Sucky Business

We finally caved in to a virtual wind tunnel of consumer desire and bought a new vacuum cleaner.

The old one, a central vacuum with a motor and canister mounted on the basement wall, boasted a 25 foot long hose patched with duct tape. The power head resembled a dancing skeleton from a Halloween cartoon – random parts would spontaneously detach in mid-sweep and go flying across the room. It was an irritating tendency to deal with, on top of the challenge of vacuuming the house, which was already irritating.

vacuum

The good news – since bringing the new equipment home I’ve been vacuuming more. Yes, cleaning takes time away from thinking and accomplishing and relaxing. But there is an irresistible temptation to break out fresh weapons in the war against dirt. Why build a billion dollar fighter jet if you’re not going to deploy it?

The bad news – in the two decades that have passed since purchasing the previous vacuum, the industry’s hardware has largely gone over to plastic. Even the wand, formerly a polished, chrome-plated metal tube, has become an extruded, static-charged plasti-pipe that attracts and holds dog hair.

Not a glamourous look to go wandering around the house with more fur stuck to the outside of the cleaner than there is stuffed in the bag. But then you usually don’t bring the vacuum out when you’re trying to impress people with your refinement.

I must confess I am suffering a little bit of appliance regret. But let’s keep that a secret because I don’t want to be subjected to the kind of unrestrained marketing blitz today’s vacuum industry can mount. The door-to-door vacuum salesman was never a welcome visitor, and he is certainly less so today. Besides, this messy business is best done online. And looking around the internet I have discovered there are plenty of white hot opinions available when it comes to brands, designs and methods. It used to be Hoover was the only vacuum brand name out in the public square. Now we’ve got Dyson, Meile, ElectroLux, Eureka, and Riccar, just to name a clump.

An unsightly clump that we can dispose of quickly with the handy brush attachment!

Lately, it seems like there is always another genius stepping forward who was bright enough to break all the rules to create a lightweight but powerful vacuum that does what all the others cannot! For example, this one turns your floor crud into easy-to-dispose-of bricks.

If this is so brilliant, how come nobody thought of it before? We were too busy cleaning!

What’s your favorite household appliance?

116 thoughts on “Sucky Business”

  1. My little space heater, beyond a doubt, is my most essential appliance. Every few years, a heater dies – usually throwing off sparks and smoke first. Within five minutes, I’m out the door to Target to replace it. I had a guest here on Sunday who wanted to sit in my living room. After an hour or so, I was chilled to the bone and had to relocate into the den with my heater. This leaky old cottage would cost a fortune to heat, so I keep the temp set at 60. Because I run the heater about 17 hours a day, my monthly budget electric bill tops out at $120, so any money I save from the gas furnace is obviously eaten up by this little heater. Still, the white noise, the intense spot heat, and the sheer comfort it provides is worth it.

    Like

  2. Good morning. Does a lap top computer computer count as an appliance? I think that would be my favorite if it counts. It seems like a household appliance and not office equipment because it is portable and is used in so many different ways, unlike the old office computer that only did a few things.

    Like

  3. My wife

    She is the woman who lives for the latest greatest appliance then she uses it daily
    There are no closet appliances in my house
    She wanted a carpet shampooer not the one the sell in the stores not the wimpy o e the rent at ace but the industrial commercial version they sell to the professional carpet cleaners or the world I believe she has used it every day for the last 2 years. Dyson vac gets used daily and then some washer and dryer get loaded up daily dishwasher duh it broke any good lord….
    Her favorite tool is her right foot. Wet down the rag wipe the floor and try to remember not to do the counters after the floor with the same rag. It’s not a cleaning mission it’s an obsession. My mom says no one at my house ever gets sick just because of the exposure to germs we all get. The cleaning rags are the most uniform shade of gray unless they started out something other the. White he. The tie dye effect from exposure to chlorine is evident and impressive. First day of spring tomorrow puts window washing and window will repai ringtone the agenda along with hosta division but for now who needs palates when you can excersize with kitchen towels?

    Like

  4. Greetings! I love my Vitamix blender — it’s basically a high powered blender on steroids. I use it almost daily for my smoothies as it will turn huge chunks of frozen fruit and tiny chia seeds into a beautifully smooth, seamless puree in a few seconds, along with other tasks. My next favorite appliance is my HE washer — truly a wonder of technology.

    Like

    1. We don’t have a Vitamix, but we do have a Kitchen Aid mixer. If you don’t count lap top computers as appliances, the Kitchen Aid mixer is our favorite appliance. It is used for all kinds of mixing including kneading bread and has attachments for making ice cream that are used regularly. Of course, it can’t make smoothies like a Vitamix.

      Like

    2. One of my bookgroup people brought a carrot dip to our last meeting that she’d made in her Vitamix – I can see why you like it, Joanne.

      Like

  5. My Dad sold Sunbeam appliances for his entire working life. We had samples of everything in our house from electric toothbrushes to electric snowblowers. My favorite is the toaster. I used to make faces in it at the breakfast table. This drove Mom nuts so she turned the toaster so that I could not see my face.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AokVRWspeN0

    Like

  6. A silver-scaled dragon with jaws flaming red
    sits at my elbow and toasts my bread.
    I hand him fat slices, then one by one
    he hands them back when he sees they are done.”

    William Jay Smith

    Like

    1. Timing Toast

      There’s an art to doing it.
      Never try to guess.
      Toast until it burns,
      Then twenty seconds less.

      Piet Hein

      Like

  7. At last, an easy question I can answer without even thinking about it. My beautiful Sunbeam T-20B Radiant Control Automatic Toaster. Older than I am, wedding gift to my parents, then passed on to me as “the old toaster” when I got my first apartment..

    I have lost count of how many toasters my folks have gone through since, each one more plastic-y than the last, while the excellence of my chrome plated, respectable bit of 1950’s technology serenely continues to bring the British bit of comfort that is hot buttered toast to my mornings.

    The advanced technology that is the Radiant Control Automatic Toaster means you simply drop in the bread, and the toaster automatically glides the bread down into the heating element, gliding it back up as beautiful, satisfying toast. It is just like P.G. Wodehouse’s description of Jeeves “shimmering” into the room.

    From time to time, a bit of crumb gets where into a place that inhibits the mechanism, at which point a simple Phillips screwdriver can be employed to remove the housing and solve the problem. This last time, I did something not right, and so our dear, faithful toaster is in rehab until I can find a chunk of hours to meditatively sort it out, and life can return to normal.

    Of course, I suppose I could always buy a replacement on eBay:
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/VINTAGE-SUNBEAM-T-20B-RADIANT-CONTROL-AUTOMATIC-TOASTER-CHROME-DECO-/111028086428?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19d9ca269c

    Like

      1. It will happen, but one needs to not rush the process and go about it calmly-it’s a pardoxical situation, because a nice slice of toast would go a long way to putting me in the proper state-of-mind for the task 😉

        Like

    1. Our toaster of record is also a vintage Sunbeam, though ours is a T-35. Still the classic 1950s look and technology, with the heavy chrome exterior and the Sunbeam logo on the side in cast brass. I used to collect vintage toasters and at one time had about thirty, including many Toastmasters (made in Minneapolis) going back to the very first automatic models and various models of the Sunbeam. For elegance, you can’t beat the Sunbeam, though the automatic mechanism can be a little quirky until you get used to it.
      In my experience, when they stop working, it’s almost always due to toast residue building up, like varnish, on the lever that swings over when you drop toast into the single slice slot and makes the electrical contact. This can be remedied with fine sandpaper.
      Most of my toaster collection has been deaccessioned; it took up just too much room.

      Like

      1. re the quirky-ness of the mechanism:
        I still remember going to Grandma’s and putting the bread in the toaster, and it just SAT THERE! I tried boucing it with my hand, nothing.

        That was when I learned what impoverished lives were led by those not fortunate enough to have their toast made the Radient Control Automatic way, like modern people.

        Like

        1. Exactly! Whenever I’ve given reconditioned Sunbeams to friends, I’ve always made a point to give them a toasting tutorial as well.

          Like

        2. I have fallen so far in life it is hard to contemplate, but nobody has ever had to give me a “tutorial” in operating a toaster.

          Like

        1. A toaster wall was actually something I considered, but against the other possible wall treatments, relentless toasters didn’t make the cut.

          Like

  8. The vacuum runs across the floor,
    Leaving things that were there before.
    But she feels good to her it suck.
    Using it is like driving a truck.

    Salesman came not with insanity.
    He saw all the symbols of Chritisanity.
    A reformed atheist he was at once
    She bought the vacuum like a dunce.

    He said it would be good for her back.
    If she uses it, you hear her back crack.
    You will have to forgiver my rancor.
    We now own an expensive Kirby boat anchor.

    Like

    1. Wonderful, Clyde — you’re in top form today. We also have a Silver Queen vacuum cleaner and two air cleaner units bought from a door-to-door salesman. My husband just had to have it and it does work amazingly well. But yeah — we’re suckers, too.

      Like

  9. Lots of money for it we paid
    But we do love our Kitchenaid.
    Whatever we are making or fixing,
    It is the perfect thing for the mixing.

    You cannot help but look,
    When mixing bread with the dough hook.
    If I were not gluten-free,
    For a pasta-maker we would pay the fee.

    Like

        1. Sounds like the voice of experience. Cleaning too sticky dough out of a pasta maker sounds like something you’d have to do in a particularly nasty circle of Hell.

          Like

        2. I can handle store-bought GF pizza but the pasta is too mushy and bland or sour or something. Lots of pizza places around here are offering GF pizza. I have yet to try any of them. I find it easier just to eat other things. But I did try making GF pasta with my hand-operated maker.

          Like

  10. Alton Brown, the master of master
    Allows himself few single-taskers.
    We keep, from our son a gift, the rice cooker,
    but we threw away the salad shooter.
    A dumb gift, far from a a winner,
    was the space-taking lettuce spinner.
    One thing I do use a lot,
    Is the electric water pot.

    Does anyone know where I can find,
    (My very sore back has brought this to mind)
    An appliance that will kill the pain,
    So I can clean and bike again?

    Like

    1. When Teenager was younger, we converted the salad spinner into a spin art device. Put paper plates in the bottom, squirted paint onto the plate, put the lid on and spun away. For a couple of years, we had dozens of spin art plates all over the place!

      Like

    2. i hear they used to call it sparky
      and i dont that is all mularky
      a chair that takes away the pain
      but you wont be biking again

      the nickname for the arkansas chair
      for murders who were set in there
      old sparky where they all got aimed toward
      there it was they got their just reward

      old sparky made for death row rhymes
      used here on earth 104 times
      so watch out what you wish for clyde
      how bad is it really not to ride

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Sparky

      Like

  11. Two prose comments, then I will lapse back into pain-filled silence.
    I love the little plunge mixer, or whateveryoucallit. Emeril calls it an outboard motor. My wife has to take a coarse powdered medicine every day. So I mix it with peaches and strawberry jam (two things that do not make her sick). That tool works beautifully and is quick and simple. I also use it to puree my tomato soup.
    Both of our apartments have the small stacked washer and dryer. It is perfect, just the right size for two people. It sits right in the middle this apartment. So quick and easy. And small loads are what we generate.

    Like

    1. I also like the mixer you mentioned, Clyde. Before we got that mixer we had to use a blender if we needed to turn something chunky into something smooth. Now we just blend up chunky stuff by putting that mixer into the pan that we use to cook the chunky item. Using a plunge mixer in place of a blender eliminates the tedious work needed to clean the many parts of the blender. Our favorite soup is potato leek soup which is much easier to make now we don’t have to put it into a blender to make it creamy.

      Like

      1. My first response was also the immersion blender I received for Christmas. I used it for a huge batch of Senegalese Peanut soup last night and it is SUCH a huge improvement over the multiple-batches-in-the-blender approach.

        Like

    2. Immersion blender would be one of my favorite appliances – if I had one, that is. I am coveting one badly. Any recommendations for brands (preferably not the most expensive brand)?

      Like

      1. Edith, I’ve had two. I got rid of the first one because of the cord which I found to be nuisance, mainly because I don’t have an outlet close enough to the stove so that I could use it there. Having to transfer a heavy pot of hot liquid to be able to use it was pain. My current, cordless one is a Cuisinart and it works great. It’ll work even better when I get Hans to mount it on the wall next to the stove.

        Like

        1. Thanks, PJ. Cordless does sound like it would be handy – I imagine that I would be dipping the cord in the soup (and pulverizing it) if I bought one with a cord.

          Like

        2. Edith, Amazon.com sells a ton of these. Many sell from $30 to $40, but they have a Procter Silex model that people rate well that sells for $15.

          Like

  12. When the Great Depression hit Iowa, my grandfather lost his job as a linotype operator with the newspaper. He remained unemployed until he became a door-to-door salesman for Hoover upright vacuums. The company equipped him with a little jar of colored sand. He rolled the Hoover up and down the streets of his little town, looking for a housewife who would let him demonstrate the Hoover. He’d dump the sand on a carpet and then suck it down with the Hoover. In seven months of this, he sold two Hoovers.

    I am not on intimate emotional terms with any of my appliances except possibly my Braun immersion blender, an indispensable aid to anyone who adores soup.

    Like

  13. Dale, don’t forget Kirby vacuums…still my Dad’s favorite. One time, as I was helping Dad put new black plastic down under the deck, he had to get a shop vac and vacuum up the birdseed hulls before we put down the new plastic. Yes, my Dad once vacuumed dirt because it was too dirty.

    Like

  14. Like vs, I have a hard time paring it down to just one. I know which one is NOT my favorite, and that would be my vacuum cleaner. I’m with Roseanne Barr on vacuums, when they make one that I can ride like a lawnmower, that’s when I’ll enjoy vacuuming! With Daisy in the house, that’s a bit of a problem, our house is becoming more and more hairy.

    I’m waiting, Linda, surely there’s a report forthcoming on your Robostir, no?

    Like

    1. What I really want is one of those little robots that vacuums on it’s own. I worry though that the white fur on my big ole Samoyed would probably kill the little robot the first day!

      Like

      1. I’d love to try one of those little robots, but I have a hunch that it would not do well in my environment. We don’t have wall-to-wall carpeting, but rather oriental rugs in various places. Don’t know how well it would negotiate all those fringes.

        Like

        1. I remember her saying she had to vacuum a room before turning the robo-broom thing loose in it. It was sort of slow and didn’t suck well.

          Like

  15. Hello, I am Renee and I am appliance dependent. I love our Little green carpet cleaner, the Viking mixer, our cuisenart food processer, the miniprep food chopper, the French press coffee maker, the electric spice grinder, the electric pressure cooker, and our Dualit toaster. I have never had good luck with vacuums. Any baboons have any experience with electric litter boxes?

    Like

    1. I guess I should fess up too. My Cuisinart food processor, electric pressure cooker, Breville juicer, Vitamix blender, electric kettle, and immersion blender all get used far more than any cleaning implement I own. That’s not to mention the Kitchen Aid stand mixer, crockpot, and microwave oven that just take up space most of the time. All of which would be fine if my kitchen were designed for all of this, but it’s not. There are four, count ’em, four doors leading into and out of the kitchen, precious space that could have created some really nice space for cabinets. For all the charms of an old house, I sure would love a modern kitchen. Sigh. I also have a salad spinner, but I don’t count that as an appliance since it’s not electric; it’s one of my favorite kitchen tools besides my knives.

      Like

      1. I’m another one who makes extensive use of a salad spinner. I don’t trust those pre washed bags of salad greens. I always go to the work of washing the greens in those bags and getting them dry again using the spinner before making a salad.

        Like

        1. Do you swing the pillow case around your head, or do you just spin yourself and the pilow case until you get dizzy? If a police officer saw you do the latter, he or she might arrest you for public intoxication.

          Like

        2. Where did you learn to spin your greens in that manner, Edith? I have never heard of doing that.

          Like

        3. This is in response to Renee, but WordPress won’t let me do that directly:

          I think we now know how Edith landed “inside”.

          Like

        4. I just spin the pillowcase, not myself. Good guess on how I landed “inside,” but it’s still a deep, dark secret.

          Jim, I don’t remember where I learned this. Maybe it was because when I did KP duty in the big house, we didn’t have salad spinners, but we had pillowcases. Just kidding. All I know is that I read it somewhere.

          Here’s a tutorial on how to spin your salad greens with a pillowcase. http://lifehacker.com/5884345/use-a-pillowcase-to-dry-lettuce-without-a-salad-spinner

          Like

        5. Spinning the salad greens in that manner is all good and well when the temperatures are balmy outside. The idea of having to don shoes, coat, hat and mittens in order try dry my salad greens would seriously diminish the number of times we eat fresh salads. Besides, I find the salad spinner very handy for washing the greens and all sorts of other stuff as well. I consider it a kitchen gadget I wouldn’t want to live without.

          Like

        6. Being born and raised in Minnesota, PJ, it doesn’t scare me to step outside for a minute or so in almost any weather. I don’t bundle up since I’m just standing on the back porch. However, taking out the compost in the dead of winter does require more bundling up – and often doesn’t get done because of it.

          Like

  16. I love my rice cooker (stainless steel, bought it from PJ) – it’s so nice to just add water, turn it on, and not worry about it. And since it’s just two of us, I can make many things in my toaster oven – have found some baking dishes that just fit in it.

    But I think my favorite is the Omega Juicer, which we use in the fall to juice the apples into “cider” – nothing better than a nice fall day out back on the picnic table. It is sort of labor intensive, you have to keep emptying the pulp out of the basket… but it makes the best juice.

    Like

      1. I’ll pass – I am perfectly capable of scorching rice (and many other things) without acquiring a special appliance with which to do it.

        Like

  17. I feel that sentimentality has caused me to be remiss in failing to mention our faithful crockpot-the old green one with the ivy trim painted on-church basement diners, you know the one I mean.

    With the demise of our late and not really lamented (except when we want Friday morning scones and now cannot bake them, yes, you heard that right), we have come to rely on the crockpot for all cooked things that are neither boiled nor sauteed.

    It has been used to the point where I no longer would feel right taking it to the church basement. The ridiculous plastic lid is almost cracked all the way through, and is now only used when we bake bread or steamed pudding type cakes in it. For all soups and stews, we use the lid from our cast iron skillet, works very well.

    thank you, crockpot. Without you, we would surely starve.

    Like

      1. I think I remember earlier post that the oven is currently ka-put, so they are not baking, but cooking things in the crockpot instead….

        Like

      2. You can bake some things in a crockpot. Bread pudding is very convenient to make that way. I have a chocolate bread pudding recipe that I cook for about four hours and it makes the whole downstairs smell like chocolate.

        Like

  18. Wasband and I entered one of those “contests” at the State Fair where the real purpose is to get live prospects (we were rather young and naive). An interesting young man, originally from Russia and not long here, came out to do the hard sell on a Rainbow vacuum. There are no bags; the air it pulls in shoots the debris into a water filled container. The dirt is held by the water. The salesman touted the HEPA-like filtering qualities and showed how it would pick up stuff left behind by our old vac.
    It was quite expensive but he said it would last longer than the other short-lived vacs out there and that we would save SO much money by not having to buy bags.
    It has lasted (just needed replacement of beater bar components) but after purchase, I realized that it was silly to be excited by the HEPA qualities when our frequency of vacuuming proved that our concern for fine (or even great) particulates was pretty low.
    Post-dog, post-wasband and post-sons, I have become even more lax about vacuuming so it will last even longer.

    Like

    1. At one point in my life my favorite appliance was a Miracle Mop I bought at the State Fair from a guy with a microphone attached to his head. At the time I had an old dog and puppy, and both were peeing on my floor daily. The dogs are now gone and I don’t need a miraculous mop any more.

      Like

      1. I remember those Miracle Mops, I think I even have owned one at some point, but I can’t imagine EVER claiming a cleaning tool a favorite appliance…except possibly my Sonicare toothbrush.

        Like

  19. Completely OT, but this just in.

    We go to the AHS this afternoon to pick up our first foster, a 4-month-old Bagle puppy.

    If you don’t hear from me again, you will know that the s&h has had me committed. His idea of a household pet is an adult, attitudinous, independent cat. I think he is in for a nice surprise.

    Like

      1. It’s my impression that this particular group of baboons harbors and awful lot of obscure information for some inexplicable reason.

        Like

  20. OK, since others have mentioned multiples, here I go. I’ll try to put them in some semblance of order:

    My KitchenAid mixer. 39 years old and still going strong.
    My Pampered Chef apple peeler. It’s the best out there.
    Immersion blender — really what DID we do before these?
    Smoothie maker – not sure of the brand, but this gets used almost daily at our house
    Vidalia chopper — this is the best when you have a lot of stuff to chop
    Bread machine (I actually have two)
    Ice cream freezer (I have two of these as well)

    Of course, I have lots and lots more, but these are my favs. Notice that NONE of these have anything to do with cleaning???

    Like

    1. That’s last fact is to your credit, vs. Id’ be seriously concerned for anyone whose favorite appliance is one for cleaning.

      Like

  21. I have a bread machine as well, it’s used mainly as a door stop. Anyone in the market for a brand new, never used oil-free turkey fryer? I thought not!

    Like

      1. I keep thinking that one of these days I’ll use it. I’ve only had it 10 years or so, and have used it exact twice, and I wasn’t impressed with the bread either time.

        Like

        1. I’ll have to send you my oatmeal bread recipe for the bread machine. It’s my fav.

          Like

        2. Please do, vs. Do you use mixes or do you make stuff from scratch? Any hints would be great, thanks.

          Like

        3. I do mostly from scratch — I have a couple of bread machine cookbooks (OK, who am I kidding, I have six). Occasionally if I have a good coupon or if I know I’m going to be really short on time, I do get a box. If I get a box, I try for Krusteaz.

          Like

        4. bill, you’d be a a great candidate for a product focus group, you pay attention to things that slide right by me.

          Like

  22. Evening–
    I don’t understand the toaster thing MIG. All toasters go down and pop it up again, don’t they? What am I missing.
    I don’t drink coffee, but I was still fascinated with Mom and Dad’s percolator.

    My favorite appliance would be our Dyson hand vac. Cool look, great suck, and just feels right.
    Oh, and LED light bulbs. They’re kinda geeky sexy… Well, to me, I mean.

    In other news, we’re headed out of town. Can’t take the snow anymore. Going to a wedding. Will fill you in later.

    Like

      1. Yes, no belt. Mind you, they’re not cheap, but I’ve had my share of dust busters and Sharks and other cordless vacs and this is so far out in front of them they’re not even in the same dust cloud.

        Like

    1. Now I’m worried about you, Ben, a vacuum as your favorite appliance? I’ll attribute it to cabin fever. Get the heck out of town until this passes.

      Like

  23. Hamilton Beach stand mixer, probably dates to the 40’s or so. Bought it at a garage sale because it was just like the one my mother had while I was growing up.

    Trusty old Norelco Dial-A-Brew coffeemaker. A French press is nice, but for day-to-day use I appreciate the simplicity of cleaning an automatic drip machine and disposing of the wet grounds.

    Rival crockpot, of a similar vintage as mig’s, that has produced countless batches of chili and stroganoff, and the occasional chocolate bread pudding.

    Toastmaster breadmaker.

    My pal Richard the Robostir, whose praises I’ve sung here before.

    And the newest member of my appliance family, a Waring Pro toaster oven. It was an outstanding buy – on sale for $40 with a $20 rebate. In the past I’ve had a number of small rectangular toaster ovens, but this one has a square baking chamber which has just enough room for a 9-inch pie plate. I can bake actual pies in it! It features a mechanical timer which has a lovely ring (sort of like those metal bells you ring to get a clerk’s attention) instead of the electronic beep most appliances feature these days. I will have to be extra careful with this one. I have a history of starting toaster oven fires by carelessly letting stuff drip onto the heating element. But that’s not going to happen to this one. No sirree. This one’s a keeper.

    I have had a series of failed relationships with various dustbusters. I keep falling for the allure of something cordless, but they don’t last. The battery fails and can’t be replaced, so you have to pitch the whole thing. But I’ve had my heart broken by Black & Decker for the last time. Never again. I’ll do my vaccuming with a cord from now on.

    Like

Leave a comment