I had a really interesting evaluation question to answer some time ago. It involved helping a psychiatrist with a diagnosis that she just wasn’t certain about. The possible diagnostic alternatives were serious, one more so than the other.
I took an extensive history from the accompanying family member, gave the client in question a series of tests, and came up with an alternative diagnosis that the psychiatrist hadn’t considered. I am still waiting for testing to come back from family members and will then let the psychiatrist know what I am thinking in terms of diagnoses, and what further steps the she needs to take with this client.
It was during the process of doing this evaluation that I got an exhilarating sense that I absolutely loved what I was doing and was absolutely in the right place to be doing it. I don’t often get that feeling, but it is was nice when it happens.
What have been the times you got the feeling that you were absolutely in the right place, job, or relationship?
I live pretty equidistant from about three Indian reservations in three different states. I sometimes see tribal members at my community mental health agency. Part of doing my work is getting a good family history. I have noticed, over 30 years of practice, distinct differences in how tribal members and everyone who is not a tribal member describes family relationships. For my tribal clients, there are any number of aunties, uncles, sisters, and brothers who are important in their lives. They just don’t match how I, in my eurocentric orientation, define family.
A good friend of our, a person who is an Arikara Indian, one of the Three Affiliated Tribes from the Fort Berthold Reservation where Husband works, posted on Facebook recently a way to navigate these family relationships.
This apparently comes from some sort of Mandan, Arikara, and Hidatsa tribal handbook. Here is how you navigate relationships. for boys. Girls are pretty much the same.
Who is my mother?
- My birth mother.
- .My mother’s sister
- My father’s brother’s wife
- My clan father’s wives (My father’s clan brothers)
Who is my father?
- My birth father
- My father’s brothers
- My sister’s husband
- My father’s mother’s brother
- My clan fathers (My father’s clan brothers)
- My father’s sister’s son
Who is my sister?
- My blood sister
- My father’s brother’s daughter
- My sister’s daughters
- My female clan members (My mother’s clan)
- Female children of my father’s clan
- My mother’s sister’s daughter
Who is my brother?
- My blood brothers
- My father’s brother’s sons
- My sister’s son’s
- My mother’s sisters’ sons
- My clan male mothers
- Male children of my fathers’ clan
- My mother’s brother
- My mother’s mother’s brother
Who is my auntie?
- My father’s sisters
- My father’s sister’s daughter-each generation
- My clan aunts (My father’s clan sisters)
Who is my grandmother?
- My mother’s mother
- My mother’s mother’s sister (Grandmother’s sister)
- My father’s mother
- My father’s mother’s sister
- My mother’s father’s sister-each generation
I notice that great uncles, great aunts, and cousins are defined differently here. I also find that if I use this to define my family relationships, I have a lot more siblings, parents, and aunts and uncles. That is kind of comforting.
How do you define family? How would your definition change given the above information?
Today’s post comes from Barbara in Rivertown
Have you ever been waking up in the morning and hear the phone ring, then become fully awake and realize you just imagined it? If so, you may have experienced an auditory hypnagogic hallucination.
In August of 2015, Dr. Laurence Knott of the UK wrote: https://patient.info/doctor/hypnagogic-hallucinations “Hypnagogic or hypnopompic hallucinations are visual, tactile, auditory, or other sensory events, usually brief but occasionally prolonged, that occur at the transition from wakefulness to sleep (hypnagogic) or from sleep to wakefulness (hypnopompic). The phenomenon is thought to have been first described by the Dutch physician Isbrand Van Diemerbroeck in 1664. The person may hear sounds that are not there and see visual hallucinations. These visual and auditory images are very vivid and may be bizarre or disturbing.”
And Wikipedia describe it this way: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia “Hypnagogia is the experience of the transitional state from wakefulness to sleep in humans: the hypnagogic state of consciousness, during the onset of sleep. Mental phenomena that occur during this “threshold consciousness” phase include lucid thought, lucid dreaming, hallucinations, and sleep paralysis.” As you can see, there are several other “conditions” mentioned, that I don’t have the time to explore here.
I love what is sometimes called the “twilight time” as I drift off to sleep, and frequently have little vignettes play out before my (closed) eyes. I have heard seemingly original strains of music that I wish I could write down and remember later. Rather than thinking of it as a medical condition to be “treated”, I often wish they would last longer.
Do you experience any sort of hallucinations upon waking or falling asleep? Or do you have any elaborate daydreams?
Husband and I lived in southern Indiana for a year just after our son was born while Husband finished his psychology internship. It was much warmer than Winnipeg, and we were introduced to many garden plants I had never seen before. Salsify? Who knew what it was and that you could grow it in your garden? The real surprise for me was shell out beans. Those are beans like navy beans, pinto beans, cannellini beans and all sorts of other beans that I had never seen grown in gardens and that you harvest fresh, not dried. We became hooked on them.
We didn’t grow them in our garden until the last 10 years or so due to limited space, when Husband discovered metal bean poles, and we have been growing them ever since. Growing vertically really saves space. This year we are growing Hidatsa Shield Figure Beans and Vermont Cranberry beans. The Hidatsa beans are traditional beans grown by one of the three tribes husband works for on the Rez. They are big, plumpsters that parboil and freeze well. I love them in soup and chili.
The problem with beans like this is that they are addictive. You want more and more. You can read about this phenomenon in this recent New Yorker article:
Most pole bean cultivars of this type need 95-110 days to mature after they germinate. We don’t have that long of a growing season., and we will buy dried beans that we can’t grow here. Recently, I was searching beans on line and found the source listed in the New Yorker article for dozens of exotic and long season dried beans. You could get the traditional French beans for cassoulet (Tarbais beans), flageolet beans, and every exotic South American and Caribbean bean that is currently produced. Husband had to stop me (But we have two ducks in freezer. Let’s whip up some cassoulet!) He reminded me that we didn’t have to order pounds of beans at that moment, and that perhaps we should see what our harvest will be this fall. I agreed, but I am secretly planning an order.
What have you been obsessed with? What is your favorite bean recipe?
I’m not getting much done at work today. During the summer, every Friday is “Bring Your Dog to Work Day” and I am in dog heaven. I keep dog treats in my cube and on Fridays, I actually have a stash in my pocket throughout the day.
Today in addition to Charlie and Bernie Mac and Vegas (GoldenDoodle, Puggle, Doberman) who are here most Fridays, we have a brand new puppy. 8-week old Dave Grohl (name of somebody in some band that I don’t know about), a golden retriever. He has the wonderful puppy smell and that squishy soft puppy skin.
Rufus, Mochi, Brandon and Ash are off today but I’ve petted (and fed) a couple of others, whose names I don’t know, as they travel through the building. I’m on a main aisle and I think the dogs can smell the treats in my pocket as they’re going by so they stop by!
What perk would make your Fridays better?
About 25 years ago we planted 15 feet of raspberries along the fence on the North side of our yard. Husband had inadvertently killed a 4 foot wide strip of grass along the fence the entire length of our property. We planted day lilies and irises in the remaining length of the dead zone. As our raspberries grew and flourished (and spread beyond the original 15 foot bed), so did an ash tree on the other side of the fence along the property line in our neighbor’s yard, throwing increasing shade on the canes. The canes have moved away from the shaded area under the tree over the years and invaded the lawn, leaving a large, empty space along the fence that fills up with weeds. It is hard to walk between the invading raspberries and the strawberry bed. It is impossible to mow.
The raspberries produced prodigiously until this year. The berries were small and hard, and withered immediately after ripening. I suppose there could be disease going on, or else, after so many years of productivity, the new canes that grow up every year are just worn out and don’t have the vigor of the originals we planted. The ash tree is too tall for us to trim, even though we would be within our rights to trim every part of it that hangs over our property. We decided it is time to reclaim the area, dig up the raspberries that are too shaded, and plant hydrangeas, ligularia (aka “The Rocket”), and ostrich ferns, in their place. That shouldn’t cost too much, but it won’t be a picnic digging up those raspberry canes. There are still raspberries that get enough sun, and we will leave them be. They haven’t invaded the lawn yet.
Hydrangeas grow beautifully in our yard, and can cover a large area of landscaping sins. I am tired of such a wild looking back yard. We will have to sell the house in the next few years and it isn’t too early to start sprucing the place up. I look forward to a backyard revival, but not the expense and the labor that will go into it.
If money and labor were no object, how would you change the landscaping in your yard?
My father-in-law was buried in a large Presbyterian Church in Littleton, CO. We met at the church at 10:00 am for the service to place his ashes in the Columbarium in the church yard, and then trooped inside for the memorial service. My father-in-law and mother-in-law had chosen the music for the funeral a couple of years ago. Neither of them knew a whole lot about church music or the pragmatics of congregational singing. There were issues.
The first hymn we all had to sing was “The Lord’s Prayer”. It is very difficult for a congregation to sing, being better handled by a soloist. (Our daughter-in-law has a beautiful voice and sang it at my parents’ funerals. ) It really doesn’t have a set tempo, and the tempo changes as the song progresses. Then we had to sing “How Great Thou Art”. That went a little better, but the whole thing was made worse by the piano player.
The piano player was an elderly man who played the grand piano in the sanctuary like Liberace. I was surprised there was no tip jar. He is the main keyboard player for the church, and he is a soloist, not an accompanist, who seemed to not care a bit if he helped the congregation get through the hymns. He was loud and bombastic. and played with lots of arpeggios and ornamentation. It was all about him and how flashy he could play. I would find attending regular services there really annoying.
I suppose I have been spoiled by the wonderful music I have been exposed to in the Lutheran churches I have attended in my life. This experience made me decide to to write down what music I want at my funeral.
What music do you want to celebrate your life when you are gone?