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Pompous Circumstances

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Today’s post comes from Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing all the water surface area in Minnesota.

Beechly Ice shark copy

Greetings, constituents, and H.I.D.O.! (Happy Inauguration Day (Observed))

I love the ceremony and tradition that surrounds the installation of a President of the United States, even if it’s just a re-swearing-in! This only happens once every four years. That’s why I’ll be there in the crowd, watching today.

I know – you’re thinking – “Hey, you’re a member of Congress – shouldn’t you have a special seat?” And yes, the answer is “I should, and I would if I was willing to schmooze and cozy up to the Powers That Be.” And it would also help if I was an officially recognized member of Congress, but that’s another story. Even some of the recognized members don’t have enough clout to sit up there on the platform. The truth is – I really love being among the people so watching with the thousands gathered on the National Mall is preferable – absolutely the best place to be.

And yes, of course I had to say that. Unlike SOME people, I will have to run for office again!

I know I’m in for A LOT of time spent on my feet. I’ll have to be at the mall several hours before the festivities start, and that’s extra true if I want to be able to see the stage. So while billions of people are viewing the festivities remotely, some in excruciating close-up detail on high definition plasma TV screens, I will be experiencing it as a true community event.

From my place standing near the back of the crowd, the president will seem like a very tiny speck hovering just above the left ear of the person in front of me – a man impossibly far away saying important-sounding things about common goals and shared values – a leader whose inspirational words will echo off the buildings all around me, his voice almost as loud as the grumblings of my empty stomach.

That’s why I intend to pack a meal.

I’ll have to keep it small since the security is going to be tight and anybody carrying a huge sack like the one I usually use for my picnics is bound to be stopped and questioned. Out of respect for those around me, I’ll hold the onions on my sandwich. And I probably shouldn’t bring peanut butter and jelly in case people near me have peanut allergies. I suppose the sandwich shouldn’t be too juicy either – ketchup stains have to be rinsed out right away! And I’m going to skip the kettle chips this time, because the crunching could be a distraction for my famished neighbors.

I guess that’s a true feeling of community for you – all of us packed in together, suffering equally and compromising for the sake of others.

Plus, I’m a public figure, so I have to be careful about everything that happens in and around my mouth. People are always looking for something they can use against you. As a politician, I’m keenly aware I could be accused of being locked in a “Baloney In, Baloney Out” cycle.

Hmmm. It’s starting to sound like I’ll be having two slices of lightly buttered bread – not exactly what I anticipated from a second term. But the real world so seldom measures up to our expectations!

Maybe I’ll just eat an extra-large breakfast.

Your Congressman,
Loomis Beechly

What’s your favorite sandwich?

53 thoughts on “Pompous Circumstances”

  1. loomis we love you. you are the human element we all miss in the bravado of the political eistance. there was a special on public television yesterday that did a bio on paul welstone, then walter mondale then eugene mccarthy then hubert humphrey . we are lucky to have such wonderful examples of human politicians.(i had to divo the last two with football for the last weekend this year) i like dayton too. i think the bio on jesse ventura would make me throw up and tim pawlenty would have to find something to say. not much there. they mentioned normy coleman in the mondale bio and how mondale took advantage of the opportunism that was coleman and how coleman didnt stand for anything more than the wind direction of the moment. a perfect eample of how to be a schmuck. then we get around to sandwich choice.
    i have a couple veggie sausages in the freezer i pull out every now and again. i nuke em and get out some cheese usually a provolone and some sharp cheddar if im lucky i will have some smoked gouda, brie and mozzarella in the cheese drawer, top it with brown mustard mayo and maybe some durkees if i have it. as long as im writing up my favorite sandwhich i amy as well broil it on an open face just long enough to melt the chees and starta browning on the top while it sits atop two slices of caraway rye. a couple crisp leaves of romaine and a fry at 7 am and istful of those loud kettle chips congressman beachley held off on. im hungry at 7 am. thanks loomis.

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    1. Broiled open faced sandwiches are an old favorite of mine that I haven’t had lately. I like a slice of tomato on top of mine because broiling seems to greatly enhance the flavor of tomatoes.

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        1. yes, but do not under any circumstances leave the kitchen once you have turned on the broiler-like I did last night with the flatbread/tomato/pepper pizza-type item….

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  2. Good morning. If I am eating at home and making my own sandwich, I usually have a grilled cheese sandwich, It is easy to make and very satisfying. Often, I make one of these for myself when I am at home alone for lunch. We have a small cast iron frying pan that is just the right size to make one sandwich. Frequently we have sliced cheese in the fridge and I always use two slices. The cheese goes between two slices of bread and butter is spread on the outer sides of the bread. Then the sandwich goes into the heated pan and comes out when both sides have been cooked to a golden brown color.

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  3. In the summer, I love to make a really messy sandwich that involves good whole wheat bread (the grainier the better) with mayo on one side, good mustard on the other (just like the bread, the grainier the better). Inside, lettuce from the garden, sliced tomato, sliced avocado and thinly sliced, oh-so-precious 12-year-old extra sharp cheddar.

    In winter, plain ol’ whole wheat bread with mayo, Velveeta and bread and butter pickles (if you’re packing this, pack the pickles separately and add at the last possible moment, so as not so sog up the bread). A frozen can of ginger ale and a slice of fruitcake and you will make it all the way from western Iowa to Belle Plaine, MN satisfied, but still hungry for Christmas dinner.

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  4. The sandwich I grew up on (in several senses of that phrase) was peanut butter and honey. I had that three times a day one year when I was especially impoverished and one of my housemates brought in free bread each day from the bakery where he worked.

    My current favorite is what I just had for breakfast. Pita bread. A generous slice of turkey ham (it is essentially a chunk of mildly flavored turkey breast meat). Then I pack the sandwich with as much tangy tabouli as I can fit in the pita around the turkey. Mmmm, mmm!

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      1. Fago cousins called a peanut butter and banana a skipbana skibananut withskippy chunky peanut butter.
        Picked up a hitchhiker in California once who raised bees and taught me toput the peanut utter in a glob and pour the honey into the glob then mix it and spread rather than doing one than the other. Doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is

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  6. My current favorite is a spicy black bean burger with basil pesto, thinly sliced tomatoes and provolone cheese on one of those little thin wheat buns. I like to have it with a nice Greek salad. Today I’m thinking that grilled cheese and tomato soup sounds good!

    The blog is making me hungry lately!

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  7. I love the black bean burger
    Made myself so hungry I breakfasted outmy sandwich and did the sausages wit fried eggs and provolone mayo and looking for chili sauce settled for salsa on ciabatta bread. Indeed a nap now… Went to look for chili sauce recipes and am once again at goodie blogs regarding stuff like this. Got a recap of a two year thread of a guy (rude as hell) looking for a green chili recipe from his favorite haunts indenver area. 50 people responded with good ideas. I love foodies.

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        1. I hope that meets with your approval, Steve. If it’s any consolation, I’m not fond of peanut butter anything.

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        3. IIRC, peanut butter is eschewed by many Europeans, as it has unpleasant post-war associations (not that you are old enough for that, PJ).

          This reminds me of a story told by a friend whose dad was in law school when she and her 2 sisters were quite small. Money was very tight, and so for supper, some time after the extravagance of Sunday pot roast, they would have “gravy bread”-white bread topped with brown gravy. Years later, when her dad was a practicing lawyer, she remembered this supper fondly and asked her mom why they no longer had that.

          Her mother was appalled.

          One person’s deprivation is another’s treasured childhood memory.

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    3. Mmmmm, grilled tuna salad with cheese. Another favorite is turkey salad with craisins and walnuts.

      Wonder why most of my favorite sandwiches tend to involve stuff gushing out all over the place, making a fork or spoon necessary.

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    4. Linda, you read my mind! BLT (with late summer tomatoes) and egg salad (with dill, horseradish and bacon) — all on a very nutty, crunchy dark bread — are two of my top three 🙂 We have a little gadget, the panini maker, which makes a melted turkey/cheese/avocado/stone ground mustard sandwich to die for, with these toasty stripes up and down the bread that somehow make it taste all the more warm and comforting. I’m all with Nigel Slater and Mr Toad — there’s nothing like a good piece of plain toast with lots of butter melted on it. And maybe a touch of marmalade. This subzero weather really whets the appetite, doesn’t it?

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  10. Morning–
    Ten below here this morning. I think it’s warmed up to only 5 or 6 below.
    All the birds on the feeders are sure puffy today.

    I’m just a plain PB&J type guy. Grape jelly of course.
    We have used ‘Home Pride’ wheat bread for years and years. We got it at the Hostess Outlet store but I didn’t know it was a Hostess subsidiary so when they closed we had to find a new bread. And I didn’t realize how many types of bread there was in the grocery store aisle! So we’re taking the opportunity to try some different breads. I don’t like it too grainy though.

    Now, my all time favorite sandwich would be open faced, crunchy peanut butter, covered with Miracle whip and sprinkled w/ mini chocolate chips. Boy, those are good. About a zillion calories and I think you age 10 days / sandwich, but they are good! I’ve made the same thing on Ritz crackers for family functions. They are a little more tolerable that way.

    And of course Spam Burgers (Fox burgers in Kitchen Congress).

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  11. Since I hate cheese, I don’t belong in this discussion. My daughter and I just love gyros sandwiches (known in some cultures as “shawirma”). We took on the task of comparing those from several outlets in the Twin Cities. As far as I know, the very best such sandwiches are found at the Holy Land Bakery in NE Mpls.

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  12. I am such a sap for lofty emotion. I’ve just watched the inaugural celebrations. And this old lefty radical was weeping at the national anthem and cheering many points of the speeches. I never expected to say it, but this is a day to be proud to be an American. Sniff.

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  13. Many of you have mentioned my favorites, so I’ll try something different – homemade Boston brown bread (baked in a 2-lb. coffee can or the like) slathered with some soft creamy cheese.

    …and “chicken gumbo burgers” as sloppy joes… and my dad’s fried egg sandwich (both now on wheat, but in my childhood, bread that’s white as the driven snow).

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    1. any sort of sweet nut bread with a goodish layer of cream cheese is a fine thing! and you are right it is just that much better if you have round bread.

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    2. Oh, yes, Barbara! My Grandma Fulmer used to make steamed Boston brown bread in tomato cans. Lots of raisins and molasses. I just found her recipe last week when I “organized” my recipe books. Favorite sandwiches/foods really evoke the childhood memories, don’t they?

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  14. Morning all… actually I guess it’s afternoon by now. My oh my.

    Favorite sandwich depends on the day and the ingregients on hand.

    I love a good black bean burger or veggie burger, but only if I have really good tomatoes, then add some cheese, lettuce, onion and pickles. Catsup/ketchup & mustard.

    On a really really cold day, the grilled cheese is a top choice… with mustard. And if the tomato is really tomato-tasting, then add a slice of tomato.

    Comfort sandwich. Peanut butter and Miracle Whip. What I grew up with!

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  15. As a kid my favorite was bologna and butter on white bread, preferably in a small paper lunch bag that gave it a certain aroma. My tastes have matured, and these days i love all sorts of sandwiches expect I don’t like anything with peanut butter and I don’t like egg salad.

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  16. The height of decadence, I believe, is the Croque Monsieur – “classic French grilled ham-and-cheese sandwich, topped with cheese sauce and passed under a broiler until it’s golden brown and bubbling.” This is taken from last Thursday’s Strib Taste section, the “Oniony Three-Cheese Croque-Monsieur” (carmelized onions). Makes Jim’s grilled cheese and some others mentioned above sound positively healthy!

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    1. Barbara, when it’s wind chill -50 F, I’ll gladly scarf down anything cheesy, anything melty. Oniony TRIPLE cheesy melty sounds like heaven tonight.

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