Today’s post comes from Captain Billy, the skipper of the pirate ship Muskellunge.
Ahoy!
Me an’ me boys is appalled that a famed “marine archaeologist”, named Barry Clifford, says he discovered th’ lost treasure of th’ notorious pirate, Captain Kidd.
Clifford has been lookin’ fer th’ wreck o’ Kidd’s vessel, th’ Adventure Galley, fer 15 years. An’ now he finally claims he found it off’n th’ coast o’ Madagascar.
This may be, but what of it? It ain’t in the realm of imagination that a fella named Barry Clifford could ever make a dent in the legend of a alpha pirate like William Kidd.
No matter which name he uses, whether “Capt. Barry” or “Capt. Clifford”, neither one is intimidatin’ enough t’ strike fear into th’ hearts of his crew an’ his adversaries.
But then up from down below he brings a big bar o’ silver an’ lays it in front o’ th’ Madigascar president sayin’, “this here booty, what used t’ belong t’ Capt. Kidd, is now yours. It belongs t’ th’ Madigascar people. Meanwhile, I’ll take the fame what comes wi’ finding it.”
But me an’ me boys says Clifford’s gambit is full o’ holes, on account of he don’t understand th’ peculiar physics of pirate fame.
- Pirate fame don’t ever transfer t’ non-pirates.
- A halo of pirate fame surrounds any booty stolen by th’ aforementioned pirate.
- That halo magnifies the value o’ the booty many times over, an’ also makes it completely useless.
Th’ undeniable fact o’ th’ matter is that th’ treasure will always be known as Capt. Kidd’s Silver , no matter who is holdin’ it. An as such, it will always be more valuable an’ interestin’ than an identical amount of silver held by, say, Warren Buffet.
An’ also as such, it can’t never be cashed in fer anything else on account of you can’t buy nothin’ wi’ it that’s as valuable as th’ moment when yer able t’ point at it an’ say, “That there’s Capt. Kidd’s treasure.”
Therefore, me an’ me boys respectfully suggests that Barry Clifford hand th’ treasure over t’ some REAL LIFE modern day pirates – th’ only sorts in the whole wide world what can take proper care an’ withstand th’ pirate fame what has accrued t’ this particular collection of precious metals.
An’ yes, we has some candidates in mind!
Helpfully,
Capt. Billy
When you find something of value, how hard do you look for its rightful owner?
Trail Baboon 