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Ask Dr. Babooner

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We are ALL Dr. Babooner
We are ALL Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr. Babooner,

Not long ago my father died and left me an entire country to play with. I had a distant relationship with the old man (he was a tyrant) and frankly I would be happier today had he dumped his nation-thing on someone else before kicking the bucket. But it was too important for him to ever let go – I guess being adored by millions of bootlickers is the kind of thing a guy just gets used to.

From my perspective, being the new “Dear Leader” is not much fun. My time is all spoken for and fawning minions tend to grate on my nerves. Plus, while people are oh-so-nice and always complimentary to my face, people in other nations make fun of me, call me a maniac, a warmonger and a thin-skinned little boy. But I’m NOT a little boy! I’m NOT!

I wish I could punish them for saying that!

So lately I’ve been acting all irrational and threatening.

What I want is respect, but I know I’m never going to get that in words. I figure the best I can hope for is a little indulgence – some sign from my critics that I might be a dangerous man. At least as dangerous as my father with some “shock and awe” potential – like a crazy sundae with an extra helping of nuts. If I could get an appropriate response – something like going to Defcon 2 status – I’d back down and everyone could go back to the things they’re really interested in.

For me, I’d like to own a basketball team. Yeah, that’s what I’d really like to do.

Anyway, right now I’m not getting the reaction I want and people are acting like I’m bluffing. But I don’t think I am.

I’ve never played poker, but should I fold my hand or bet the farm?

Sincerely,
Daddy’s Boy

I told Daddy’s Boy that when you are trying to prove you are dangerous it is important to know whether you are bluffing or not. If you only THINK you’re not bluffing, you probably are. But if you’re bluffing and you don’t know it, you’re deluded. And self-delusion is dangerous. And if your delusion makes you dangerous, then that means you’re not bluffing.

Sigh.

Things start to get complicated very quickly when you care too much about what others think of you.
But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

27 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Morning all. Daddy’s boy really needs to get over himself. Especially since there doesn’t seem to be anybody on the planet who wants to play on his team. As the mother of the Teenager, I spent a lot of time saying this. It’s so hard at her age to understand how little time other people are really spending thinking about her.

    We’re off on a day trip to see the last college today…. have fun!

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    1. We’re off on a trip too, but sort of the the other way, metaphorically speaking: Grandparents’ Day for our two current grandchildren.

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    2. Good luck with the college search. Making the final decision will be a real relie for both of you. We are off on a trip, too. We are going to Fargo for the weekend, since it is prom weekend and daughter isn’t going to prom (she just wasn’t interested in spending the money), and she just wants to get out of town. She wants to get some Concordia gear while we are there. She is really ready to be done with high school, and is sort of fed up with all the paraphenalia and hugaboo that goes with a senior year. She doesn’t even want to get a year book. Her focus now is a trip to Winnipeg she is taking in July with her best friend.

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      2. I still remember feeling bad that I just did not care about graduation day, I just wanted to get to college. So many girls weeping as if their hearts would break. Most of them never left town and married the guys they had been dating that summer, so not entirely sure what the great sorrow was.

        Come to think of it maybe I do know…….

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  2. good morning. Okay, Daddy’s boy. I think it is time for you to think about the kind of people you are trying to bluff in this big card game. You could show the world and your people that are not as dumb as you are portrayed. Those people you are playing with are not exactly the best at playing this card,just like you. Think of all dumb things they have done. It is time for you to get out of the card game because those guys you are playing with are dangerous and might do something really stupid. If you got out of the game it would show us all that you are smart enough to not play games with dangerous people who don’t have a good record of doing the right thing themselves.

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  3. DB, If you really want people to think well of you, there are lors of things you could do to enshrine yourself in history in a positive way. Make a dramatic gesture to rid yourself of all nuclear weapons. Open up your borders with the south and make sure everybody has enough to eat. Do these things and you might even win a Nobel Prize.

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    1. Yes, DB, it would be a very good thing if you would set a very good example for other countries, including the one I live in, if you got rid of your nuclear weapons and made sure that no one went hungry.

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  4. Thanks for this, Dale – “Things start to get complicated very quickly when you care too much about what others think of you.” About this little piece of wisdom, volumes could be written. Will think more and be back later.

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  6. Maybe you could follow Nixon’s example if you are tired of getting bad press. You could just decide to stop being a public figure and let the world know that they will not have you to kick around any more. I think Nixon made a come back after he made that statement, but you should remember that his career didn’t end well. You might want to end your public career for good right now and avoid risking a bad ending to your efforts to lead your country.

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    1. I’m going. I won’t be arriving any too early because I have to be covering phone support for work until a bit after 7:00. If you could save a seat, that would be groovy but if people start to get snarky, nevermind.

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      1. Sure, I’ll try to save you a seat. I am aiming to get there around 7:00. I will try to sit on the left side (hopefully I don’t need to wear a baboon sign or anything for you to find me…). There’s an opening “act,” so hopefully you won’t miss any of Bok himself. Hope to see you then.

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        1. Are you both aware that the concert has been moved into the sanctuary rather than the room where it was originally scheduled? A sign of good attendance. Have a great time.

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        3. They just about filled the sanctuary. It was a good concert in spite of the fact that he seemed to have a cold and some trouble recalling lyrics. He had a very sympathetic audience at least 90% of whom were within 10 years of his age. What a voice! And he has such interesting first hand knowledge of the ocean/ship/boat world.
          Ann thanked people like you, PJ, who helped get out the word.

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  9. Where Obama would never squash you like a bug for being a twit if you push it to the point where the world wants you out of power for shooting off billion dollar rockets at them while your people starve to death he may get to work with an exit strategy in mind on how you take the power away from the guy who makes moe’s haircut look good and hasthe social grace of Hannibal lector while he postures for showing those right wing nut jobs how America is supposed to do war instead of w’s swagger we could see how messing with Mother Nature can come back to whack you up side the head. C’mon bad boy keep it up and you will find yourself put of a job before you know it.

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