Category Archives: Mysteries

Rebel with a Clause

A couple of weeks back, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go see the world-premiere of Rebel with a Clause at the Main Cinema downtown.  I’d never heard of this but my friend is a writer, super funny and super curious and super intelligent so without so much as even “bing-ing” it, I bought ticket online and that Sunday, off we went. 

Explaining it doesn’t even begin to do it justice, so here is the trailer:

It was SO funny, mostly because the idea of her quest is funny and a lot of the folks in the clips were hilarious but also because the audience was also hysterical.  The movie is split up into chapters.  For example, The Comma was a bunch of clips about comma questions.  In fact, when “Commas” came up on the screen, there was a huge reaction/laugh/groan from the audience.  Clearly grammar and usage hit a spot for many people and the audience obviously knew what those hot spots are!  This happened several times.

I have never been what you would call a stickler for grammar but for most of my adult life I’ve lamented about the sad state of English.  Even having studied Shakespeare and Chaucer and knowing that English has evolved, I stood my ground.  And then I had one of those life-changing reads.  The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way by Bill Bryson (what a great title too).  He was so effective in mapping out the path of our language that by the final page, I was completely converted.  The grammar that we were taught in school really is just arbitrary made-up rules and communicating is what’s important, not whether we’re splitting infinitives or not.  (And I’m really hawking his book – interesting and funny.)

This doesn’t mean that I have thrown grammar to the wind.  I still like to speak well and I certainly appreciate it when someone uses the subjunctive correctly.  I also still cringe when people mis-use reflexive pronouns, which seems to be more often than not these days.  But overall, I’m trying to let all that go.

Ellen Jovin clearly comes down on the side of not holding people’s feet to the fire over their use of grammar even though she really knows her topic.  (This is not a spoiler alert by the way.)  Turns out that in addition to setting up her Grammar Table, eventually, in all 50 states, she also wrote a book about the experience.  I have it on hold at the library. 

So…. (VS acknowledges she is using the ellipses incorrectly) I’m highly recommending both Mother Tongue and Rebel with a Clause.  And, if you’re here in the Twin Cities, the movie will be showing again at The Main Cinema on September 21 and September 24.  Highly recommended!!

Do you remember learning grammar in school?  Any grammar rule/s that you feel warmly about? 

Eye Catching

For years I wore my State Fair t-shirts to work in August – a different one each day up until opening day.  But then, for some reason, I never wore any of them TO the Fair.  I’m not sure why and I’ll admit I never really thought it was weird.  I have a nice number of flowy, tunic-like tops (you Blevins folks have probably seen all of them) and I usually wore those during fair days.

Then this year, I had several dirty projects the first week of August and didn’t wear any of my fair shirts.  This made me think about my pattern and I decided to wear fair shirt to the fair.  Radical I know.

On Saturday, I wore my newest fair shirt (above) in addition to a pair of earrings I found last year at a little shop in the Grandstand:

I don’t think I’ve ever unintentionally drawn so much attention to myself.  From the time we got in line for the Park `n Ride bus until we got back to the parking lot (about 8 hours), 13 people commented on my shirt, 2 on the earrings.  All positive comments.  And after a few of the remarks, I started to realize that a lot of folks were noticing the shirt, even if they didn’t say anything.  It was weird and surprising since only two people had said anything about the shirt I wore on Thursday.  And one of them was at the Star Tribune booth; the shirt was a Steve Sachs design…

I met a gal later in the afternoon wearing the same shirt and we had a quick conversation about the shirt and she said she had experienced the same thing I had.  I suppose the colorful corn dogs on the black background make it stand out more than most fair t-shirt designs.  The great irony is that I don’t even eat corn dogs!  Haven’t even tried the vegan one at the fair yet!

Wonder if I’ll get a lot of comments when I wear the corn design shirt with the dangly ear of corn earrings?

Do you have any items of clothing that have gotten remarks?

Fan-Girl

Who would have thought that at I, who has eschewed all sports for 70 years would become a fan girl?

Banana Ball caught my eye on Facebook last year.  They are similar to baseball although they have a different rule structure (games only 2 hours long, no bunting, scoring is different, trick plays are encouraged, tickets cannot be resold for a profit, if a fan catches a foul ball – that’s an out, etc) and they have lots of entertainment and silliness.  This is what I like best.

They sell out everywhere they play and you have to enter a lottery to even get tickets.  The lottery for 2026 was in October last year and by the time I entered, there was no hope.  I joined a fan group in the spring and it paid off.. I got a notice that a bunch of single tickets were going on sale.  You can’t believe how fast I got online and scooped up a ticket for this past Sunday.  You may remember that YA doesn’t care for Banana Ball so I didn’t have to feel guilty that I picked Sunday afternoon when I knew she would be out of town.

Driving downtown and paying exorbitant parking doesn’t do anything for me so I took the bus (love the $1 fee for us oldies but goodies).  Just a couple of blocks from the bus stop to Target Field.  It was a sell-out, 39,000 folks.  I was in the “nose-bleed” section – five more seats higher and I would have been in the stratosphere.  But I was right behind home plate, so a fabulous view.  And of course, these days, everything is filmed within an inch of its life so you can see all the action on the big screens as well.

From the Stratosphere

Some of the fun was the baby race.  Unfortunately most of the babies were more interested in crowd-watching than racing.  Just one baby thought heading toward mom was a good idea but still a very slow good idea.  Hilarious

Baby Race – Kinda

It was a close game and everyone was on their feet for the last two batters.  The Coconuts took the game—WOOT.  They are my favorite team although I will admit it’s only because I like their team colors the best (and their catcher)!  I had to buy a t-shirt.

The Shirt

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see another live game, but I did just discover yesterday that all their games play on Disney+.  Watched one in the afternoon – they cut out a lot of the entertainment but it was fun anyway.  I definitely won’t stop watching the FB clips!

Have you ever been a fan-girl or fan-boy?  Any fan merchandise you’ll admit to?

Rookie Mistake

I made a completely rookie mistake this week.

As you know, I have a highly curated library account.   My Holds list includes books that are on order still, that I am on the waitlist for and quite a few books that I have “paused”.  Every couple of weeks I go through all the paused holds, resume a few of them and then reset the pause date to some time in the future – usually three to four weeks out.  This has been my pattern for a couple of decades.

The past month my attention span has been fairly limited to the new dog.  Paperwork, initial vet intake, spay, the cone of shame, then the sleeve of shame (she got razor burn from where they inserted her IV and she just could not leave it alone).  Now we’re through all that and have started working on preliminary training and walkies every day.  Add the early morning potty breaks and the last in the evening journey outside as well and I feel consumed.  In a good way.

So it was shocking when I opened up my library account Monday night and saw that I have THIRTY books in transit.  THIRTY!  I completely forgot to check my Holds, so everything that had been set to July 27 is now on its way to me.  How could I do something this dumb?

I called my buddy who’s the manager of my library and he said there is really no way to circumvent this process short of calling the origin library for each book and asking if they can catch it.  I’m not doing that.  In addition to being a serious pain in the patoot for me, it would be an even bigger pain for the libraries and as my buddy said, probably wouldn’t work anyway.  Sigh.

So I guess I’ll have to seriously step up my reading for August.  For fun, here are some of the titles that are on the way to me right now!

  • And to My Nephew Albert I Leave the Island What I Won Off Fatty Hagan in a Poker Game (one of the long-titled books I found earlier in the month)
  • The Chinese Parrot (a Charlie Chan novel)
  • The Concord Quartet (Alcott, Emerson, Hawthorne & Thoreau)
  • Crock of Gold (people, gods, Irish fairies…)
  • Cursed Cocktails (blood mage tries to retire)
  • Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life (“biography”)
  • Elizabeth I, CEO (what you think)
  • Ex-Wife (1925 woman finds herself after divorce)
  • Illuminations in the Flatwoods (wild turkeys?)
  • In Seven Stages (Elizabeth Bisland side of the Around the World story)
  • Kipling Sahib (Rudyard Kipling bio)
  • The Last Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes knock-off)
  • Lost Believers (novel inspired by true story… we’ll see….)
  • Margaret Fuller: A New American Life (2013 Pulitzer Prize)
  • Marie of Romania (queen consort of Ferdinand, King of Romania)
  • Murder and the First Lady (Eleanor Roosevelt solves the murder)
  • No Matter How Much You Promise to Cook or Pay the Rent You Blew It Cauze Bill Bailey Ain’t Never Coming Home Again (another long and intriguing title)
  • A Short Bright Flash (lighthouses!)
  • Enuf is Enough (a book about English spelling – yeah, I know I lead an exciting life!)

What’s a rookie mistake you’ve made?  Any good books on your nightstand?

Let’s Cook?

I blame Survivor.

It came out in 2000 on CBS and for reasons that I don’t understand, although it’s been 26 years, there have been 51 seasons.  I never watched it; it just didn’t pique my interest.  There was some reality tv prior to that, but I think of Survivor as the true onset of what is still just a bleak landscape to me. 

Technically I had watched reality tv for years – all in the form of cooking shows.  After Survivor, slowly competitive cooking shows began to make an appearance. Not like any competition of the past in which a few folks cooked and there was one winner.  That was it.  No throwing someone off, week after week until just one is left standing.  I hate this.  Truly hate this.  If I see any of the following words in a cooking show title, I’m not watching – bake-off, cook-off, battle, class, contender, wars.  There are probably others but this is what I can think of off the top of my head.  I did make an exception awhile back; so many folks assured me that The Great British Bake Off was “different” that I watched a couple of episodes (the season with Nadiya Hussain).  It wasn’t different enough for me.  The whole “throwing one person off” is just too brutal for me. 

What this means is that I don’t watch much Food Network or Cooking Channel these days – almost everything seems to be some sort of competition.  Throwing someone off still seems to be all the rage.  What’s left?  Shows like Carnival Eats, Pioneer Woman, Girl Meets Farm and a small handful of “how is it made” types of shows like Food Factory and “where should I eat” shows like Cheap Eats. 

I was kind of hoping that there would be a swing away from these competitive shows after two+ decades, but it doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon.  I’d even watch Julia Child’s French Chef if I could find it!

Do you watch any cooking shows?  (It’s ok if you like The Great British Bake-Off – I know I’m in the minority).  Do you ever try out anything you see?

Let’s Grill

According to New of the Weird this week, in some parts of Russia, men are running personal ads.  Not those kind of personal ads!  They are running ads are “barbecue companions”.   Apparently it’s exactly what it says – someone to come over to your house for barbecue, beer and conversation.   The men are charging anywhere between $13 and $65.  They higher end companions can include preparing the grill, grilling the meat, setting up a tend and acting as a buddy.  One such ad said “I’ll help you organize barbecues and camping, keep you company, and grill some meat. Jokes and anecdotes are also included,” This seems to be on the up and up.  Only marketing to men and are meant to be one-time services – not an invitation to friendship.  If someone wants to hire the barbecue buddy’s services again, they have to pay for it.  Russian restaurateur Evgeny Demchenko said “From a business perspective, this is absolutely natural: if there’s an unmet need, a service will emerge.” 

It feels a little sad to me.  Don’t Russian men have any friends?  If I volunteered to grill, I’m pretty sure I’d have folks lining up.  Especially if the weather is nice.

Does having a barbecue companion hold any allure for you?   What do you like to grill?

Let’s Chat

Two of the drive-throughs that YA and I frequent (especially in the summer) are Taco Bell and Dairy Queen.  About eight months ago Taco Bell installed a chat bot to ask people if they are checking in using their Taco Bell app.  I do have the app (it occasionally rewards me with a free burrito or fiesta potatoes) so the chat bot has actually been a good reminder to me to have the phone handy so I can give them the check-in code.  At that point the system switches over to a live person to take your order.  

About four months back, Dairy Queen went to a fully automated ordering system at their drive-through. I bristled at the idea but not enough to boycott my Dilly bars.  Since YA and I are creatures of habit at Dairy Queen, it’s pretty simple and we haven’t had any ordering disasters.

Then two weeks ago I was by myself, getting my Dilly bar, and the automated voice had a southern drawl.  I kid you not.  It threw me for a loop and I spent the next hour or so trying to think back; had I completely missed that before?  Then the following week when we were there, it was a male voice with a midwestern accent.  I breathed a sigh of relief – I wasn’t going crazy.  Then yesterday, it was a woman’s voice, but not the southern woman.   

Of course, this leaves me with a bunch of questions.  How many automated voice options are there?  Who chooses which voice for the day (the manager, the person who opens, corporate office)?   Or does the computer randomly pick voices during the course of the day?  If a particular voice gets complaints, can they change it at the store level?  Are the voices patterned after particular people or just AI-generated? What happens if you don’t want to order from a chat bot?  Can you simply repeat “representative” until the computer gives up?

Any chat bots/automated systems driving you crazy?  Or that you’ve made peace with?

Monday All Over Again

Mondays can be tough. Monday two weeks ago I accidentally ripped open a bag of flour in our pantry, which is also called the ‘doghouse’ as it’s a completely impractical storage area six feet deep, with a three foot door opening three feet off the floor, inside a closet. Because Heaven forbid my mom would waste any storage area. My family and I were recently talking about this area; as kids we had to climb in there to get things for mom because the adults could never get in there. 

Long story longer, a month ago I needed something in a hurry from a tote behind a shelf unit in the doghouse. I had to move a bunch of stuff to get the shelf out to get the tote out. I had junk scattered all over the kitchen. And it all sat for a few days because I wanted Kelly’s help putting stuff back. And then early Monday morning, I was doing something in there that I don’t recall and something shifted and as I tried to shift it back, I ripped open the bag of flour. Then I knocked a 48 pack of AA batteries on the floor. It was a new package and batteries went everywhere. I closed the door and went to an eye appointment.

Later in the day, after my eyes cleared up, I started cleaning up the flour and trying to organize. I bought some pull out shelf slides and cut some boards and then realized if you pull out the shelf unit, you can’t get in the closet. So you’d have to be standing in the closet before you pull out the shelf, meaning you’d have to move the stuff in there first, and at that point Kelly said let’s re-evaluate this idea. Always the practical one that woman. 

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The Doghouse Pantry.

This last Monday I stopped at the Farm Service Agency (FSA) office to report my crops for the year. It’s called certification and it’s how the government tracks our production for all those farming handouts we get. I worked for this office back in the 1980’s when it was called the ASCS office. Certifications were easier back then. I had emailed this year’s certification maps into the office twice, trying to get the process done correctly, and there were still some questions. An hour and a half later all was well and I am certifiable. I mean certified. The agent helping me did a great job and when I told her this process was easier 30 years ago she gave me a blank look. Well, it was, I said. It just was. Trust me. 

I went home and was gonna mount the loader back on the tractor for an upcoming lumber delivery. Usually this is a quick five minute job. But I bumped something and something shifted and bolts popped out and the support stands gave way. I stopped the tractor there so as not to make things worse. And then things got sketchy. I used a bunch of those wood blocks I was just saying I didn’t know why I had so many of. And I used a thing called a ‘Porta Power’ that I bought at an auction, and a jack, and a metal stand I’ve been saving for 15 years just for this purpose. I said some prayers and got it all jacked back up and the bolts replaced and the stands back in place and got the loader mounted. Whew! 

I thought I was gonna start mowing weeds this week. I haven’t gotten that done yet. Got some other stuff done though. 

Tuesday morning I donated platelets. It was my 80th donation, meaning 10 gallons (which I quibbled about; donating whole blood 80 times might equal 10 gallons, but not donating platelets even at two units / donation. Still, I got a 10 gallon pin and a new hat.

Our basement bathroom remodeling has begun… I don’t think it will take long as nothing major is really happening. The old cement board shower walls have been removed, and a new shower stall will be installed, a new vanity, and new toilet. With bidet!  

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1968 no more.

I got lumber delivered…more work for me and the boys. 

More on this when we get to it. 

And then I decided to haul in some scrap iron before I take the loader off the tractor again. I loaded up the trailer and when I got out of the tractor there were spots on the front fender, and the inside of the front wheel was wet. That seemed like a problem. 

What you’re looking at here is something pretty special. It’s a hydraulic hose under the tractor that controls the steering. There’s one on each side. This one has developed a leak and was spraying oil around. Usually the dealership can just make up a new hydraulic hose, but for some reason, the parts manual didn’t tell them what parts were needed for this. I took the old one off and up to John Deere. Turns out one end is odd. 

John Deere says there’s two of these hoses in North America. One is in Texas and one is in Canada. Which doesn’t make sense. Something isn’t right. Hydraulic hoses break; how can there only be two of them?? But I’ll get them, on Tuesday. And this whole thing really discouraged me. I had things to do with that tractor the next few days. 

I did have 2700 pounds of scrap iron at $160 / ton. So that will pay for the new hydraulic hoses. 

I’ve got corn tassling! It seems early. 

And these flowers, which I only post because some of you got grumpy about them last year. : – )

Here’s the neighbors cows hanging out.

How now Brown Cow.

The boys helped me do some work at the Rep theater. We hauled out 30 old lighting fixtures that are not used anymore. I’d like to renovate these…create something funky out of them. 

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A car full of fresnels.

ANY ROOMS IN YOUR HOUSE HAVE UNUSUAL NAMES? 

WORST ROOM IN A HOUSE YOU’VE HAD?

Half Butter?

YA and I switched from margarine to butter a long time ago.  It was a hit to our budget at the time so I’ve spent years keeping an eye out for butter on sale.  I have absolutely no brand loyalty to any kind of butter, unless you count the seriously fancy hand churned butter that I get a Kowolskis every couple of years.

I’ve also been lucky enough to have two friends who have worked at dairies.  My friend Tim worked at one of the big names for years and he would regularly be able to grab a pound or two of butter from their “free shop”.  Right about the time he retired, my friend Rita moved to the same company and now part of my solstice gift every year is a gift bag of butter.  Such wonderful friends.

Because of how I acquire some of my butter, I don’t always know what I have in the fridge.  Last week, I opened up a box of butter and was surprised when eight little wrapped bars fell out.  Instead of four ½ cup bars, there were eight ¼ cup bars.  As a baker who goes through quite a bit of butter, I laughed out loud.  I didn’t know anybody packaged butter like this.  I do occasionally need a half a stick of butter but it’s pretty rare and when I do, I just cut a whole bar in half.  Not a reach. 

But I suppose there may actually be a need for these half bars since somebody somewhere when to the trouble to manufacture and package these things???

Butter or margarine?  Any brand loyalty?  Would you appreciate half bars?

Little Dental Offender

Backstory to today’s story.   Quite a few years ago, one of my back teeth broke (no pain.)  And I mean lots of pieces broke.  My dentist sent me to a specialist to extract it (no pain).  Then after a few weeks, I got a bridge.   Fast forward about six years and I was having some discomfort (ok, yeah, pain) and it turns out that the very back tooth of the bridge needed a root canal.  Sigh.  Off to the endodontist for this.  That morning she said she was a bit concerned due a small crack in the tooth but she thought she could make it work.  Easy peasy (no pain).  This was two years back.

Fast forward again to about 3 months ago when I noticed a bit of discomfort during brushing (no pain, just discomfort).  I paid a lot of attention to this because I figured it was the bridge/root canal acting up after two years.  The discomfort really didn’t change so I decided to let it ride until my usual dentist appointment yesterday.

I explained it to the hygienist (Kenzie) and when she poked at the area, there was a little jolt (yes, of pain) and she backed off.  When the dentist came in to do her check, Kenzie said “I saw a little something stuck there”.   I wasn’t sure what in heavens name could be stuck there – I am an every-night brusher/flosser, including under the bridge.  I was prepared this time for the discomfort when the dentist poked about (a smidge of pain).  She mentioned a tooth fragment while she was poking and that gave me immediate thoughts of one of those bridge teeth disintegrating and all those implant commercials I’ve seen recently flooded my brain.  Turns out that the fragment is NOT from any of my current teeth.  It is almost certainly a fragment left over from the initial tooth that was extracted eight years ago.  The dentist showed me a couple of past x-rays and pointed out what she thought may have been the fragment slowly migrating to the surface. 

WOW. Seems like science fiction to me and I probably said “wow” more than once.  And, of course, I was instantly so relieved.   I couldn’t leave the little fragment just sitting there on the dental tray so I convinced Kenzie to find a little sleeve to put it in.  I’m pretty sure I won’t keep it for more than a couple of weeks, but really – WOW.

I’ve never had a souvenir from the dentist before – unless you count floss and toothpaste.  Truly I’m pretty sure I ever want another but for now, this will do.

What’s one of your most unlikely souvenirs? Bonus points if you know where the phrase “little offenders” comes from.