I played the bass clarinet in the concert band the four years I was in college at Concordia-Moorhead. One day during my sophomore year, visiting high schoolers considering attending Concordia observed a band rehearsal. I had an odd sensation of being observed, and noticed that one of the visitors was staring at me with what I could only interpret as intense loathing.
The following fall, the staring girl showed up at Concordia as a declared music major who played the bass clarinet. To her dismay, she was offered a spot in the band as a contrabass clarinet player. I was the better player, so I got the bass clarinet position. I spent the next year sitting next to her in band, and she continued to treat me with loathing, since I, a non-music major, had the chair in band she wanted. Nothing I did was was right, and she sure let me know that. She mercifully transferred to Arizona State University the next year.
I have been careful in the ensuing years to treat my fellow musicians well because there is nothing worse than sitting next to someone in a musical ensemble who is mad at you. There is often a lot of emotion in musical ensembles. I have been challenged lately, though, by the antics of a newer member of our church choir. She is a lovely person in her 50’s who is probably someone with ADHD who has never been treated for it. She was sitting next to me until recently. She sways when she sings, which absolutely drives me nuts. She doesn’t read music very well. She sways out of time. I was able to cheerfully tell her that I was going to tie her to her chair if she didn’t stop moving. She was gracious enough to accept this with some humor. She stopped swaying, but moved away to the end of the row. That makes me a little sad, but at least I am less annoyed, and she isn’t afraid I will assault her.
When have you had to work with someone who loathed you? What musical ensembles have you performed with? What do other people do that drive you crazy?