Prepare yourselves for a string of new news-based celebrities, led by stowaway teen, the 16 year old who climbed into the wheel well of a passenger jet and hitchhiked through extremely low temperatures and dangerously thin air to the island of Maui, where he dropped on to the tarmac remarkably, and thankfully, alive.
Once he is identified, ST will face justice.
But he will also have an opportunity to appear on as many TV shows as he pleases. He can become extraordinarily famous and maybe a little bit wealthy if he decides to sell exclusive rights to his story to one deep pocketed outlet, even if that kind of arrangement and that level of exposure is not in his best interests right now.
Will he take the bait?
It would be a remarkable act of mature reasoning for anyone at any age to pass up offers of stardom and the pleas of network and cable producers. And remember, he had not-quite-enough impulse control to resist climbing over a security fence and into the wheel well of an airplane headed to he Knew Not Where.
I’m betting we’ll see a lot of him.
Other personalities slated to appear:
- (Former) Airport Security Employee (FASE) who was supposed to be monitoring the monitors, but clearly wasn’t.
- Friend of Stowaway Teen (FOST) who knew he was going to do “something crazy” but never expected this.
- Parents of Stowaway Teen (POST). Brave and Unappreciated, or Horrible and Clueless? Watch the story line develop.
- Crusading Representatives and Senatorial Scolders (CRASS). Members of Congress will vow to Get To The Bottom of This.
I’m sure there will be many other characters to emerge before this whole thing is done.
If I was going to play one of them, I think I’d like to be Teacher Of Aforementioned Stowaway Teen (TOAST), who will marvel at the turn of events with a comment like: “I don’t know how he found the energy to climb into the wheel well of a jet. I couldn’t get him to lift his head off the desk.”
Help populate this story with a character we haven’t met yet, but will.
Trail Baboon 
the first respondent of stowaway teen (frost) found him on the tarmac and has a story to tell. stowaway teen and many inexplicably nerdy allies (stamina)
stowaway teen under planes insane demented aunt sara sue (stupidass)
stowaway teens ugly doctor masquerading under false face issuing newsflashes (studmuffin)
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Then there will be the huge cattle call for the extras playing the rest of us, Mainly Oblivious to Stowaway Teen (MOST).
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Good morning. Stowaway Teen Outspoken Professional (STOP). This would be the person who would give their professional opinion about the teen stowaway based on their vast experience with and extensive studies of teenagers and stowaways.
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When requests for media appearances roll in, the Stowaway Teen will hire an agent to represent him. But because this kid doesn’t really think ahead, the agent he hires will be a frustrated magician who is desperate to break into show biz on his own. That will lead to media events like this:
“I suppose you would like to know how this clever young man defeated all the post-9/11 security. He would like to talk to you about that.
But first, pick a card. Any card. Thank you, sir. Put it back.
He will happily appear on any interview show.
Ha! There’s your card, right, sir?
You can contact us at this number (hands out card).
Bet you didn’t expect I could find your card again, did you sir?
I don’t suppose you noticed my beautiful assistant. I’m going to turn her into a white bunny!”
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STATIC – Stowaway Teen’s Art Teacher in Control – ST’s art teacher from third grade who has always felt overlooked because his medium is chicken wire and bubble gum creating abstract sculptures representing the angst of urban living. STATIC will seize this opportunity to stage interviews in front of his sculptures nattering on about how he knew when ST was just eight years old that he would be an outside-the-box creative thinker. Perhaps he will also have some bon mots about the hijinx of ST during elementary art (which now seem prescient of his latest stunt instead of infuriatingly disruptive).
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OT: Sorry I missed the museum discussion yesterday. Thanks for the reminder that I am past due for a visit to that little treasure in my neighborhood. (And hope the interview goes well for your son, Clyde.)
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He thinks it did. They will get back to him.
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The MN DFL legislator who will want to pass a law requiring all schools to teach the danger of climbing into wheel wells. And the MN GOP legislator who will say such a law would limit freedom of speech.
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Earlier survivor (apparenlty less than 23% of people who try this stunt survive) who didn’t cash in at the time… known as MeTTS (Mentor to Teen Stowaway).
I read all the online stories yesterday and no one answered my big question. What in heck did this stowaway think he was going to do if he survived the flight? Same question for the kid from Minnesota who managed to fly to Vegas a couple of years ago.
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A hearty SNORT to all the above!
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OT:
13 months ago we moved across the hall from Apt 102 to apartment 101.
Today I got a call from someone trying to send us a check (not a very big one). They sent it to our address with Apt 101 in the address. But it came back saying that the period for forwarding our mail had expired.
Now that’s a rubber check. Let’s see if it bounces again.
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Totally OT, but happy Earth Day! I was far too young for the first Earth Day, but my roommate was in grade school and remembers it pretty well. I was in college in 1990 when the 20th anniversary/revival happened–I was even taking an ecology class at the time. We planted a rain garden and some trees on campus. I also went to the parade in St. Paul, and decided to join the little group of Neopagan marchers when they went past (might have been the local Covenant of the Goddess chapter, I don’t recall). I was underdressed for the occasion, by comparison to the others who had actually planned to march, but they didn’t seem to mind terribly much. I think that was the first time I saw Heart of the Beast’s giant puppets in person, too.
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Like your roommate, I was in elementary school at the time. The entire school went out to the countryside ditches to pick up trash. This was before deposits on bottles and cans in Iowa and way before recycling, so there was a lot out there. Most memorable thing for me was picking up a short-neck Budwiser bottle containing a very much alive mousie. Don’t know about the mouse, but I sure squeaked and tossed the thing far away.
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Happy Earth Day to you too, CG. I am old enough to remember the first one, in fact, today I am wearing the Earth Day button I got way back then!
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Yep, I was teaching kdgn., and tried to make some kind of big deal about it, but don’t remember what.
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I was 12 that first Earth Day, and participated in a trash pickup. My little group got our picture in the local paper. That was kind of a big deal at the time.
I have no memory of encountering any rodents.
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Another OT. tim – are we still on for Book Club on Sunday? 2 p.m. at your place? The All-Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg and Gone to Soldiers by Marge Piercy.
All are welcome. Having not read either of the books hasn’t stopped anyone in the past!!!
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Yep book club on!
On the first earth day…
I was at the age where if you can remember it you weren’t there
I’ll bet I drove through the woods smoking something natural on that first earth day.
Yeah that’s it
I was celebrating
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Went for a short bike ride, on the day that my cane was delivered. Saw folks aplantin’. We have leaves just starting to show on a few trees.
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April is busting out all over…
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My dad used to say, “There are two kinds of people in the world: creative people and people who use creative people”. I’d have to say that this kid was quite creative, so you can bet that any number of people using him will appear!
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I just don’t want copycats of this stunt! I am finally home and finally getting to read all my emails. I have missed the trail but have been too exhausted to comment or even read.
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welcome back
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“Last seen on airport security camera” will likely become a common caption for those photos on milk cartons.
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