2025, Business, Health, Science, Technology, Uncategorized

Lifetime Guarantee

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I’ve been thinking about this term for a long time. What exactly is a lifetime? How good is any guarantee? And do I own any thing (product, device, appliance, clothing, etc.) that has been sold to me that came with a lifetime guarantee?

After all, a lifetime for a human can be less than a day to more than 120 years. Mosquitoes and many insects have lifetimes measured in days. Tortoises can outlive humans by a factor of 2, if the experts are to be believed. And Redwood and Sequoia trees live for four centuries or longer.

But let’s focus on human lifetime. Mine in particular. We bought the bathroom scale shown in the title photo from Brookstone at Southdale most likely, wayyyy back in the 1980s. It is battery operated, and I use it nearly every day to weigh myself. I’m weird that way. I think monitoring my weight daily helps me cut back on calories or exercise more to keep my weight roughly the same over the years. Not for everyone, but it works for me.

Lately, after easily 40 years of usage, the battery is showing signs of dying. I’m not positive, but I see larger than normal daily fluctuations in my weight. Normal is 1-2 pounds. Lately, I’ve seen several 3-5 lb. jumps or drops. I eat and exercise about the same amount every day other than an occasional restaurant or dessert pigout. So maybe the battery is at the end of its useful life.

I don’t even think Brookstone is around anymore, but if they were, and the battery died, would they honor their lifetime guarantee on this scale? Or did I miss the fine print in the sales literature saying something like “Lifetime guarantee or 40 years max, whichever comes first”?

No matter, the scale has been reliable and troublefree for decades, so if it dies, I’ll get a new scale that might be relatively cheaper because I won’t have to worry about getting a “long-term” lifetime guarantee. 20-30 years is about the best I can hope for.

MY QUESTION:
Tell us about any products you’ve bought that came with a lifetime guarantee and have actually lasted far longer than you ever would have expected.

36 thoughts on “Lifetime Guarantee”

  2. Tupperware. My sisters still have some that Mom sold at parties in the early 60’s. With this scene, I like to imagine what Mom could have accomplished as a Tupperware missionary.

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  3. menards taught me a lifetime warranty can be offered like this
    100 % 90 days
    70%. 91-150 days
    50%. 150-200 days
    30%. 201-400 days
    10%. 401-600 days
    5%. 600days +

    pay return shipping and original reciept and you too can get 5% of the original cost covered in the lifetime warranty

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  4. I know I have had things with a lifetime guarantee. I just can’t remember what they were. I’ll have to think about that. The things that I have that really have been around for my entire life are now genuine antiques. My dad’s wooden Buddha figure that he brought home from Korea before I was born, some antique furniture and other antiques, my grandma’s ukulele that she played in the 1920s. Those should have had lifetime guarantees because they actually have lasted for my grandparents’ lifetime, my parents, and most of mine. Do they even sell things with a lifetime guarantee anymore? We live in such a disposable culture!

    In other news: I signed a purchase agreement on a one level, two bedroom, one bathroom townhome yesterday. I’m suddenly feeling the stress. I will be depleting my savings with the down payment and taking out a non-contingent mortgage to buy it so that I can take my time fixing the new one up a bit and moving out of here. It’s not the best townhome in Northfield, but it is very reasonably priced. I get to stay here in town and live on one level. It’s a great neighborhood near St. Olaf too! Now, if only I could get a lifetime guarantee on it. It’s likely to be my permanent home.

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    4. congrats
      there is a thing where you can buy a warranty on the house that will cover things like windows and doors, but I don’t think it’s a good investment as I have stated before the investment through Centerpoint on their appliance furnace water heater guarantee is worth the money and a very good purchase It’ll be under $100 a month and you’ll never have to worry about that stuff again.

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      1. Yes, I had one in Waterville but I had Centerpoint Energy then. I only have Xcel Energy here and I don’t think they offer anything like that.

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  5. Oh! I bought a Majestic Filter Queen canister style vacuum cleaner for an insane amount of money in 1993. It still works, and it might work better if it was professionally cleaned, but it isn’t very majestic anymore. That’s 32 years, not quite a lifetime, but it does still run. I don’t use it much. Even after emptying it and changing the cone filter, it stinks. Maybe it needs professional cleaning.

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  7. Embarrassing to say that I looked at the back of the scale for the first time in decades and read that it is NOT powered by a battery. I’m not sure how it works because the back label says it can only be serviced at the factory (words to that effect). My guess is that weight on the scale completes some sort of electrical connection that lights up the numbers.

    So, my belief that a miracle battery that lasts a “lifetime” had been invented was mistaken. Still, as long as I don’t drop the scale from the top of a 10-story building, it may well last me the rest of my life.

    Chris

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  8. Sandy’s and my marriage. Not that we were going to get divorced. We are on the cusp of 60 years. I would call that a life time. The unexpected thing is that she would live to age 85, considering all her serious health issues. And that I would live to 80. Not that any warranty is ever issued on a marriage.
    I have found that warranties are seldom meaningfully backed and that purchases with a local selller without a warranty are more likely to be refunded or replaced.

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  9. Rise and Make it Last, Baboons,

    Sometimes a lifetime is too long! I had a Kirby vacuum that was a wedding present 50 years ago (This year would have been a 50th anniversary). That thing was HEAVY and it would not die. It was so heavy that it was hard to use, difficult to steer, crashing into stuff. The attachments did not want to attach and detach. I finally gave it away somewhere. (The marriage it went with was also something that needed to die, and it did, thank goodness).

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  10. My first thought is that it’s probably not the scale. You could be just having more fluid retention issues due to less efficient circulation. Some circulation changes can be expected with aging, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be evaluated for vascular health.

    I have always had unrealistic expectations about the durability of the things I buy. I want all my appliances to last seven or eight decades.

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        1. Yes. When I moved to this condo in 2016, I had a home warranty. It covered mechanicals and appliances and was good for a year. The company’s name was actually “Home Warranty.”

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  12. Sears Craftsman tools had lifetime
    Warrenty… if you can find a sears, I’ve heard they’re fussier now about replacing things.

    We bought a couch from a store and he said they’d provide lifetime coverage. Two years later they were gone. And they had been in business 60+ years.

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  14. My sister and b-i-l had a company come out and recoat their clawfoot bathtub. Supposedly the work had a lifetime warranty. After a couple of years the coating started to chip and lift off around the drain. The company that did the work had disappeared in the meantime. Then the coating started to chip off all over the bottom of the tub. My sistser had it redone, but was suspicious that the company they hired wasn’t actually a different company, they’d just started a new company with a different name. Same result the second time.

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  15. I actually have a lifetime warranty on our leaf/ gutter system. In fact, it says in the paperwork that the warranty stays with the house so if/when I sell the house, I will hand over that file to the new owners.

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    1. Let’s hope the business that issued the warranty on it is still in business if or when something goes wrong with it.

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