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Bad Advice

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We are ALL Dr. Babooner.

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I was giving my girlfriend some advice the other day about who she shouldn’t be seen with, based on a companion-complexion social yardstick I came up with for no particular reason. It was just a bit of harmless counseling delivered by an elderly fellow to a younger person.

That’s what we 80 year old tycoons do with our 30-something girlfriends. We tell them how to live, because that’s what attracts them to us – our wisdom.

So I simply told her to think about how things look to other people, and I only did it because I’m so sensitive to appearances. Yes, I fancy myself kind of a public relations expert!

What I should have told her was “Don’t record this!”

Now the tape of my comments has been shared far and wide and people are saying I’m scum. And newspapers and websites are publishing unflattering photos of me, especially that one with my hands folded over my belly.

I admit that I’m surprised. I thought I was still hot! Really!

And I guess that’s just another one of the bizarre thoughts rolling around in my head that is apparently not true!

So now people I’ve known for years have banished me.

I’m an outcast and they won’t return my calls! Which is kind of an ironic result to come out of my who-to-be-seen-with advice.

Dr. Babooner, it feels like my brain is stuffed with ideas that just get me into trouble when I let them out. Plus, I now have no friends, no business associates, and no girlfriend to live within the inexplicable boundaries I feel compelled to enforce!

How can I make everything right?

Dizzily,
Done Don

I told Triple D that it is simply not possible to make “everything” right. Making “anything” right might be a stretch at this point. But offering sincere apologies and examining your attitudes is a good place to start.

And going forward, it is better not to worry about who other people associate with, unless you are a parent and the person in question is your son or daughter. And if the person in question is young enough to be your granddaughter, but isn’t, don’t let that confuse you. Truly, it’s none of your concern.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

27 thoughts on “Bad Advice”

  1. Good morning. Well, DDD, at least you are asking for advice. I didn’t think someone like you would want any advice. You even seem to have some question about your own self image. You better look real close at the idea that you are ” kind of a public relations expert”.

    I understand that you have more than enough money to pay for what you did. I think you might want to hire some people that are much better at public relations that you. However, considering what you did, I don’t know if there is anyone who can help you become more acceptable to the public. You might have to go some place where no one knows you and stay there.

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  2. i think the best advice for dd is to live the life of an actor. you can get up and say whatever your character ought to say and proclaim it is the characters view and not yours archie bunker comes to mind.
    when it comes to your companions it may turn out to be cheaper to hire an the hour. you can hire companions who will take care of you while you are having to deal with your short term memory loss issues i think medicaid may even help pay for these people.however you want them to. they are in the theater too. sort of

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlmGJQq3AlM

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  3. DDD would have been in a much different situation if he had accepted the fact that he is 80 years old and that he had no business with a girlfriend. Guys like DDD need to stick to their wives like glue,accept the fact their Don Juan aspirations are pretty delusional, and that having a lot of money doesn’t make them immune from rules and expectations. There is no fool like an old fool.

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  4. Dear DDD,
    There is an old saying,”with age comes wisdom”. Your actions indicate you believe this to be true and assume that being of a certain age (coupled with aquisition of wealth) means you are in a great position to dole out advice.

    I believe you have the wrong end of the stick. That phrase does not mean that by merely sticking around long enough, the dearly held values of your now long distant youth will now be more valid than ever.

    The basic idea is that you actually learn and mature over time.

    Please just go away, you are giving decent old coots a bad name.

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  5. I’ve never been wealthy enough to buy an exotic girlfriend, so I’m not sure I have advice for you. I’ll just suggest that any gorgeous girl who is attracted to you for your money is probably not worth what you pay for her, and she will always be a threat to show your less appealing side to the media.

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        2. We sold two houses with a month or so to move. Fast made it easy, but that was only across town.

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        1. We are in Amsterdam now–we bought round trip tickets out of this airport, so we were in Edinburgh in the a.m. and in Amsterdam now. We leave FOR HOME tomorrow at 10:25 a.m. We have had a wonderful trip, but now home will look wonderful! We have heard it rained a bit.

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  7. I’m mystified! Why is there such a huge media circus over this? This old coot’s racism has been well known for years. A rich, racist old man ensnared by his gold-digging thirty year old girlfriend; why does anyone care? They are both disgusting in my book.

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    1. I admit I have nothing to say, although I have been otherwise engaged today. So much ugliness right now. Another famous 80-year-old has said words and has an attitude which has been painful for our family. I am rather world-weary right now.
      My son sent us a video of our 8-month-old grandson giggling joyously for a few minutes, for no reason but simple infant happiness. That got me in the mood to spend my afternoon working on the story of our unusual courtship. I want to preserve it in word form for my children and grandchildren. I would do it as a guest blog, but it is just too long and I cannot tell it in many fewer words. If anyone wants to read it, which is long, you can see it here.
      http://birchwoodhill.wordpress.com/

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      5. i am in your old neighborhood at the university on harvard and university. weird heart stuff landed me in the cardio unit. hopefully just a blip that will allow me to be a free man again tomorrow. heres hoping.

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  11. can you believe the scumbags wife wants to be sure its ok if she still goes. she is a fan even if her husband blew his welcome.
    how ackward…, to be the wife who was being cheated on by the racist who is allowed to go even though her husband is being forced to sell the team so she is no longer owners wife. maybe she should just file for divorce and take the 1/2 of the billion hes gonna get for the team and buy season tickets for the new owners team. she could hire a young black escort to anger the ex

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