The day after the day of thanks, the thanks continue to roll.
I have extra servings of gratitude for the guest bloggers who gave me a respite from the day-to-day task of posting. Joanne, Sherrilee, Renee, tim, Jim and Madislandgirl created a peaceful open space so I could take the time to visit my geographically distant, much loved, well aged parents.
Online work is famously portable, but my folks live in a backwater section of the Internet, near the intersection of Windows 95 Street and Dial-Up Avenue. I could have continued the blog from there but it would have been a slow, brutal chore. Also, one of the things you should not have to endure in your ‘80s is to wonder why your 55-year-old kid still shuts himself away in a room for hours at a time, working on God Knows What. Instead, I got to hang out with them, completing Autumn chores around the house (gathering leaves, cleaning bird baths, etc.), having meals together and watching several different flavors of CSI on TV. No wonder our senior citizens are so worried. The world is full of brutal murderers and crazed serial killers!
And now comes Black Friday, the day when Common Sense gets a knife in the back from yet another variety of CSI, a miserable little wretch everybody known as the Consumer Spending Index. This CSI used to put up impressive numbers every Day After Turkey Day, but following a string of disappointing years he’s got the cold desperate look of a guy down to his last screaming headline. Door Buster Deals! Low Price Shockers! Nothing is too outrageous. The plan is audacity itself – to compel hard working people who already have the day off and could remain in bed until noon to get up in the middle of the night instead, to swarm over department stores for unbelievable bargains. Even Discount Tires has a Black Friday special, which has got me wondering if my wife would prefer her packages under the tree to have a directional or asymmetrical tread pattern.
And it works! This morning just after 2 am I gave my son a ride to his retail sales job at the mall. Long lines of shivering people had formed outside Best Buy and Kohl’s. Parking lots at the major outlets were populated with idling cars. Sound the alarm! Just like Macbeth, Macy’s murders sleep!
MACBETH
Methought I heard a voice cry “Sleep no more!
Macys does murder sleep,” the innocent sleep, sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of Ladies Charter Club Cashmere Crew-Neck Sweaters, only $39.99 before 10 am on Friday alone!
LADY MACBETH
What do you mean? Who was it that thus cried?
MACBETH
It was the owl that shriek’d, or some Tribune. The Star, perhaps, or the News of Duluth, formerly the Herald. It was a sorry sight.
LADY MACBETH
A foolish thought to say a sorry sight. Such sales will make us mad! Summon again the page!
MACBETH
All great Neptune’s ocean will not wash this ink clean from my hand. I am afraid to think what I have seen. Look on’t again I dare not.
LADY MACBETH
Infirm of purpose!
Methinks the doors are already open and the surfeited clerks do mock their charge with snores. Give me the plastic daggers. I’ll gild the aisles of Macy’s withal;
That which hath made them drowsy hath made be bold; what hath pinched them hath given me fire. Hark!
What would Shakespeare write about today?