The Baboon Congress

The Ties that Bind

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Today’s guest blog comes from Joanne in Big Lake.

Like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, beer and peanuts – football and holidays seem to go together. And sometimes, it’s a good thing.

I grew up in Green Bay, WI during the Lombardi era of football. Bart Starr, Ray Nitzchke and Paul Hornung were my heroes and the Packers ruled the field with a passing and running game that few teams could equal at that time. With little else to do in Green Bay (besides drink beer), the Packers gave the town a common pride and heritage. They also gave a good reason to be with family or a way to start conversation.

Packer Fans, But Not Joanne's Family

Being terribly shy and awkward in high school, I figured if I was good in sports and could talk intelligently about football, that boys might pay attention to me. While that may not have panned out; at least I had fun, enjoyed being in sports and was a fairly good athlete.

Now sports are a starting point for conversation and feeling together. My oldest son may not share the details of his life with me, but we cheer on the Packers together, I learn about his Fantasy Football team, trash talk the lame Vikings and exchange opinions of other teams. My two younger boys are in karate with me; so we share our love of martial arts weapons, how to improve our katas/forms and practice sparring with each other During karate tournaments we watch, analyze and pick apart competitors; marvel at the top performers’ skill and are bedazzled by fancy weapons for sale.

At family gatherings for the holidays, there’s usually a TV on with a game playing.

Understand, I love my family dearly, but I don’t see them that often. After exchanging the latest news of jobs, kids, injuries, illnesses and household projects – there’s not much else to talk about sometimes. But sporting events provide a special bonding experience that helps lay the groundwork for more meaningful conversation. Booze helps, too. My siblings aren’t alcoholics by any means, but they do enjoy wine, beer and other spirits – far more than I do.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not enamored of sports, the overpaid athletes or the overriding need to win. There’s far too much emphasis on sports in schools and playgrounds. I don’t read the sports pages or keep up with any team – well, maybe the Packers since they’ve got a great season so far. But the special bonding of rooting for the home team, cheering a great play, booing a bad call or admiring the athletic feats of strength and skill make holiday gatherings more fun. Maybe not every time or with every family, but it certainly works a lot of the time.

Sports on TV smooth over childhood sibling rivalries, the favored child stories, who tattled on whom, “I couldn’t believe you dated him” and other mild dysfunctions of growing up in a typical, loving family. I realize this group of baboons is not highly interested in sports – but you probably have to deal with friends or relatives – and perhaps feign interest in sports with those who are caught up in that web of competition and outrageous media coverage.

Has a sports event help you connect with others? What other things belong together?

54 thoughts on “The Ties that Bind”

  1. One of the things I miss about TLGMS was Mr. Sports, Mr. Action, Mr. Jim Ed Poole – that 2-3 minutes of sports gave me enough information to ask about a co-worker’s favored team after a game or at least have a clue when others were talking about sports. Now I get my sports news from Facebook updates (I don’t need to watch football, I have half a dozen friends who regularly post throughout the Sunday games) which can be informative, but is not quite as entertaining as Jim Ed. My family is not a sports family, so we are forced to talk of other things. Thankfully this comes easy for our family.

    What other things belong together? Lefse and butter (and sugar), toast and butter, julekage and butter (or gjetost)…glad I don’t live in Norway where there is, apparently a butter shortage. Our family may survive relatively sports-free, but no butter would be challenging. No dairy of any sort would be worse (lactose-intolerant Husband not withstanding).

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  2. Greetings! I’m glad Dale pointed out that those people are NOT my family. We remain seated during games and don’t wear all those Packer shirts. Besides, I couldn’t find my cheesehead, so I couldn’t send in a picture of me looking like an idiot. Like Anna, I get most of my sporting news second hand; and know just enough to say, “Yeah, the Vikings got creamed again,” or “the Twins may get to the Series this year” or other pithy remarks gleaned from sportscasts.

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  3. Good morning to all. I am the only sports fan in my family and my extended family. My wife does enjoy going to see the twins once in a while, not every year. I was very suprised when my younger daughter decided to join the girls hockey team in high school and she did seem to enjoy doing the that. One year was enough for her. Some how my older daughter and her family got hooked up with another family that likes to go to lacrosse matches and they have been to a few of these. Also, my younger daughter enjoyed taking Tae Kwom Do lessons for awhile and I think she made it to the brown belt level.

    What unites us the most is cooking. Both of my daughters have become good cooks and both my wife and I enjoy cooking. I wouldn’t say that my brother is a good cook, but he is very interested in eating healthy food and can do some cooking. My mother was a good cook and my wife’s mother was also. Home made pizza is a family favorite. I plant a fairly large number leeks each year so that I can give some to both of our daughters. Potato leek soup has become another family favorite..

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  4. Playing tennis has helped me connect with lots of people. During the six years between my marriages, I enjoyed playing in a singles league. It was good exercise and good fun.

    Another group of people that I hung out with during that period of my life, enjoyed weekly games of pick-up softball. It was a rag-tag bunch of friends with a decidedly wacky sense of the game. We never kept score, but we were always winners! Most of the people from this latter group remain friends thirty-five years later, whereas I don’t even remember the names of anyone from the tennis league. The tennis players were all serious about the game and we were all very competitive; we seldom did anything else together. The softball group on the other hand shared lots of other interests and activities such as camping and canoeing in the BWCA and other places, pot-luck dinners and cross country ski trips during the winter.

    Things that go together: Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches; pickled herring and aquavit! Skål!

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  5. you are a packers fan joanne? huh , i used to like you but a packers fan is like an open sore in this life and it is hard to tolerate them being on the same planet with the good people who deserve to be here.
    sports are us around my house. we hate the packers those damn cheeshead cakeeaters. that wrestlers belt seems fitting for the celebration in the beer capital of the world. aaron rogers had 4 years on the bench under brett favre to think and thats what he came up with?
    my sons are both sports fiends. one knows statistics and will keep going long after everyone knows how to keep looking interested. i laugh and tell him he really should start a sports blog or participate in someone elses. there have to other people who care about that stuff in the freakinsh way he does. my other son watches tv for the most part on the sports channel. he is off to college this year and left his sports driven life behind in favor of studies. he has not shown signs of withdrawal yet but it will be interesting to see how it plays out. my daughters are so so on sports. they like to participate but are not to hot on rooting for the home team. they tolerate the football baseball basketball games on tv an the golf channel starts up in january so thereis an exposure. my wife is form chicago so the only thing worse than a packer is bear fan. they are gly about how crappy there sports have been. we all love the cubs but that is like beating your head against the wall. being from minnesota we are accustomed to that. we have a sliver of hope pop up from time to time but overall the god teams are form elsewhere even when the salary cap rules level the playing field.
    i find it funny when people look up to 20 year old athletic freaks who are coddled as they grow up and multimillionaires as 3, 4, 5 year careers blossom and collapse a heartbeat apart. the idiocy of these people not realizing there career will last 1000 days typically and 3000 days max never ceases to amaze me.
    other things that go together
    love and marriage
    horse and carriage
    pasta and wine
    beer and football
    sunflower seeds and baseball
    potatoes and onions and garlic
    peanut butter and red raspberry jam
    chocolate and peanut butter
    potato chips and life
    i will give it some thought as the day goes on.

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      3. Pooh and Piglet
        Fred and Ginger
        George and Ira (Gershwin)
        WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face (for the PBS Kids fans in the home audience)
        Apples and cheese
        Gin and tonic…

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  6. I never did sports, but playing or singing in a musical ensemble is a great way to connect with others. Other things that go together: Dal and chapati, lefse and meatballs, my daughter and her best friend, hot chocolate and whipped cream.

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  7. Tennis and my friend, Judy go together. i love playing tennis but have not for awhile and now there are no tennis courts at the farm. but friend Judy and i always dreamed of going to the US Open. so in 2002 we got a wild hair and bought tix for the middle weekend – booked air to NY city, found a place to stay and had a wonderful time watching Pete Sampras, Gustavo Kuerten, the Williams sisters, Pam Shriver, and all our faves. unfortunately, went after my all time fave, Goran Ivanišević, had left the scene (“what’s it like being Goran??” asked an interviewer – “Ees like horror movie” says Goran). we sat in the rain waiting for clearing and a match to begin for 1.5 days, wearing trash bags. we talked the whole time and i think during that time i learned more about Judy than anyone else in the world ever knew. even though we had all that rain we had a fabulous time and our friendship became even stronger.
    what else goes together? in addition to tim’s excellent list: goats and goat ladies, cajeta and almost anything, and our cat Bubba and arfing on the carpet.

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    1. Barb, I’m envious. I would love to attend the Grand Slam events. Had to settle for watching Team Tennis when the pros would play at the St. Paul Civic Center, probably 35 years ago.

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  8. Morning!

    My wife played volleyball and BB in high school. Joined a few leagues in the community but she want’s to play, while not exactly full on SERIOUS, she does want the team to be committed. And not just there to drink beer and screw around.
    Sometimes it works better than others…
    She’s our kids biggest fan nowdays. And can’t understand while other folks don’t cheer more. All the players know when she’s there because they can hear her cheering.

    Peanut butter and miracle whip.
    Haying and sunshine
    Ben and Kelly

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  9. OT but funny, I think. I am striving to make all the goodies I had mentioned on the weekend blog. and it is going to be quite a rush at the end. Last night I took daughter to Bismarck for violin lessons, along with her best friend and another friend, lately returned for Christmas break from her first semester as an honors student at Ohio State. She regaled the younger girls about her experiences in university. I listened and drove the car. This morning I woke up, quite anxious about getting all my baking and cooking done, and convinced myself that I had to cancel all my afternoon clients since I knew I had to pull an all nighter to finish not only the baking, but that social psychology term paper I had left until the last minute, as usual. It took me several minutes to realize I was no longer in college and had no term paper. due. Whew!

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  10. You’re such an overachiever, Renee. I’m sure you have plenty of baked goods already. You make the rest of us feel like slugs. 8)

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    1. As usual, my aspirations are too great for my ability or circumstances, but I hope to get most of it done. I find unless I push myself, I am a a slug (although there is nothing really wrong with being a slug.) I wish I could be a steady and well paced worker, but I am not, and I don’t think i ever will be.

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  11. Thanks for this topic, Joanne.

    Because the “jocks” ruled my high school’s society, I resented them and thought I hated athletics. I was turned on that point by (of all people) Garrison Keillor, who wrote an essay in 1965 about h ow beautiful the sport of hockey could be. I was amazed to see that sports, while not “important,” could be a pleasant diversion.

    Since then I’ve been thrilled and crushed thousands of times by the ups and downs of my teams. I’ve just suffered through one of the most frustrating football seasons of my life. But guess what? The Timberwolves promise to be one of the most entertaining teams in pro basketball, and once again my heart is high with unrealistic expectations. Without sounding condescending, I feel sorry for people who can see nothing in pro sports except drugs, overpaid athletes and greedy owners. Pro sports is certainly a mixed bag, but it brings to my life some moments of joy that I treasure.

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    1. Humph! I posted before I was done writing. It is often surprising which people are intrigued by sports and for whom, therefore, sports is a conversation starter. My mother and I shared enjoyment of the Twins. I have fond memories of summer evenings spent in chaise lounge chairs in front of their cottage overlooking Lake Minnetonka, listening to Twins games on the radio. I’m always moved by film of kids suffering debilitating or even fatal diseases whose passion in life is following their local sports team.

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  12. I can’t seem to get into football, but I really like baseball and our mutual “fanship” (is that a word?) of the Mn. Twins gives my brother-in-law and me plenty to talk about. I was a big fan when I was a kid, then got away from it for a while and now I’m back. Like Steve said, pro sports is full of drugs, overpaid athletes (I could write a couple pages on that – how many millions does one person need????), and greedy owners – but baseball is a lot like life with moments of elation and despair and unrealistic expectations which once in a while are fulfilled. You can’t predict what will happen. Sometimes even the worst team will beat the best team. Sometimes what looks like it will be a game-winning home run will turn out to be a mere foul ball. Sometimes the least likely player can be a hero and the player most likely to be a hero fails – I remember one game when Joe Mauer came up to bat with runners on base – and it was crucial that he drive them in. He struck out – and Drew Butera (whose batting average is less than his weight) then got the hit (double? Home run?) and drove in the runs. Baseball gives me lots of surprises and sometimes all I can do is quote Torrii Hunter and say, “Who woulda thunk?”

    What else goes together?
    Sledding and hot cocoa
    Tea and toast
    Gardening and slugs
    Raspberries and me
    Books and children
    Chocolate and just about anything

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  13. When my son won the trip around the world we circumnavigated during the World Cup. While we have never been futbol fans, it was a fun experience to share in multiple countries. Every cab friver and bellman had a favorite team and it gave us something to talk about.

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  14. The musical combinations are very numberous but here a few:

    Flatt and Scruggs
    Neal and Leandra
    Dean Mcgraw and Marcus Wise
    Dean McGraw and John Williams
    Dakota Dave Hull and Carrie Larson
    Judy Larson and Bill Hinckley

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  15. I’ve never been interested in pro sports. Yes, I am one of those people. It used to be that I was intimidated. I was the last near-sighted, dandelion braiding girl to be chosen for the softball team. I got hit in the face with both volleyballs and softballs, got my glasses broken and skinned my knees – I quickly began to duck and cover when the ball came my way. No, I was not the one you’d want on your team.

    I hope that I don’t offend anyone here but my feelings are strong on this topic. I’m sorry, but I do think of professional sports as “gladiator” sports, especially American football, and I feel that we desperately need new idols. There’s a huge difference between “sports” and “athleticism”. I greatly admire the grace, skill and health of an athlete. The human body performing in peak condition and with grace is entirely beautiful and I couldn’t admire it more. I think it’s the intersection between athleticism and art that appeals to me. Yoga, karate, tai chi, gymnastics, track and field, skating, skiing, the grace of a tennis player are all lovely to me. But as a society we have put professional sports on a high pedestal (in my opinion where teachers, philosophers and spiritual leaders should be) and we have chosen to pay them enough to bail out the entire country to smash their heads together. It speaks volumes about our culture.

    What goes together? Fresh, homegrown basil pesto and fresh, ripe, homegrown tomatoes!

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    1. i love caprese salad – and we always add, when we have it, freshly stretched goats’ milk mozzarella cheese. (when we can get it to stretch, that is – well, if we can’t we just grate it and add it anyway 🙂

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    2. Krista, I think you and I will need to flee to a deserted island to avoid the wrath. I, too, am very disenchanted with sports, and I am afraid that in my case it extends to high school and college sports as well. I don’t believe universities and elementary/ high schools are the place for all this focus on sports. I think the focus needs to be on academics, the arts, and, yes, athleticism.

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      1. I think that some of the sports are too brutal. When I was young I loved Boxing. Now I think boxing shouldn’t be allowed. I still can’t help looking back on some of the great boxers and admiring them. I have the same feeling about some other sports including football. I was a big football fan and I still can’t resist following it a little bit. I’m glad to see that they are doing something about players involved plays where very excessive force was used. However, I think there are far too many injuries in football that happen all the time. I heard that one of the best running backs had to cut his playing days short becase he had suffered too many concussions from all the hard hits he took. Some linemen have ended up as cripples due to the leg and back injuries they got from playing football. ..

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  16. Like many of you, I like to keep up with sports, just enough to be conversational. We do like to watch the Big Events (World Cup, Olympics, Super Bowl), but otherwise, we are just fine with knowing generally that the Packers are doing well, we don’t need the details.

    One of the things that was a bonding activity with my dad’s large extended family was doing a jigsaw at Christmas. We no longer get together as a massive group of maybe 40 or so (all descendants of my grandparents or somehow married into the family), but when we did, a block of hotel rooms was reserved and the party room as well. The party room was where all the food everyone had brought was laid out, and in the general area a table was set up for the annual jigsaw.

    One of my aunts made it her business to find something challenging and possibly Christmas-y.

    People would come and go, some settling in for the duration, some just stopping by to see how it was goind and adding a piece or two. It was a great way for those who were newly or soon to be in-laws to be with the group, have a topic of conversation, or not as they were inclined. Stories would be told or remembered, and sometime around 2 am, the die-hards among us would complete the thing.

    //cue the Waltons music//-I miss those days, when the entire family gathered and got to know each other better, while working determinedly on a task that really never needed to be completed, but somehow, expressed who we were as a family-the artistic ones, the lawyers, the scientists, the one’s who refused to fit into a set role, all came together as a family, putting the pieces together. Good night Jim-Bob.

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  17. Red and green
    Christmas carols and eggnog
    Snow and moonlight
    Linus and Lucy
    A good book and a hot bath.

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  19. Like your questions, Joanne. Some day I’ll have time to read this and answer. Now I can only add:

    Puke and Snot.

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