Like all other officially registered, photo-ID carrying residents of Minnesota’s 9th Congressional District (all the water surface area in the state), I received this e-mail yesterday afternoon.
Greetings constituents!
Last summer I wrote a newsletter that, like most of my newsletters, went largely unread. That’s OK, I don’t mind. I know my people have busy enough lives without having to pay attention to me! It was a chatty and harmless lark. I talked about how changeable my mind has become, and how I see flexibility as one of my greatest political assets.
Since then, and unbeknownst to me, “flexible” has become a dirty word. President Obama as been labeled our profaner in chief for dropping this newest “F” bomb on Russian President Dimitri Medvedev when he said, apparently thinking the conversation was confidential, that he could be “more flexible” on missile system deployment talks after he (Obama) wins re-election. As a result, a lot of people who once wanted to literally bomb the Russians are now up in arms, saying the president’s hint-hint about “flexibility” is a sign that he is getting ready to give away the farm to Vladimir after November 6th.
Nobody thinks he was really talking about taking yoga classes this Fall, although I think that would be a great idea! No, it’s pretty clear that the President was talking about a necessary difference between his required pre-election positions and his possible post-election actions.
This will hurt Obama among consistency-loving voters who want their politicians to not be politicians. And I fully recognize that if there is going to be a Flexibility Backlash (I’m pretty sure that IS a Hot Yoga pose), I may be swept out of office along with the President (good thing we limbered up)! If so, so be it.
But here’s one thing I want you to remember – when I boasted about always “agreeing with the last person I talked to,” that was an iron-clad promise that I intend to keep.
As my constituent, that solemn pledge means you will always have a chance to change my mind. Get to me at the right moment and you could win the lottery – your view could carry the day! Isn’t that a little more exciting than being represented by someone whose ideas are set in stone? People want to have some hope, and I can give them that, because I’m willing to change.
In fact, all that stuff I said about flexibility almost one year ago is pretty much kaput. I only said it to lock down the prevaricator vote, which commits early in the process. Next come the equivocators, who are famously hard to gauge. All politicians have to work these crowds early. We save the one-issue voters and compromise haters for last – say the magic words and they’ll always fall into place.
And yes, by saying this I admit that I am a politician, unless you insist that you really don’t want one, in which case I might turn out to be just an ordinary guy who could greatly benefit from some stretching exercises done in a very warm room to really loud music.
The world is like that, sometimes. Lock your knees if you must, but when you straighten up too fast, it could make you dizzy!
Your Congressman,
Loomis Beechly
Can you touch your toes?
Trail Baboon 
Good morning to all. Some people are so flexible that you wonder if they have a back bone. I definitely can’t touch my toes without bending my knees and I hope that I do still have a functional back bone.
It will take lots of people that still have back bones to get the politicans to start acting like they have back bones. At my age I think I can forget about touching my toes without bending my knees. Who needs to do that any way?
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Morning all. I’m one of the flexible ones… can still put my palms flat on the floor without bending my knees. Wait… maybe that’s just because I have very short legs!
Clyde – from your post of last night – put me on the list. We can pass around or we could send you a little stack of CDs!
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I have lots of blank CD’s and sleeves for them. They mail cheaply. I cannot imagine anyone reading 350 pages on computer screen, although I did that many times over as a publisher/editor/writer.
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But Clyde, we are interested in you!
BTW, I have just found a potential publisher for my book. They are highly appropriate candidates for yours, I’d think. North Star Press.
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Hope it gets published, Steve!
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Steve is right — when you’re interested in something or someone, you’ll do things you might not otherwise. I’ve been reading “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” on my cell phone whenever I’m waiting someplace with nothing else at hand. It only coughs up 2-3 paragraphs per screen — I’ve been reading it since October!
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Can you do it like Steve does and e-mail a few chapters at a time? It worked well that way for me.
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I’d like to get in line to read your book, too, if I may. Both you and Steve have my complete admiration for writing and finishing a book. Don’t even know what they’re about, but am very curious 🙂
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Can’f touch my toes and can’t touch my nose with my tongue.
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See, there are all kinds of flexibility.
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Rise and FlipFlop Baboons!
I am way too flexible, often needing to get a backbone. Like VS, I can still touch the floor with my palms, stretching and flexing myself into a pretzel. However, once my backbone snaps into place it is unbendable.
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I can still touch the floor just fine, but It annoys me no end that I can’t sit Indian style (half lotus?) anymore. I wish I would do my yoga every morning… And LB is right about not coming up too fast.
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Yeah, I find it unfair, too, that I can touch my toes with ease, but sitting cross-legged causes pain. Bah.
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I am proud to say that I can touch my toes but daughter cannot. She is six feet tall and is all leg, and even when she was in ballet she couldn’t touch her toes. Her father can’t, either. Son can touch his nose with his tongue. I can also touch my thumb to my wrist. Some of us are tall, floppy people, and some of us are just tall and tight.
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If God meant for me to touch my toes, he’d have made my toes prettier and closer, and he wouldn’t have given me arthritis.
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I can to this day touch my toes, and only recently have not been able to touch my nose to my knees, which is very odd because I have a very unflexible body. I cannot turn my neck, arms, wrists, legs and ankles in ways everyone else can. For instance, I cannot stand and turn my toes out to even 45 degrees. Perhaps this is related to the mess that is my body at the neuro-chemical level. Maybe I can bend so well at the waist because I have such a long trunk in comparison to my legs.
In the metaphoric sense I am pragmatically quite flexible, surprising people by how much I am. On the thinking level/philosophical level I am usually flexible, sometimes called wishy-washy. On the level of I interfering in the lives of others or others interfering in my life, I am as stiff as pig iron.
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I have become selectively unflexible as I age – toes, yes, tongue-to-nose, yep. Sideways hip flexibility, not so much. There were those glorious months during pregnancy when the hips and pelvis got all nice and loose and flexible again (and less painful) thanks to those lovely hormones…but that came to an end once the hormone spigot turned from full blast to normal again. Sigh. Almost worth being pregnant again just to have the flexibility back in my hip joint…almost…
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never could touch my toes. had an excersize wher you grab te towel behind your back and stretch across at that 45 degree angle then switch. some can touch their hands and interlock fingers back there , i cant even reach the towel. toes if i bend my knees to about a 45 i can get ot the toes. cross legged no problem. the old wrestling stretch was to lay on you back and stretch over the top to touch your nose on the floor to strengthen and flex your neck. i can still do that but ham strings and shoulder blades got a bad case of short sinew i am afraid
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OPT (On Previous Topic): There was a brief discussion about book binding the other day…
My Child’s Garden of Verses book is in need of some TLC and I wonder if anyone has any experience with this. Do you know someone to recommend? Is it expensive to rebind (the front cover is the main issue)? Would appreciate any of your thoughts?
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sorry… got a little “?” happy 🙂
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Did you say that your copy is 1930? I’d check with a rare or vintage book dealer. You might want to leave it alone.
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I DID say 1930, Krista… I never even considered that it might be best left alone. Good point!
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Firefly, I’ll bet there are folks at the Minnesota Center for Book Arts who could answer your question. http://www.mnbookarts.org/
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I second that. That’s the place to ask. And as somebody mentioned a few days ago, Jana Pullman (whom you can contact through the MN center for book arts) will do a wonderful job. And, yes, it will probably be expensive.
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Steve & Edith… thank you for the lead. I didn’t have a clue where to start.
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Yes, I can touch my toes. As a matter of fact, I can place my palms on the floor and bend my elbows. I can wrap my arms around the back of my legs and pull my nose in even closer. I can’t touch my nose with my tongue though, and sitting cross-legged with a straight back can be very painful. Try sitting cross-legged with a straight back, then lean forward over your crossed legs and walk your hands forward in front of you as far as you can, rest there and walk your hands back. Then switch legs and repeat. This stretches your hips. (*Hint: try using a small, folded bath towel to sit on for a little less pain while sitting cross-legged.)
I’ve been taking yoga classes, not hot or fast yoga, just hatha yoga, with quiet, soothing, meditative music (maybe Enya) and lots of deep breathing and relaxation. I’m trying to be more flexible and keep my lower back healthy. I want to say it’s effective but it’s really day by day. Like LB, some days I’m just more flexible than others!
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I just LOVE Beechly! His presence on this forum provides a wonderful medium for all sorts of mischief, after all. The far bigger story coming out of O’s gaffe is Romney’s public response to it: Romney immediately declared that Russia “Is our biggest geopolitical enemy!”. Interestingly, and of all people, Boehner then made a statement highly critical of Romney for stirring up trouble while the prez is in another country (yes, THAT one!). Oh, the gift of gaffe!!
As to physical flexibility, I can dance vigorously for five consecutive hours but get winded just walking to the mailbox. I’ve never understood this.
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dance to the mailbox…simple
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I had to test the toe-touching this AM. I thought, “Yes, I can” until I noticed that knees were bent. So “no” on straight-legged-toe-touch. Tongue to nose, “Yes”, Thumb to wrist, not anymore, apparently.
A friend is practicing teaching yoga at my house for a few people. Inflexibility is a frequent subject. Just sitting with legs straight and trying to bend from the hips instead of the back is very discouraging. I can only bend about 1/4″. My teacher/friend has been doing yoga very frequently and faithfully as she has gone through her training and she STILL complains about not being flexible enough (though she’s way ahead of the rest of us).
Sadly, I’m with Congressman LB on the “agreeing with the last person” (or last letter-to-the-editor-read). I am firm on my pretty flamingly liberal values but on specific topics, I can be too easily swayed by the last argument. I envy those who can argue a side with fervor. My mind fills with the yeah-buts and I hesitate to open my mouth.
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Physically, I’m pretty flexible… and my thinking is quite flexible. I’m trying to become more flexible in my expectations of the people closest to me. I can see their potential and know what they are capable of… but it’s really none of my business if they choose to be less than that. Heaven knows there’s much more I COULD be doing… I’m just thankful that my loved ones accept me the way I am. I’m trying to include more stretches of my expectation muscle in my workout regime.
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best stretch possible
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All of you who claim “tongue-to-nose” is proof flexibility have me puzzled. That makes you a good candidate for French kissing, but I don’t see the connection to physical or ideological flexibility!
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Dang! I sure need an “edit” button.
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Lord, don’t we all.
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tim doesn’t.
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Well, you’ve got a point there, Oblio.
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I didn’t see tongue-muscle as parallel to hamstring-tendons either but, since BA brought it up and others chimed in, I thought I’d join in with my claim.
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Can I touch my toes? With a bit of effort, sure (note, I didn’t say anything about not bending the knees); I can even manage to get my socks on without a sock aid! If I can’t get my socks on without the help of a $4.00 piece of bent plastic, my husband will serve as my sock aid. That’s what I told the OT who thought I might need to purchase one; she didn’t see the humor in that: in fact, she thought I was being obstinate, and perhaps I was. Right now I could use a good cup of tea in a travail mug.
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Welcome back, PJ! I’ve heard husbands called many things, but “sock aid” is new.
I looked for “travail mug” in the glossary and didn’t find it. Could be worth adding. Sometimes it seems all my mugs are travail mugs, especially the one in the mirror in the morning!
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[snicker] “…a travail mug….” [snicker]
Hi PJ!
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I mam my wife’s sock aid, P.J. Glad to do it. Glad to see you this operational again, indeed.
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Welcome back, PJ. You’ve earned a sock aid AND a travail mug!
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Hmmm, does OT mean something besides Off Topic?
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Occupational therapist?
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Yep.
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Glad to see you posting, PJ. Love being home?
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I love being home. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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for your travail mug:
ergoterapeuter er uvidende sluts
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I can touch my toes while I’m standing, but not while I’m sitting (with legs straight). Maybe as I exercise more and get my core stronger, as well as practice stretching even if it’s uncomfortable, I will become more flexible.
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Afternoon–
Huh, If God wanted me to touch my toes he wouldn’t have put them so far away.
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Miss Madelaine Island has not escaped her E-Exile, I gather, darn it.
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Greetings! I can place my palms flat on the floor, knees straight and nose to knees. I can do the splits to the floor, but not a sideways splits. I’m flexible going forwards, but not sideways or backwards. Wonder what that means … My back and hips are stiff, so I cannot do many yoga poses easily — sure wish I could.
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So I go to “teacher yoga” after school today (subsidized by the school district!) and come home to read the Trail. Perfect! For me it’s all about the balance. If I can put my pants on standing up in the morning it’s going to be a good day.
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Man, they didn’t have “teacher yoga” when I was teaching!
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If I reach for my toes with knees straight, my fingertips dangle about four inches above my feet. I never was very flexible, though – that’s probably not changed very much since I was in junior high. The difference is that now I get dizzy and lightheaded when I stand up straight again.
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I’ve never been very flexible either…but I’m definitely less flexible than when I was in junior high.
Maybe you should keep your toe-touching to those times when you haven’t had a few glasses of wine…maybe the dizziness and lighheadedness would improve then.
(just kidding.)
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😆
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Good Evening Babooners!
I can touch my toes and put my palms flat on the floor, but since having knee surgery 3 years ago, I haven’t been able to kneel or sit cross-legged. It’s very frustrating. I can’t imagine when I get older and won’t be able to move as much. I read all of your stories about stiff limbs and I know that’s going to be me. Family history is very scary sometimes. Oh well, I’ll try to enjoy movement while I can 😉
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nice having you back whippersnapper. your entries are a welcome sight. welcome to the club when it comes to not being able to do stuff after surgery. i cant play the concert piano after i broke my foot.
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Running late as always and a day OT, but yesterday (or was it the day before?) when you all were talking about book covers and illustrations and all those good things, I wanted to say I went to the Anne Lamott reading and couldn’t get within 50 yards of her, couldn’t see OR hear anything, so I had to turn right around and come home. Too bad! Sounds like tim managed to elbow his way to the front somehow, lucky him 🙂 There must have been 200 or 300 people there and I was behind a woman in a wheelchair. It was either mow her down or leave peacefully.
Happily, today at the library I found a notice that Anne Fadiman will be at Highland Park Library on May 7th. Didn’t someone else mention her, too? That should be a good reading and I’m planning to get there at least an hour early. Just FYI in case anyone else is interested. . .
PS I can still touch my toes and hands flat on the floor for all the good that does. However, having a flexible or accommodating attitude at work has always worked well for me. I currently manage a small real estate office, but when things are slow, my friend/employer and I garden together which helps her and gets me away from the computer into the fresh air. Win-win!
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an hour early was the ticket for anne lamott. i knew she’d pack em in and so i got there a little over an hour early and that was already too late for a chair. so i stood and chatted with the neighbors for the pre time and had a nice time. no jerks show up for book stuff. its a rule.
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Robin, I’m surprised you’re the first one to say “for all the good that does” following “I can still touch my toes and hands flat on the floor.” 🙂
Was it Anne Fadiman who wrote something called At Large and At Small, which I think Linda mentioned – I put it on my list… Field trip on May 7! She doesn’t seem as well know as A. Lamott, so maybe it won’t be quite so crowded (except for Baboons).
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Yes, she’s the one. Ex Libris is another book of her essays. I really don’t know why, but when Anne Fadiman’s name comes up, I always think of Amy Goodman and Sara Vowell, too — each a strong writer, smart and literate and insightful. Yes to a field trip!
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