Goats in the News

Goats usually wind up in the news for one of two reasons.

1) Grazing on prominent or public lands as a cost efficient way of clearing weeds.
2) Being locked in the trunk of a car, sometimes painted to look like Brett Favre.

Thank goodness it’s option number one this time, as it appears there is no limit to our amazement that goats will do an efficient job of nibbling a field. The latest media stars are a group of animals who are munching away at the Palos Verdes Nature Preserve in California. Among their constant companions are a keeper (goatherder) and his dog, referred to by the L.A. Times as Choi and Troy. You’ll have to read the story to figure out which is which. Ultimately it doesn’t matter – they both have pretty cool entry-level jobs on the ground floor of what may turn out to be our coming goat-based economy.

In the sports department, I’m sorry to say the Chelan High School Goats lost to Granger at the state basketball tournament in Yakima, Washington. You won’t find a lot of high schools flying the goat banner. When it comes to mascots the sports world is heavily weighted towards big cats and birds of prey, but it’s hard to think of an animal more hardy and nimble than a goat. Too bad climbing up the backboard isn’t allowed!

In Potomac, Maryland, there are quadruplets! That’s almost a complete basketball team in one litter.

In the arts section, there’s word in the St. Paul Pioneer Press about a play called β€œGoats” which is being presented by the Minnesota Jewish Theater.
There are no actual goats in the show, which might be a disappointment for literalists in the audience. But then there were no real cats in “Cats”, either. The production is on through March 27th at the Hillcrest Center Theater, 1978 Ford Parkway in St. Paul.

As long as we’re on the topic of ungulates in show biz, here’s a shot from the MeadowWild Farm Barnies, being awarded perpetually at Barb and Steve’s blog, Out to Pasture.

In a science fiction movie, this is what would happen if those animals clearing the Palos Verdes Nature Preserve accidentally wandered into a top secret military testing area, ate radioactive weeds, got past Choi and Troy and began to mingle with the Hollywood folk.

Crimes Against Nature? Yes, but they’re award winners too!

What current news story might be improved by the addition of a few goats?

67 thoughts on “Goats in the News”

  1. Morning all. I don’t know much about goat personalities, but I’m hoping that almost any news story would be improved w/ the addition of goats. My cynical side (the side that comes out after watching all four of the Indiana Jones movies in one day [while painting]) says that goats HAVE to be a little more civil than human beings. That’s my hope anyway.

    And I haven’t been reading all the stories recently, since the headlines are vile enough, but I think any story sporting a picture of Charlie Sheen would be greatly improved w/ a picture of the litte quadruplet goats from Potomac Patch!

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    1. Good idea, VS. Are goats impulsive? They might have a lot in common with Mr. Sheen. I know he says he has “Tiger Blood”. Could he also claim “Goat Brains”?

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      1. out of the six, only two could be called impulsive, Dale.
        1. T follows his Johnson anywhere – off a cliff, if need be. we’re not sure there’s much of a brain in his noggin – but no need – he just needs to pass on his devastatingly fine body πŸ™‚
        and 2. Lassi – oh dear.
        we need to protect these two from themselves.

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      2. Dale, if Charlie Sheen and goats are to be compared, it isn’t the goat brain he can claim…after all the Greek satyr isn’t half goat by mistake…

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  2. a gracious good morning to You All, and thanks for the goat-news update, Dale!

    i agree with VS that almost any story could be improved with the addition of a goat-interest.
    but sorry, VS, things are not always peaceful and calm out there. but always, always much better than anything on tv. to my anthropomorphizing eye, the goats’ social order and how they establish and maintain it is often quite distressing. Alpines especially, as a breed, are “spirited” to say the least. i have calm goats most of the time, but right now with Alba pregnant and Dreamy not, there is quite a bit of jostling going on. but no one is saying they are an alien rockstar.

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  3. Rise and Shine Baboons:

    Certainly the budget stories coming out of both Washington, D.C. and St. Paul, MN could be improved with the addition of some goats. A lot of the goatish behavior displayed by humans in these scenarios, could be validated by the simple reality of actual goats. Then there is the Madison, Wisconsin scenario. The governor’s mansion occupied by goats, governor goats taking phone calls from business goats; goats running amok in the capital rotunda; goats in sandwich boards sporting rebellious signs. Wouldn’t it be easier to just allow the Billy Goats to butt heads as they do in reality? But which reality? Goat reality or human reality? Or maybe they aren’t that different.

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    1. Good morning to all.

      I think it would be good to change the names of of some Minnesota sports teams to The Goats. I wouldn’t do this because the teams are doing badly. I would do it to encourage the teams to be more goat-like. They should follow the example of goats and be filled with energy, nibble, and good spirited. I’m thinking that changing the name of the Timberwolves to The Goats would be good. Kevin Love already has kind of a goat-like approach with constant energy, ability to go after rebounds, and good humor. I think goats would be good rebounders if they played basketball.

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      1. great idea, Jim. they might rebound, but they wouldn’t share the ball real well. my goats’ motto seems to be “one for one and all for none” so even in tennis, they might not hit the ball back once they got their little hooves on it.
        i think they’d be really good goalies if another goat was the puck. very good at guarding whatever they deem is theirs – which is everything.

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      2. Goats on Ice! (or maybe Ungulates on Ice, to be more inclusive)

        They do look mighty fine in sparkly outfits, so why not?

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      3. It is a problem if they will not share the ball. I think you might want one or two of them not defense to go after the ball. At least they could keep the other team from scoring.

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  4. There are a few folks I’d like to place in the role of the Troll Under the Bridge in the Three Billy Goats Gruff: the Governor of WI, Michelle Bachmann, maybe Brett Favre (though he might be a bit chewy and tough to eat)…

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      1. She’s certainly trollish enough when she’s baiting liberals and performing for the media! A writer friend of mine with an Icelandic background would say, however, that legendary trolls are just doing what trolls are supposed to do, and likening them to Bachmann is an insult. Since I like goats better than trolls, I don’t believe I agree. Anyone want to nominate a bridge for Michelle to take up residence? I’m thinking something old, crumbling and neglected over a polluted waterway favored by mosquitoes, but that’s just me.

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      2. I have not yet selected a bridge, but your challenge will keep me going for months. Right now I’m thinking that surely Louisiana has a really grimy and decrepit bridge harboring vicious mosquitoes and alligators.

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      3. Poor Louisiana… don’t they have their plates full? I’m thinking a bridge somewhere far away for all the trolls in our lives that we need to banish. Maybe in National Volcano Park at Kilauea this week?

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      4. Trolls will, indeed, be trolls. Given that the Goats Gruff troll is mostly there to be ornery and impede traffic, he begins to seem a lot like Bachmann…I’m sure we could find her a nice bridge by some polluted body of water.

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      5. How about that bridge in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with some (was it a?) troll/keeper at one end that wouldn’t let them through…

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      6. That’s my favorite scene from Monty Python! I can’t usually remember what kind of swallow – or the follow-up question (African or European, right?).

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      1. I was laughing as the spell checker installed renal so for me. I will go back and see the intended but thanks foenlrtting me know you back read. I often just put that stuff in ther for me.

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      2. I think I was writingnthat I will try backing down on lifes high speed foe no reason tactical approach andnit ended saying I will renaldo on it with you ( renaldo is a retired brazilian one man team soccer player who retire this year, kind of the opposite of the intent)

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  5. Goats in the news? Lets have them start charging tolls on the freeways from Wisconsin. We couuld let north Dakota in free huh? And Canada could be done completely with goats I am sure. The requirement for goats to be border guards would be simple collect money and smell for bombs. I justgota 148 dollar speeding ticket for going 35 in a 30. If they can do that they can fix the budget with a 250 entry fee to get into Minnesota. Not all the time… Just random days so you wouldn’t scare everyone away, justbcatxh them when we need an extra 50,000,000 or so.

    And how about the goats in Florida spring training? We have a Japanese guy and a goat. Both have huge followings of camera crews that are capturing their every move

    More snow for southeast mn? Ben knew to go to thensouth but Clyde camr back from california for this, goats and Clyde are the only ones left in Mankato as the next blizzard prepares to rear it’s lionlike head, I think march will go out like a goat this year

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    1. Greg Brown Speed Trap Boogie

      It’s a nice little town
      It’s a clean little town
      It’s a nice little, clean little, happy little, friendly little
      ———— town for miles around
      But you’re speedin’
      Speedin’
      Pull it over
      Roll down the window
      And lay your money down

      We got a new swimmin’ pool
      We got a new town hall
      A new old folks home and a bowlin alley
      You didn’t see none a that at all
      You’re speedin’
      Speedin’
      Pull it over
      Roll down the window
      And lay your money down

      I know it’s 3o’clock in the morn
      I know that you been drivin’ through
      Corn, corn, corn
      Your eyes are red and you look unhappy
      Here is my advice
      Check into a motel
      Folks here are real nice
      (instrumental break)
      Your left tail light’s out
      I’m gonna let that pass
      I see your license expired yesterday
      And I believe you’re nearly out of gas
      And you’re speedin’
      Speedin’
      Pull it over
      Roll down the window
      And lay your money down
      Just lay it down
      Cash
      Now
      It’s the town ——
      We live here
      You can’t go twelve through here

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      1. Yep exactly, the sad part ia I think I was pulled over because I was driving in my sons beat up 95 volvo with one on my slouch hats on and I am guessing they had me profiled as the guy they wanted to ticket rather than the speeder who gets nailed because of reckless driving.preying on the poor folk with 150 dollar tickets makes me sick.

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  6. Tim, traffic fines are so low in North Dakota that I am surprised that anyone drives the speed limit, ever. I noticed in the paper the other day that the fine for open container is $50. I think that fine is even more criminal than the open container. Goats on the bench, administering justice, now that would be interesting.

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    1. My dad was from the duck hunting culture where you would open the bottle of crown royal and throw away the cap. I mean after all you are hunting…north Dakota brings back many fond guy memories station wagons with way backs full of cousins hunting with beef jerkey Copenhagen and big green cigars, walking the sloughs with duck boats and decoys beforensun up, marking the turnoff on the road to et to the farmers field with something , almost anything on a fence post, if you could teach goats to scare up pheasants there would have been a great place for them too..

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  7. I will think about this while I’m shoveling. 😐 It’s not an unmanageable amount, but enough already.

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    1. After spending 12+ hours yesterday painting and stencilling and then cleaning up mess, I just drove right over the snow today with the hopes that Mother Nature will do some of the work for me before I get home tonight. And apologies to my mail carrier for not shoveling the front walk either!

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  8. I like the mental image of goats giving Ms. Bachman’s backside big nudges off the national stage. Or Wisconsin’s Governor – either one would look good.

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  9. All of this talk about goats reminds me of seeing Mountain Goats at Glacier National Park late last summer. You could look way up on the steep side of a mountain and see them with binoculars. They were moving white spots climbing around in areas where there hardly seemed any way they could keep from falling. They were amazing in their ability to climb on those steep sloops.

    Maybe we need a goat to show Obama how climb up the difficult political terrain he seems to be facing. Do you think T could show Obama the way?

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  10. Thank you from the 6th District for a whole herd of support from the Baboon Congress. Sometimes it is so embarrassing to be represented in Congress by a person who ranks well below both goats and trolls!

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    1. at least you have the satisfaction of being able to vote against her. The rest of us can only wring our hands in dismay.

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  11. ‘Way off topic (unless we’re talking about trolls). Not to bring up painful stuff, but for those of you who have gone through a divorce with kids involved, I have a question: Did whoever got to stay in the house allow the other to visit the kids there while he/she wasn’t around?

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    1. In my experience working with divorced families, that scenario rarely works. You must consider, though, that I work with a select population of divorced families that don’t problem solve very well.

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    2. yep they had free reign. i do have exceptional kids though. thye screwed up on occasion and got caught. they may have on other occasions and not got caught but they certainly had the freeedom and opportunity to shoot in their hat

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      1. I see I could be clearer – I’m actually wondering about the spouse who moved out — was he/she allowed to visit the kids when the spouse-who-got-the-house wasn’t present? In this case, the locks were changed, the kids have keys, the spouse who left isn’t allowed in the house anymore.

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      2. BiR… in the families that I know well enough to know the answer to your question (3)… the one who left the house did not come around except when the other parent was around. Sometimes to talk things over or to pick up the kids, but never that I know of to hang out when main custodial parent was not around. However, as far as I could tell, this wasn’t so much that the non-custodial parent wasn’t “allowed” but because he (yes, all three were men) didn’t really want to do this.

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    3. Thanks for responses – it’s the mom who left, so the dad is the one in the house… It’s all so painful to watch, but I guess it isn’t that unusual a situation.

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  12. Don’t look for goats to be at the state Capitol in Madison-the new regulations there exclude (at the top of the list, thank you very much) Animals/Snakes.

    Apparently, snakes are not exactly animals (although it has been argued of late that some people are snakes and should perhaps be excluded) very sticky wicket indeed.

    I used to live in Madison, and I can tell you, goats on State Street, that could work.

    Weren’t there sheep on the White House grounds during one of the World Wars? I think goats to maintain the grounds today would be a fine cost-saving measure.

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      1. could we offer goat teachers too. another fine cost saving measure. i think they had goats for teachers in world war 1. yeah thats the ticket

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  13. I don’t have anything to offer but thanks for not disappointing me cause I hoped yesterday that *someone* would mention Ms. B. today.

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