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Menu Planning

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Today’s post comes from Bart, the bear who found a smart phone in the woods.

Bart Blackberry2

Yo, Bart here.

So I’m seeing a lot of articles about this group of humans who let themselves be locked in a crate out on the barren slopes of a mountain in Hawaii for three months – all to see if they could make interesting meals out of nothing but the kind of ingredients that could be shipped to Mars. You know, freeze dried beef, rice, lentils, dried fruit and Spam.

It’s called HI-SEAS,for Hawaii Space Exploration Analog and Simulation.

The project just finished up and you can read all about the different things they did, including exploring around the site wearing “spacesuits” and alternating their meal schedule between pre-packaged dinners and feasts they invented or put together using suggestions from online visitors. I guess one of the best recipes they got came from a professional chef who told them how to make Moroccan Beef Tangine.

That one really hit home for me. We bears are pretty much all about making the best possible balanced meal out of the stuff we can find around the edges of an ordinary campground. Here’s my recipe for Scavenger Salad:

Ingredients:

  • Twinkies
  • Doritos
  • Half eaten Buffalo Wings
  • Gummi Bears
  • Marshmallows
  • Graham Crackers
  • Juice Boxes
  • Ketchup and Mustard Packets

Directions:

  1. Throw everything in a pile.
  2. Eat.

It’s kind of cool to look at the ingredients list they had to work with at HI-SEAS.  It’s a better selection than we bears usually get.   Seeing this, I’m pretty sure I know what I would have done if they’d picked me to be on the crew.

  1. Eat all the cashews.
  2. Eat all the beef, sausage, pepperoni and Spam.
  3. Eat all the peanut butter and nutella.
  4. Eat all the molasses and brown sugar.
  5. Rest.
  6. Eat everything else.

Surviving on Mars wouldn’t be so hard!

Your pal,
Bart

What meal do you make when you don’t have the makings for any of your favorite meals?

62 thoughts on “Menu Planning”

  1. Since I rarely cook anything more substantial than a grilled cheese sandwich and virtually have no “favorite meals” due to having no appetite at all, I keep staples around like peanut butter, canned tuna, or a variety of 3-minute microwavable dinners. Tomorrow, I’m adding a brand new “staple”: Marinol, a synthetic THC (as in pot) prescription to stimulate appetite. Many have suggested that I try weed, but I’m only one puff of any kind of
    smoked product away from resuming an addiction to my drug of choice: cigarettes. Twenty three years of
    2.5 packs a day, I quit almost thirty years ago but remain convinced that just one act of inhaling any kind of
    smoke would endanger my abstinence from cigarettes.

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    2. When I was being treated for cancer I was prescribed megestrol acetate to stimulate appetite. Don’t ask me why, my appetite was about the only thing that functioned normally. I was supposed to be on the drug for five years but quit taking it after four when I had ballooned to 220 pounds. I’d find myself in front of the open fridge at all hours of night and day looking for something to stuff in my mouth. I was constantly ravenous. Once I quit the drug it took me 8 months to shed 30 pounds, but I have yet to shed the remaining extra 30 pounds that I’m still lugging around. I can certainly attest to the efficacy of megestrol acetate.

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        1. It was a drug that was developed to prevent weight loss in HIV/AIDs patients. I still can’t figure out why it was prescribed for me, but as I said, it worked like a charm.

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  2. i am off to the north country with my son who thought 5 days of brats would be good. i packed a little more stuff to make things with ans we will see how it goes. a jar of a tomato sauce base and some beans are the things i threw in to build off of and a few onions and potatoes peanut buter and cheese along with the spices of choice and we are off.
    see you tuesdsay ill miss the trail but its phones off in the north country and away..

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    1. Ooh – having post regrets. I typed “beer” on a lark this morning while I was in a hurry to get to work and I gambled that WP would make me sign in like it usually does, and then I’d just click out and wait until later to type something more intelligent. Now I’m home for a few minutes between workshop meetings and still don’t have time to post something more intelligent so you’re just gonna have to live with it.

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  5. Three months without fresh vegetables or fruit would be tough, to say nothing of a housemate who hadn’t showered for weeks or longer!

    There are certain staples I always have on hand. Garlic, onions a good selection of spices go without saying, and I usually have tortillas or flatbread in the freezer. I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t find cheese of some kind in the fridge. Add to that a tomato and pepper from the garden and a handful of arugula and I’d be good to go. Which would you prefer, a quesadilla or a pizza? Couscous, rice, pasta, quinoa, an assortment of dried lentils and other legumes are other staples that are handy for creating a tasty meal without having to make an emergency run to the store.

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  6. Good morning. My list is inspired by the one posted by Clyde. Pop corn, chips with melted cheese, microwaved potato, canned soup, black beans, raw vegetables, whisky, tums, and lick my wounds.

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  9. It is essential to my daughter that we always have the makings for spaghetti with olive oil and garlic. It is a deceptively simple dish, and when you put parmesan cheese and fresh garden tomatoes on top, you have what my daughter considers the perfect food.

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    2. Just made this last night. I added tarragon and lemon to the olive oil and instead of parmesan (which I didn’t have handy), I crunched up some old bread with some nuts. Everything I make right now has cherry/santa tomatoes… they are coming out of my garden in droves!

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  10. A lot of these suggestions sound good to me, except for the appetite enhancers! CB, I do hope you regain your appetite in good time because it’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. I take after Bart in that I overeat more often than not, unfortunately for my waistline. Back in 1969 college days when I first met my husband, I was migh tily impressed by his ingenuity in the kitchen — basically whatever was wilting in the fridge, stir fry with onions and garlic and favorite spices and serve on brown rice or lentils. We called it Slum Goo and it kept the engine going. Still does.

    This is a bit OT, but this year Bill and I signed up with a CSA, splitting it with our daughter’s family — we saw it as a challenge to make do with whatever was delivered in any one week — whether it was a mountain of zucchini or a boxful of assorted greens. We did discover a bunch of new recipes and combinations, but I think the main reason we won’t do it again is that it’s just too much food for the two of us. Plus I realized that I like to choose my OWN box of beans or tomatoes at the Farmer’s Market. Either way, we’re supporting local growers, right?

    And we still have to make a store run for the Ben & Jerry’s Raspberry Fudge Chunk 🙂 Keeping plenty on hand is my safeguard against EVER running out. I’d have to become a lot more flexible if I were to rely on foraging like Bart does.

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    1. Robin – this was exactly what happened when Teenager and I did the CSA experiment three years ago. Just too too much for us. I enjoyed the experiment although I have to say I spent WAY more time in the kitchen that summer than usual. But the bottom line is that I’d rather go to one of our local farmer’s markets and pick up what bits I need.

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    2. I don’t need a CSA to provide me with too many vegetables, I manage to do that all by myself. But like you, Robin, I prefer to choose my own. The pleasure of browsing, and visiting with the various growers at the Farmers’ Market are such an integral parts of the pleasure of finding the freshest and most tempting veggies that I’d miss them if I got only a box full of stuff they had chosen. I think the CSAs are a wonderful idea for people who don’t enjoy the trip to the market, or live too far away to make it there. I must admit, when I visit the supermarket this time of year, it amazes me that they can sell any vegetables at all.

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      1. It seems that CSAs do tend to provide more vegetables than their customers need. However, they are an important marketing tool for local producers and it would be good to continue to participate in one if possible. Selling at farmers markets is another way that local producers can do marketing which often doesn’t give them enough profitable sales to completely support their farms. The packing up to go to the market, driving back and forth to the market, getting setup, and sitting there doing sales takes a lot of time and can be too much work for the amount of sales made. Some people that sell at farmers markets are in it as a hobby and are not running a profitable operation.

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        1. I think a CSA share, or even half a share, are not geared to two person families. The disadvantage of them is, unlike a trip to the Farmers’ Market, you receive your weekly share regardless of whether you still have produce left over from last week. We found that the one year we shared a share with a neighbor, there was still too much waste. I love the concept, but having tried it, I know I prefer to go to the market and make my own selections of what I want.

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        2. Precisely, PJ! Plus I enjoy the face to face camaraderie of the farmer’s market. When I grew up in Japan 1949-66, we went to market daily for fresh food; now it’s a summer ritual I look forward to. I didn’t realize how much until this year.

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        3. I have so many Farmers’ Market friends whose names I don’t know, but we meet and chat weekly during the season. There are also a few whose names I do know, but mostly it’s recognizing a friendly face and having a personal exchange with the person producing our food. Love it.

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  11. Morning all. I am the classic “kitchen sink” cook. If I don’t have something in a recipe, then I just throw in something else. About 5 years ago, I remembered (at the last minute) that I had promised a big pot of soup for a church function. Since I had about an hour before the soup have to be delivered, I started with oil and onion and then just started adding anything I could find: frozen vegetables, a can of tomato sauce, some beans, some pasta… lots of Italian spices. The following few days I got three requests for the recipe from folks who had tried it at the church function. Go figure!

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    2. I have made soups from whatever I could find. They can be good and they can be bad. A good soup does require a good mixture of ingredients which can be a tittle tricky. I use a recipe if I want to be sure to avoid a failure. Some of the best cook books encourage experimenting with ingredients while giving you guide lines that help you avoid a failure.

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  12. There are some fun notions being offered here. Your soup sounds pretty good, vs. If I’m out of my usual foods I can make an evening meal with a baked potato topped with whatever I might have around (sauteed green pepper and onion being a favorite).

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  13. My mom was a teacher, and when she wasn’t teaching she was helping my dad at his coffee shop. She didn’t like to cook since she thought it made a mess, and so I was often left at home to cook for myself, scrounging things out of the cupboards and figuring out what I could combine to make a meal. I remember quite fondly the satisfaction of toast and popsickles as a pretty darn good meal.

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    1. Moms sometimes draw a line. Mine was happy to serve us lunch and supper, but she wouldn’t do breakfast. One year I got up and made cinnamon toast every day. Toast still seems like a special treat. We served toast all the time to my daughter. One day she decided she would like something different, so she requested a piece of “raw toast.” I thought about that for a moment and then realized, “Molly, there is a name for raw toast. Most people call it ‘bread’.”

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      1. My mom is not a great cook. She didn’t really learn to cook as my grandmother only made 7 things (the way my grandfather liked it) and she has never enjoyed it. When my dad retired, my mom announced that she was done cooking and they would either go out every night or have get delivery. “If he’s retired, then I’m retired.”

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  14. Hard boiled egg, cottage cheese, peanuts, crackers. I almost always have canned tomatoes & tomato paste and some sort of pasta I can make a quick spaghetti dinner out of.

    I’ve been reading 84 Charing Cross Road – there is some talk about food, what kind of eggs Helene should send, the fresh or the powdered. I hadn’t really realized that food rationing went on so many years after the war in Britain. In 1952 they are still writing about rationing eggs. It would be hard to get along without eggs, at least for me.

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    1. Some food items (especially sweets) were rationed until 1953, and meat was rationed until 1954. This is a different point, but when I fell in love with British films (especially the Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers comedies) it was normal for the films to include piles of rubble from German bombs. Those piles didn’t disappear right away when the war in Europe was over.

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      1. When I visiting London in 1954 I was struck by how many bombed out buildings and piles of rubble were still around. Denmark, despite having been occupied by Germany for five years during the war, was virtually unscathed by it. I was shocked to see the extent of the physical damage London had sustained, and how much was still evident nine years after the end of the war I also recall sugar and coffee being rationed in Denmark until 1952.

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      2. Aontehr favorite Barbara Pym quote about rationing “It has come to this-we are eating frozen vegetables like Americans.

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      1. Talking about books, I’ve just received my copy of “Please Don’t Feed the Bears.” Can’t wait to try the “Taco Thrasherole,” or the “Misery Wot.” Recipes come complete with music recommended for listening while cooking. What a hoot.

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        1. I had the Jumped Up Ramen (can’t remember the real name) recipe from this for lunch today. Really really easy and very very tasty!

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  15. I am curious how many Baboons have pets who have helped themselves to food in the kitchen (or elswhere) when they weren’t supposed to. Our Welsh Terrier is an avid foodie who believes that she has right to help herslf to what ever is available.

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    1. This happens so often it’s not even a surprise when it happens. My current dogs are moochers, but a previous Irish Setter set a world record for how much food he could get into, eat and not get sick. He ate two large loaves and 3 little loaves of banana bread once; I even had barriers on the counter, but he managed to push past them and get to the bread, which was still warm. Not only did he not get sick, but was surprised that he didn’t get any dinner that night!

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      1. We once came home from church to find that our previous Welsh Terrier decided that she really needed to eat all the sugar in the sugar bowl. It amounted to about 1.5 cups of sugar. That was a lot of sugar for an 18 lb dog. She got very ill and we had to take her to the vet (on a Sunday) for IV’s and whatnot.

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    2. Daisy helps herself mostly to the dry cat food if we don’t make sure to have it placed where she can’t reach it. We don’t usually have food lying around on countertops, but I’m sure she’d manage polite self-service given the opportunity. As it is, she is always in the kitchen when I’m cooking. She waits, more or less patiently, for me to drop something edible on the floor. She loves most vegetables, but won’t eat raw celery or carrots. Chunks of sweet potato, cauliflower, broccoli, and zucchini are all devoured without hesitation. Martha, on the other hand, can’t be bothered with people food. She likes her canned cat food better.

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      1. Thanks to the previous Irish Setter, Zorro the Cat snarfs his food down instantly when I put it out, even though it is now in a place that current moochers can’t get to it. He was well trained and sticks to his training even though the previous Irish Setter has been gone for almost 8 years. Kitten’s food is safe on top of the fridge!

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    3. We previous owned a cat and dog that teamed up to make food raids. The cat would jump up on the counter and knock anything edible off for the dog to enjoy. That dog, an airedale terrier, was like your dog, vs, could, and would given the opportunity, eat vast amounts of whatever. She once ate six two-pound fruitcakes that I had purchased from the Collins Street Bakery in Texas. She made large mounds of colorful, raisin-studded poop for several days afterward. On another occasion, when she was on “vacation” at another family’s house, she got up on their kitchen counter in order to reach the sheet pan full of freshly baked brownies they had placed on top of their refrigerator (we had warned them!). She ate the whole thing, not a crumb left, and apparently suffered no ill effects. On another occasion, we had a friend house- and pet-sit while we were camping. We came home to find a note on the dining room table: “Bess ate all of her heart worm pills this morning. I called the vet, and he said to feed her castor oil to make her poop. I have given her several spoonfulls but she hasn’t pooped yet. I have to leave, hope everything’s OK when you get here.” It was! She died in her sleep when she was 12 years old. This was a dog that was named Bandit when we adopted her from the dog pound. We renamed her Bess, but in retrospect realized that she was aptly named when we got her.

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      1. My first dog on my own ate a whole bag of Hershey’s kisses once. She never had any ill effects (she lived to 14) but for two days afterwards, her “remains” were full of shiny foil bits!

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    4. We had a St Bernard when I was a kid, and he would eat anything. He once lapped up a 2-pound can of Crisco, which loosened his bowels dramatically. He ate a huge can of Crayons. That was colorful when it reappeared. When I had springers and Labradors, they would sneak food whenever they could. As I recently posted, my last two dogs were English setters, and both of them were too honorable to steal food. They were also the only dogs I’ve owned who were to fastidious to drink water out of the Polish fountain.

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      1. I’m assuming that by Polish fountain you mean toilet? If that’s the case, you need smaller dogs. It has never been an issue with our corgis or our dachshunds.

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    5. My sheltie is also a foodie. Sometimes she drives me crazy if I’m trying to cook and she’s squeezing her way between me and the cupboards to snarf some crumb on the floor. Can’t take a step without running into her. She loves it when I eat popcorn because I tend to drop quite a bit that she will instantly pounce on.

      She can jump pretty high and one time when she was a year old or less, she jumped straight up and managed to nab some brownies from a pan on the counter. Any food that is left low enough for her to reach is fair game. I no longer try to grow tomatoes because she eats them. She also is adept at eating raspberries straight from the bushes, but luckily leaves enough for me.

      One time my mom gave me a very large bag of dried cherries and when I arrived home, I broke my own rule of not putting my stuff away immediately – and she got into the bag of dried cherries. (Yard cleanup was pretty interesting for several days.)Twice this past winter, we had overnight guests who left their bags open and on the floor in the guest room – and she ate up their food. And she likes eating chapstick and once she ate a half-full jar of vaseline with no noticeable ill effects.

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      1. correction – should say “…my own rule of putting my stuff away immediately” – there should not be a “NOT”

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        3. Babies are sleeping a lot and starting to gain weight – just a few ounces, but at this size every ounce counts. They are off their IV and done with the lights for jaundice. I think they are really cute, but I suppose some people would call me biased. They have quite a bit of hair, which always adds to the cuteness factor, and pointed ears.

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