Poems

Lone Winner Haiku

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It appears there is just one winner in the stunningly huge Powerball drawing from Saturday night. Someone in Florida has to fess up that they are ready to be both the most envied and most reviled individual in America as everyone else’s jealousy and greed collide to focus on one person.

haiku-crane

How could anyone properly prepare for the Giant Paper Check Press Conference, where reporters pepper the winner with a litany of “what next” questions? The surprised and freshly minted tycoons are always so cheerful at this most public moment, but afterwards things tend to go off the rails as relatives clash for control of the windfall and an excessive amount of media scrutiny exposes a host of personal weaknesses.

It often ends badly.

What if the winner this time decides to start out with sadness and regret? Perhaps an acknowledgement of the enormous challenge involved in suddenly managing hundreds of millions of dollars would lead to a new level of understanding of the tremendous responsibility that wealth carries with it. People would see that being on the receiving end of such a mammoth cash deluge is really as much a cause for grief as joy. Sympathy would be the order of the day. Condolences would be offered. Sincerely.

Well, probably not, but my advice to the winners is the less said, the better. Keep your answers short, in the range of five syllables per answer. Or seven.

Yes, Haiku short.

I
Lottery winners
squander their fortunes quickly.
Mine will take some time.

II
No one needs so much.
Yes I am undeserving.
Just like you would be.

III
Smiling muscles ache.
It’s an exhausting pastime,
handing out money

IV
I will buy houses.
Relatives who don’t need them
still must be appeased.

V
This burdensome win
has made me melancholy.
What lucky numbers?

Write a press conference haiku for the Powerball Winner.

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