents were all born in this country but never sounded like it. The older and more tired my dad gets, the more he sounds like them. Little kids brains have more plasticity-that is the whole point of immersion school.
Henry is something special, he can be saying the most awful things, and it all sounds so well-reasoned.
Well, I miss William F. Buckley a lot too.
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I do like the attitude that just because the rest of the world is asleep doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to be. Takes the pressure off, making it easier to relax and, well, sleep.
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I don’t typically have a problem getting to sleep unless there is a big stress-provoking thing going on in my life. Small and medium-size stress-provoking things are not enough to keep me from nodding off at the drop of a hat.
When I do have difficulty, the best remedy I’ve found is to lie on my back and place a cat on my stomach. It keeps me from tossing and turning, since I don’t want to disturb the cat, and the motionlessness is helpful. There is also a soporific effect from the vibration – one cat in particular has a good rumbly purr, and if he falls asleep and stops purring, you can reset him by scratching a little around the ears. And it’s hard to feel tense with a warm purring cat on you.
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Is it legal to use a cat like that? Sounds borderline to me, sort of like “off label” use for drugs. But if it works . . . hey, cool!
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Off label is when you spill something in the kitchen and call the pet over to clean it up because you’re too lazy to get a paper towel.
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Gosh… this is a way of life in my house. In fact, every now and then when I am at someone’s home who doesn’t have pets and they bend over to clean up something off the floor, I am mystified at first, as to what they’re doing. This just never happens at my house, unless it’s something they’re not supposed to have (grapes, chocolate) in which case we have immediate diving to get to the object before they do!
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Legal? Stress relief is a cat’s highest calling and one of the very few things they will actually do FOR you, and don’t worry, they will send you the bill.
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My first cat wasn’t in the business of relieving stress so much as in the business of dishing it out. And, oh, was he good at it!
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My prior basset hound liked to sleep on the bed with me – sometimes curled up at my back (I’m a side sleeper), sometimes with her head on my shoulder. She was a cozy dog. I slept well with her around. Husband moves around a lot more…and current basset sleeps with Daughter. Mebbe I should get Husband to curl up on my stomach and purr. Hmm.
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I tend to have issues during high season (now)… when I wake up thinking about work issues. I have two pretty good strategies.
#1. In my mind, I replay the plot from a book that I read many years ago. I don’t think which book would matter… but for me it’s the first Dragons of Pern book by Anne McCaffrey. I just start at the beginning and work through the plot. This is my first line of defence and works really well.
#2. If McCaffrey doesn’t work, then I turn on the tv to the Weather Channel and turn the sound all the way down to zero (no mute button, because then there are captions that I can’t seem to stop ready). Weather Channel with no sound and no captions is seriously sleep-inducing!
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Morning drowsy ones…
I don’t have that problem very often… but I stay up way to late at night in the first place so I’m pretty well exhausted before getting to bed. We take our naps on the couch, then get up and go to bed…
It’s late afternoons that I get sleepy… doing chores when I had cows I often took a 5 minute nap on a straw bale in the barn. Nice.
Certain farm activities like cutting hay put me right to sleep; round and round you go… park under a shade tree, idle down, neutral and slouch in the seat for a bit…
Curiously lots of farm activities involve ‘Round and round’ but some are more interesting than others.
But if I am awake in the middle of the night I get on the computer; play some solitaire until my brain settles down again…
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I don’t have insomnia very often–I don’t get the chance. One of my cats is elderly, slightly demented, and of the firm opinion that humans ought to be awake and petting cats at 4 AM, or any time said human is awake and moving around, even if it’s only to turn over. I’m also a extremely light sleeper, so the furnace wakes me up whenever it goes off, unless I’m really tired, and my roommate goes to work around 5 AM, so I wake up again…I wore earplugs in my old apartment, but they get really uncomfortable after a few nights, so I’m more or less resigned to not sleeping well. Ah, well, that’s why the Goddess gave us coffee, ne?
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and port wine
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I do okay with less sleep than I would like to have. 7 hours of sleep would be great. I usually get only 6 hours or less. I think my mood would be better if I got more sleep. When I am really short on sleep I really don’t feel good and have trouble concentrating on things. When I know I really haven’t had enough sleep I make an effort to avoid being too cranky.
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Luckily I only get these spells about once a week or so, and if I do spend 2 or 3 hours awake, I’m lucky I can sleep in. (And I love a nap if I can swing it.) I try the “watch your breath” thing which works once in a while, or remembering some particlularly fun event in detail. I like Verily S’s idea about the plot of a novel, will try that.
Sometimes a sleepless spell happens when I’ve made some “decision” (like Let’s move to Santa Fe) and start planning, or it’s the night before some difficult or complicated day (22 people coming to my tiny house for Thanksgiving). Then I just let ‘er rip – I figure my brain just needs this time to go through everything and will shut up when it’s done.
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If you can see your breath, Barbara, you might try dialing up the thermostat. See if that doesn’t help you sleep.
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OT LQ (Lame Question): iPads were mentioned above. We’re starting to look for a laptop for more traveling… How’s an iPad different from a regular laptop?
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Some things you might to on a laptop are limited or different on an iPad. If you mostly use your laptop for things like email and surfing the web, you’ll be fine with an iPad when you travel. Working with things like documents gets a little dicier (so if you’re tracking everything in an Excel sheet, you may want the laptop – though it’s not impossible on an iPad). Also, I find that typing on the screen keyboard to be quite different. I’m a touch-typist on a standard keyboard, but the touch keyboard on the iPad is slightly smaller, so I find I can only use six fingers instead of ten…my husband, who did not learn standard touch-typing (and mostly only uses four fingers anyway to type) doesn’t have this issue. You can get an external/USB keyboard, I think for the iPad…but that takes away some from the convenience of size…
They are good for traveling though – we loaded a couple of movies on ours for Daughter when we took a trip north. Not sure how well it works to move photos from camera to iPad, but I’d think that’d be pretty easy.
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That’s interesting. Mom wants a laptop but she’s never used any computer at all and just sits and stares at it whenever she’s in front of mine. I’m thinking an iPad is the way to go. One crucial element for her is the ability to download photos. She wants to go digital all of a sudden.
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Thanks, Anna, this helps a lot. Will probably go with a real laptop — maybe a Dell if Verily S. continues to like hers?
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So far so good, although I just went out over my lunch to get a wireless mouse. Don’t care for the little pad that is built into the laptop. Just not fast enough for me.
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Barbara, one idiot’s opinion, for the little it is worth. My wife and I are leaving for a 5-6 week trip starting Tuesday, In preparation in November and early December I investigated if I should invest in an Iphone or Blackberry, an Ipad, or a good laptop (I have not owned a personal laptop before). Money was an issue, otherwise all three would be nice. The cheapest is the laptop. I got a good Asus, as recommended by several techies in Silicon Valley, for $475. An Ipad with what you would want to travel would cost over $600, although my daughter-in-law could have reduced that price for me. Ipads are the greatest device I know, but it is closer to a toy. It is very mobile, much easier to play your music with and can function as a GPS, but as Anna says it is a poor substitute for a real computer. So in the long-term I went with the Asus and love it. I can play my music with my Mp3, for which the new car is all ready. I did not care about the GPS really, but now a friend with tons of devices, loaned us their “other” Gamin.
Here is my problem and dilemma: I got new phones through Verizon. I do not want high-tech phones, especially for my wife. So I signed a two-year contract and got two Samsung’s for virtually free. The Samsung’s are junk and Verizon is pure sleaze. We have had five of the phones for the two of us, but now the 30-day warranty period is up and the latest phones are acting up. Verizon says it’s my problem and they keep telling me that I was the one who chose the phones, as if to say that I was an idiot to buy the crap they sell. Samsung says to mail them in and they will look at them, which means we do not have them for the trip. So I can buy new phones at full price from Verizon, with no discount for signing a contract since I have signed a contract with these junk phones. I can pay them $170 to get out of the contract and go somewhere else, or I can leave on the trip with two questionable new phones. So what you people do?
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Your situation doesn’t sound good. You might be able to find a good deal on phones online. I think you would need to be careful to get one that can use your Verison phone service. There is information on cell phones in the January 2011 Consumer Reports.
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I have always been a restless sleeper. I am horrified to learn that I have started to snore. I refuse to end up like my mother, whose snores could wake the dead. I guess its a small blessing that my husband doesn’t wear his hearing aids at night. One surefire way to combat insomnia is to get up and wash the kitchen floor or do some other odious/tedious task.
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Has your mom been checked for sleep apnea?
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Good question. I will mention it to her to tell her doctor. I seem to be on the alert to that possiblity with clients I evaluate, but I never thought about it for her!
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My dad was an awful snorer (as a consequence I could sleep through WWIII because I got used to his noise). He was diagnosed with sleep apnea once docs actually started looking for things like that…the CPAP he slept with greatly improved his sleep and waking lives. Added bonus: Mom slept better, too. 🙂
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Boy, Bart, I wish I knew. I’ve had trouble sleeping since I was 12 or 13 years old. The problem seems to be somewhat cyclical. I can go for weeks or even months sleeping well then all of a sudden I start having lots of trouble. I’ve had nights when I couldn’t sleep at all or only for an hour or two.
The most medication I’ve ever taken for this is one tab of Tylenol PM. It helps a little – it might help more if I was willing to take two. Wine is helpful in small quantities but it works the opposite way if I have more than one glass. I try not to get up or turn on lights unless I absolutely must.
Sleep difficulties have caused problems for me. My cognitive functioning can get pretty bad and I get quite moody. I don’t mean to imply anything, Bart…
I work very hard outside in the spring and fall and this helps. It helps when my body is completely physically exhausted and I’ve breathed a lot of fresh air. Maybe you need to work harder to get your berries in the fall, Bart. Start climbing some bigger trees or something. Don’t fall though. BTSO Rafferty wouldn’t approve.
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Someone has recommended Rescue Sleep (a Bach Flower Rescue Remedy offshoot), though I haven’t tried it myself yet… You’re right about the wine – Nora Ephron says something like “It’s that second glass that makes you get up in the middle of the night…” although I’m sure aging is in there too.
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I have tried the Bach remedy as well as melatonin. Neither helped.
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Without Ambien I would be a mess. With my friendly-explains-all disease my sleep patterns are all messed up, except one Ambien a night and I sleep straight through most nights and get up once or twice some nights. I have no side-effects from it.
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Glad that you’ve found something that works for you.
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If I end up having too much trouble with sleeping I will look into using Amiben. There is another sleep medication I used in the past which gave me head aches. I do take two pills of Diphenhydramine, which is also in Tylenol PM,(mentioned above by Krista). These pills help a little and when I tried to get by without them I didn’t do very well.
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Too too quiet this afternoon. Is anybody out there?
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Hello? Is this thing on?…
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Must be just you and me, Anna-Marie!
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I’m here-weird day at work, things have quieted down considerably, so I am falling asleep watching the snow come down.
Actually, seldom have trouble with insomnia, usually the opposite for me, would get in more reading and have freshly knitted socks in my drawer if I could just stay up a bit longer.
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MiG, are socks hard to knit? I am actually learning to knit tomorrow morning – a friend is teaching me. Socks sounds like very practical things to knit.
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I used to think they were, but like so many things, it is all about how hard you want it to be. Turning the heel can be tricky, but if you do something called a short-row heel (which basically means you only knit part of the row before you start going back the other direction), it is a piece of cake. Machine made socks have this sort of a heel.
Once you know how to knit and purl, it is mostly a matter off just keeping track of things. You’re organized and don’t procrastinate-you probably also finish your projects- you will be a great knitter, if you decide you would like to be (if it drives you nuts, but all means stop).
On topic, never try to knit lace if you think you are going to fall asleep while doing it, you will rue the day. Falling asleep while knitting basic socks is just fine.
Wearing hand-knit socks is like giving your feet a hug.
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…and then I beat it out of Dodge (or at least my little corner of the C building…) leaving you with one less baboon for the afternoon. Wanted to make the drive home before it started to get dark. Glad I did. Driving wasn’t so bad at 3:45…and very glad to be in now with a fire going and a Daughter cozied up next to me (for the record – on my MacBook Pro, which I really like…almost as convenient as an iPad, but not as whizzy and cutting-edge cool).
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Someday I would like to learn to knit. I have attempted it a couple of times, with varying success. I think I need a specific project to keep me going.
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Thought of you last night, MIG. I watched a biopic of Edith Piaf in the small hours of the morning. She was a knitter.
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I thought she was just another pretty voice.
What was the title of the biopic?
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La vi en Rose (My Life in Rose)
Considered one of the best biopics ever made.
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Thanks Clyde for the info above. (Other techies: He has a question for you about phones, above.) We just went “scouting” at a Micro Center, I looked at both and decided as you said, what I want is a full laptop. Glad to know you like your Asus.
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Techies from five sources–a seasonal Best Buy salesman, the techie from my old company, the techie from the company I just left, my son and his wife and, best of all, the computer folk in my son’s company in San Jose, all say that Dell has kind of gone downhill of late. Did not want to post this for the Dell owners out there. Two of those sources recommended the Asus independently of each other, and two others endorsed it. They tell me that Asus was a long time hard-drive maker. People like my son who assemble their own computer regularly use the Asus hard-drive. I ordered straight from Asus, but I think it is generally better to buy from a place you can take it back to. Again, this is all second-hand input; I know little myself.
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But let me repeat: that IPAD is awesome awesome awesome.
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