What do the retirees of Phoenix and the camels of Egypt have in common?

They both got a little tired of living up north. Scientists have discovered camel bones much closer to the North Pole than ever before – about 750 miles nearer than the previous northernmost discovery in Canada’s Yukon. These latest fragments were found on Ellesmere Island. Pretty far north.

Although we associate camels with the hot, sandy desert, they originated in North America 45 million years ago. Camels were about 30% larger when they roamed the forests of a milder Arctic. Back then, the top of the world was not the frozen wasteland it is today, but it was still plenty cold and also quite dark for half the year. Wide feet and big eyes helped camels navigate the snowy terrain, but there was no adaptation that could help them resolve their personal quarrels about where to live.

Don’t believe me? Alongside the bone fragments, researchers found a petrified tablet bearing thousands of scratches that turned out to be all that remains of a snow camel language.

Monday, September 2, 3 million B.C.,
Joe talked again about following the sun when it starts to go away. Stupid idea! But of course I didn’t tell him that – he’s so sensitive. The sun is a decoration, but he thinks getting closer to it will bring us more light and heat. Like that would feel better? I don’t think so. We’ve always lived here. Why would we want to go somewhere else? At least now I know when I’m going to be uncomfortable, and why. Out there … who knows?

Saturday, September 21, 3 million B.C.
He had a dream. Something about a place without trees. Nothing green. All sand. But it was warm, he said. The sun was big, and high in the sky and powerful and hot. I said, “That sounds like no place for camels.”
“Not yet,” he said.

Wednesday, October 2, 3 million B.C.,
He’s getting ready to go. “What should I pack?” he asks. “Joe, you’re a camel” I say. You carry water on your back. You’ve got what you need – except a good reason.” He says he’s cold and he can feel the light starting to change. And there’s that sun and sand dream. Now he says there are small upright-standing robe-wearing animals in the dream. They scurry around making strange noises and they build pointed mountains. Surreal. Sorry, this does not sound like home to me.

Friday, November 22, 3 million B.C.,
Joe left yesterday. Said the growing dark and the great hot sand dream called him and he could not stay. He asked me to come but didn’t beg. He said someday this place will be cold all the time – a barren, treeless, sheet of ice. Really? I think he’s trying to make his imaginary dusty landscape sound better. But this is the only spot we’ve ever lived. Our memories are here – these woods tell the story of all the camels that have ever been. There’s nothing for us over the horizon, I said, as far as I know. But he insists – someday they will never even know we were here. They will not be able to imagine a camel with a leafy tree in the background and we will forever be associated with sun and sand and heat. I think I get the message. He’s delusional.

But of course he wasn’t delusional. Just far-sighted.

What’s your most traumatic change of address?