Uncategorized

Slather on the Blather

82 Comments

Leaving work yesterday, I found the following note stuck to the windshield of my car with a humongous blob of oily cream that smelled like a pina colada.

Avast, landlubbers!

Me and me boys is mighty disappointed in the USDA fer steppin’ in where it ain’t wanted, darin’ t’ re-write th’ flimsy rules what governs th’ labelin’ and sellin’ of sunscreen!

They’s tinkerin’ with somethin’ that’s mighty near an’ dear t’ this here group of pirates!

Bein’ out at sea most of th’ time, me an’ the boys is always payin’ attention t’ the exposure our skin gets t’ th’ harmful rays o’ th’ sun. Skin cancers an’ heavy wrinkles ain’t pretty. An’ while “pretty” has never been a word used t’ describe any pirate who wasn’t also Johnny Depp, we is normal humans like the rest of yas and naturally wants t’ look our best!

Accordingly, it has been our habit, while pilferin’ and raidin’ domiciles on shore, t’ look fer, an’ acquire fer our own use, any sunscreen boastin’an SPF of 50 or more! This is due t’ th’ general pirate’s code, which sez the bigger th’ number value of anythin’, th’ more desirable that thing must be! In fact, some of me boys has collected vast reserves of Coppertones an’ Neutrogenas and Banana Boats, totallin’ SPF fortunes in the billions when they is all added together.

As Capt., I is mighty pleased t’ have me boys trackin’ their wealth in this manner, rather than arguin’ with me over who gets t’ have how much of the silver an’ gold! That way lies danger! Better t’ have them tussle over the sunscreen!

This strange predilection might have somethin’ t’ do with a strange but widespread belief among me boys that SPF stands for “Sexy Pirate Face”.

I don’t know where they got that idea.

An’ now th’ USDA is considerin’ a rule t’ outlaw any sunscreen claimin’ t’ have a SPF over 50, on account of some scientific opinion that SPF numbers higher than 50 is “meaningless”! Meaningless?

Well it ain’t meaningless t’ us! T’ us, sunscreen with SPF’s up in the hundreds represents currency, wealth, and that fresh cocoanutty smell that makes us think of girls in bikinis an’ tall drinks with umbrellas!

I’m warnin’ ye! Don’t mess w’ our economy, or we’ll be forced to mess with yours!

Yer friendly scourge of the seas,
Capt’ Billy.

What unusual commodity is as good (to you) as money?

82 thoughts on “Slather on the Blather”

  1. we likes 2-quart jars (Ball or Kerr) here in Blackhoof and right now theys as scarce as hens’ teeth. we needs ’em for all the milk that’s flowin’ right now. Terra and Freya leaves for Iowa on saturday mornin’ and we’s thinkin’ of takin’ payment for them in 2-quart jars.
    good mornin’ to ye All

    Like

    Reply

    1. I wish I had known you when I cleaned out my mother’s house. I gave many jars away, some 1/2 gallon. This collection was the residue of my grandmother’s canning days during the depression.

      Like

      Reply

  2. When the teenager was younger, I bartered for babysitting time. Cooking and baking were the most desired services in exchange for babysitting.

    Like

    Reply

    1. You babysat for others in exchange for cooking and baking or you cooked and baked for others babysitting your child?

      Like

      Reply

    3. I did cooking and baking… two other friends did the babysitting. Usually it was just for an hour or so, but as a single parent, it was wonderful to occasionally do errands by myself!

      Like

      Reply

  3. OT (kind of). I made list of birthdays yesterday… OK if I list them here. Just month and day – no years. I got some of your approvals late yesterday… how about everybody else?

    Like

    Reply

    4. I’m just catching up. It’s been sort of busy here. I tried to post yesterday but I never finished my thoughts! Please include me: April 8, 1959.

      On April 8, 1959, there was an annular solar eclipse which would have been visible over Australia. On April 8,1820, the Venus de Milo was discovered on the Aegean island of Melos. On April 8, 1866, Italy and Prussia became allies against the Austrian Empire. (I knew there was some reason for my total devotion to Italian food!) I share a birthday with Kofi Annan and Julian Lennon.

      Like

      Reply

      3. Consider yourself included. I’m still waiting for the OK from Cynthia in M, Equivoque, Carolyn, Roger, MiG, TGiTH, Donna, Beth-Ann and Clyde before I publish anything!

        Like

        Reply

  4. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Does this list translate to really expensive gifts? If so birthdays qualify as the answer to today’s question and is also OK with me at the same time.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Oops. Now I have to finish my comment. I woke up with what I think is a sinus infection and I feel woozy this a.m.

      Art supplies–polymer clay, knitting needles, yarn, acrylic paint. All valuable commondities.

      And today through Sunday I am at an art class where I can trade them for more valuable commodities.

      Like

      Reply

  5. Cap’n Billy may be as woozy as Jacque or simply confused by the alphabet soup of landlubbers…..The USDA is more interested in Terra and Freya than in SPF. I think he needs to sail his complaints to the FDA.

    If Cliffies were a commodity, I would be a mogul.

    Like

    Reply

  6. I’m not sure I understand the question. What “commodity” could I not do without? Umm, that would be the hydroponic tomato sold with the “Bushel Boy” label. Do you remember the Gary Larsen cartoon where the hunter has found the outhouses used by deer. “He need only wait. The deer would come.” Anyone who wants to bag me could set up a stand over the Bushel Boy tomatoes at Lunds. Sooner or later, I would come by.

    Like

    Reply

  7. comodities eh? how about stuff on shelves in waiting. a couple of years ago i got so tired of having stuff go on ebay and craigs list from my business that i started another and hired a guy to do just that. put stuff on ebay and craigslist. the guy has become a bit of an isue but the stockpiles have grow, now i have my stuff and other peoples stuff i sell and the warehouse has a new ourdoor area to accomadate the new covey of aluminum trailers ala airstream tha i have become involved in, this along with cadalacs and motorcycle parts and accessories are the newest member of the uncollectors group i have initiated. unfortuanately for all thos i help to uncollect i seem to be going the other way. weed whacker with a starting problem fo 10 dollars mine. big screen tv with an issue for 20 bucks mine. snowblower out of season for 50 dollars put it over there.
    the other comoditiy that is of worth to me is memorable moments. i have all these kids and all this stuff to go and do with them and the memorable moments are fling fast and furious. but my attention span and the ides of technology are messing with the program. no one sits and daydreams anymore. i miss it. i enjoy motorcycle time because i don’t have the radio in my ear, i have time to think and reflect. when i am watching my kids ballgames or piano lessons or trampoline jumping time i do appreciate it but i also have an itch to grab the phone and check emails facebook ebay listings write a proposal, do a task that needs doing and next thinng i know i missed my daughters at bat and i was spellchecking an email about to be sent ( i do that sometimes) magic moments are great but the trick is being tuned in so you see them and dont have to listen to the guy next to you tell you what just happened.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I’ve been having a great daydream week. I’m off this week, made myself a to-do list, but am not making great headway on it. Spending a lot of time sitting in the back yard, not reading whatever book is in my lap, watching the birds on all my bird feeders. Even got a birdbath installed (note to baboons, do not place birdbath directly under a hanging birdfeeder. Ick.).

      Like

      Reply

      1. sounds nice. enjoy the rest of the lazy week. i always remember the saying one to do list minimizer gave me. dust keeps.

        Like

        Reply

      3. I love sitting and not reading the book in my lap. I’m trying to commit to finding time for that each evening, now that school is out and bedtime need not be enforced (at least for a couple of weeks).

        Like

        Reply

  8. Good morning to all:

    Could books be considered an unusual commodity that’s good as gold? Most of our books were bought second hand or as inexpensive paperbacks. There are some more expensive hard cover ones we couldn’t resist. Most of them date back to the years when paperback books only cost a couple of dollars and there are even some that came from the time when paperbacks cost less than a dollar.

    Many of our books should have been weeded out years ago. We will finally get rid of at least a few of them soon because we are getting ready to move and we have told ourselves that we are not going to take things like old useless books to our new home. We will not be able to get rid of very many because even thought they have little value or no value, some how they are as good as gold to us.

    Like

    Reply

  9. when i go garage saling i go at once to the book and record area of the sale. it tells me who i am dealing with. wi was recently at a funeral up in fargo and the house where the reception was held had great books in the bathroom. nice well rounded selection, woody alen, ee cummings and isac beshevitz singer if i remember correctly. books are the window to the soul

    Like

    Reply

    1. I don’t know how so many books get published when there are very good authors that have trouble finding a publisher. There are a lot of books that probably shouldn’t have been published and I have some of those. Please over look those bad books if you check out my collection.

      Like

      Reply

  11. Morning–

    Like Jim, books are good… most of my books have come from the discount section.
    I’m kind of a sucker for things I find in the ditch. Got a nice winter jacket out of a ditch once. Some furniture / home accessories came out of a ditch. (maybe not for MY house but they make great theater props).
    Just last week it was a large projection TV; I cannibalized it for the mirror in the back plus the lens and electronics in the bottom. Why? Well, cause I might be able to do something with them someday of course! Put them in the props section at my theater. (My wife would not be happy if I was keeping all this stuff at home; she’s still not happy with my winter jacket….)
    Have a great day!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Ben we have souvenir scenery and props in our garage as well as a gas meter. What ditch can I leave them in for you?

      Like

      Reply

    2. I visited a farm where there was a collection of odd items in a barn and was told by the woman I was visiting that she had wonder what all of this stuff was for when she got married. She said she found out that some of the stuff was worth saving because some of the things that had been there were used in the construction of their new house. Her husband had collected all kinds wood work and other things from old buildings that had been torn down and then made good use of these things when building the new house.

      Like

      Reply

  12. In winter, a freezer stocked with home made Pesto, and oven-dried tomatoes is better than money in the bank. Likewise a pantry with jars of home made pickles and spaghetti sauce. Frozen home made chicken stock is an asset any time of year. I’m happy if I’ve made just enough to last until the fresh ingredients become available the following season. Last year’s spaghetti sauce is all gone, ditto the Pesto and oven dried tomatoes, and I’m down to my last two jars of pickles. We made it through the winter and a new bounty is on the way.

    Like

    Reply

    1. We are kindred souls I make huge batches of stock and pesto and tomato and bolognese sauces and freeze them, and we feel rich as kings. Ditto on the home grown raspberries and strawberries. I don’t do jam as I have an issue with sugar syrups, and my jams and jellies usually turn out too stiff to spread. Next year I think our asparagus bed will be pickable, and my husband is hoping that his barber can make use of our hops for some homemade beer.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Does anyone know what happens if you try to move your asparagus? I think ours is in too shady a spot…

        Like

        Reply

      2. I’m not sure about this, but I think moving asparagus would set it back so that it would not produce enough to eat the year after you move it and probably it would not be in full production for a few years. In other words, I think it would be more or less the same as starting a new bed from purchased asparagus roots.

        Like

        Reply

    2. I do some canning and freezing and for a few things I have enough to make a year around supply. I discovered that shallots have a very long shelf life and I am close growing enough of those so that will a full year’s supply. With my cold frame set up I can have salad greens very early in the year and late into the fall, but I do buy salad greens in the winter. I would like to have the kind set up that Elliot Coleman developed that can be used to keep salad green alive all winter for winter harvest..

      Like

      Reply

    3. I grow around 20 basil plants every year and make batches of pesto. I freeze it in ice cube trays and it keeps well. I’ve made jam but I don’t need to make it for myself so I don’t make it very often. I detest the job of canning tomatoes but I love the result.

      Like

      Reply

    4. Yes! I always told my kids; “There’s nothing like true love and homegrown tomatoes”! Never enough of both.

      Like

      Reply

  13. Raspberries, fresh raspberries. In my very small yard, there is a small, overgrown raspberry patch that produces gallons of raspberries. I feel like I have gold in buckets when I am picking at the height of the season – or seasons, since there is a second crop in the fall.

    Chocolate, good chocolate. I never feel impoverished when I have a stash of some good quality chocolate.

    Books, particularly good children’s books or any books that are good for re-reading. If it’s an older copy with an attractive dustjacket, that’s even better.

    Friends, true friends. Can’t put a value on that.

    Like

    Reply

    1. a perfect list edith. you will be a valued member of the trail for a long time. especially with raspberres and chocolate as your top two items

      Like

      Reply

      1. I was at a funeral this morning. The minister when he finished the sermon had an ‘AMEN!’ and he said it like he meant it.
        The contrast of that ‘Amen’ to the rest of his speaking voice was startling.

        Like

        Reply

      2. I think it is sometimes said by pastors to wake the congregation. Lord knows I’ve tried hard to stay awake through some sermons. Sorry for your loss Ben.

        Like

        Reply

  14. Should we try for a gathering at my cabin? On the whole, that might take more planning and discipline than baboons possess. But let’s imagine it. My cabin has two double beds and a sofa for sleeping. There is a reasonable motel in Cornucopia, plus places to pitch a tent on my land. Activities: hiking, kayaking, checking out tourist joints in Cornie and Bayfield, bicycling, messing around in the old stone quarry on my land, canoeing, swimming (depends a bit on weather) and (best of all) attending Big Top Chautauqua. If you haven’t done the tent show, you have missed something wonderful. My favorite show “Riding the Wind” runs Thursday night August 25, and I absolutely guarantee you will love it. $18 ticket, half that for a student. Food could be a sort of pot luck.

    Putting it another way, if ANYone comes up and coordinates with me, I can help you have a great time up there. If just a few of us could be free late in August, we could enjoy things that much more. The cabin is officially for sale, so this could be the last summer I could host anybody there.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Will put it in the hopper, Steve – I love it up there, have friends who live half time in Herbster… we might even be able to sleep there.

      Like

      Reply

  15. Bowls. I keep trying to hold it down, but I have been known to trade other good stuff for a good bowl, and I find them regularly at thrift shops and garage sales. Not that we need any MORE bowls… Husband took out the soffit above our kitchen cabinets so we could use the space for my most colorful bowls.

    Like

    Reply

  16. Doing child care is one thing I’ve done as barter – had a rotating play group when Son was little, and it worked like a charm – had 5 kids at your house once every two weeks, and 4 mornings of freedom.

    Like

    Reply

  17. This idea has enormous appeal for me, and I have a certain amount of flexibility in my work schedule. Do we need someone to be cat herder on this project? Maybe a post on the BBC site would be a good starting point, and those interested could volunteer an e-mail address, if they are not already on the BBC list.

    The problem is, if we all go up to the cabin, no one will be posting on the blog. Maybe we could all write some comments and send them to Dale in advance. We would be OT on the comments, but that’s not so unusual.

    Like

    Reply

  18. For me the only commodity that measures up to money is time. It’s the ultimate luxury. I’m saddened that I always find myself giving it up to get money.

    Like

    Reply

    1. totally with you on this. I dare not think of how little value the marketplace is putting on chunks of my waking life.

      Like

      Reply

    2. I heard somewhere the questions, “If you lost your money, could you earn it back?, If you lost time, could you get that back?” But it in persepective for me.

      Like

      Reply

  19. Several of my top picks have already been listed: unusual books, time, good chocolate, moments in time with Daughter…knowledge would be my addition to the list. I find myself gathering tidbits of information like a raccoon gathering shiny things. I find myself pulling these tidbits out and looking at how they sparkle in the sunshine, sometimes I splash them in the stream to wash them a bit to give them a new sheen, put them with other tidbits to see how they look. Yep. That’s it. Knowledge.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment