It isn’t too often that we get to pin a name on something new since everything here has pretty much been seen already and called something-or-other by somebody.

But a new opportunity may have emerged with the mapping by radar of an amazingly extensive canyon in Greenland. Accounts say that to behold the still-unseen geologic feature is an experience that is breathtaking, in that you would have to be under two miles of solid ice to see it.

That’s exactly the sort of detail that can take all the fun out of tourism. Scientists say the Mammoth Furrow is not as deep or as wide as the Grand Canyon, but is much longer (470 miles to 277). But it would be worth the trouble of burrowing and shivering and enduring the bone crushing pressure of the ice sheet above to be able to stand on the rim of this frozen wonder and give the thing a name.

In the one story I read about the feature, it is repeatedly called “the canyon”, which is undeniably an accurate description but it lacks poetry. I think we can do better, so here’s our chance. Let’s name it! Less is more. Let’s keep it short – five syllables or less. “The Grand Canyon” has an undeniable power that comes from a magical combination of brevity and majesty. The bigger a thing, the shorter its name should be, I think.

I’m a sucker for alliteration so of course I’m attracted to “The Great Gulch”, “The Greenland Gap”, “The Terrific Trench”, “The Deep Divide” and “The Swell Swale”. But it’s important to speak to a modern audience, so there’s a lot to be said for something like “The Totally Awesome Valley”.

Let your mind roam to sights you have seen (or wish you’d seen) and names that have made you want to visit a faraway place. Because at the rate our climate is warming, we may get a chance to gaze on this thing yet.

What would you name Greenland’s vast under-ice canyon?