Why do we have the Internet?
So we can know that somewhere there is a goat who takes its language cues from chickens.
But surely there is more to this than a simple story about an impressionistic young ungulate being raised by an exotic, feathered family – learning to scratch, peck, cluck, and lay an egg like his brothers and sisters. After all, it’s not all about the environment where you grow. Goats are around people all the time and yet they don’t mimic us.
At least not when they know we can hear them.
But communication does occur, with or without words.
Still, it might be nice to have an extended conversation in English.
If you could get an interview with only one animal, which one would you choose?
Trail Baboon 
Good morning. It would be nice to be able to talk to my dog. I think I sort of know what he would say. Maybe a wild animal such as one of the birds that come to my bird feeder would be a good choice. A blue jay might have some interesting things to tell me. I don’t know if I want to hear what a squirrel would to say. A squirrel might be give me a lot of back talk and angry replies. Maybe I could have some good conversations with a rabbit. We could talk about vegetables. I could tell the rabbit that if he stops eating some of my prized vegetables I would plant a plot of his favorite vegetable just for him.
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Well, I don’t seem to be fully awake this morning. I hope you can read my messed up writing.
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seems fine to me
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Rise and Shine Baboons!
That goat is a confused animal. And funny! I would love to hear what my dogs have to say about Lou and I.
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I would choose the kindest, most patient horse for my interview. My top question would be: why? Why do you let us ride you? It’s not for food. Riding interrupts horses’ access to food. It’s not for water, for the same reason it’s not for food, plus you know what humans say about leading you to water… Could it be for love? Why?
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Welcome, Pam. I like your thoughts about horses.
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Welcome to the Trail, Pam. I hope it’s for love… I worry that we might not like to hear what some of our animals have to say… hope it wouldn’t burst our bubbles!
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Come on in, Pam. The banter’s warm.
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I think Barney would mostly tell me he needs more belly rubs. And treats. And stop already with the nail trimming – he’s a basset, not a fashion model after all. The small grey cat, who is 19 and mostly hides, her I’d like to talk to. I’d like to know more about her 3 years before I adopted her, ask if she misses her kittens, and maybe if I could talk with her she could tell me why she doesn’t always use the litter box (especially when she’s cranky about something – though maybe if she could talk she could just tell me she’s cranky). She seems to have an interesting internal narrative – and I’m sure she’d have some sage advice about aging and how the body changes as you get older.
Two sets of zoo animals who would be fun to listen in on would be the orangutans at Como Zoo – they always seem so laid back (duuuuude, that guy in the green shirt totally got ice cream down his front….dude, if I got ice cream it’d go in my mouth, not down my front, but first I gotta nap). Or the penguins at the MN Zoo. What really goes on in the head of a penguin? Is it all about fish? Do they dream of flying through the air? How frustrating is it if they get an itch in the middle of their back (those flippers can’t reach it, that’s for sure)?…
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I think there is a bestselling book there – Interview With the Penguin by Anna Bliss. After the phenomenal success of the first book, there are several more installments in the series, The Penguin Chronicles.
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Now you have me thinking about actually writing Interview with the Penguin. Hmm…
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I’d read that.
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I think the most interesting animal to talk to would be a dolphin, whale or elephant. I have a pretty good idea of what the cats would want to say to me already; they make their message clear every time I walk through the kitchen. Whales and elephants are already very intelligent, fairly long-lived and highly social animals, so we’d have a foundation of commonality, but the differences would be vast and fascinating (this is assuming they’d want to talk to me at all, or say anything beyond asking why humans are trying to kill them off and destroy their habitats). Of course, the REALLY interesting communication would be with trees. Interesting, but definitely not easy.
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i listened to a radio show once talking about how they charted wales with underwater microphone place around the world for checking on subs or something and the tracking and distance of the whales calls were haunting. the punchline to the story is that the whales loooonnnggg sonar like tones when speeded up sound exactly like a birds chirps. it was eerie
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I want to know what my terrier is thinking, and why she takes such delight in her naughty antics.We have a shy kitty, too, like Anna, and I want to know what she is so scared of so that I could help her feel safer.
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One or two former students come to mind.
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🙂
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One of my very favorite students, whom I taught in grades 2-4 and 9-12, turns 40 today in Afgahnistan. One of the joys of Jonathan was that he was often close to wild, but not quite. Brilliant kid. A bit of animal in our soul does us all good. I helped him get into West Point and then sort of counseled him into staying. He loves the life, but every time he goes into harm’s way, I a feel responsible for his being there. Here is the funny thing. Both my daughter and I wrote on his wall for his birthday the same thing. “Happy Birthday, old friend. Stay safe.”
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I always enjoy hearing you talk about your students. You don’t sound like you take great pride in your teaching, but from my perspective you had an exceptionally sophisticated and flexible appreciation for your students in all their frustrating variety.
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To read something I wrote on the endless quandary that is education, click on my name, Steve.
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As s substitute teacher, I found that most of the middle school kids seem to be more less like what I think you are talking about, Clyde. I classroom full of almost any kind of animal would be easier to manage than some of those classrooms full of middle school kids. I might be exaggerating, but not too much.
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saw a special on yellowstone the other night and the otters would be a good interview, the bison would be without much joy, the elk at least the ones pictured would be like interviewing a psych ward and the wolves would be like filming an old western , action here action there, the kids come out to play for a while then more action.
my first thought went to big cats, leopards, jaguars, cheetahs something about grace and power is intriguing but if we are down to one it would be the otter.
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Most folks have seen this bit of video about rescuing a whale, and what the whale did afterward:
That made me interested in talking to a whale or a dolphin.
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I’ve always liked polar bears – I think I’d like to know what they’re thinking about as they travel the tundra. I’ve always liked this video – although the bears are being perfectly clear in their communication here. How do we get to the chewy center of this treat?
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Fear! Is he kidding? Those bears are so powerful; what would he have done if they had been really determined to get to him? I shudder to think of it.
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I love how calm the polar bears were. No lunging or charging – just very matter-of-factly trying to get through those pesky bars.
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I’ve always loved this clip – the dog talking comes at about the minute mark!
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I’d love to interview the female osprey who returns the first week of April each year to nest with her mate at the DNR fish hatchery here in Waterville. I’d ask her where she goes each winter and how she recognizes her mate when she returns. I’d ask her if she knows where her offspring are and if they’ll be back to nest somewhere near here. I’d ask her how she is able to dive into the water and come back up with a fish in her talons. I’d ask her how it feels to be able to fly.
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Great thoughts. Makes me think that I’d love to hear from all those swallows that come back to Capistrano every year…. how do they do that? And why?
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I also have questions for the birds. I am especially interest in how so many different kinds of them manage to survive in our area where we have removed so much of the natural environment. What are they finding to eat when they hop around in the yard and foliage near my house?
With the ground covered with snow and insects no longer flying due to cold weather, where do they find food. I sure hope they don’t get all of their food from bird feeders. Some kinds don’t even show much interest in bird feeders and there are times when my feeder is empty. I really like seeing all the kinds that come around, but how to they manage to live in a place doesn’t seem to have a lot food sources and cover for them?
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i have been to capistrano accidentally or rather unintentionaltley on the day they return and the question is why. its kind of a weird spot you would never guess had anything to do with anything. on the peak of a church that is otherwise unassumng
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oh, yes!
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I’m very curious about all the wildlife in our yard. I really should read up on them more – where are the birds’ nests? and the rabbits’? How DOES the woodchuck get in, since it looks like the fence is solid? Where does everyone go when it rains? How many squirrels are there really, how many babies did you have? Why won’t anyone nest in my little bird house in the lilac bush?
I had a book once called something life The Secret Life of Rabbits, but I left it on a plane before I got to read it…
Also would like to talk to a llama – after seeing them up close at the State Fair – What is behind that expression??
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I just stepped out my back door, and found the Resident Bunny up on the rock wall, behind the lilac. Said “Well hi, what are you up to? S/he didn’t reply, but he didn’t run away.
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Goats and goat folk are too long absent on here. Thanks, DC.
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Agreed! I sent an email to BiB this morning to let her know the Trail was goin’ goatin’ today… maybe she’ll lurk later!
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I have rabbits in my backyard from time to time here in Clarks Grove. I usually only see them at night, but they do show up in day light sometimes. I’ve more or less learned to live with them by putting a little chicken wire or some other temporary fence around plants they damage. They only like certain things and usually only eat vegetables at an early growth stage, leaving them alone when they get bigger. A very flimsy fence can be used to protect young plants because rabbits don’t seem to want to go inside any enclosed area.
I would like to let the rabbits know that I like to see them around and they don’t need to run away when they see me. Of course they might be aware that I like to eat rabbits and are afraid that I might catch one and eat it if it got too close. Probably it is best if they don’t get too close to me.
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James Herriot’s (real name Alf Wight) first collection of stories in England was printed under the name “If Only They Could Talk.” I love that name. Although the American titles are wonderful, too.
I would like to hear animals talk in general to tell me how they perceive the world. Do their eyes work like ours?Do they see colors? How do they smell and hear differently. It seems many animals get a very different message from the ir senses than we do.
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Prairie Dogs fascinate me. I’d love to know what they’re thinking. I’ve spent hours, literally, on my stomach looking at them near the entrance to Devil’s Tower. They are social creatures, and seem so interested in everything, constantly scurrying about and communicating with each other. Their underground burrows help them survive pretty extreme temperatures, and they seem to thrive on very little; amazing little creatures. How do they perceive the world?
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A good song. Not such a good movie. You just have to imagine that he was embarrassed to film the scene.
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It’s just so … ~wrong~ to see and hear Clint singing in a movie. Give me Dirty Harry or the semi-lovable curmudgeon from “Gran Torino” any day.
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give me the interview at the gop converntion. i changed my initail thoughts when clint pops up since then. not for the better. now he reminds me of charlten heston. i hear mel gibson is 57 today or yesterday. another changed initial thought over a period of time
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I had a great book from the library several years ago, something like “Urban Safari” or “Backyard Safari” – just looked and can’t find it in Hennepin Cty. system, or amazon.com… sound familiar to anyone? I only half finished it before it was due, was always going to read the rest – had a great chapter on Crows and how underappreciated they are.
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Does this sound like it? “The suburban lawn sprouts a crop of contradictory myths. To some, it’s a green oasis; to others, it’s eco-purgatory. Science writer Hannah Holmes spent a year appraising the lawn through the eyes of the squirrels, crows, worms, and spiders who think of her backyard as their own. Suburban Safari is a fascinating and often hilarious record of her discoveries: that many animals adore the suburban environment, including bears and cougars venturing in from the woods; how plants, in their struggle for dominance, communicate with their own kind and battle other species; and that ways already exist for us to grow healthier, livelier lawns.”
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Yes, VS, I’m sure that’s it. I’ll have to reserve it… Don’t you wish there was a career called “bookfinder”? You’d be a shoe-in.
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Perhaps “research librarian” is a career in her future?…or “reference librarian?” The librarians at my local branch are pretty good at, “it’s a book about this and I think the author had X in their name…” They have found many things for me based on vague descriptions, partial author names, and me waving my hands about.
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I had a lot of practice when I was in the bookstore. “My girlfriend says I should read the book about the priest and the Jewish family. “I saw a book on Phil Donahue last week — it had a red cover.” “I want that brand new book by James Michener – but I want it in paperback.”
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I think I would like to talk to a butterfly or a lunar moth. Maybe a monarch butterfly because of their amazing migration. A lunar moth because they are so beautiful.
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that opens the door for jim and his nemotodes
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In our household, I think it’s pretty obvious what Daisy is thinking. “Isn’t it time for another walk yet?” “How about another treat, then?” “You mean it’s not OK for me to chase the cat?” “Sorry.” “Oh goody, Hans is home, it’s almost dinner time.”
Martha, on the other hand is a lot more inscrutable; there’s clearly a lot going on inside that little cathead of hers. What is she thinking when she suddenly, for no apparent reason, tears through the house and leaps on top of tall furniture? What’s going through her head when she, without provocation, leaps up in my lap and bites my hand, not hard, just enough to let me know she wants some attention?
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I would have liked to interview Rocky and Bulwinkle. But I supose it is too late for them.
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