Poems

Lottery Prayer

45 Comments

Some people actually pray to win a huge chunk of cash in the lottery, which is understandable when you consider how many common problems would be instantly solved by a sudden infusion of $400 million into your personal account.

But I question the tactic of using prayer to ask God to reward you with helpful, timely interventions. One look at a day’s worth of woe as it unfolds in the news is enough to convince a sober observer that God doesn’t feel a particular sense of urgency about rescuing good people from calamities.

Besides, if there was a divine desire to make you rich, would God need to use the Lottery to do it? I don’t think so – not as long as we have Las Vegas and Wall Street and You Tube.

And as we’ve discussed here before, there is ample evidence that winning a huge jackpot could easily turn out to be the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

We have explored before what sort of language one might use when beseeching the deity for decent numbers, but there is infinite variety possible within every simple form. So with all that in mind, I went ahead and bought my single ticket for Wednesday’s Powerball while muttering this quiet prayer.

Now I play the Powerball,
I pray my numbers come up, all.
And if I become rich today,
I pray I won’t throw it away.

By partying until the dawn.
By buying yachts for hangers-on.
By funding every worthless scheme
presented as a noble dream.

By hanging out in seedy bars.
By buying worthless classic cars.
By sending distant kin abroad.
Investing in a mammoth fraud.

By launching my own space balloon.
By subsidizing Trail Baboon.
By backing bets my buddies cast
On horses that will finish last.

I pray, in short, for money smarts,
to add to all my other arts.
The wisdom and the sense to see
I shouldn’t play the lottery.

How to squander a fortune? Let us count the ways.

45 thoughts on “Lottery Prayer”

  2. Good morning. There is never enough money. Even the super rich seem to want more. What would I do with a fortune? There are lots of good causes that could use more money and also family member who could use some extra money. I guess giving money to them would’t be squandering. There are lots of things I would like to do and a lot of traveling that appeals to me. I think I would need a big staff of people to get all my favorite projects done and would handle most of that work over the phone or by email as I travel around the world seeing all the things that I always wanted to see. How’s that for using up the big bucks on myself?

    Like

    Reply

  3. Rise and Squander the Fortune Baboons!

    I am certain that my fortune would go for houses in my favorite locales (with lovely gardens), art supplies and a state of the art studio (one in each house), and travel.

    Yes! Now if I would just remember to actually BUY the lottery ticket and say the prayer above there might be a chance.

    Like

    Reply

  4. I think it is important for winners of the lottery to take the long view of things if they mean to use their money constructively. We all know this concept: “If you give a man a fish, he will be fed for a day; if you teach a man to fish, he will run around drunk in a $12,000 bass boat every weekend.” That’s the kind of foundation I’d set up.

    Like

    Reply

    2. Steve, I assume the foundation, that might be called Fishy Foundation, is actually a foundation that is an example of a kind that you think would not be good.

      Like

      Reply

  5. 400 million?
    I could live on half that.
    The interest would be a out a million a year and if was prudent and bought day old bread I think I could get buy on a million. One hundred thou a month would allow for an Extra pair of birkys and an airplane ticket a month to visit possible sites for corporate meetings and seminars. My involvement in helping the causes I support would in crease or maybe I would just keep doing business just the way I am and not end up so far in the hole every month. That would be a kick.

    Like

    Reply

  7. I’d likely direct most of it to my struggling daughter, who owns/runs a 93-horse boarding ranch. She’s in perpetual financial trouble out there, especially with a wasband who doesn’t get around to keeping up with his child support. There are constant crises with this operation, and few of them cost less that a couple of grand. Hay had tripled (drought), heating oil doubled (subzero temps), water pipes to the barns burst, tractor’s broken down, etc, etc. I swear this ranch is a black hole which would suck up every dollar of the 400 million, then still turn around and want more feedings! Lurching from one crisis to the next while rearing five kids alone keeps her under constant stress but 400 mil would alleviate this for at least a year.

    Like

    Reply

    1. If I ever bought a ticket and then won, I would take the hit of pain and misery so I could help out my kids and restore our money that went to medical bills.
      I think that I will never see
      stupidity matching the lottery.

      Like

      Reply

    2. There was a bitter joke in the 1980s. A farmer won a big lottery like this, suddenly getting 400 million. People asked him what he planned to do. “Well, I dunno,” he said, “but I’ll probably go on farming until the money’s gone.”

      Like

      Reply

  8. My roommate would spend it all on travel, after giving money to friends and homeless shelters and programs for the poor, and buying a big house as a home base. I’d give money to a few friends (anonymously by preference) and charities (mainly animal-related, knowing me), then build the most energy-efficient house possible on a few acres of private land, and spend the rest on books. Then I’d create a foundation so that when I died, my incredible collection could become a special library at a university, or a library in its own right, like the New Alexandria Library Project is intended to be.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Does anyone remember the film “Amelie?” I’d like to set up a foundation to make anonymous donations to needy people and groups, like Amelie did. I’d sure include funds to support no-kill pet shelters of all sorts!

    Like

    Reply

  10. We routinely mentally spend $1M as a goal setting exercise.

    That pretty much tidies up every expense we anticipate ever wanting and makes some reasonable contributions to things we care about.

    So that extra $399M (or whatever is left after taxes)? I guess I would give it to an organization that is researching pain relief, because it seems like sometimes our own CNS is not our friend.

    Like

    Reply

  11. I’d like to buy up some little offices and storefronts that are standing vacant and start little businesses in them. Find someone to manage each of them and hire a few employees. Pay everyone well and offer them benefits. Judge the success of the businesses by whether they contribute something to their neighborhoods. Not care if they lose money.

    Like

    Reply

  12. I’ve often thought that coming into a vast sum of money could make a person miserable. Having lived on a low income my whole life, I’ve not learned to want or value many things which others feel they can’t live without. I like it this way and it makes living quite simple. Decisions are simple and handling a small amount of income is straight forward as well as uncomplicated. Not having much money instilled a remarkable work ethic in my three kids since I couldn’t do much more than meet their needs. This meant that their wants were on them. I’ve never owned a new car, had diamonds, worn designer clothes or traveled to Europe. It seems to me that having great wealth maintains a desire to amass even more wealth and some of the most unhappy folks I’ve known are the richest.

    Like

    Reply

  13. A sad OT I need to speak, about something larger than money: one of my best friends in my teaching days was Leon–good teacher, loved the kids, loved by the kids, had a joy for life, good fellow churchman, raised four very fine children, very talent with his hands, giving man. He retired to start a successful gravel business. 7-8 years ago we were back in town; I was riding my bike around town and saw him pumping gas. I rode up to talk to him, kidding him about his gravel business. he had a very strange reaction, as if he did not know me. So I told him my name; he still did not react. A year later, of course, I heard he had been diagnosed with dementia. I went to see him, but he still did not know who I was. Yesterday he died.
    I lost him as a friend that day at the gas station.

    Like

    Reply

    4. A Leon story, related to the issue of money and how you get and manage it: Years ago, in the Trial Balloon days I wrote blog that included a story about Leon but Dale did not want me to include it; you will, I think, see why.
      For a few years, and maybe still, in the unnamed town where Leon and I taught, the students financed the prom by holding pit parties, which means they went out to one of the many gravel pits and at about 10 p.m. starting charging admission to a drinking party. They could raise the price of the prom, 2-3 thousand dollars, in a couple o f nights. Their problem was laundering the money into the junior class account. I knew all this because my yearbook editors, who were often deeply involved, would tell me about it. Working closely together every Monday evening for most of the year made the students more confessional and giving of information. I still feel guilty I did not rat on the kids, but it seemed to be almost privileged information.
      One year in the middle of this Leon was the junior class adviser. The class held a Saturday kids carnival, which raised about $1700. He was amazed by how much money they raised. He kept bringing it up, clearly sensing something was going on. So I finally said I will explain it to you, but you will have to decide what you are going to do about it. When I told him about the pit party, he was torn. He, too, let it pass.
      Were we right? I suppose not.

      Like

      Reply

      1. You have to admire the money raising skill of those kids. They certainly left you and Leon with a difficult thing to handle. I am not sure what you should have done to take care of that situation.

        Like

        Reply

  14. Like MiG, I’ve also used the “how to spend a fortune” as a mental exercise… as if somehow I need to think about this in order to be prepared. Ha!

    Paying for some college tuition comes up first… then some help for my old house. Make sure I have enough for some travel and retirement and then I start writing checks. The more bleeding heart liberal the cause the better! My biggest fantasy about winning a chunk of change this big is how I tell my boss… voicemail, text or email!!!

    Like

    Reply

  15. It would be very tempting to help close friends and relatives get out of debt, get help with their kids’ education needs, etc. I join others in thinking I don’t want much in the way of material things, but I can imagine making changes to this place so that we could stay here into old age. I’m sure I would have a second place in some warmer climate, and do a LOT more traveling. Will try to think of something more unique as the day wears on.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Nobody in my family has become rich by winning the lottery. My parents had some savings and did help me by giving me some money. I have managed to find some money to help my kids. I think getting financial help from family members is a common occurrence although I have heard of well to do people who refuse to give any money to their children. Some times it seems that family members are the only people that you be sure of helping you in a time of need and you can’t be sure they will come forward.

      I have nothing against help coming from public funds and I think there is a need for public programs to help those who need help. It is unfortunate that public programs are not well funded and some people want to reduce that funding. I think in an ideal situation any excess money that any one has would go to helping all of those in the world that need help. I’m sure that last statement brands me as a dirty communist.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Myself, I like to actually use dollar amounts, so I know how much would be “enough”.

        $250, 000.00 would pretty much allow me to sleep more easily.

        Like

        Reply

        1. That was meant to reply to Sherillee.

          A communist you may be, Jim, but dirty? Methinks not.

          In some families, the children are skipped in favor of the grandchildren, which makes its own sense to me, but nobody should really “count” on that, unless they’ve been part of the family business, IMO.

          Like

  16. Looking at Dale’s last stanza:
    The great error of my life for which I am now paying the price,
    Was not knowing well things fiduciary.
    Oh, how money can be gone in a trice,
    Leaving one feel a pinch excrutiary.

    Like

    Reply

  18. If I had a fortune, I would take all the Baboons (and even our fearless leader if he would be so inclined) to Izzy’s and treat them to as much ice cream as they want.

    Like

    Reply

  22. I’m Aline Freitas from Framingham. Lord Bubuza helped me win $4M in the MA “777” lottery by giving me the winning number after casting a spell. I took a $2.6M payout and plan to buy a house. I’m so thankful! Contact him: Lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail. com

    Like

    Reply

  23. HOW TO WIN THE LOTTERY WITH EASE: My name is Aline Freitas, and I live in Framingham. I want to thank Lord Bubuza for helping me win $4 million in the Massachusetts “777” lottery game. I reached out to him for help, and he told me he needed to cast a lottery spell to reveal the winning numbers. I followed his instructions, and after the spell was done, he gave me the number. I played and won! I chose a one-time payment of $2.6 million before taxes. I’m so grateful for his guidance, this truly feels like a miracle. With this money, I plan to buy a new home and improve my life. I believe this win is proof of Lord Bubuza’s powerful gift, and I’ll always be thankful. If you’re trying your luck with the lottery and need help, I strongly recommend contacting Lord Bubuza. You can reach him by email at: Lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail. com

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment