Four Baboons Wanted – I’m taking a blog holiday for Thanksgiving, from Tuesday November 20 through Monday, November 26. Guest posts from Clyde and Jim are in the hopper (thanks, guys). Four more guest posts will keep fresh material before your eyes throughout. Care to volunteer? Drop a line to connelly.dale@gmail.com, and thanks!
Today’s post comes from dealmaker Spin Williams.
We’ve been talking about investment opportunities at The Meeting That Never Ends, and I’m excited! There is now a new way to make fresh money, and to make the wealth you already have grow more quickly and last forever!
A labor dispute has pushed the Hostess company closer to going out of business, the result of a stubborn workforce (if you side with the owners) or greedy owners (if you side with the workforce). Regardless of who is most to blame, the Twinkie extruding machines have fallen silent, and the bakers (it feels odd to call Twinkie-makers that) may never work in the junk-food industry again.
What that means is that for the foreseeable future, the only Twinkies that exist will will be those that were made before yesterday.
When an item is scarce, its value goes up. That’s why gold is precious, and that’s long-lasting Twinkies will become the new gold.
Just look at what’s happening to the price on E-Bay!
Here, at last, is an investment opportunity that can pay dividends. If I had put all my savings into Twinkie Futures last week, I’d be headed for Cozumel right now. Another get rich quick scheme discovered too late! But one has to be careful. What about counterfeiters?
I’m not too concerned – Todd Wilbur’s knock-off Twinkie couldn’t fool an expert. If nothing else, the mere freshness of the thing would give it away.
And so, with the increasingly rare Twinkie we are left with a beloved gold rectangle that becomes more valuable with each passing year. I suspect now that we are rapidly approaching the Fiscal Cliff, the reputation of the dollar will suffer greatly in the near future.
Now might be the time to switch to Twinkies instead of cash money on the open market. They’re portable. They’re recognizable. They come individually wrapped. And they might be more stable than the Euro.
I have already begun to build my stockpile. How about you?
Spin Williams
I suppose Spin has a point, though I’d certainly remain a pauper if we started using Twinkies as money. I am, however, quite rich in Tostito’s.
If we started using ordinary household items as money, what would make you a millionaire?
Trail Baboon 
Good morning. We have several sets of dishes at our house. Two sets that we use plus at least three that are sitting in boxes some place. If we add in an assortment bowls, serving plates and other miscellaneous dish ware, we would have a big collection to use as currency.
The dishes would not make a good kind of currency to carry around to use to buy things. We would need to issue bills that that are backed up by the collection of dishes. Small currency would be issued for each kind of dish ware. Bigger bills would be for individual place settings and larger serving dishes. Even larger bills would be backed by whole sets of dishes or very fancy glass items. We would only put old keepsake dishes into circulation if times get hard and we were down to our last place setting.
I doubt that we have enough dishes to make us millionaires if they could be used as currency, but we might come close to having enough to live on for at least a few years in retirement. If our collection of old magazines, paper back books, and other printed material could be used for currency we would probably be in pretty good shape financially.
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Well, before we begin to use Twinkies for money, check out The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project.
Several scientific tests on Twinkies (including a Turing test):
http://www.twinkiesproject.com/
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Thanks for posting fun link, Ken. Somehow it’s reassuring to me that people continue to find wonderfully wacky ways of wasting time (say that fast three times).
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Cool – check out the Results in Haiku! 🙂
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Funny! Thanks Ken.
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Lots of dust and dog and cat hair here. Easy to carry the dog and cat hair around – it sticks to certain clothes pretty well. Other than that – books.
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Dust bunnies is what I was going to say before Edith beat me to it…
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Maybe we could go into business together.
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I think we could just trade houses and not know the difference, Edith!
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I guess it would have to be clothing. Shopping in thrift shops is dangerous because you can almost always afford what you’d like to buy, so you just do it. I’ve come home and found a top the same type and color as the one I just bought, hanging in my closet. (A better memory would be useful, too.) And more than once I’ve almost bought something, then realized that I ALREADY DID, and donated it to this place not long ago. Anyway, when I went to switch out the summer for winter clothing this time, I was sort of appalled.
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I did that once – looked at something carefully in a thrift store before I realized that I had donated it a couple weeks earlier.
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Kid art – though some of it is more portable than other pieces and some pieces might begin to fall apart before you could present them in trade for goods. Also difficult to determine actual worth consistently as select pieces would be more valuable to family or other parents/grandparents vs adults who are less fond of children. There may also be a negative value on some pieces, depending on where you are using it as legal tender, like those pieces covered in glitter which might be fine at a kid’s toy shop with mop-able floors and an already present ambience of sparkle, but less desirable at a high-end boutique clothing store where everything is muted tones and rich fabrics that would cling to the glitter as if it were little shiny life preservers…
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Morning all. I have lots of dog hair and dust bunnies, as has been listed by others. I could also live large if my inked stamp pads or scrap cardstock was worth gold.
And ;hopefully Spin Willias won’t spent much time trying to find Twinkies. I was in three different stores this morning that carry Hostess and nobody has anything left. (No I wasn’t looking for Twinkies specifically… other to-do list today… but when I noticed there were none at the first place, then I started looking for the. Zippo.)
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Books (but I just can’t part with them), cassette tapes of children’s stories my children listened to while they fell asleep (someday they will be transferred to CD’s), sausage seasoning mixes my husband has acquired over the years that he insists he will someday use in homemade sausage, old piano books from my and my husband’s and our daughter’s childhoods (won’t our grandchildren need them someday?), old crayons, coloured pencils, and markers from our daughter’s elementary school years that were too good to throw out but not new enought to take to back school at the beginning of the new year, reams of minutes from hospital and library boards that my husband hasn’t been on for years. and hair ties and bobby pins that belong to my daughter but are strewn all over the house. I forgot to mention, by the way, that we heard David Sedaris in Bismarck last Monday and he was wonderful.
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Isn’t he just the most delightful storyteller
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Books and CD’s but fewer all the time of both.
Framed art.
Yea, dishes here, too and pillows, the decorative kind, not the useful kind.
Pennies, which of course, is not real money.
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We have fewer of the pillows and less Christmas stuff we cannot use, just do not have room. The few things that are good, we put out as “free” in the lobby. It will go fast.
My son’s apartment in Seattle has a free exchange website. They have handed off a few things this week.
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I guess that means our pillow stock is down.
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So my son went on the building exchange website and discovered that two floors above him lives a woman with whom he worked many years ago in the Cites. Their company closed. She went to Boston. He went to San Diego. She moved onto Houston; he moved onto San Jose. They lost track of each other until today. Being in the same building is a long shot, but not the city. San Diego, San Jose, Boston, Houston, Seattle–the big time computer game industry cities.
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Sounds like your son is in the place he was meant to be, with his people
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OT (sort of) – Dale, I think if you don’t get enough blog posts to post something every day, you should just set them up to go live every other day or so. I’m betting that things might be a little slow on the Trail with Thanksgiving next week. Also, I think we’ve proven that we don’t need a fresh post to keep the conversation going.
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sounds like a post form the big house is in order. waht do they serve on thanksgiving on those tin plates? do they watch football. has the old battleaxe who heads up the ladies in the playground at recess really got a whole stockpile of cigarettes tucked behind the loose bricks in the cell? cmon edith take a slot.
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tim, it is best for me to set aside any writings I do for several days so I can re-read it and see how stupid it is before I send it to Dale (and either improve it before sending or not send it). What I write off the top of my head is never as good as what you write off the top of your head, tim.
All that to say – I don’t know if I can get one to Dale in time. And I do sincerely think that we don’t need fresh posts every single day – we always seem to find SOMETHING to talk about.
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I think you are right about not needing a new post every day, Edith. I am also a slow writer and it takes me some time to get what I end up offering into it’s final form. Some of mine have needed a fair amount of editing by Dale, but I think I am doing a better job of editing myself recently. I hadn’t sent in anything for awhile and was feeling guilty about that so I did one last week. I’m glad I did that because I will also be busy with some holiday stuff and would not have much time to work on a post in the next few days.
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I go back often because I don’t feel done. I think maybe a note like the one regarding leandras comment can take you back to reference an oldie not yet finished. Hit the copy mode and paste it under rt. renewed topic
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i am rich in unfinished stuff that i cant part with it isnt worth anything but just a little work and a fix up here and there and it will be good enough to do the trick. cant throw away this almost good enough thing when in just 2 or 3 hours and a couple trips to the store it could be fully restored back to its true value of 4 or 5 dollars. i have lots of stuff that i can fix up to make me a millionaire. i may have to alter the asking price a bit. lemonade for 3000 dollars a glass is nt a big seller but all you need is two or three sales a week to make it all work out.
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sarcasm.
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Oh, do you have a lot of sarcasm at your place, TGITH? How could that be?
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Nooooooo, I don’t have ~any~ sarcasm. I don’t allow such kerfuffle. Sarcasm that touches words will nary touch my lips. Such would be anathema and painful to the fiberous core of my being. Sarcasm? Heaven forfend and fates rain down upon me should such blasphemy tempt.
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Off to see Peter & Lou at the house concert. Don’t know if they’ll be doing any ‘at the door’ tickets but you can call 651-227-4358 to find out. Doors open at 7 and the show starts at 7:30.
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New word of the day, a la bing.com:
for·fend [ fawr fénd ] 1.prevent something happening: to protect or secure against something happening
Synonyms: prevent, stop, ward off, avoid, forestall, deter, forfend, obviate.
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This is actually a reply to BiR’s reply. It’s interesting that a synonym for forfend is “forfend”.
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Snidity.
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Ironism.
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Cynicalty–an emotional disorder which gives the sufferer a doubtifully bleach outlook on the future.
Confoundedism–Chinese religion. Confounded say, “You will never really know anything you think you know.”
Enigmatism–an eye disorder in which the person sees both sides at once.
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The treatment protocol for cynicality is a long-tern course of the drug Antisac.
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I like the idea of using dishes. Unfortunately if other people have as many as we do, they would be close to valueless. I have a beautiful set of tea cups and saucers, for instance. (My great aunt gave me some of her older things when I was getting my first apartment.) We have used them less than once a year in the last forty years. While they are “fun” to have, my children are not interested, and I would love to use them as currency. But my guess is that my local grocery store would not take them in trade.
I love Tim’s idea of having enough stuff to make him a millionaire. I may have enough stuff, too, but only if I can choose the selling price!
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We have a nice set of dishes that has never been used. They came from my parents who bought them and never used them. I don’t know what to do with them. Then there is a set that I think was used on some occasions by my mother-in-law, but we have never used it. I think I remember another set that is stored some place which probably was used by my parents. I don’t even want to think about the collection of decorative glass serving ware from various relatives. I have no idea what should be served in some of these unusual glass dishes. What are we going to do with all of our dishes, Vicky, if we can’t use them as currency?
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I puzzle over the same thing, Jim. Fortunately, I have several sisters so I do NOT have my mom’s good china – she gave it to another daughter. I sometimes think the dishes multiply in the cupboard.
Come to think of it, has anyone ever thought of a good use for the cupboard version of the seed-cap? Which is to say, all the mugs bearing logos of different local companies… We seem to have rather a lot. I suppose I just need to throw them out, since I don’t believe I asked for any of them. But I keep thinking I will find a way to use them.
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Pen and pencil holders? White elephant gifts?
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Planters? Fill ’em up with assorted herbs and let them grow on your windowsills…then you can snip off whatever you need when you’re cooking. At least that’s what I might do if I were organized, actually thought ahead enough to grow herbs instead of throwing whatever I have on hand in the pot, and had more than one decent window in my teeny tiny kitchen.
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Edith, I’m already using several for pen and pencil holders, and I don’t know if anybody would appreciate them for white elephant gifts…
Anna, the idea of growing herbs is intriguing, although I haven’t got any window sills. I could probably put up a shelf under one window… (I have two, but they both face west so the herbs would need to be somewhere else in the hottest part of summer or they would be pre-cooked.) How does it work when there is no drainage in a pot?
This is good! Keep the suggestions flowing in!
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I’m not a great one for managing house plants, but I do think that drainage is important. If you are very careful you might be able to keep plants going in mugs that have no drainage hole. It would require very careful watering to provide enough water without over watering. If you can find some pots with drainage holes that fit inside the mugs you would have a better chance of getting the watering right. You could check to see if you have added too much water by lifting the pots out of the mugs. There should be very little water in the mug. If there is more than a slight amount water in the mug, pour it out before putting the potted plant back in the mug. Then you could try to adjust your watering so that there is very little water in the mug following watering.
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Before you fill with dirt half fill with something that will act act a spot excess water can disapate rather than causing root rot, little rocks crushed tin foil or marbles a few broken cups to set in the bottoms of the chosen cups?
I thought herb gardens but how about Tupperware replacement. A coffee cup is always how much is left over ans a roll of cellophane and bag of rubber bands will make it a pretty storage container that is descript to keep salsa clear and seperatedo from spaghetti sauce.
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This is just an incredible paragraph, tim!
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Wow, the ideas about drainage are excellent, and Tim, well, I just don’t know what to say! You’re right they would be a good replacement for those little plastic containers that just keep multiplying in the corners of the cupboards. (If I don’t buy any, where do they come from? Do that many people give me food?)
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Timminananitia —a disorder in which the sufferer produces long streams of intelligible-sounding gibberish. An effective home remedy is a whack aside the head to drop the needle back in the groove. A second whack is sometimes necessary to reboot the system.
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🙂
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Ectopic – meant to put it under Clyde’s.
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Evening—
We got a fortune in dust here. Made a withdrawl today however as we vacuumed off the top of the kitchen cabinets; our ‘pre-Thanksgiving’ cleaning.
How about plastic bags and plastic storage bins. I’ve always joked with Kelly that we should be investing in the places that make plastic storage bins.
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Oh yeah, plastic bags, plastic bins here, too. And cardboard boxes.
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Ah. Good choice BiR.
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From this iconic clip, I went to a scene with Benjamin and Mrs. Robinson. I was curious and just looked it up to find that Anne Bancroft was only 6 years older than Dustin Hoffman but he was playing young and she was playing old(er).
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The clip made me realize I do want to watch this movie again.
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Greetings! I have a fortune of dust, dirt and papers in my house. After moving 3 times in 2.5 years, we’ve gotten rid of a fair amount of stuff, but we still have extra, unnamed stuff that I can’t get Jim to let go. Lots of DVDs, VHS tapes and books, but I’m trying to cut down on those to just what we really want — then get the rest as needed from Netflix or the library as we want new stuff.
Twinkies as currency is hysterical. Reminded me of a time when i worked at R&D in Pillsbury. The scientists were working on this awesome frozen dessert. It was a brownie on the bottom, ice cream and then a fudge or caramel topping with nuts or chips. It was frozen in individual servings, and you would warm it in the microwave so the brownie and topping were warm, but the ice cream was still cold. It was code-named “Frost” (I’m telling you top secret stuff, but since Pillsbury is no more … well). It was almost ready to go to market — the packaging was beautiful, the product was awesome, but I don’t think they were able to manage long range transportation of product or something. They had made a bunches of it in the pilot plant; so once the project was cancelled that’s all there was left of Frost.
Well, Frost became a high value commodity in the building. If a scientist wanted favors or whatever, a bribe of some Frost was sure to grease the wheels. Eventually, it ran out. However, rumors abounded of a hidden stash of Frost somewhere in the back freezers or in the labs. Some would turn up here and there. People were trying to trade Green Giant coupons for FREE stuff in exchange for Frost; but one Frost was worth at least 5 free coupons. It was crazy. Food scientists are a funny lot. They’re very smart, logical and scientific, but the best ones at R&D were also wildly creative. Fun times!
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That is funny!
My sister is also a food scientist. (I won’t name where because I might be giving away secrets here). This summer she came home with a plain silver foil bag of a new flavor of chips. (I can’t remember the exact combination of flavors). When I asked if this was something special she said it was a test product but wouldn’t be released. For good reason: It wasn’t that good so nobody will be bartering for them.
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Cool
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