Sensational journalist Bud Buck has been looking for shocking stories in the grocery store. And when Bud looks hard enough, he always finds something.
The depth of the daily heartbreak faced by a typical grocery store banana is hard for an ordinary person to fathom. We, at least, maintain the pretense that all humans have equal value without regard to their condition. Of course we don’t treat each other this way, but at least we say the right words. Woe unto you, however, if you’re a banana. Because things are much worse. For you, the world is a much harsher, infinitely more judgmental place.
On a recent trip to my favorite nearby food outlet, this reporter was appalled to discover that virtually ALL the bananas on display in the produce section were clearly underage. These bunches were far too green to be taken home. Certainly any sensible person feeling compelled to peel a banana at that moment would look at these rookies and would find them unappetizing. And yet here they were, clearly marked for sale out in plain view. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a prude. But timing is everything!
Across the store, meanwhile, the evidence was plentiful that a small, separate band of banana bunches had taken terrible casualties at their remote outpost at the head of the cereal aisle. These experienced bananish citizens had done everything in their power to hold on to the territory. Some fell off their hooks. Other bunches were brutally ripped in two! Many of their number had become extremely yellow there was nothing left for them to do but retreat to the bottom of the display, bruised and defeated, though still proud. It seemed unlikely that anyone would give them another shot.
My observation – non-banana-centric shoppers tended to bypass BOTH these versions of the valiant fruit, preferring only to lavish their attention on perfect, like well-formed, bright yellow, unblemished fruit. How long can we afford to be so picky?
For the bananas sake, I’m begging you, please! The widening disparity between “Not Yet” bananas and “Too Late “ bananas is growing. The “Not Yets” have to listen to dismissive and snide remarks that they are ‘too, too green.’ The “Too Late” bananas are laughed at and largely ignored. Meanwhile, we’re not creating enough “Right Now” bananas to satisfy the voracious need. The whole banana industry relies on them to further the “fresh” “yellow” brand that we’re still building. Its failure is a depressing example of what we call “Bunches of Shame.”
This is only an excerpt, of course. Bud goes on for quite a while. But his angle is clear – he’s trying to ignite a class war in the produce section.
How can you tell if fruits and vegetables are ‘ripe’?
Trail Baboon 