Uncategorized

Ask Dr. Babooner – Anthropocene Defaunation Edition

24 Comments

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I’ve been feeling a bit down lately, and whenever that happens my cure is to spend some time out in nature. Lovely flora and majestic fauna bring home the beauty of the world, and they convince me that my problems can be managed.

I know others find respite in nature too. And some of them are scientists. I know this because yesterday while I was reveling in the tranquility of a lush summer glade, I discovered a rolled up magazine trampled in the mud at the base of a tuft of prairie grass.

Opening it up, I saw it was the latest edition of a publication called “Science – The World’s Leading Journal of Original Scientific Research.” When I tried to flatten it out on a rock, the pages fell open to an article titled “Defaunation in the Anthropocene“. From the heading I just assumed it was about keeping young deer out of a suburban nightclub, but once I started reading it became clear this was about something even more disturbing.

Dr. Babooner, it turns out some people think the world is undergoing it’s Sixth Mass Extinction, and we humans are the cause.

That’s kind of a paradigm-shifting thought – rather than being the nice, decent people I assumed we were, I’m now told that we’re a disease, and we’re cutting through the Earth’s defenses more rapidly than the planet can protect itself and all the other creatures who live here.

Suddenly I’m kind of down again – the way you feel at the end of a night of drinking when you realize you really weren’t the life of the party, and you might have danced naked on the coffee table well past the point when people stopped thinking it was cute.

I’ve never thought of myself as part of a global plague, but now I can’t think of anything else. Dr. Babooner, how can I ever be comfortable in nature again, knowing I am such a threat to it?

Apocalyptically,
E. Bola

I reminded E.B. of the John Prine quote where he quoted Dear Abby saying “You have no complaint. You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t.” He might have completely made up that line, but if so it just makes him an artful liar. He’s darn good at it, so why kick up a fuss? You’re a disease! The kind that dances naked on a coffee table! The next time you come down with the flu, imagine there’s a microbe just like you in your system, riding through your innards in a top-down convertible, whooping at the stars. Then get out there and have some fun.

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

24 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner – Anthropocene Defaunation Edition”

  1. Ah, Baboons, this is the post intended for Wednesday, July 30th. I slipped when putting the finishing touches on it, and accidentally hit “publish” on Tuesday, July 29th. Consider this a preemie, and treat it gently. Next post on Thursday, July 31st!

    Like

    Reply

  2. As the mother of a preemie, I know just how large they can grow. Son weighed 3.6 lbs at birth, and now he tilts the scales at 6’5″ and 220 lbs. I agree with John Prine and Dear Abby to go out and have some fun. Lets just be sensible and forward thinking when we do.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. i was late for tuesday with a busy schedule so i apprecaite the opportunity to do wednesday right now thanks.
    in my experience when ever i get up and dance naked on the table cute is not the word that comes to peoples mind neither is smooth, debonair or coquettish. more like a celebration of muppets gone wrong, , a study in what aging can do to a once virile body and a reminder that if you just make a commitment to live for the moment you almost never throw up alone.

    dancing table topside is a thought whose
    moments come so much quicker with good booze
    just a shot here and there tends to teach
    that tequilla or sex on the beach
    have a tendancy to my my stuff ooze

    Like

    Reply

  5. Think back to preschool and kindergarten: treat your toys (or nature) kindly, don’t break them. Put them back where you found them so pieces don’t get stepped on or lost. Other kids will want to play with them.

    Like

    Reply

  6. I quote that John Prine song to people frequently… It’s one of my favorites. Right next to ‘The neighbors think my name is ‘Where the Hell you been’ ‘

    Dancing on a table reminds me of a cast party where I first had Ouzo. It wasn’t me dancing on the table. And nobody was naked. But still… Ouzo has special powers.

    PS, This is Ben. (When I log in it doesn’t let me post)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. On FB, an acquaintance from grade-school days has a picture posted of a bald eagle on a cliff top. The sun is setting and the eagle’s head is bowed in prayer, saying, “Please Lord, help us to find you once again and heal this once great nation.” I so want to reply, “As in before the white man came?”

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. I think Indians had the same difficulty where the Cherokees and the Navajos and the nez perse the Choctaw had issues with each other in much the same way the white man has between Germans and Italians and French and Norwegian but when the white man got here we got separated out and it turned into a them and us thing
      The world is disfunctional and it’s just how much you tolerate and how much you make it work for you

      Like

      Reply

        1. I’m wondering why eagles would adopt the human convention of bowing their heads when they pray. Then their super-keen eagle eyes are trained on their eagle feet, which seems like a waste of precious resources. Or God-given gifts, if you will. Maybe that eagle is really looking down at the ground for a rodent to send to the Lord.

          Liked by 2 people

    1. Hoping PJ will check in – there was a police officer murdered this afternoon, police have cordoned off an area about three or four blocks west of her place. Not where the shooting took place, but they think the suspect may be in that area. I keep hearing helicopters circling.

      Like

      Reply

      1. Yes, it has been a pretty hectic evening. Driving home after dinner with a friend I ran into numerous road blocks. The focus of the search seemed to be between Humboldt High School and Robert street, judging by the number of police in that area. All quiet on Sidney St., though.

        Like

        Reply

        2. I was at a mtg. this afternoon with a woman from Eagan who had happened to drive through St. Paul when all that was going on – the car being chased was coming her way with umpteen squad cars following it…

          Like

  10. Good evening. I have had a long day trying to help head off mass extinction by doing volunteer work for 350.org and attending two 350.org meetings. Dale knows about this because he told me a reporter from KFAI, where he works, would be covering one of the 350.org meetings which was about Oil by Rail. The Oil by Rail meeting was fun in some ways because there was a good turn out and good discussion about the issue. Also, I had fun talking to the KFAI reporter who turned out to be a Baboon know here for posting using the name Rico.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment