Dear Dr. Babooner,
OK, so I’m a flight attendant. Every time I go on a trip, it’s the same. From the moment we board we run from one task to another until the moment we step off. We hurry because everyone is on a schedule and the plane has to leave the gate on time or it will create anxiety all down the line. Anyone can see we’re working like mad to stay just ahead of a total breakdown. No wonder some flight attendants freak out.
I never saw the romance in flying. In fact, when I was a kid I wanted to be a TV anchor. To deliver the nightly news in some mid-sized market was my dream. I didn’t want to work in a big city – that’s too much pressure. Small-time local celebrity would be just right – to be the person who is called on to cut the ribbon at the opening of the new Costco but is still able to have a quiet dinner at The Olive Garden brings the happiest kind of fame there is. In my opinion.
When I was just out of college I actually tried to do it and got pretty far, winding up on the production crew at a station where I soon discovered that the owners were clueless dolts, the anchors were alcoholic morons and the news director was a blithering idiot. Being stuck there forever would be worse than a lifetime sentence of working in a tiny, pressurized restaurant full of angry people. Or so I thought. So I took to the skies!
That’s why I liked doing the cabin announcement – at first. But I quickly noticed that nobody was paying attention. Nobody! The news that “in the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you” and “to start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you” is vital information. Look up from your iPad, dammit! I told you to turn that stupid thing off!
I realized that the people on TV are lucky. They can’t see how the audience is ignoring them. I felt diminished every time I grabbed the intercom and took out my demonstration seat belt. I don’t care what they say about water boarding. The ultimate torture for a human being is to be visibly and pointedly ignored.
I soon found out there are three things that can get the bastards to look up. The phrases “mechanical problems”, and “returning to the gate” always draw a quick response. And the single, resonant word, “crash” hits like a thunderbolt. Every time. Saying any one of these things instantly turned me into a rock star. Saying all three in a single minute got me put in restraints.
Dr. Babooner, is it true that all attention is good?
Sincerely,
Look At ME!
I told LAME that it is definitely not true that all attention is good. In fact, aside from being close to several family members and a couple of good friends, it can be argued that receiving NO attention is preferable. And being totally ignored might be the ideal situation for a human being, as long as food and comfort are available.
But the people who achieve this blissful state will never be able to tell us about it, because by definition, we have no idea who they are.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?
Trail Baboon 
laid back group. dale was late nobody cares. sun shines in the window at 6 and the baboon brigade rolls over and pulls up the blankets. its ok but cmon daylights burnin…
invisable is my mode of choice. i like to come in ruffle a few feathers and get the heck out. if i was depended on to provide constant focus and grandure i would be a disappointing icon i am afraid. i feel sorry for the don shelbys of the world who go out to buy stamps and have everyone turning their heads. i have thought about running for political office on the wham bam thank you maam platform calling the sleezbag nazis i would be running against what they are and having the choips fall where they may, wouldnt that be fun but it would be the end of being suspected to be a hippy sympathizer i would be branded and have enemies and friends more than i would care to deal with. i dont need more friends and i dont want more enemies but that is what you are gunni for if fame and fortune are your lot in life. brad pitt. forget it. rtrybek i love the guy but he has the fullest plate i have ever seen. id like to be rt’s right hand man and see how the life works then go for it or not after getting a feel. maybe invisable isnt possible for an opinionated baboon but tim the nazi hunter is not coming out anytime soon
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I suffered first-hand consequences of the “Don Shelby effect”… You make recall my tale of having my purse stolen a while back. I blame Don Shelby, in part. He sauntered in to the coffee shop where I was sitting around a table with a group of 5 or 6 others. I had, moments before, excused myself to the privy… leaving my purse on the table in their vigilant care. I returned soon after to see Don Shelby at the counter, all my friends ogling him, and (come to find out) no purse. I had been gone a matter of 3 or 4 minutes. It seems someone was keenly aware of his effect on people (and possibly his routine) and was making a living off of the situation. I sometimes wonder if that person & Shelby were in cahoots… but I respect the man too much to allow myself to believe that. 😉 No way would I want that much attention.
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no one has more integrity than don shelby. he would never be in cahoots with a snake who preys on people and causes isfortune. i have had my wallet stolen in china the exact same way you describe and you want to talk about a pain in the butt. no credit cards no cash and no way to ask the police to do anything about it. they looked at me like i was an idiot for leaving the wallet in the briefcase on the luggage carry on i was toting when i went to get a coffee or something. i was gone not at all just inattentive. being an american in backwoods china is a little like being a celebrity. you sure get noticed.
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“Let the choips fall where they may.” By god, those are words I can live by.
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pork or potato. either is good
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Seconded!
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If Lame wants attention, he or she should become the spokesperson for an oil company, the person who has to answer questions from the press and government agencies whenever there is a disaster or oil spill. Everyone will be giving you all the attention, I promise you, and to make it even better, it will only be for a short while and then you can slink back into your office and everyone will forget about you until the next disaster. I prefer to be a quiet bystander, observing the action but not part of it.
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I like this activism! Thanks to firefly!
https://www.commondreams.org/headline/2012/03/06-3#.T1xYA7A4Ru0.facebook
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hi folks. i have decided to unbridal my power and become the nazi hunter we all need in these times of trials and tribulations. please send me any activites that you would like me to address and the world will be a better place. it won’t be free of the nazi mentality but at least we can talk about it instead of pretending it isnt there.
here i come to save the day. that means that mit the man is on his way.
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Please do something about the Republican Party. I don’t understand why that has been allowed to go on for so long.
(Cool gravatar, mit!)
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they are the top item on my list. some of them are all right but those three guys are really old and when they die the rest of the party is not so good
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I wouldn’t worry so much about Republicans, but the darn things keep breeding more of their kind. We’ve got to find a way to put a stop to that.
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the good news is chris christy and newt gingrich are standard models of the species and the gene pool is going form grotesque to mutant as we go on. they have enough money to appeal to the mates who bring an average human appeal back to the plate but the end result is still going to end up with gingrich genepool entities. gas bag, foot in mouth, exploding cheeks, i think the reproduction will become a test tube production down the line cranking out little abe lincolns as the republican talking head. they dont need to think or feel just do what the puppeteers dictate and rule for the polls (maybe the norweigens too)
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and we are going to boycott nordquists department store until the no new luxary items until the poor are fed bill is past. that nordquist guy has a lot of nerve saying he doesnt want to pay for naything until you find it some where to stop spending on . well nordquist department store could stop selling expensive shoes and coats and start funding early childhood programs and paying for teachers and funding life saving medications for those who need it. who needs a 200 dollar pair of shoes anyway?
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I think you should have something in your platform, mit, that calls for everyone who can afford $200 shoes to donate the equivalent of one pair of shoes to clothe the poor. One pair. That’s not so much to give up. If they can afford a pair Manolo Blahniks, buy three pairs instead of four for spring and get shoes on a family living in poverty.
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i had a company ask me to find furnature for them like ikea. i went to china to find it and discovered there is a 198% tarrif on bedroom furnature. if its a side table to match the coffee table its 20 dollars if it is a bedside table it has a 39.90 tax on it so it comes in at 59.90 instead. how about i we just put a tarrif on luxary items of 200 % and pay our national debt with that. hey those are some mighty good looking 599. dollar shoes you got there mr business man. suits ties shoes briefacses, couch dining room furnature ( does anyone eat in a dining room any more) lawn mowers hobbiest supplies tools all the stuff that we need everyday. if we just put a 200% tax on it just think of all the extra money wed collect. we could start the presses up and get those hundred dollar bills rolling. and its not a tax its a tarriff so all the proceeds could go toward programs not funded by the tax dllars we are not raising under the tea party platform. they should be the biggest supporters. tax the shoe wearers and couch sitters thats what i say.
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Ah, Look At Me, what a sad lot is yours. If you care for nothing so much as attention, you are by definition a narcissist, and that is a special sort of hell with no real escape because what makes you miserable is deep in your nature. I want to urge you to forget you (a boring topic) and realign your obsession so you get your kicks by serving others and doing your best to please them. But it doesn’t work that way, does it? If you were working hard to please others, you would be distracted by an overwhelming need to look good in the act of serving others. The two classic occupations for narcissists are politician and actor, but either one is a sure path to heartbreak. Since you like people looking at you, have you considered a career in pornography?
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a sure way take the fun out of your penis. i think i have too much affection to screw up the bad deal i have going on now with a worse deal. but i could be a stand in on occasion i suppose. when they need a up close shot.
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Seems to me that we need both kinds of people: those who enjoy the spotlight (as long as they occupy it without offending anyone – better yet by entertaining folks), and those who deeply appreciate the spotlighters for taking the attention off of them. It also seems true enough that certain positions or occupations are in themselves ill-suited for those who can’t tolerate attention. I hesitate to broadly label anyone in those positions “narcissistic” (although many are!). Our governor is a rare example of a man for whom the spotlight is visibly painful, yet he soldiers on. Poor guy. He often has that deer-in-headlight expression and gives a sense of “If I could get stuff done without you noticing me, it’d be so much easier!” To me, it all boils down to introversion versus extroversion.
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you say introversion i say extroversion you say spotlight i say what light. introversion extroversion, spot light what light, lets call the whole thing offf
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🙂
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🙂 🙂
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I think he looks like a deer in the headlights who badly needs to pee, but is too modest to do it while lit up.
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🙂 🙂
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A little attention goes a long way – and one should be selective about the sort of attention you seek. Positive attention for a job well done at work: good. Any attention for the foul mess you created on the last project: bad. The adulation of 2nd graders after a silly presentation about minimalist music: good (editor’s note: yesterday’s presentation included your fearless presenter wearing an old-style aviator helmet and goggles). A firm talking-to from the principal: bad (second editor’s note: this has not happened to your fearless presenter). And a corollary to the last examples: adulation of one or two classes: acceptable. Demand for the adulation of the whole school: the first sign you might be heading towards a psychotic break…
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do it in the gymnasium and get the whole schools program done in 1 session instead of doing it in each classroom. my school buried the program because the teachers bitched about being aced out of 30 minuted a month. the kids loved it the teachers dont see the valus in the arts so to heck with it you alread get music 3o minutes a week dont you? hated to see it go. congrats on getting the kids into it. phillip glass was on the radio the other day and i enjoyed hearing him reminiss about the golden days of minimilist music. john cage and the gang had a fun challange of conceptual stuff that had the audio element to judge the success of the theory with. kind of like the tea party. it sounds good in theory but when the sounds start coming out only the ones who truley love it can enjoy it the rest of us head to the other room. john cage is an interesting study but give me a little dancing with bears everytime
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Yesterday was John Adams’ “Short Ride in a Fast Machine” – a lot more approachable than Cage or Glass. Thankfully at Daughter’s school they are fully behind the program – the teachers have thus far been appreciative of the work (and the break for both them and their students). I’m in 6 times during the year – about once a month starting in December. I could start earlier, but since I also do Art Adventures, I wait until those presentations are done (usually November). I can handle 25 kids at once, but if I had to keep the attention of the 600+ of the whole school, I would definitely feel out of my depth.
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Visualizing Snoopy the Red Baron on the doghouse, Anna – more power to you. 🙂 Husband is now part of a group of seniors who volunteer in our elem. schools, acting out stories that the kids have been reading… they’re having a ball, esp. the seniors.
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Attention like humor is relative. I think this response to Rush deserves attention because it is funny http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/08/sluts-respond-to-rush-limbaugh_n_1332547.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
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Love this.
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me too.very good
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Funny funny funny!
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Bullseye for Beth-Ann!
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laughing!! thank you
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Oh, that’s fun!
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If nobody ever needed attention from others, there would be no internet. Then we would have no comment trolls, no Perez Hilton, and no self-reflective Tumblr blogs. What kinda life would that be for all of us, I ask you?
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not good dub i agree. show us your stuff.
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You’re right, Chris. It also occurs to me: if nobody ever needed attention from others, there would be no BLOGS!
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by the way the wtf blog is exceptional. great writing important topics. nice to see you are not just another pretty face dub
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Just read several of your recent posts. Ditto.
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Thank you both, and I appreciate the fact that you checked out my blog! I just had to drop a rant in there today, for some people who were far less decent toward me after they stopped by to read my posts over the weekend. But thanks for balancing it out with your kind words! 🙂
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Oh it is glorious outside – we have been outside most of the afternoon. Even had lunch on the front steps in the sunshine. Windows are open, sunshine is streaming in. Lovely lovely lovely.
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yes yes yes
i am sick today that never happens but my back patio was a sunny 75 that me and the dogs soaked up for a couple hours. the cats have jail break proof decks they enjoyed today as well. all the windows open and the fresh air blowing through. ahhhhhhhh
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OT but fun. Spent the morning in a local welding shop butchering a hog and making pork sausage. The welder is also a farmer who raises and butchers all his own beef, pork, and chicken. He has a smoker for his sausage. He and his wife and a married couple we work with all helped him with his pig, and next week we all will do the same for our pig. They have all the equipment one needs to butcher-large tables, electric saws, large tubs, electric meat grinders, and sausage stuffers. I got the leaf lard from today’s pig, the lard on the loin and around the kidneys, It is said to be the best for pie crusts. I am rendering it in the slow cooker out of doors. It is 70 here today, and sunny and dry and glorious. Of course, when it is like that here it also means danger of range fires. I guess we can’t have everything.
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Glad you got such a gorgeous day, Rene.
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We have many recent transplants from Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Texas in town these days with the oil boom, and I have heard from many of them how disappointed they are with our non-winter. They wanted to sled and make snow men and throw snow balls, and it just didn’t happen. I tell them that we get much of our snow in March and April, and that they should be hopeful.
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Just heard there is a grass fire 15 miles southeast of town that has destroyed about 200 acres.
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the pig didnt enjoy the day as much as you did
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True, but at least I have the courage to look my dinner in the face before I eat it.
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Just played Bananagrams with brunch guests out on the picnic table. More later, gotta get back outside!
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I actually got a faint sunburn today. Can’t remember that happening on 11 March before…
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I’m fine with being in the background. It’s liberating to know that what you’re saying and doing is of relatively little consequence to others. Yesterday I performed daughterly duties, went for a bike ride, opened the windows and let the breeze blow through, picked up litter, did some yoga and breathed. I like this blog because when I do have something to say, you are there to listen and not judge.
OT: The hearing for the proposed “Right to Work” constitutional amendment (SF 1705) is Monday at 8 a.m. I will be there in spirit but am feeling bad about not being there in person. Please support working class Minnesotans by contacting your Senator and asking them to vote NO on SF 1705. Thanks.
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I like what you said, Krista. Thank you.
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