Uncategorized

Ages of Man

76 Comments

Here’s the latest angst-ridden message from perennial sophomore Bubby Spamden.
I think the dark days of late January are starting to get to him.

Hey Mr. C.,

I’m wondering if it’s possible to erase blog posts forever.

The last time I wrote I admitted that I was kinda sick of being held back as a high school sophomore over and over and over again. After all, it’s been twenty-five years! But now that I’ve had time to think about it, I kinda wanna take that back.

When I started at Wendell Wilkie High School, holding the same job for a quarter of a century was the sort of thing a guy could be proud of, so I started boasting about it. I figured maybe I’d get a gold pocket watch for loyal service, but then I found out nobody gets a pocket watch anymore. Modern pockets are full of cell phones and iPods. Who needs a watch? Besides, people aren’t impressed if you stick around the same place for a long time. They want to know what’s wrong with you!

So one idea I had was that I could go backwards instead … back to the 4th grade, where I heard some schools were giving the kids free iPads! I could really enjoy being nine years old again with a deal like that. But now there’s all this fuss over a new book – Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother – where this one mom talks about how super-tough she was with her kids, forcing them to skip meals to practice the piano, forbidding sleepovers, and threatening to burn their stuffed animals if they didn’t work harder.

Some people are real upset over it and others think maybe she’s on to something. The first group says every kid needs to have fun and be social in order to grow. The second group just has a problem with stuffed animals, I guess. It’s a real loud argument, and I’m not sure who’s right. I don’t think I could take the pressure of either approach, frankly. It gives me a tummy ache to think about being in fourth grade again.

So then I started thinking maybe it was time at last to start moving forward. But now there’s this new study that says it’s more stressful than ever to be a college freshman and things are just getting worse at that level. Today’s college students have to deal with all sorts of upsetting things – unemployed parents, tuition debt and poor job prospects – not to mention the every day social pressure to keep your Facebook posts upbeat and your Twitter feed funny. It gives me a rash to think about being in college.

I guess what I’m saying is that the second year of high school is the perfect place for me. I feel way too old to be shaped for the future and way too young to be burdened with it. You could say I’m in the sweet spot, age-wise!

So could you delete that post from earlier this month where I said I wanted to move on? And then could you delete this one too? I’m trying to cover my tracks so I can stay invisible for another twenty-five years!

Your friend,
Bubby

I’m not sure how to tell Bubby this, but our digital trail may be even more lasting than dinosaur bones or newspapers preserved in a landfill. The thoughts he expressed about wanting to stop being a perennial sophomore aren’t going away. I’m afraid his only hope is that his awkward confession will be as hard to find as a specific tree in the forest of words that is the Internet. That, and continuing to fail 10th grade algebra, may keep him safe.

What is the best age to be in 2011?

76 thoughts on “Ages of Man”

  1. Excellent question, Dale, we shall have to consider that over breakfast. After a mold-filled evening at Science Fair (you are so right, Linda!) the fifth and sixth graders get the annual ski trip. My son went skiing for the first time last year and loved it, is thrilled to bits to be going again this year (I am just thinking safe thoughts with snowburn being the worst casualty).

    I think I am pretty strict, but would never threaten innocent stuffed animals or force anyone to skip a meal, so I think being 10-12 is a pretty good spot in 2011. My thought is that the economy and everything else will have worked itself out by the time they have to shoulder responsibility for it (do not ruin this for me, sage Baboons-this is my pipe dream and I am sticking to it!)

    Thanks for the excellent update last night, BiR!

    Like

    Reply

  2. BEFORE WE GET STARTED…. everyone needs to check out Bing.com this morning. Blevins is front and center! I spent awhile trying to figure out if I could put a picture here, but apparently WordPress doesn’t allow this.

    As to the best age…. I hate these kinds of questions, because a truthful answer from me will remind you all how sappy I am. I like the age I am for 2011… if I think of other ages, I think what this year and age has brought me and I wouldn’t want to give any of that up. See…. sap city!

    Like

    Reply

      2. So noble, so ruggedly handsome, so fresh from a shower and a comb out. But he needs to shave his upper lip. Whiskers right there are singularly irritating.

        Like

        Reply

      5. thats funny as hell. i did not wear a hat today and noticed i ahave the art grfunjkle look working for me. does that work really, i am a god if that is the look. i hate missing the blog in the morning. i once heard that if a man can’t keeop his garden in order his life is in a shambles. i am feeling a bit that way but it is coning out of the tailspin…. i have power to the computer as of 1 28 1 6p, i am back on track… just before the crash and burn i turn skyward and am back among the baboons…… life is good

        Like

        Reply

  3. Rise and Shine Baboons:

    I thought that the movie “Back to the Future” proved that one could go both forward and backwards in time. And that movie proves that some works of creative invention never die. Bubby, watch that a few times in order to figure how to be even more frozen in time than you are.

    Meanwhile, I always think the best time is now, which is not a zippy answer. Just a true one. In the 1970’s and 1980’s I interviewed my grandmother many times about her life. Unfortunately she became so nervous speaking into a tape recorder, that I only have 10 minutes of her on tape. Grandma lived from 1897 – 1997, missing her 100th birthday by 5 months. She felt she lived in times of such change–the end of the Industrial Revolution to the beginning of the computer age. She was born into kerosene lamps and horse and buggy technology, and died in digital technology. She usually said the best time was now, although she did not enjoy the Great Depression on a farm.

    Meanwhile, I just caught up with yesterday’s blog:

    BiR–glad the surgery is over. Best wishes for husband’s recovery.
    Joanne–my favorite addition to turkey soup is wild rice and mushrooms. Delish, but I must be too late with that.
    VS–YES. The cardboard box is the BEST toy of all. My son and I had the same project back in the day. A large cardboard box is the source of endless delight.

    Like

    Reply

  4. Glad that not everyone stays in high school and that some folks carry on to become heart surgeons, etc. BiR thanks for sharing the good news. Wishing you and your rearranged husband an uneventful day.

    In Egypt one of the government’s first tasks in stopping the revolution was to turn off the internet. Who knew that pictures of kittens on pianos were so revolutionary?

    Like

    Reply

  5. I think I like being the age I am in 2011 – I get all the wisdom and experience I have gathered over the 40-some years I’ve been around. Added bonus: I have a six-year-old around who lets me play with my inner six-year-old from time to time (my inner six-year-old gets to go skating in the middle of the day with the other six and sever-year-olds today…last week I was with the same kids talking about string instruments and playing a borrowed ukulele).

    BiR – didn’t get back online last night, but so glad to hear that all went well yesterday. Hope Michael is home soon, and hope you got some good, restful sleep last night.

    Like

    Reply

  6. I am glad I am the age I am, and worry for my kids and their life paths, but I imagine my mother worried for me and her mother worried for her and so on through time. Daughter is in a state of irritation and fuss this morning, as she had to get up at 5:30 to get on the bus for the U of Mary Jazz festival in Bismarck (her swing choir is singing), and of course she is too disorganized to realize until this morning that her nylons all have runs and she can’t find her black dress shoes (I put them away) and my nylons are too dark in her opinion but she is stuck wearing them since she doesn’t want to wear ones with runs. It isn’t real fun being her today. On a positive note, she made All State Choir and she gets her braces off on Monday. Life is complicated no natter how old you are.

    Like

    Reply

      2. I really can’t understand how someone who can play complicated pieces on the violin and can sing Italian arias and sight reads so well can’t organize her clothes and keep track of the state of her nylons and match up her socks when they come out of the dryer. Is it poor parenting? A hidden disability? I wonder what Bubby would say about it?

        Like

        Reply

      3. Bigger things to think about. My son cannot remember the most basic daily life things, but historical dates, astromical facts-all lined up and right at his fingertips.

        Nice to know there is another good mom out there with this problem-it could be worse, is my mantra.

        Like

        Reply

      4. Renee I would caution you not to judge your daughter on how well she manages this simple clothing stuff. She might be clumsy there the rest of her life, but she might really surprise you when she moves out of your home and takes full responsibility for her life. My own daughter astonished me by being a neat-freak when she had her own space. You would NOT have seen that in her when she was a child.

        Like

        Reply

      5. I have a friend like this – she is crazy smart, really good at what she does (she has been in PR, mostly dealing with reproductive rights and womens’ health, and now runs a state branch of one of the national pro-choice groups). She cannot, however, manage to be on time. Organization of her personal stuff is not necessarily a strong suit. She can run laps around elected officials with her words, but was awful about forgetting appointments or being late for things when she was in high school. As my mother observed then (on a day when I was frustrated by her inability to remember that she and I were supposed to be doing something), “she is smart, but not always wise.” She has, however, grown into “wise.”

        Congrats on the all state choir – and hope the braces coming off Monday make up for unappealing nylon tone today.

        Like

        Reply

      6. O, how fun to PO mom, and make her take care of me. Then one day she will be gone and she will have to learn to do it . . . or not. And how you will miss her irritating ways.

        Like

        Reply

      8. I’m having a puzzle/pain day w/ the teenager. I have forcefully reminded myself more than once today that the joy days are way more plentiful!

        Like

        Reply

      9. In my daughter’s thinking processes today, the whole problem wasn’t her lack of organization and planning. Instead, the crisis was a result of my inadequte fashion sense and the purchase of stockings in a shade she didn’t like. When I told her that her lack of planning didn’t make for an emergency on my part, she was less than happy with me (although I know she knew I was right). Oh, the dances we do to nurture and launch.

        Like

        Reply

      10. Ha! I think we’re sharing the same psychic child today! From her perspective, it is my fault that she didn’t go out front to see if her phone had fallen from her pocket after she got dropped off last night.

        Like

        Reply

      11. I’ve had a little experience with the problems of raising children and also trying to manage classrooms full of kids as a sub teacher. I have never been very good at getting kids to behave. The one thing I learned is that you can’t force a kid to do anything if they resist unless it is something that is really necessary. Most of the time they really can choose to ignore you and it is usually best to back off if they wouldn’t do what you ask. However, you should continue to try to get them to do things that you believe they should do.

        Like

        Reply

  7. Not newly retired, at least for me, maybe for some, those who have health and money. But even with that, living in a retiree/snowbird community, such as we are visiting, would not fit me.
    Re the Tiger Mother: America, could we please find the truth in the middle, for once, for the sake of our kids this time?
    BiR: pastored couples through this a dozen times or more. The bigger burden is on you for a few days. Take care of thyself. Somehow manage to eat right, build yourself a bit of a nest near Michael that is your “calm place,” with your music on ear phones, your book, your prayer place, where you train yourself to breath right, meditate, etc.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Clyde… I completely agree w/ you about Tiger Mother. I haven’t read the book (although I did have it on my library request list for awhile – it’s deleted now). I’ve read several different opinion pieces online of folks who have read it and have decided that I don’t need to read it. She’s entitled to her opinion and her parenting style, but the few excerpts I have seen sound “holier than thou” and very extreme. Really, when did the middle of the road become suspect?

      Like

      Reply

      1. Is there ANY aspect of modern life where the middle of the road is respected? I honestly have to say that after a few years of experience and way too much reading on the subject, the only valid parenting advice that seems to work across the board is “know and love thy child”.

        Like

        Reply

  8. Good morning to all,

    Well I think being almost any age should be okay. I like the early years of retirement which is where I am at. It will be better when my wife is also retired and we live closer to our children and their families. Graduate school years were good, in some ways, because I took my time completing my degrees and had time to do other interesting things that were going on in those years.

    None of the years that I have lived have been good ones when it comes the way things have been going in the world. Lots of serious problems. The future also doesn’t look too good, but I still hope it will get better.

    Can we be like Methuselah and live for nearly 1000 years? It will probably take that long for man kind to learn how to live together. I would pick a year far into the future when I would be over 900 years old and when I hope the world would be peaceful.

    Like

    Reply

      3. The place where we are planning to live has a large yard and I will be looking for some other places to supliment the gardening space in the lawn.

        Like

        Reply

  9. This is an unusually difficult question for me. I can think of two times in my adult life when I was exceptionally happy, healthy and optimistic about my future. The optimism turned out to be based partially on ignorance and false hopes, and so the lovely sense of completeness did not last.

    I ask myself it it would be good to return to those earlier stages of life when the future seemed so good, or is it better to be wiser and sadder? I liked it better when illusions were still attainable dreams. At least it felt better.

    All I need to enjoy today is the news from Barbara and Michael. Six hours? Oh, my.

    Like

    Reply

  10. Kopepellis in a TGI Fridays in Mesa

    Three old men without our wives,
    Who have gone off on their own marital reprieve,
    In a Friday’s – named for the day that has lost meaning in our lives—
    Searching for something new on a menu we have worn out,
    Irritating the waitress, who for the sake of the tip, shows it not,
    Who stands through this with patient after patient.
    I mean she is patient with customer after customer.
    We not deciding over the same three choices on our endless non-Fridays.
    Wearing Elk River VFW jackets to show to the brotherhood
    The non-secret sign of the non-secret order of the non-Arizonan Arizonian.

    Shall we talk of snow back there,
    Or of the operations we have all had,
    Talking as if the others had not had.
    Or of our regimen of pills?
    Or choosing to be upset about these sports teams here
    Or those sports teams back there–
    A perfect place in which to live for the perfectionist sports fan.

    Do we notice the only young in the place are the nurse/waitresses,
    Who show enough breast to catch and not arouse the old male eye,
    To catch and not make too envious the old female eye?
    To earn the tip to pay for the gas that drives them into our safe haven
    On non-Friday after non-Friday until they earn their Friday.
    Do they talk and laugh about us when gone from here?
    Or are we as easily forgotten as we dare not fear we are?

    Do we notice our backs are bent to the same C
    As the Kopepellis on the wall holding their flutes.
    We know they are Navaho, in some vague way,
    But so common here as to be the tartan of the clan?

    Like

    Reply

  12. Morning–

    I’m pretty happy with this age too… except I wish I had my 18yr old knees again. But yeah… the here and now is good.

    Continue to hang in there BiR and Michael!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Got this from a friend of mine this morning and it seems appropriate:

      “Don’t mess with the old dogs… Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.”

      Like

      Reply

    2. I want my 16-year-old knees and the hips, too. (I tore up one knee at 17 and so would prefer the pre-injured knee, thank you – with the pre-injured knee, I might not have also screwed up the opposing hip favoring the bad knee…sigh.)

      Like

      Reply

  13. Discussed today’s question with the 12-year-old to get his perspective. As I have mentioned here before, we have a friend who is 106 who still gets out and about quite a lot on her own two tiny feet. He thinks it would be cool to be her age and have seen all she has seen through time (I’m not so sure he would like to have lived through it all, however)

    Like

    Reply

  14. I did not go back to Sedona, so why did my computer?
    And why am I thinking of Peter Mayer this morning? So listened to this walking in 45 degrees this morning:
    This morning, outside I stood
    And saw a little red-winged bird
    Shining like a burning bush
    Singing like a scripture verse
    It made me want to bow my head
    I remember when church let out
    How things have changed since then
    Everything is holy now
    It used to be a world half-there
    Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
    But I walk it with a reverent air
    ‘Cause everything is holy now

    Like

    Reply

    1. Oh, Clyde… you are really on the same wavelength as I am this morning. This is one of my favorite songs in the universe! Heard it first on MS and I also have a friend who sings it every now and then at church. AND, on a normal traffic day, I can play it 3.5 times on my car CD player before I get to the office!

      Like

      Reply

  15. The best age depends on the answer to this question from the movie “Contact” – “Ellie Arroway: Well, I suppose it would be, how did you do it? How did you evolve, how did you survive this technological adolescence without destroying yourself?” If we can find a satisfactory answer, the best age would be that of my grandchildren, ages one through seven. If not, I’ll stick with my late sixty’s.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Absolutely! The movie was good, but if you want a really thought-provoking read, the book is superb.

      Welcome H Michael!

      Like

      Reply

    3. Ha, Michael! Welcome. You have raised my hopes that I’m not the most ancient geezer on this blog, not that that matters. This group has fairly tolerant attitudes toward folks who have been around the track quite a few times. And we do like to hear new voices, like yours. Welcome.

      Like

      Reply

    4. Well, Steve and H Michael, in less than a year I will no longer be able to say I am in my sixty’s. How did I get this old? I also welcome you, H. Michael.

      Like

      Reply

  16. My happiest years were in my mid-twenties to mid-thirties. I was working as a nurse, did NOT own a house, had lots of money and lots of friends, was in a more or less committed relationship, and had started playing music with others in a group. It was the most balanced time of my life. Now, I feel like my life revolves around work and home maintenance. Many of my friends have moved away and my “more or less committed relationship” ended years ago (we’re still friends and stay in touch regularly.) My circle of musical friends has grown a lot and I’ve grown with it, so that is a benefit of age.

    I’m looking forward to the future now. I’ve gone through some tough stuff in the last decade. I’m older and wiser and still like to have fun. I’m fortunate to be part of a generation that has always understood that peace, justice and enjoying life should be a priority for everyone! 🙂

    Best wishes to you and Michael today, Barbara! I’m glad to hear that Thurgery went well and that you’re both going to be okay!

    Like

    Reply

  17. I think the best age to be is sort of in the middle, maybe about 36 or so. At that age you’re young enough to still have parents (and maybe grandparents) living, but old enough to have attained some distance from whatever issues you had when you were younger.

    It’s easy to be nostalgic about being a kid and how simple and unencumbered your life was then. But the trade-off was that you had no power and very little freedom.

    Mid-30’s is also a good age to be when you need to find a job. It’s sort of the sweet spot in an average working life.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I think you are right, Linda. By the mid-thirties you are you, without all the question marks surrounding a teenager, and yet you have so much life ahead of you. It interests me that when I have a dream in which I can see myself, I am in my mid-thirties. It is as if my unconscious has selected 35 as the appropriate moment in my development to say, “Yup, that’s Steve!”

      Like

      Reply

    1. would love to and the s&h even thought it sounded like an ok idea-however-I am sad to say I have been fighting a cough (and it is winning) all week and besides hoping to stay in a bunch and gain the upper hand, I would feel so bad being the one to give a cold to Word Girl.

      Like

      Reply

      3. We’ll give it our deepest consideration. I really would like to make the pilgrimage for the first and last time. I see in the reviews it is comparable to Kopp’s in Milwaukee-loved that.

        A lot will have to do with how I feel about getting behind the wheel of a car.

        Like

        Reply

      4. I’m sure frozen custard is a cure-all. (There is a saying that garlic is as good as ten mothers…pretty sure frozen custard is as good as 12…)

        Like

        Reply

  20. I will have to agree about the mid-30s — was mom of a darling little kid, my folks were still active and traveling, I was teaching a lot of folk dance… thought I could tame the world!

    Thanks for “Fri-C-U” day, Linda. 🙂 It was a good one, if rather long. I’ll have to say I’m so impressed with the surgeons, doctors, nurses — at HCMC, and I have a new, healthy respect for Western medicine. Husband is doing well, gets out of ICU tomorrow. I can now find the coffee shops, cafeteria, and library if I can tear myself away… today I didn’t want to miss any of Doctors’ visits, etc.

    Have fun at Liberty Custard, ‘booners – have one for me.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks for checking in! It’s good to know everything is going as expected.

      Have a good Saturday. I hope it’s just a regular Saturday, with no distinguishing features to name it after.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment