This alarmingly intimate sales letter arrived the other day from Wally, of Wally’s Intimida, home of the Sherpa – the world’s biggest SUV.
My Dear Dream Customer,
I’m grateful for your business even though you’ve never bought anything from me!
Why?
Because I had a dream that you did! And I believe in dreams because all salesmen are crazy optimists. And that same crazy optimism has me feeling very “up” about the car biz right now!
It’s no secret that all the world’s giant tech and communications companies are looking for the Next Big Thing – that “must have it” device or app or piece of software.
Well, it’s starting to look like the Next Big Thing is a Big Old Thing – the automobile! Because one of Apple’s bigwigs said the other day that his company views the car as an ‘ultimate mobile device’.
Small thinkers took that to mean Apple is going to develop a bunch of gizmos to go in the dashboard, but I immediately saw it as something bigger.
Yes! iHere iComes the iRide!
In my dream, we were standing together in a vast parking lot. I wore an iWatch, but the iRide wore you!
When you strapped yourself into it, the iRide had already guessed where you were going because it checked the time of day against its extensive records of everywhere you’d ever gone before.
You were headed to work, but when you got to work, you didn’t have to get out to work because the iRide already had all the trappings of your office built into it!
And yes, it was a massive vehicle. A Very Familiar and Famously Massive Vehicle.
I’m not saying I know for sure that the Apple designers are building their automotive masterpiece on the Intimida Sherpa platform, but I will say this – if I knew they were doing it, I wouldn’t be able to say!
Unless it was just a dream. Draw your own conclusions.
One thing is surely for sure – if Apple built a car, you would not be able to afford it. Which is why there’s no better time to buy a new Sherpa from Wally’s Intimida. Because a primal version of The Next Big Thing might only be within reach as The Right Now Big Thing!
Yes, you could own one tomorrow. Think about it, but not too much. Dreams come true for those who act!
The Sherpa – it’s a mighty big, mighty sleek, sophisticated, smart, intuitive, trendy, iconic, game-changing car!
Thanks for being in my dream!
Wally
I do think Wally’s desperation shows through here. All the retail excitement these days is around electronic contraptions, and those enormous SUV’s like the Sherpa are no longer riding a sales bump from cheaper gas. Long gone are the days when customers looked to the introduction of a new automotive model year with the same level of anticipation the bring to the unveiling of the latest iPhone.
But it’s nice to have a dream.
When have you rushed to buy a newly introduced product?
Trail Baboon 