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The Prescient Prognosticator Prize – 2013

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Last year on this very day, baboons on the trail were asked to offer their predictions for the year 2013. Of those who took up the challenge, only one impressed me with his accuracy.

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I cannot go down the list point-by-point to verify each of the things Chris predicted, but he gets credit from me for picking some easy targets and combining those automatic points with a few bold guesses. Chris knows the seer must choose words carefully. He beautifully hedges his bets with guaranteed-to-succeed-on-some-level predictions like:

“The Gophers will win the NCAA Hockey Tournament.
(Uh-oh, I may have just jinxed them.)”

No, the Gophers did not win the NCAA Tournament.
But Yes, it may be because you jinxed them.

And he is frustratingly non-specific on seemingly simple pronouncements such as:

2013 will be cooler than normal. (Just a hunch)

Cooler locally, nationally or globally?
Cooler temperature-wise, or in overall (or individual) hip-ness?

This is the kind of vague prediction that is certain to be both true and not true.

I don’t know if Chris managed to find a publisher or an agent this year, or if he won that hoped-for writing award. But I do have the power to make this part of his scenario at least partially true by awarding him a laurel he didn’t seek and doesn’t expect – the Trail Baboon Prescient Prognosticator Prize for 2013.

Care to enter for 2014?

Make your predictions!

77 thoughts on “The Prescient Prognosticator Prize – 2013”

  3. Rise and Prognosticate Baboons!

    1. I’ll start comments with Rise and Shine!
    2. There will be more and more contributions from the Trail denizens as Dale’s radio creations keep him busy.
    3. Steve will move to Portland, Oregon where he will thrive.
    4. Obamacare will recover from the rollout black-eye and blaze new trails in health coverage. it will become especially beloved after pioneering and providing effective treatment for Mental Health Diagnoses as follows:
    ROVE RAGE–that inexplicable condition afflicting Republican Congresspersons in which they appear to pitch a temper tantrum in the presence of news cameras, then regain self-control’s the camera stops filming (Obamacare RX–ban 24 hour news coverage)
    REPUBLICAN DELUSIONAL DISORDER–the delusion that problems will solve themselves without any research funds in combination with the delusion that if you budget your money and tax accordingly and accountably, people will be pleased and vote against the Republicans. (Oh, wait. Is that a delusion or a fear?)
    NEGOTIATION PHOBIA–self-explanatory. Treatment–losing elections. We can only hope. As Chris says, we are optimists.
    5. Baboons will continue to read and socialize.

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  4. Congratulations Chris! I do hope this award is suitable for framing!
    I predict the scourge of the blue doily will continue unabated.

    I predict Clyde will favor us with more poetry.

    Anna will bake something delicious.

    Edith will score at least one day pass from the slammer.

    Linda will garden.

    Robin and Bill will enjoy their grandchildren.

    Ben will bake some friendship bread.

    Holly will post an apt music video.

    tim will inadvertently use a capital letter

    Sherillee will read a book.

    Chris will play golf.

    Jacque will bid us rise and shine.

    Crystalbay will dance.

    Jim will plant something.

    BiR will spend quality time on her porch.

    That Guy will wear a hat.

    Renee will attend a musical event.

    Steve will tell a story.

    Kids will be born in Blackhoof.

    Dale will clue us in to an astronomical wonder.

    Bubby Spamden will be a sophmore at Wendell Wilkie High.

    PJ and Hans will attend an interesting event.

    I will remember someone I left off this list by accident.

    I’m going for the win here folks, don’t let me down!

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      1. Doh!!!!!!

        I knew there was at least one person.
        I blame my infrequent reading of late (resolution, get back inthe baboon groove) it was bound to happen.

        Lisa, help me out here!

        AND

        Crow Girl will post something that sends me googling for a vegan recipe or a book.

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    6. Krista’s job will improve and she will find more time to join us on the trail, and Beth-Ann will become more regular as well. (Chris isn’t the only one with ambiguous prognostications.)

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    7. MIG, I may well bake something as early in the year as tomorrow – if not then, by the weekend for sure. There are birthdays to bake for on 1/4, 1/5 and 1/6. 🙂

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  6. Good morning.

    1. 2014 will see warmer temperature and we will make a bigger efforts to stop global warming.

    2. Many Republican will continue to bad mouth Obamacare while large numbers of people will see improvement in their health care coverage in spite of more blunders in administrating the new health care programs.

    3. Minnesota will make some improvements in it’s education systems, but will still have schools that need more funding.

    4. We will continue to have terrible military conflicts in the world with some decrease due to less military intervention and more use of diplomacy.

    That’s just a few of the trends that I hope we will see in 2014 to make the world a little better place to live.

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  7. Husband and I ordered all our garden seeds last weekend, so my predictions will be garden linked:

    The tomatoes and hops will not have blight this year due to prophylactic application of fungicide.

    Due to the move across town of Finian the great hunter (the cat across the street) Chris will put chicken wire around the cabbage plants to keep the bunnies out Thuricide will be applied on time to keep the cabbage worms under control.,

    The pepper plants will thrive since Renee will start the seeds in February instead of starting them in April like last year.

    The celeriac and turnip rooted parsley will exceed expectations but Chris won’t know exactly what to do with it all and Renee will be dismayed about all the weird soups he makes with them.

    The new variety of butternut squash (Dick’s Pick instead of Waltham) will be a winner, and Renee will wonder why she planted so many when she has baskets of them in the basement again next autumn.

    Renee will get the perennial flower beds under control, moving some plants and giving excess plants to the neighbors.

    Raspberries will continue to take over and need to be forcibly repelled back to their allotted space in the back yard,

    Chris will continue to try to sneak new plants and seeds past Renee when he thinks she isn’t looking.

    Neighbors will be puzzled what the metal contraptions in the front yard are (pole bean towers).

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  8. :-O *Rushes us to the podium, fanning face with hand* Oh my goodness, I’m all verklempt! I’d like to thank the Baboon Academy, faithful readers, and Dale for starting and sustaining this wonderful community. Also thanks to Dale for even remembering to return to the archives and go through all the prediction posts and evaluate their accuracy. What a great idea for a post. (Can I steal the idea?) 🙂

    I was a bit surprised that any of my predictions came true, especially the weather one. For the record, the prediction was that Minnesota would be colder than normal on average for 2013. And I will NOT predict a NCAA championship for the Gopher hockey team this season! (But really, hockey gods, we’re way overdue!)

    The prediction I’m most proud of is that theoretically, the publishing prediction came true. I signed a contract last week with the publisher of the Boundary Waters Journal to buy an article I wrote about my solo canoe trip last summer. The article will be in the Spring 2014 issue, but to me, agreeing to sell the article is the sign of recognition I was looking for, even though I won’t get paid until after the piece runs.

    So think big, Babooners, set lofty goals, make bold predictions, then believe in your ability to make those predictions come true.

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    4. we will look forward to seeing the product of your loins. canoeing trip should be interesting fodder for the trail. lets breal out the trail mix and read by camp fire in the spring. can you make it up and do a reading for the baboons chris? or shall we come down and have the fire in the fleet farm parking lot down there?

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  9. After polishing the TBPPP statuette and finding a suitable place on the mantle, I’ve decided to retire undefeated from the prognostication game and only compete in the “Past Masters Strictly For Fun” category. (I equate this to going to a casino for the first time, naively winning a hundred bucks or so, and getting the heck out, never to return again, but able to brag for the rest of your life that for once in your life, you beat the system.)

    So my PMSFF predictions for 2014 are:

    The weather for Minnesota will be completely different than in 2013, but overall about the same. (How’s that for hedging?)

    The 2014 elections will stoop to new lows of inanity and dirty politicking, and billions of dollars will once again be wasted on an outcome that won’t be much different than what we’ve had for the past two years.

    TV reality shows will sink to yet deeper new lows. And you thought Honey Boo Boo was the rock-bottom … WRONG!!!!

    Live, face to face human conversation as we know it will become virtually extinct. People will go out for coffee, sit across a dinky table from each other, pull out their cellphones and text each other for thirty minutes while drinking their lattes.

    Internet content providers will dump more and longer commercials onto their websites and force you to watch them before receiving their content, even more than they did in 2013. The trend is not our friend here, folks. As our TVs become more like out computers, our computers will become much more like TVs. “Free” content will cost you in time lost watching mandatory commercials. The alternative will be to pay a yearly or monthly fee to keep the commercials off your browser. It’s already happening with some websites, but it will explode in 2014 to the point of genuine annoyance for cheapskates like me.

    And of course, I predict that elusive agent or publisher will discover my rare and beautiful writing genius and pay me millions of dollars to write whatever comes into my pretty lil’ head. 😉

    Chris in Owatonna

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  10. i think the trail wil be overrun with heretofore lurkers who come out of the internetwork like tea party silent majority wannabes. who knew all those silent lurkers had an opinion that they had rolling around up there. the difference is we have old hippy ideals rolling around instead of nazi gestapo clowns. instead of having to rely on the rants of the few we can count on hoping our posts will be noticed among the thousands of listings a day. did you ever try a star and tribune blog…good lord!!!
    dale will with the extra time from having to write only two entries a week ( steve pj and clyde take mondays, sherrilee renee, and anna tuesdays dale wednesdays jim edith ben and i will share thursdays, bir, crow girl, lisa robin and bill will take friday and saturday will be dales big day with a blog for the weekend) this will be true except on the 15th of the month which will be lindas blog day every month. with all that extra time dale will send his first book off to the publisher and be rejected… 14 times before it gets published as book to be the next movie to be made by rob reiner, robert redford or the coen brothers (three very different movies but tom hanks will star in two of them) donna will join us in june and join jim and i with our thursday entries.
    the tea party will sweep the elections and prove once and for all that the republican in name only title falls on both sides of the party line. they will develop such a distrust of each other that a third party will be formed that will destroy both the old guard gop and the tea party.making democrats look like the ones with a plan.
    the sports scene will continue at 500 level and we will anguish in what could have been if we had only done things the way i thought they should ahve been done.
    the gurthie and walker will be attacked by terrorists and destroyed due to their hatred by the public and we will stop having arts in buildings that do not meet with public approval. we will build landmark centers and minneapolis instatute of arts all over town and as soon as one fills with anew tenant we will build another.
    the polar ice cap will melt enought o bury the island nations that have elevations of less than 100 feet.
    bob dylan will get old
    the winter olympics will go unnoticed
    cereal will be named the americas food
    the new pope will get catholics to stop denying they know jesus.
    detroit will be found to be holding the carberator that will give us 200 miles per gallon and bp will become a penny stock.
    america will boycott china for one year and show them that we mean business
    mexico will become our new partner and become the new frontier for reclaiming our rightful place int he world.
    austrailia will be converted to an amusement park just like randy newman predicted in 1970
    rt rybek will be quietly readying him self for the presidential election and will defeat chis christy in the closetest election since carl rove beat al gore

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  12. * Family gatherings will become totally silent as every member except grandparents will be preoccupied with his/her tiny, screened piece of technology
    * Banks will begin to charge us interest for the privilege of keeping our money
    * Electric cars will crash the electrical grids, cause mass chaos, and result in Minnesotans to die from hypothermia
    * Ted Cruz will emerge as a dictator and launch a nation-wide hunt for socialists
    * China’s dense smog cloud will envelope the entire continent
    * Every abandoned cat and dog in America will find a loving home
    * A cure for all cancers will be discovered but the FDA will take a decade to approve it’s use
    * The White House will be painted black in honor of our first black president
    * My granddaughter’s stint on a new reality series will go down in flames after one showing
    * 90% of the population will get enough therapy to help them evolve and discover compassion
    * The majority of Americans will be alarmed enough to vote in droves to banish the cancer called the Tea Party
    * CB will seek help to overcome the pessimism of this prediction list!

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  13. The University of North Dakota will decide on a new team name, either as the Roughnecks, the Flickertails, or the Oil Barons. State residents will complain and protest and go to court about whatever name is chosen.

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  14. I see, the gloves are off, and no-holds-barred. 2014 here we go:

    The winter olympics will be a fiasco, at least as far as the US goes. Lindsey Vonn won’t medal, and her romance with Tiger Woods will end in a spectacular crash. The baboon tribe will host a spectacular white meal in celebration of another baboon success story. One of tim’s business ideas will finally take off; alas it won’t be the travail mugs, so he won’t have to split the earnings with me. A member of the baboon tribe will have a brush with celebrity that will result a huge increase in trail participation. Wait, wait, my crystal ball is icing up! Drat, it was just beginning to get interesting. More later if it defrosts while I’m out for brunch.

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  15. I guess I have no defining characteristics with which MiG can predict. Plus, I’m not a frequent poster. Lately, work has kept me too busy to keep up.
    Personal predictions – I will edge ever closer to retirement; I will continue to be wowed by Baboon cleaverness and I will continue to be stymied (good word, that) by the daily question.
    Also, I predict that BiR, CB and I will continue to dance up a storm and BiR, Holly and whoelse will continue to sing at every opportunity.

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  16. Just a reminder that anyone who visits me can pretty much walk away with as much free stuff as they can carry. I just found out that Cheapo Records pays only pennies on used music CDs, of which I have several hundred (folk, Celtic, International, classic jazz, bluegrass, guitar, etc).

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        1. I’m so proud of you for moving ahead under such difficult circumstances to be with your daughter and grandson, Steve. What a gargantuan job this is, but the goal
          is so worthwhile. I will miss you, though.

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  17. I don’t know that I can embellish too much on what has already been predicted. I can add, perhaps, that Teenager (is she still Teenager? CollegeStudent?), S&H, Darling Daughter, Ben’s Charming Daughter and Strapping Son, Mr. Tuxedo, Liam, the Twin Grandchildren of Edith, and any other children or grandchildren not mentioned will grow, prosper, and do fabulous things (perhaps one of them will solve world hunger). The snow will pile up in charming ways and then melt to usher in spring about the time we all start to get a little psychotic from the lack of time outdoors, summer will seem too fleeting (and somehow once again I will only get to the lake twice during the summer), and the earth will continue to spin on its axis.

    I would like to hope that the recent ruling in Utah allowing same sex marriage will either go uncontested or will be brought all the way to the Supreme Court where the Supremes will finally do the right thing and make marriage equality the law of the land. I would also like to hope that I could get through a day at home without being interrupted after 5 minutes in to any given task, but that seems less likely even the Supremes doing right by all of our country’s citizens and their desire to be legally wed. Sigh.

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  18. I am stymied by this question, but what the heck, I’ll give it my best shot.

    I will get no new grandchildren in 2014 (three new ones in 2013 was a bit much for me). All three of my grandsons will learn to walk during the coming year.

    Steve will sell his house for the asking price to the first people who view it AND sell everything he wants to sell at his estate sale. In fact, people will be so eager to buy his stuff that he will find that even the things he wanted to keep were accidentally sold. This will make his move to Portland easier and also make him a rich man.

    The next BBC meeting will have more than 4 people attending. To celebrate, we will decide to meet every month and read 5 books for each meeting.

    Robin will write three guest posts. Linda, having proven to us from her minutes of BBC that she is a very good writer, will write five guest posts. Before April.

    My prison guard will do his best to prevent me from escaping, but I will outwit him and finally make it out of jail. Hopefully, I can figure out what to do with my freedom.

    Twin Cities Baboons will have another gardening/yard cleanup day…but my crystal ball does not tell me who will need help this year.

    Middle daughter, her Significant Other, and twin babies will find an affordable apartment that has more than 250-300 square feet.

    That’s enough for now.

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    1. Edith – I don’t know you or your circumstances, but I take it that your husband is your “jailer”? I just want to say to you that divorcing at age 60 was my very first opportunity to create a viable, nourishing and contented life. It’s possible, even predictable, that being by yourself is far, far more freeing than with someone who’s working against your evolution. I really hope that I’m not misreading your post here – if so, I apologize. If not, I’m a living example of how rich life can be once established apart form the past.

      I’m going on 12 grandchildren and haven’t been a “proper” grandmother to any of them. I feel quite remiss in not going on field trips, doing projects, or even attending every athletic event. Maybe someday I’ll regret this, but not yet. I know they all love the funky, atypical grandma they’ve come to know, however. Life at an older age is full of regrets, but none can be bigger than never having experienced yourself apart from an entrapping situation. What will undoubtedly result from releasing yourself from incarceration will flood you with relief and fulfillment. Doing so may be ,scary, or relieving, but either way, it’s full of integrity and fulfilling in its own way.

      Again, please forgive me if what I’ve written isn’t about whatever your current situation as I’m prone to presumption.

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      1. this is a bit off, edith isnt married and reads instead of dancing but other than that the advice is sound. i had an ex i have a current wife. i just saw nebraska with bruce dern in it today and it was wonderful. his son asks him dad do you ever regret marrying mom? bruce dern answers yeah all the time then whyd you do it? hell i woulda just ended up someone else who gave me all and made my life miserable every day. enjoy your time cb. ediths incarceration is a whole nother thing. a baboon thing.

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      2. CB, thank you for your kind thoughts, but the whole thing about me being a jailbird and criminal started with a guest blog I did a while back and tim’s imaginative response to it. You can read about it here (if you care to): http://daleconnelly.com/2011/10/07/overheard-conversations/

        Any comments I, or the rest of the baboons, make on this blog about escaping from jail or day passes from the slammer, and so on are just part of this story. 🙂

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        1. I just read the guest blog you referred me to, and have to admit that I still can’t make any sense out of how your experience was analogous to “escaping from your prison”. I’m certain that there have been and will be many posts which fly right over my head and that I take too literally. Again, sorry about that.

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  19. So many brilliant entries for the TBPPP, Baboons! I am just coming up for air as extended family left today after a week’s visit. Unfortunately, they had to take a cab to the airport, as the Prius decided to not start for the first time ever. So my predicitions begin with:
    * Husband and I will have a car again by next Tuesday at the earliest, and until then have a forced stay-cation for the next several days. This is not a bad thing
    * Those of us with extended family obligations will find that we are able to come up with whatever it takes to make them go smoothly. We will find the equivalent of Powdermilk Biscuits, that give us the power to get up and do what needs to be done.
    * We Baboons here on the Trail will continue to amuse and edify ourselves and each other, in both our comments and our prolific guest posts. We will continue to find ways to help each other, and will hopefully welcome a few other kindred spirits here.

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    3. The grinder for which I am missing the lid is the electric one. I do also have a hand-powered crank grinder, which I am using for now. If for any reason you want to cut down your caffeine consumption, just make it a rule that you have to hand-grind all your coffee.

      Thank you for your concern.

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      1. Actually, Linda, I was envisioning some cleaver contraption you might have rigged up, to catch the coffee as the grinder is whirring… 🙂

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