Let Me Call You Sweetheart

Today’s guest post comes from Beth Ann.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fykuW4IHk

There are an amazing number of performances of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” to be found on YouTube. Everyone from Alfalfa to Patti Page and from Kate Smith to the Mills Brothers join in on this schmaltziest of schmaltz. Beyond the chorus there are enough different verses for it to qualify as a folk song.

Now the folks at Minnesota Community Sings are asking us to add more versions. They are sponsoring a sing-along in collaboration with Dan Chouinard to benefit Minnesotans United for All Families The group is organizing a No vote on the Marriage Amendment to Minnesota’s constitution.

The lyric writing contest is described as follows:

You are invited to write your own lyrics to the chorus tune of “Let me call you sweetheart.” Make it funny or heartfelt – write words that can be sung at the state capitol or in the Pride parade – lay on the schmaltz or give us your most acerbic wit. Our judges will choose several finalists whose lyrics will be sung by everyone at the Feb. 18 event. Winners will receive the accolades of the crowd and the best lyrics will doubtless be used at rallies and gatherings forevermore.

When I saw the contest it seemed to be right up the baboon alley. I would like to challenge all devotees of schmaltz, acerbic wit, and rhyme here on the trail to write a rainbow version of “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” from this template:

Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too
Keep the lovelight glowing in your eyes so blue
Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

Come on baboons! The future of love songs is in your hands.

107 thoughts on “Let Me Call You Sweetheart”

  1. Let me cell or tweet you, I’m a twitterer over you
    I expect a tweet or text back that you heart me too
    We’ll keep the backgrounds glowing on our Iphone two
    I’ll waste all my bandwidth sitting next to you.

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  2. thanks, B-A, for the early morning fun! and what a great challenge. i’ll have to think on it a bit and will look forward to all the cleaverness on the Trail today.
    how did that manualist do that?????

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  3. What a way to start the day! I’m with biB, I can’t wait for all the cleaverness that we’ll no doubt see on the trail today. This is a fun challenge for a serious issue. I really appreciate how creative the organizers are about rallying people to the cause. I agree, Dale, that this project is right up the Baboon Alley. Let’s rise to the challenge, Baboons!

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  4. Let me be his husband, we’re in love we two
    Let me hear him whisper a real “I Do”
    Make our marriage legal in this state so blue
    Let me be his husband, we’re in love we two.

    Let me be her wife, we’re in love we two.
    Let me hear her whisper a real “I Do”
    Make our marriage legal in our state so blue
    Let me be her wife, we’re in love we two.

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  5. You are my significant other, I want to marry you
    I hope you think that I’m signicant to you too
    I want to spend the rest of my life with you
    Is this something the legislature will let us do?

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  6. i hate queers and faggots and i hate their love
    they should live like i do proclaimed from above
    god doesn’t love those people they are all dead wrong
    ask the pope or archbishop why they don’t belong

    rainbow people of the world you must unite
    everyday is there for love we know its right
    let me call my sweetheart from my heart so true
    mine for me and if you’re lucky yours for you

    let me call you sweetheart its my legal right
    my life’s no more or less than yours in constitutional sight
    to take rights away from blacks or women would be forbidden
    but gays are open season for hatred no longer hidden

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      1. Anyone see The Onion last week? One of those Highlights on the left of front page was “Minnesota Braces for Return of Machmann’s Full Attention”…

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  7. can we do one to short people?

    i accidentally erased about 10 of these. maybe all for the best. sometimes i get a little carried away. but i sure do smile at what i come up with that would barely qualify as acerbic wit.

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    1. This is the Baboon Trail, tim. I’m sure that the loss of those 10 offerings is not for the best. Barely acerbic wit? Bring it on!

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  8. Fair play for the my wife and I:

    Let me cook you pasta: I’ll use much basil.
    If you say you like it, my hopes you raise’ll
    I see sweet mystery in your eyes of hazel
    O, to call you sweetheart, for all our days i’ll

    If I call you sweetheart, will you drop that frown?
    If you do, I promise, we will go to town.
    Keep the passion smouldering in your eyes dark brown
    Let me call you sweetheart, and I’ll drop my gown.

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    1. My intent was a uni-sex, or unidentified-sex point of view, but that was not at all clear was it. When I was a child I always noticed the blue eyes as opposed to my mostly brown-eyed family. I thought I would simply speak out for those of brown and hazel.

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  9. Thanks for the guest post and the topic, Beth-Ann.

    I love writing parody lyrics, though it can be a time consuming and frustrating business, especially if you want the words to scan properly. My favorite efforts favor simplicity. Things can get unwieldy when you try to pack too much information into a few short lines. I know because I’ve tried it and failed – lots.

    I like it that the first and fourth lines of the original song are the same and I hesitate to change that because it already starts with a great line that speaks to the issue. “Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you” raises the essential question of who is entitled to give permission.

    Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you
    You’re the only one I’ll give permission to
    say my love has meaning – that it’s real and true.
    Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

    Another approach is to address the appropriateness of dealing with this specific political and cultural issue in the state’s constitution. In this case, “ballyhoo” feels like the right word because it rhymes easily, and it means “a clamorous and vigorous attempt to win customers or advance any cause; blatant advertising or publicity.”

    Keep our Constitution free of ballyhoo!
    Free of fears and phobias that are untrue.
    No amendment can determine who loves who.
    Keep our Constitution free of ballyhoo!

    I’m sure to be mulling this one over throughout the weekend, baboons. No doubt changes and alternatives will surface. Let’s put together a packet of baboonish options to submit to the competition by the end of the month!

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  10. Call us gay or lesbian, but we’re just like you
    Want legal recognition, and acceptance too
    Human hearts connected, shouldn’t feel so blue
    Call us gay or lesbian, but we’re just like you

    Like

  11. Vote no in November, you’ll be glad you do
    Ask your friends and family to vote no too
    WE can make things better for me and you
    Vote no in November you’ll be glad you do

    Like

  12. Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you
    Here in North Dakota gay love is taboo
    I though that Minnesotans had more sense. Not true.
    Let me call you sweetheart, dreams will have to do.

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  13. i’m a human being and my love is true
    you cant legislate my love though youd like to
    keep the constitution free for me and you
    i’m a human being and my love is true

    feels like cheating dale. too easy

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  14. baboons like sex with baboons yes its true true true
    steve may have arthritis but he likes it too
    why would what i do in my life effect you
    baboons like sex with baboons yes its true true true

    sometimes it works better than others

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  15. Why would God make people who are not like you
    If She did not intend that they could have love true?
    Vote No in November and you won’t be blue,
    Please, now, Minnesota, make me proud of you.

    (I needed all four lines different on this one.)

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  16. let me call you sweetheart with your eyes so bright
    fighting off fear mongers from the not so distant right
    legislating love is crazy in god we trust with with all our might
    let me call you sweetheart with yours eyes so bright

    its starting to cramp me dale.

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  17. if jerks are on this earth with us tell them please shut the hell up
    i am trying the best i can to live with my little buteercup
    hes my little doggy woggie im his little puppy wup
    if jerks are on this earth with us tell them please shut the hell up

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  18. with nazis in the congress and the senate here today
    thank goodness for the goveror is all i have to say
    without him here to save us all there would be hell to pay
    with nazis in the congress and the senate here today

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  19. if crusty old redneck bastards want to raise some hell with me
    they can rant and rave and wave their flag and sing to old glory
    they forget this is in the land of the brave and the home of the free
    its just too bad they try to pass their poison off on me.

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  20. I sing at as many Minnesota Sings as i can and I think this lyric contest and its anti-Amendment purpose are great. After reading all these contributions, I don’t know if I’m more inspired or less. What a creative crew. I will continue to mull over ideas.

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  21. Minnesota Sings just pointed to this Trail Baboon thread on FB (thanking Dale – should have thanked Beth-Ann).

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  22. Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.
    We both will wear white tuxes when we say “I do.”
    We’ll build a loving family in this State so blue.
    Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

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  23. This tune has become an earworm…I like the idea that I was radicalizing the folks in Costco with my humming

    Let everybody marry ,it’s the right thing to do
    You say marriage’s sacred, I agree with you
    Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve no ballyhoo
    Let everybody marry it’s the right thing to do

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  24. No need to call me sweetheart, just my name will do
    I don’t seek no blessings or love from you
    Just fair an equal justice, will see me through
    No need to call me sweetheart, just my name will do

    Where the heck is Ann Reed when we need her?

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  25. Oh why does it so bother that I’m in love with you
    You and I are soul mates who should say “I do”
    People are just people so I wish that it were true
    That we could met married ‘cuz I’m in love with you

    Like

  26. I have heard that marriage ain’t so easy, see
    If it were than Newt would have just one, not three
    But I shall not find out ‘less you vote with me
    For it should be easy, both for you and me

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  27. you say you want to marry have you gone insane
    you say that marriage calls to you to that ball and chain
    take my advice on marriage you should just refrain
    you can stay committed and save half a brain

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  28. let me call you sweetheart, you can call me mommie
    i love you my darling although i’m no commie
    my desires are gay its true and my names tommy
    let me call you sweetheart , you can call me mommie

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  29. I let you wed your sweetheart. Why can’t I wed mine?
    Just treat me fairly and we’ll all be fine
    We’ve got a constitution don’t change a line
    I let you wed your sweetheart. Why can’t I wed mine?

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  30. Let me call you sweetheart and share my rhinestones
    Let me borrow wigs and shoes, you’ll be my own
    I shall tailor for your frame each lamé gown
    Let me call you sweetheart and share my rhinestones

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  31. It’s a stupid amendment, it really sucks
    Throw it in a lake, feed it to the ducks
    Work to defeat it and donate your bucks
    It’s a stupid amendment, it really sucks

    Like

  32. america america i love you
    we all love our freedom it the best thing that you do
    to crown thy good with brotherhood neath azure skys of blue
    america america i love you

    Like

  33. To win our votes we dig our moats around our castles deep
    We manufacture gremlins that into our pychies creep
    The division of our country at a cost is far to deep
    To win our votes we dig our moats around our castles deep

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  34. Let us stand together, in sickness and in health
    Let’s grow old together, let’s share our wealth
    Make our marriage legal, live the life we’re dealt
    Let us stand together, in sickness and in health

    About submitting these verses, if they need to be submitted on the form, that would be an awful lot of work for one person. Don’t know if Dale has made some special deal with the organizers.

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    1. This is a work in progress. The folks at MN Sings are very lenient. They accept entries by email and allow multiple submissions. More later….

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    1. We’re back. What a blast! It’s really fun seeing all the wacky people who come out to participate in this celebration of art and winter. Lots of kids, people with goofy and colorful hats, and lots of things to see and participate in. Really recommend going and bringing the kiddos.

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  35. Great job, Beth Ann! This has been fun reading and I’m stuck with an earworm that won’t go away!

    Freedom isn’t freedom if it’s just for you.
    Other people have the right to freedom too.
    Change the Constitution; make it work for a few…
    Freedom isn’t freedom if it’s just for you.

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  36. I always liked to follow the bouncing ball. If you’re patient, you get to it about halfway through this clip:

    Oh, almost forgot….MERMAN ALERT!

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  37. Let me call you baboons when I blog with you
    We meet here daily with Dale and crew
    Goats and rhymes and typos are the things we do
    Let me call you baboons when I blog with you

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  38. let me see integrity a world so fair
    america has shown the world a life so rare
    we lead by example that’s beyond compare
    people first is our motto extraordinaire

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  39. Let me call her Mrs., I’m in love with her.
    I’ll make her a promise, and then she’ll concur.
    Love a constitution should not deter;
    Let me call her Mrs., I’m in love with her.

    Let me call him husband, for we’ll take no wives,
    Instead cleave to each other as we share our lives.
    For a lawful license my heart still strives,
    Let me call him husband, when that day arrives.

    Let us join and marry those we love so true,
    We’ll be harming no one when we say I do.
    Give us your permission, so long overdue;
    Let us join and marry those we love so true.

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  40. Lo-ove isn’t something you can legislate.
    Trying to prevent it just increases hate.
    Do not try to tell me who can’t be my mate.
    Lo-ove isn’t something you can legislate.

    Like

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