According to New of the Weird this week, in some parts of Russia, men are running personal ads. Not those kind of personal ads! They are running ads are “barbecue companions”. Apparently it’s exactly what it says – someone to come over to your house for barbecue, beer and conversation. The men are charging anywhere between $13 and $65. They higher end companions can include preparing the grill, grilling the meat, setting up a tend and acting as a buddy. One such ad said “I’ll help you organize barbecues and camping, keep you company, and grill some meat. Jokes and anecdotes are also included,” This seems to be on the up and up. Only marketing to men and are meant to be one-time services – not an invitation to friendship. If someone wants to hire the barbecue buddy’s services again, they have to pay for it. Russian restaurateur Evgeny Demchenko said “From a business perspective, this is absolutely natural: if there’s an unmet need, a service will emerge.”
It feels a little sad to me. Don’t Russian men have any friends? If I volunteered to grill, I’m pretty sure I’d have folks lining up. Especially if the weather is nice.
Does having a barbecue companion hold any allure for you? What do you like to grill?
Two of the drive-throughs that YA and I frequent (especially in the summer) are Taco Bell and Dairy Queen. About eight months ago Taco Bell installed a chat bot to ask people if they are checking in using their Taco Bell app. I do have the app (it occasionally rewards me with a free burrito or fiesta potatoes) so the chat bot has actually been a good reminder to me to have the phone handy so I can give them the check-in code. At that point the system switches over to a live person to take your order.
About four months back, Dairy Queen went to a fully automated ordering system at their drive-through. I bristled at the idea but not enough to boycott my Dilly bars. Since YA and I are creatures of habit at Dairy Queen, it’s pretty simple and we haven’t had any ordering disasters.
Then two weeks ago I was by myself, getting my Dilly bar, and the automated voice had a southern drawl. I kid you not. It threw me for a loop and I spent the next hour or so trying to think back; had I completely missed that before? Then the following week when we were there, it was a male voice with a midwestern accent. I breathed a sigh of relief – I wasn’t going crazy. Then yesterday, it was a woman’s voice, but not the southern woman.
Of course, this leaves me with a bunch of questions. How many automated voice options are there? Who chooses which voice for the day (the manager, the person who opens, corporate office)? Or does the computer randomly pick voices during the course of the day? If a particular voice gets complaints, can they change it at the store level? Are the voices patterned after particular people or just AI-generated? What happens if you don’t want to order from a chat bot? Can you simply repeat “representative” until the computer gives up?
Any chat bots/automated systems driving you crazy? Or that you’ve made peace with?
Mondays can be tough. Monday two weeks ago I accidentally ripped open a bag of flour in our pantry, which is also called the ‘doghouse’ as it’s a completely impractical storage area six feet deep, with a three foot door opening three feet off the floor, inside a closet. Because Heaven forbid my mom would waste any storage area. My family and I were recently talking about this area; as kids we had to climb in there to get things for mom because the adults could never get in there.
Long story longer, a month ago I needed something in a hurry from a tote behind a shelf unit in the doghouse. I had to move a bunch of stuff to get the shelf out to get the tote out. I had junk scattered all over the kitchen. And it all sat for a few days because I wanted Kelly’s help putting stuff back. And then early Monday morning, I was doing something in there that I don’t recall and something shifted and as I tried to shift it back, I ripped open the bag of flour. Then I knocked a 48 pack of AA batteries on the floor. It was a new package and batteries went everywhere. I closed the door and went to an eye appointment.
Later in the day, after my eyes cleared up, I started cleaning up the flour and trying to organize. I bought some pull out shelf slides and cut some boards and then realized if you pull out the shelf unit, you can’t get in the closet. So you’d have to be standing in the closet before you pull out the shelf, meaning you’d have to move the stuff in there first, and at that point Kelly said let’s re-evaluate this idea. Always the practical one that woman.
The Doghouse Pantry.
This last Monday I stopped at the Farm Service Agency (FSA) office to report my crops for the year. It’s called certification and it’s how the government tracks our production for all those farming handouts we get. I worked for this office back in the 1980’s when it was called the ASCS office. Certifications were easier back then. I had emailed this year’s certification maps into the office twice, trying to get the process done correctly, and there were still some questions. An hour and a half later all was well and I am certifiable. I mean certified. The agent helping me did a great job and when I told her this process was easier 30 years ago she gave me a blank look. Well, it was, I said. It just was. Trust me.
I went home and was gonna mount the loader back on the tractor for an upcoming lumber delivery. Usually this is a quick five minute job. But I bumped something and something shifted and bolts popped out and the support stands gave way. I stopped the tractor there so as not to make things worse. And then things got sketchy. I used a bunch of those wood blocks I was just saying I didn’t know why I had so many of. And I used a thing called a ‘Porta Power’ that I bought at an auction, and a jack, and a metal stand I’ve been saving for 15 years just for this purpose. I said some prayers and got it all jacked back up and the bolts replaced and the stands back in place and got the loader mounted. Whew!
I thought I was gonna start mowing weeds this week. I haven’t gotten that done yet. Got some other stuff done though.
Tuesday morning I donated platelets. It was my 80th donation, meaning 10 gallons (which I quibbled about; donating whole blood 80 times might equal 10 gallons, but not donating platelets even at two units / donation. Still, I got a 10 gallon pin and a new hat.
Our basement bathroom remodeling has begun… I don’t think it will take long as nothing major is really happening. The old cement board shower walls have been removed, and a new shower stall will be installed, a new vanity, and new toilet. With bidet!
1968 no more.
I got lumber delivered…more work for me and the boys.
More on this when we get to it.
And then I decided to haul in some scrap iron before I take the loader off the tractor again. I loaded up the trailer and when I got out of the tractor there were spots on the front fender, and the inside of the front wheel was wet. That seemed like a problem.
What you’re looking at here is something pretty special. It’s a hydraulic hose under the tractor that controls the steering. There’s one on each side. This one has developed a leak and was spraying oil around. Usually the dealership can just make up a new hydraulic hose, but for some reason, the parts manual didn’t tell them what parts were needed for this. I took the old one off and up to John Deere. Turns out one end is odd.
John Deere says there’s two of these hoses in North America. One is in Texas and one is in Canada. Which doesn’t make sense. Something isn’t right. Hydraulic hoses break; how can there only be two of them?? But I’ll get them, on Tuesday. And this whole thing really discouraged me. I had things to do with that tractor the next few days.
I did have 2700 pounds of scrap iron at $160 / ton. So that will pay for the new hydraulic hoses.
I’ve got corn tassling! It seems early.
And these flowers, which I only post because some of you got grumpy about them last year. : – )
Here’s the neighbors cows hanging out.
How now Brown Cow.
The boys helped me do some work at the Rep theater. We hauled out 30 old lighting fixtures that are not used anymore. I’d like to renovate these…create something funky out of them.
YA and I switched from margarine to butter a long time ago. It was a hit to our budget at the time so I’ve spent years keeping an eye out for butter on sale. I have absolutely no brand loyalty to any kind of butter, unless you count the seriously fancy hand churned butter that I get a Kowolskis every couple of years.
I’ve also been lucky enough to have two friends who have worked at dairies. My friend Tim worked at one of the big names for years and he would regularly be able to grab a pound or two of butter from their “free shop”. Right about the time he retired, my friend Rita moved to the same company and now part of my solstice gift every year is a gift bag of butter. Such wonderful friends.
Because of how I acquire some of my butter, I don’t always know what I have in the fridge. Last week, I opened up a box of butter and was surprised when eight little wrapped bars fell out. Instead of four ½ cup bars, there were eight ¼ cup bars. As a baker who goes through quite a bit of butter, I laughed out loud. I didn’t know anybody packaged butter like this. I do occasionally need a half a stick of butter but it’s pretty rare and when I do, I just cut a whole bar in half. Not a reach.
But I suppose there may actually be a need for these half bars since somebody somewhere when to the trouble to manufacture and package these things???
Butter or margarine? Any brand loyalty? Would you appreciate half bars?
Backstory to today’s story. Quite a few years ago, one of my back teeth broke (no pain.) And I mean lots of pieces broke. My dentist sent me to a specialist to extract it (no pain). Then after a few weeks, I got a bridge. Fast forward about six years and I was having some discomfort (ok, yeah, pain) and it turns out that the very back tooth of the bridge needed a root canal. Sigh. Off to the endodontist for this. That morning she said she was a bit concerned due a small crack in the tooth but she thought she could make it work. Easy peasy (no pain). This was two years back.
Fast forward again to about 3 months ago when I noticed a bit of discomfort during brushing (no pain, just discomfort). I paid a lot of attention to this because I figured it was the bridge/root canal acting up after two years. The discomfort really didn’t change so I decided to let it ride until my usual dentist appointment yesterday.
I explained it to the hygienist (Kenzie) and when she poked at the area, there was a little jolt (yes, of pain) and she backed off. When the dentist came in to do her check, Kenzie said “I saw a little something stuck there”. I wasn’t sure what in heavens name could be stuck there – I am an every-night brusher/flosser, including under the bridge. I was prepared this time for the discomfort when the dentist poked about (a smidge of pain). She mentioned a tooth fragment while she was poking and that gave me immediate thoughts of one of those bridge teeth disintegrating and all those implant commercials I’ve seen recently flooded my brain. Turns out that the fragment is NOT from any of my current teeth. It is almost certainly a fragment left over from the initial tooth that was extracted eight years ago. The dentist showed me a couple of past x-rays and pointed out what she thought may have been the fragment slowly migrating to the surface.
WOW. Seems like science fiction to me and I probably said “wow” more than once. And, of course, I was instantly so relieved. I couldn’t leave the little fragment just sitting there on the dental tray so I convinced Kenzie to find a little sleeve to put it in. I’m pretty sure I won’t keep it for more than a couple of weeks, but really – WOW.
I’ve never had a souvenir from the dentist before – unless you count floss and toothpaste. Truly I’m pretty sure I ever want another but for now, this will do.
What’s one of your most unlikely souvenirs?Bonus points if you know where the phrase “little offenders” comes from.
We got to Columbus about 9:30 a.m. on a Friday morning and after picking up the rental car, we got to the hotel well before check-in time… in fact we were there before check-out time. We knew this was a possibility so we left my phone number with the front desk and headed out.
Started with lunch at The Rusty Bucket. Veggie burgers, fries and fried pickles. Best fried pickles ever. It was a gorgeous day and we sat near the big open windows so there was a great breeze. Then we headed over for a hike to Indian Falls. We walked quite a bit down of pathway before we realized that the little gurgling “rapids” we had passed earlier were the actual falls. Guess living so close to Minnehaha Falls, I had bigger expectations. But it was pretty and we got to pet a few dogs along the way.
I know I mentioned Anthony Thomas Candies earlier; we found an Anthony Thomas Candy Shoppe outlet between the falls and our motel. Anthony Thomas is a fourth-generation company that started as a Dairy Co-op in 1932 and following a couple of expansions, in 1952 they began making what is now their signature candy – the buckeye – peanut butter filling surrounded by milk chocolate. They make 14 million buckeyes a year and are recognized by Ohio State University for the licensing of the candies. We found a little box of what they call their “oops” – seconds. Neither YA nor I could figure out what was wrong with them. They were delicious – and cheaper!
Quick stop at a grocery store for a few bottles of pop/water for the fridge in our room and then headed back to the motel for our check-in. Showers, lunch leftovers for dinner and we found Banana Ball on ESPN. In a complete reversal of our usual roles, I am a BB fan, YA is not. However she humored me.
Set our alarms to make sure we got up early enough for our adventure on Saturday. Not bad for a travel day, no?
Do you have a candy that you would eat, even if it were an “oops”?
Last week when I stopped at the library to pick up a couple of things, there was signage at the entrance that at 2 p.m., there was a schedule fire drill. I asked one of the librarians what was involved and she said “the drill rings, everybody goes outside and stands around until the bell rings to indicate they can come back in.” She said that they are usually very low-key.
But it made me think about what would happen if it were a real drill and the library was on fire. It reminded me of the ending scene of Legal Eagles, a wildly improbable film from the mid 80s. The bad guy sets a fire in a swanky art gallery in New York (where they just happen to be having a memorial service for one of the owners). As the funeral goers are rushing to get out, there is a quick shot of some folks trying to take some of the art with them:
So, here’s the drill. You’re in the library when the bells go off, somebody yells “smoke, smoke”. You have just enough time to save five books. What books will they be? I’ll get us started.
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell
The Martian by Andy Weir
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Us by Heather McGee.
We went to Columbus because I love the television show “Secrets of the Zoo”. It ran for five seasons beginning in 2018 and spawned “Secrets of the Zoo Tampa”, “Secrets of the Zoo North Carolina” and “Secrets of the Zoo Down Under”. Down Under was resurrected a couple of years ago for an additional season and depending on what you’re willing to believe on the internet, there MAY be a Season 8. I was (am?) addicted to these shows – loved seeing the animals and the folks who cared for them. I’ve definitely seen all the episodes of all the show and most of them more than once.
The original Secrets explored the behind the scenes lives of the animals, the zoo keepers and the zoo vets. They also shared each episode with The Wilds, a safari park and conservation area about 90 minutes from Columbus. It looked as fascinating as the zoo.
When Guinevere passed away, YA and I were suddenly free to travel together – something that hadn’t happened for about 5 years. We decided that going to Columbus to see the Zoo and the Wilds would be perfect.
As is my norm, I immediately got a binder out and made tabs for air, hotel, rental car, cat boarding, zoo, Wilds and miscellaneous.
YA used her work “points” for the rental car, spent some On the Fly cards for the air and got a smokin’ hot rate at a hotel using her Iatan status. Turns out we even got Comfort + seating because she’s got a gazillion Delta miles. I asked her for confirming emails for everything so I could print them out – she begrudgingly did this commenting that it wasn’t necessary since she had all the info on her phone. Even the kitty boarding place sent everything via text and email. But not to be outdone, I dragged the binder with us to Columbus.
Because we were leaving at an ungodly hour from Minneapolis, YA set up Lyft transfers (cheaper than the off-site lots at the airport). Once we got to Columbus, she did all the driving because it would have cost extra every day to add a driver. So I let her choose the car. I didn’t even know what hotel we were going to before we drove up. She had handled that as well, including making sure it was a double/double configuration.
Really the only thing I was in charge of was the Zoo and the Wilds. Even those were handling with QR codes (used our MN Zoo membership to get a discount) and getting emails with links and receipts. Just had to flash my phone at the entrance of both.
Suffice it to say, YA was mostly in charge of everything during the trip and I didn’t open my binder one single time. It felt kind of freeing but sigh… the times they are a changin’.
How has travel changed for you over the years? For the good or for the bad?
I just finished The Last Mandarin by Louise Penny (5 stars). The main character has a tense relationship with her mom and early in the book came this: “My mother loves a monster. Now there’s the title of a Grade-B movie.”
It made me laugh and lead me to thinking about some other funny titles that I’ve read over the years.
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Philip Dick)
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat (Oliver Sachs)
How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting toKillYou (Matthew Inman)
The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating (Elisabeth Bailey)
The100–YearOldManWho Climbed Out a Window and Disappeared (Jonas Jonasson)
Everyone Poops (Taro Gomi)
Another Bullshit Night in Suck City (Nick Flynn)
Of course, there are a LOT of funny titles out there; I suppose authors think it will hook readers into picking up their books. It certainly works on me.
Here are a few others I found online…
No Matter How Much You Promise to Cook or Pay the Rent You Blew It Cauze Bill Bailey Ain’t Never Coming Home Again (Edgardo Vega Yunque)
And To My Nephew Albert I Leave The Island What I Won Off Fatty Hagan in a Poker Game (David Forrest)
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake (Aimee Bender)
Shit My History Teacher Did Not Tell Me (Karl Wiggins)
Everything I Know About Women I Learned From My Tractor (Roger Welsch)
It’s been a few years since YA and I traveled together. This is a four-day weekend trip that we’ve talked about for a few years now. Here are some interesting facts about our location:
Nearly half the residents of the US live near here
The gate to hell is hiding underneath North Street
Part of the Berlin Wall can be found here
Woody Harrelson was arrested in this city in 1982 before hitting it big in Hollywood
The Anthony Thomas Company makes 50,000 pounds of chocolate here daily, including their famous candy named after a state tree
The NFL was headquartered here from 1927 until 1938
Jack Hanna is Director Emeritus to one of the largest attractions of its kind in North America here.
Where in the world are we? (Bonus points if you can say WHY we’re here!)
Trail Baboon 